How to eat off online dating profiles: The Geoffrey Chaucer tutorial!!!

[Jahmal]

guess i could use some advice now as well

went to a concert with the yt teacher a few weeks back. i paid (about $50 for the two of us, not including beer) and had a decent time and all that but i didn't know how to proceed afterwards. her answers to sex oriented questions on okcupid let me know she was dtf...mine were pretty much on the same page

she mentioned she'd been drawn to and dated "aggressive" guys in the past (a marine, boxer, etc). i think my profile listed me as being way more aggressive than the average guy but that shyt is totally not me, i'm pretty passive when it comes to women. and i'm treading even more carefully considering that i'm a black guy trying to fukk a yt gal (don't need no rape charges)

tbh i think she lost interest when i mentioned that i live with my parents (i'm 30 but have a job, car, bachelor's. no kids, criminal record or stds)

so yeah, i've hit her up a couple of times since then, i don't think she wants to be bothered with a breh. kinda tempted to send her a dikk pic and see what happens, not like i have much else to lose

IMHO, Teachers are wack as fukk. They usually cant chill during the week because they have to go to bed at 10pm and wake up at 5am. If a chick is only available to chill on the weekends her number gets thrown in the bushes.

 

[☑︎#VoteDemocrat]

Had a italian cac bytch come thru, look nice and fit in her pix with big ass tatas, yet when she showed up in all black with a boodeedoo, i was like




I had to give myself the for even entertaining the beezy..



anyhoo..




Lets see what we can salvage…..I had coli wolves on my mind the entire time Im with this chick….


This broad bout to sukk my dikk for catfishing me..

Broad came thru with a 3 Pack of tall can Budlights..I was like…daam ok.

Funny thing is I NEVA EVA EVA EVA EVA EVA EVA EVA EEVVVVAAAA NEVA EVA let a female know where I stay..unless she's deemed worthy..


Im finishing up my 32oz, she on the other hand almost finished with her 2nd beer and offers me the third..as to not seem greedy

yeah Bytch..I see you……..need…more liquor…in system…..

Anyhow, Im grabbing on tittays, chick is asking to go to my room lay down etc, she likes to sleep in etc

I bet yo fat ass do…


Im like "later, its all good"


Anyhow this broad wants to now goto her car to listen to music, I already know this broad on some high school shyt and wants to make out..well my mind state is on HEAD,DOME,BRAAAAAAAAINS!!

Before we left to her car I pour a gangsta 3 finger shot of goose…to..ya know..numb my vision a lil bit..

I got my beer and drank..chillin…we talking….I set my drank down, turn around, turn back around…DRANK GONE!

Like, yo ass CAME here zlizzard, now you bout to be extra drunk…oh well

So yeah we making out..here goes nothin…I kissed her couple times… I pulled back…she grabbing by head head talking bout, "don't you like me"..

Im like.."you aint got no breath mints?" She's like "Mints cause my stomach acid to act up"

I have NEVA heard of that shyt before, broad had the best drag Ive EVER heard of why you got funky ass breath

Anyhoo, I fires up half my wax joint..hotbox in that batch car…then she gets the demeanor…

I pulls out the dilsnick and told her "This is what you been wanting huh"..of course gently using my hand to press her head unto my penis..

She's like "Im not going to suck your dikk, but Ill fukk you tho" with a drunken matter of factly..

DAMMIT!!

Game over..Im done..

Im not going to have this fat drunk white broad laying in my bed..

So after I put my dikk up …I asked her "you feeling sick huh" that good weed had her feeling like oooooohweeeeeee

I suggested she open her door before she yak on herself…and she did…in time.

She fell the fukk out, slumped over in her front seat…I left her keys in her cup holder and bounced….

I just gave myself the…entire time I walked back to the crib.













Then went back on POF @ 3:30 am to see who the lonely hoes where

edit:video footage coming shortly

 

[Vado]

i always been a real nikka so i gotta keep it a buck

i been on my playa shyt for a minute

smash and dash3......all that

i met this chick this weekend and the bytch got me reciting what ima talk about before i dial her

shorty right as fukk had a nikka like "im surprised i bagged this bytch "

im slippin my nikka

 

[Vado]

IMHO, Teachers are wack as fukk. They usually cant chill during the week because they have to go to bed at 10pm and wake up at 5am. If a chick is only available to chill on the weekends her number gets thrown in the bushes.

thats not a bad thing

you ONLY gotta see shorty on weekends

 

[Jahmal]

thats not a bad thing

you ONLY gotta see shorty on weekends

My weekends are reserved for clubbin(recruiting new bytches) or guaranteed p*ssy. New chicks only get weekdays. Why waste a weekend night with a new chick that will probably only give you a hug and a pat on the back after the date. This nikka wasted $75 on a chick and has nothing to show for it. You nikkaz gotta start be smarter with your money and stop wasting it on wack chicks/dates. I live in Atlanta and I dont spend a dime on any chicks. They come over, cook for me,smash and I send them on their way.

