Has Anyone Else Just Given Up And Lost Hope On Dating/Love?

[Digital Omen]

You know what? It's a human law that we always want what we can't have
I've been married and while my particular one went to shyt, it's still my goal. I wish to marry a woman worthy of being my wife. That's my mentality.
But ever since my divorce all I get is trollops and scalawags. FWBs, situationships, fukk around then ghost, all that dumb shyt
I don't want jumpoffs. I'm good with FWBs. I will be 48 in July and enough is enough. I'm not getting any younger.
I'm not the old man in the club, I'm not on the apps, I'm not tricking at the bar, I'm not a sugar daddy.
In the end all that shyt I just mentioned don't even matter. It's the Chris Rock "shyt you're supposed to do" routine.
I simply don't have the time or inclination or energy to run the streets again. Let the young bucks live just like I did 25 years ago, it's their time.
My time now is supposed to be with the wife, the crib, the approaching 50 every day problems
Instead I'm dolo in a downtown condo box, some ol bachelor pad shyt
I don't want to be the old man tricking or sponsoring youngsters or a passport bro
I just want ONE woman for me and me only and vice versa.
I'm not asking for some outlandish shyt here.
I'm not asking for BBL IG mutants or the OF hoe of the month or the zoomer pawg of the week, none of that shyt. Please keep them.
Tried to get serious with a fellow Gen X (45, also divorced). I was feeling her beyond a fukk and she got on some not feeling me back shyt.
6 months playing house bf/gf then one day "my feelings changed, I'm not feeling you anymore" open and shut. Cold world out here.
It is what it is

 

[The ADD]

You know what? It's a human law that we always want what we can't have
I've been married and while my particular one went to shyt, it's still my goal. I wish to marry a woman worthy of being my wife. That's my mentality.
But ever since my divorce all I get is trollops and scalawags. FWBs, situationships, fukk around then ghost, all that dumb shyt
I don't want jumpoffs. I'm good with FWBs. I will be 48 in July and enough is enough. I'm not getting any younger.
I'm not the old man in the club, I'm not on the apps, I'm not tricking at the bar, I'm not a sugar daddy.
In the end all that shyt I just mentioned don't even matter. It's the Chris Rock "shyt you're supposed to do" routine.
I simply don't have the time or inclination or energy to run the streets again. Let the young bucks live just like I did 25 years ago, it's their time.
My time now is supposed to be with the wife, the crib, the approaching 50 every day problems
Instead I'm dolo in a downtown condo box, some ol bachelor pad shyt
I don't want to be the old man tricking or sponsoring youngsters or a passport bro
I just want ONE woman for me and me only and vice versa.
I'm not asking for some outlandish shyt here.
I'm not asking for BBL IG mutants or the OF hoe of the month or the zoomer pawg of the week, none of that shyt. Please keep them.
Tried to get serious with a fellow Gen X (45, also divorced). I was feeling her beyond a fukk and she got on some not feeling me back shyt.
6 months playing house bf/gf then one day "my feelings changed, I'm not feeling you anymore" open and shut. Cold world out here.
It is what it is

 

[Nokids]

I didn’t get married until I was 38. I was financially ready at 33, but the serious relationship I was in didn’t work out. Neither of us did anything wrong, it just didn’t work. I had some long term FWBs for a few years, and was considering wifing the latest, but there was just something that didn’t feel right. Then COVID hit, and I was here alone with my cats, and felt like a loser. So I said to myself I was going to find a wife as soon as outside opened back up.

BUT, I got the courage to shoot my shot on IG to my high school crush, because I had nothing to lose, and it worked. She said I could have asked her in high school, but most of the guys viewed her as untouchable, because she was quiet, dressed up, and wasn’t allowed out the house. When it’s the right person, things flow easier. It’s still a lot of work, but it doesn’t feel forced if that makes sense. It’s like she’s worth it. Again, nothing was wrong with those other women, it just didn’t feel like they were my wife.

