I cut some nikkas off for not checking on me after back surgery

[Max Power]

the problem is far deeper than the coli. look into men's incidence of deaths of despair. this shyt is baked into the structure of society, it's completely "normal" for men to not have deep and meaningful friendships with each other. We got folk calling it female behavior to be upset that none of your so-called friends checked on you after a major surgery.

The "female behavior" is taking it to Twitter rather than addressing the issue at source. You know this, however you're one of those "I'll show those men!" types. I wonder what creates that disdain for yourself.

 

[Matt504]

The "female behavior" is taking it to Twitter rather than addressing the issue at source. You know this, however you're one of those "I'll show those men!" types. I wonder what creates that disdain for yourself.

He addressed the issue at the source when he blocked those people. He used Twitter for the same reason everyone else does which is to share your thoughts. The fact that we think it's perfectly normal to have to teach adults that they should check in on their friends is insane but it's also the society we've constructed and guard at all costs. It's precisely why we're attempting to shame him by calling his behavior "female".

 

[Blessings]

This sums it up.

/thread

 

[Max Power]

He addressed the issue at the source when he blocked those people. He used Twitter for the same reason everyone else does which is to share your thoughts. The fact that we think it's perfectly normal to have to teach adults that they should check in on their friends is insane but it's also the society we've constructed and guard at all costs. It's precisely why we're attempting to shame him by calling his behavior "female".

Complete nonsense derived from you deliberately misinterpreting the posts in the thread

Keep showing those pesky men!

 

[Matt504]

Complete nonsense derived from you deliberately misinterpreting the posts in the thread

Keep showing those pesky men!

I don't think I'm misinterpreting anything here, while a lot of it is babble, it's nothing we haven't heard before countless times.

 

[<<TheStandard>>]

At this point, if people are being solid people I totally understand cutting them off.

Two years ago my friend was cheating on his fiance and needed money for an abortion and to get through the week. Two years later he hasn't paid me back a cent and despite me asking him 10 times, he hasn't bothered to pay back anything nor has he reached out to apologize, give me a plan or say anything about the money without me mentioning it first. I really found myself in a jam and needed the money back and he won't pay back a single cent. That told me all I need to know........so I get it. At this point I'm likely never speaking to him again. I wouldn't go on social media and say it but I'd just quietly move on in my life.

 

[Matt504]

At this point, if people are being solid people I totally understand cutting them off.

Two years ago my friend was cheating on his fiance and needed money for an abortion and to get through the week. Two years later he hasn't paid me back a cent and despite me asking him 10 times, he hasn't bothered to pay back anything nor has he reached out to apologize, give me a plan or say anything about the money without me mentioning it first. I really found myself in a jam and needed the money back and he won't pay back a single cent. That told me all I need to know........so I get it. At this point I'm likely never speaking to him again. I wouldn't go on social media and say it but I'd just quietly move on in my life.

It's important to speak on this stuff out loud. More men need to understand that they don't have to accept any and everything from folk while still calling them friends. You'll see countless threads on here where brothers are saying things like "no one gives a fukk about what men feel, we just gotta shut up and work " And in other threads you'll have brothers arguing in favor of why it's ok to not communicate.

In your case, mans showed you better than he could tell you. He needed you, you came through and when you needed him he's ducking and dodging. If you made a tweet about that experience would that be "female tendencies"?

The less men speak up, the more we're silently helping maintain a system that hurts us.

 

[CrushedGroove]

Let your friends know that hurt not having their support during a difficult time.

 

[Afro]

Boys and men are lonelier than ever. What can we do about it?

Lukas Dhont's Oscar-nominated \

www.usatoday.com

https://www.cnn.com/2023/09/18/health/male-loneliness-epidemic-wellness/index.html

Men Are Lonely. We Explore Some Reasons Why, And What Can Be Done About It

How some men are taking steps to forge, or rekindle, male friendships to feel less alone.

laist.com

shyt is a silent killer brehs, forewarning.

And no, work "friends" ain't gonna cut it.

 

[Marco Zen]

Some people take that "check up on me" shyt seriously... I had a homeboy I've known since middle school.. We were well into our 30s at this point and he had a birthday. Nobody in our crew came thru to wish him a happy, call him or have a beer with him (i had moved out of state so i couldnt). He later told me how much that bothered him. Year later he committed that, hung himself.

Some people take that shyt very serious.

 

[Matt504]

Boys and men are lonelier than ever. What can we do about it?

Lukas Dhont's Oscar-nominated \

www.usatoday.com

https://www.cnn.com/2023/09/18/health/male-loneliness-epidemic-wellness/index.html

Men Are Lonely. We Explore Some Reasons Why, And What Can Be Done About It

How some men are taking steps to forge, or rekindle, male friendships to feel less alone.

laist.com

shyt is a silent killer brehs, forewarning.

And no, work "friends" ain't gonna cut it.

Note how readily men jump in to defend the status quo, protecting the very things that harm us.

 

[gldnone913]

I haven't read many of the replies, but it sounds like his friends are trash. Also, did he tell them how serious it was? Dudes are likely to be like "you tough, you'll be aight" type shyt especially if they think it's just outpatient shyt.

I remember one of my homies was in the hospital w blood clots and I was like why didn't you say something? We suffer in silence more times than not and that's fukked up.

 

[jadillac]

Thats my point, Yeah he prolly did consider them friends, they prolly considered him an associate. Gotta have more awareness in these ice cold friendship skreets

Alot of times you won't know until ppl reveal themselves

 

[Fill Collins]

I don't care as long as the surgery is successful

People have jobs, and as I get older, jits

I wouldn't go out of my way to visit non- immediate family at the hospital unless they're dying so hey

 

[Afro]

Note how readily men jump in to defend the status quo, protecting the very things that harm us.

I don't expect much anymore, folks have no issue laying their heads in the jaws of self destruction.

I just do my part in RL with running Men's Groups and adding what I find interesting to the Therapy For Black Men thread.