Dont spend a dime on any of these POF chicks. Any halfway attractive chick on that site is getting hundreds of messages a week with guys offering to take them out. They are going out with different nikkaz everyday using them for free meals. If a POF chick isnt down to come to my crib she gets blocked. Dont let these dinner whores con you into spending money for their slutty p*ssy. I've smashed so many POF chicks and havent spent a bloody cent on them.

 

[A.V.]

i always been a real nikka so i gotta keep it a buck

i been on my playa shyt for a minute

smash and dash3......all that

i met this chick this weekend and the bytch got me reciting what ima talk about before i dial her

shorty right as fukk had a nikka like "im surprised i bagged this bytch "

im slippin my nikka

nikka...I kno she so and

But..... Picture yourself as her. No homo shyt. Picture urself...wit ur game, in her body. Now look at urself from HER perspective... "I got this nikka geekin n shyt...fukk nikka lol wait til I text this OTHER nikka & fukk the game all up..."


Then think about the number of bytches you've had probably reciting what THEY gon talk about before they dial/talked to you.
While they was doin all that, you prolly only had one or 2 things on ya mind...and was STILL doin u.


Don't you dare, my nikka...


Snap out of it.

 

[Vado]

nikka...I kno she so and

But..... Picture yourself as her. No homo shyt. Picture urself...wit ur game, in her body. Now look at urself from HER perspective... "I got this nikka geekin n shyt...fukk nikka lol wait til I text this OTHER nikka & fukk the game all up..."


Then think about the number of bytches you've had probably reciting what THEY gon talk about before they dial/talked to you.
While they was doin all that, you prolly only had one or 2 things on ya mind...and was STILL doin u.


Don't you dare, my nikka...


Snap out of it.

this is all fukkin true

 

[alphaomega]

This thread is a wealth of info. Good shyt.

 

[alphaomega]

Got the number from this chick on POF. Told her to call if she's interested. She hit me with the "I never make the first call" First of all, you live in NJ, I live in NY and she wants me to come out there. Tolls bytch, but you want to play games. I asked her what kinda rule is that and did she read it in a Steve Harvey book or some shyt? Sounds like she has a funky attitude from her responses. Mighty have to chalk her up to the game and keep it moving, but that mouf look good tho.

 

[MikelArteta]

Got the number from this chick on POF. Told her to call if she's interested. She hit me with the "I never make the first call" First of all, you live in NJ, I live in NY and she wants me to come out there. Tolls bytch, but you want to play games. I asked her what kinda rule is that and did she read it in a Steve Harvey book or some shyt? Sounds like she has a funky attitude from her responses. Mighty have to chalk her up to the game and keep it moving, but that mouf look good tho.

keep it moving, dudes talk to a chick and get all invested so quickly while she messaging 50 other dudes, you do the same.

 

[MikelArteta]

guess i could use some advice now as well

went to a concert with the yt teacher a few weeks back. i paid (about $50 for the two of us, not including beer) and had a decent time and all that but i didn't know how to proceed afterwards. her answers to sex oriented questions on okcupid let me know she was dtf...mine were pretty much on the same page

she mentioned she'd been drawn to and dated "aggressive" guys in the past (a marine, boxer, etc). i think my profile listed me as being way more aggressive than the average guy but that shyt is totally not me, i'm pretty passive when it comes to women. and i'm treading even more carefully considering that i'm a black guy trying to fukk a yt gal (don't need no rape charges)

tbh i think she lost interest when i mentioned that i live with my parents (i'm 30 but have a job, car, bachelor's. no kids, criminal record or stds)

so yeah, i've hit her up a couple of times since then, i don't think she wants to be bothered with a breh. kinda tempted to send her a dikk pic and see what happens, not like i have much else to lose

bushes
and dont feel bad, i guarantee if you delete your profile and sign back up in 6 months from now chick will still be on okcupid.

 

[alphaomega]

keep it moving, dudes talk to a chick and get all invested so quickly while she messaging 50 other dudes, you do the same.

Yeah. It's. wrap b4 it even began. Lots of options available not putting up with bs.

 

[MikelArteta]

And never delete, disable your profile bla bla, you'll go out with a broad a few times and she'll drop the hint oh i fianlly deleted my pof/okcupid/tinder account nothing but jerks were on there, basically pointing to what are we anyways. Always keep your profile up and always sign in like you used to, always be a man of options.

 

[brickfare]

My nikka...........lol so how did you proceed after the concert...like what all went down. What was ur approach, and how'd she respond? Be up front, let the Pof Doctor help you, my G

didn't even get the chance to, smh. the show started late and went late, she left around 11 with her having to be at school bright and early the next day. thought about seeing her to her car but i ain't wanna look thirsty/creepy. plus, i'd just dropped coin for a show i was determined to see some more of (check a snarky puppy show if they pass through your city, you won't be disappointed)

i know, brehs, i fukked up going out with a teacher on a monday night

 

[MikelArteta]

Yeah. It's. wrap b4 it even began. Lots of options available not putting up with bs.

more time you waste on one broad ten others are passing you by,