So don’t give up!

Thank you for this bro! Glad to see the Coli fam find love in their late 30s. Already told myself I need a few years to heal because I know I was the problem in most of my relationships

. And about the highschool crush there’s a girl I went to college with that I still think about to this day. She’s still single and fine and I tried to get with her in the dining hall but you remember The Truman show when his fake wife sprained her ankle and fell on Jim Carrey? Yea it happened just like that with another bytch.

I do appreciate this for real man, done with dating apps so this might be the way to go


ETA- I got a cat too and I never knew how much girls like it but also how much don’t. It makes me more cautious who I fukk with because I don’t want a crazy bytch that’ll poison him

 

[ObsidianDev]

Easy to smash but harder to find one you wouldn't wanna dash.

A phone, a car, and your own place = p*ssy in 2025

Only way to lose the game is to give up or go all in on someone who aint right for you. We ain't playing just to win we playing for the love of the game. The pain makes us stronger. Pain is temporary, long dikk style is forever

 

[Dameon Farrow]

I mean it's one thing if a person is petty abd argumentative but if it's to the point of no cooperation and mental illness that's not okay

But breh you can't expect a woman to be June Cleaver 24/7. Women are human. At some point you have to accept that not everyone is going to be perfect all the time. Don't accept crazy, but stop thinking like it's all or nothing, black and white.

This is an old post but it gets at the heart of a lot of problems between sexes. Folks build up this version of other folks in their mind and the first time that other person doesn't fit that bill they chunk deuces. I would blame it on social media but I've been seeing it for literally years.

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

So you want your pet to abandon and eat you?

I have never wanted to, nor will I ever live with a dog.

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

Thank you for this bro! Glad to see the Coli fam find love in their late 30s. Already told myself I need a few years to heal because I know I was the problem in most of my relationships

. And about the highschool crush there’s a girl I went to college with that I still think about to this day. She’s still single and fine and I tried to get with her in the dining hall but you remember The Truman show when his fake wife sprained her ankle and fell on Jim Carrey? Yea it happened just like that with another bytch.

I do appreciate this for real man, done with dating apps so this might be the way to go


ETA- I got a cat too and I never knew how much girls like it but also how much don’t. It makes me more cautious who I fukk with because I don’t want a crazy bytch that’ll poison him

You just have to make sure she likes cats. All relationships require people who live the same lifestyle.

 

[Neuromancer]

I have never wanted to, nor will I ever live with a dog.

Some of us are meant to win.

 

[cyndaquil]

Whats your age and situation breh where you don't have a car and place?

 

[Lieutenant Daniels]

You know what? It's a human law that we always want what we can't have
I've been married and while my particular one went to shyt, it's still my goal. I wish to marry a woman worthy of being my wife. That's my mentality.
But ever since my divorce all I get is trollops and scalawags. FWBs, situationships, fukk around then ghost, all that dumb shyt
I don't want jumpoffs. I'm good with FWBs. I will be 48 in July and enough is enough. I'm not getting any younger.
I'm not the old man in the club, I'm not on the apps, I'm not tricking at the bar, I'm not a sugar daddy.
In the end all that shyt I just mentioned don't even matter. It's the Chris Rock "shyt you're supposed to do" routine.
I simply don't have the time or inclination or energy to run the streets again. Let the young bucks live just like I did 25 years ago, it's their time.
My time now is supposed to be with the wife, the crib, the approaching 50 every day problems
Instead I'm dolo in a downtown condo box, some ol bachelor pad shyt
I don't want to be the old man tricking or sponsoring youngsters or a passport bro
I just want ONE woman for me and me only and vice versa.
I'm not asking for some outlandish shyt here.
I'm not asking for BBL IG mutants or the OF hoe of the month or the zoomer pawg of the week, none of that shyt. Please keep them.
Tried to get serious with a fellow Gen X (45, also divorced). I was feeling her beyond a fukk and she got on some not feeling me back shyt.
6 months playing house bf/gf then one day "my feelings changed, I'm not feeling you anymore" open and shut. Cold world out here.
It is what it is

It’s always the ones you want when things go left.

