Hate the assumption that quiet men are insecure or shy

[SouthernBelle]

Some people are just extremely introverted and don't care to make meaningless small talk with annoying, loud ass people on a daily basis.

Talking online is preferred because it's not loud. You can find like-minded individuals like yourself and find topics that you actually care about, rather than force yourself to participate in the meaningless crap people say to each other just for the sake of speaking.

Exactly. I ignore a lot of the topics posted on this board and other boards that I frequent. On here I only talk about things I care about. I'm not a man but a lot of people think I'm stuck up when they first meet me because I am reserved (I just like to feel people out).

 

[DaChampIsHere]

Whatever nikka.... I refuse to talk to my cac co-workers discuss the Office and Dr. Who and whatever else lame tv shows and I have nothing in common with the Asian geeks in my classes. Not afraid or bashful of anyone.

If you had the power (ability to lead the conversation), you'd direct the conversation to where you wanted it to go instead of following at the whim of everyone else, or sitting on the side line. That's all it is buddy. Really nothing to debate about.

Answer this question: When you're sitting watching everyone else talk, what's stopping you from leading and directing the conversation to where you want to take it, if the subject matter is the problem?

 

[CJ]

It's funny cause at times I can be the life of the party, but more often than not I just like to chill back and let people run the convo. I'll jump in when I have interest in the topic or have something meaningful to say. Not the type to stir up convo for the sake of it, like chatterboxes that need to talk, just to hear themselves.

But what I do hate is when I'm at a party with random people and there will be that one obnoxious douche-bag that will call me out on same "Mike, you're so quiet, talk man." Motherfukka there's a reason I ain't talking to you.

"It's better to be quiet and *look* stupid, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

 

[Jesus]

If you had the power (ability to lead the conversation), you'd direct the conversation to where you wanted it to go instead of following at the whim of everyone else, or sitting on the side line. That's all it is buddy. Really nothing to debate about.

Answer this question: When you're sitting watching everyone else talk, what's stopping you from leading and directing the conversation to where you want to take it, if the subject matter is the problem?

Currently at work...my manager and co-worker are being investigated for sexual harassment. I don't like to converse with co-workers if I have to...less drama. I have nothing in common with them. No desire to learn about their day.

If they don't seem interesting I don't want to be a fake person and talk about trivial things. Maybe you could label me as anti-social.

 

[re'up]

applies to me in some ways, I am not always quiet, and it's not always insecurity, or shyness when I am, but those two traits are inherent in me.

 

[Toe Jay Simpson]

For a long time I thought that something was wrong with me mentally, cause I just don't have an interest in people like that. But I realized I had no problem talking to customers at work, I had no problem talking to friends and family, and I really have no problem going on the offensive against someone if they disrespect me. But people would always tell me, "you're too this, you need to open up". I realized tho, that the people who had the biggest problems with my personality always were in some drama or in the middle of saying something stupid. Like my reservations were making them subconscious of how obnoxious they really were or whatever flaws they had in them that made them want to be so out in the open. I always say you can't argue with results, and me staying out of the limelight has kept me out of a lot of stuff and keep people from including me in stuff.

 

[CJ]

For a long time I thought that something was wrong with me mentally, cause I just don't have an interest in people like that. But I realized I had no problem talking to customers at work, I had no problem talking to friends and family, and I really have no problem going on the offensive against someone if they disrespect me. But people would always tell me, "you're too this, you need to open up". I realized tho, that the people who had the biggest problems with my personality always were in some drama or in the middle of saying something stupid. Like my reservations were making them subconscious of how obnoxious they really were or whatever flaws they had in them that made them want to be so out in the open. I always say you can't argue with results, and me staying out of the limelight has kept me out of a lot of stuff and keep people from including me in stuff.

QFFT. This is dead on and exactly what I think when I get people calling me out on being "quiet", which I am far from.

 

[jking23258]

I have to agree with this 100%
I am often considered shy around people because I don't talk much or feel like makin myself heard all the damn time.

But I also find it funny when those ppl think you have broken outside of some kind of "shell"
When they see you talkin out or doin something they think is different

I'm not the type of dude that talks for the sake of talkin. I'm not loud or boastful, but when I got something to say them I'm gonna say it.
Shiiet

 

[BAMBINO]

Light a blunt and let yourself go

 

[jking23258]

I'm quiet when I don't feel like talking or I don't like/feel comfortable around the people I'm around. but I talk a lot when I'm around my nikkas or bytches.

 

[Shugg84]

For a long time I thought that something was wrong with me mentally, cause I just don't have an interest in people like that. But I realized I had no problem talking to customers at work, I had no problem talking to friends and family, and I really have no problem going on the offensive against someone if they disrespect me. But people would always tell me, "you're too this, you need to open up". I realized tho, that the people who had the biggest problems with my personality always were in some drama or in the middle of saying something stupid. Like my reservations were making them subconscious of how obnoxious they really were or whatever flaws they had in them that made them want to be so out in the open. I always say you can't argue with results, and me staying out of the limelight has kept me out of a lot of stuff and keep people from including me in stuff.

Beautiful

 

[JoelB]

I'm very chill...but I get more "why you act so cocky?" more than anything else. Maybe its how I engage some and not others...

 

[Classy X]

I think the reason why that assumption is made is because men are expected to be the ones who take charge and make themselves heard no matter what.

So, when you do have a man that is quiet, he is seen as being not manly enough by society.

 

[Ginger]

If you wren't so shy, you'd be less focused on what other people were talking about and how it annoyed you, and more focused on how you can direct and lead the conversation/dialogue yourself with the topics you want rather than passively thinking to yourself.

Nice try.... are you offended that quiet people would rather observe & keep to themselves than speak to you?



You all stay getting offended and calling quiet people stuck up, arrogant, and shy.

Others just don't interest me much Not worth my time.

If you do interest me, then I'll speak to you. If you don't, I just tune you out & ignore you. Don't mean I'm stuck up. You're just not interesting enough for me to put my energy into talking to you.

 

[Shugg84]

Alot of these people at LSU get the quiet treatment...