That’s been my experience as well. It’s typically how it goes. Things will be smooth sailing for several months looking promising until suddenly it’s not. If you’re a one woman man not into the roster those moments hit even harder. Hell I was JUST in the quick gems thread 2 weeks ago talking about a girl I was in a relationship with for the last 4 months. She ended it last Saturday to work on herself, learn how to love herself from unresolved trauma due to the past. And I really liked this girl, saw a future with her, I was 100% in. And by her admission I was the perfect guy for her and treated her very well. Even met her fam. That’s what burns. Relationship ended due to no fault of my own. Shyts whacked.

I’ve learned that I can’t beat myself up over things I can’t control. I can’t control that. That’s her cross to bear. I don’t want to be alone but I’m ok being alone. I turn 41 in June. If I’m alone. So be it. It was written.

All that to say, I’m a hope kinda guy, glass have full. Reading some of the brehs success stories in here from @The ADD and @CreepyMcCreeperson gives me hope that you never know when the right one for you comes into your sphere. And when she does my mind will be right.

Don’t give up hope breh. Nothing in life stays the same.

 

[ObsidianDev]

Whats your age and situation breh where you don't have a car and place?

Late twenties. Been having to support myself and my aging mother with health problems as soon as I graduated high school.

Never got the chance to run off and stay on a university campus to get a bachelors like people usually do. Had to stay home, do community college to get an associates, and work minimum wage jobs instead to keep a roof over both of our heads. Been stuck living at the poverty line since I was a child and lack of money has been a constant dark cloud over my life.

Have never had a real relationship. All of my sexual encounters have been flings that fizzled out quickly once my initial charms wore off.

It always goes one of two ways for me: I either get "lucky" and meet a woman who temporarily looks past my current position in life for about a month before she eventually "comes to her senses", realizes my situation, and stops talking to me.

Or, I manage to get a woman's interest, but as soon as I drop the bomb to her about me not having a car or my own place, she goes ghost without me getting a chance to see her after getting her number.

In the latter case, they usually pretend to understand and empathize with my situation when I explain how hard my life has been and how I've had to be "the man of the house" since 18 and they'll give me some generic praise about being "a good man" or "mature", or some shyt. But after that night she'll ghost me.

It doesn't matter if I had a hard life but in spite of that I still managed to "do the right thing", work various (although minimum wage) jobs and be praised by all of my managers for having good work ethic, have managed to avoid the traps that so many young Black men from similar upbringings like mine typically fall into (getting random chicks pregnant, having a criminal record, getting caught up in street shyt, etc.), and have spent the past 10 years taking on the responsibility of making sure that both myself and the only real family member that I have are able to survive.

With me not having a car or my own place, no woman has ever taken me seriously, or legit fallen for me.

"No car" plus "no place of my own" has equaled "zero fukks given" for me in the dating world.

 

[cyndaquil]

Late twenties. Been having to support myself and my aging mother with health problems as soon as I graduated high school.

Never got the chance to run off and stay on a university campus to get a bachelors like people usually do. Had to stay home, do community college to get an associates, and work minimum wage jobs instead to keep a roof over both of our heads. Been stuck living at the poverty line since I was a child and lack of money has been a constant dark cloud over my life.

Have never had a real relationship. All of my sexual encounters have been flings that fizzled out quickly once my initial charms wore off.

It always goes one of two ways for me: I either get "lucky" and meet a woman who temporarily looks past my current position in life for about a month before she eventually "comes to her senses", realizes my situation, and stops talking to me.

Or, I manage to get a woman's interest, but as soon as I drop the bomb to her about me not having a car or my own place, she goes ghost without me getting a chance to see her after getting her number.

In the latter case, they usually pretend to understand and empathize with my situation when I explain how hard my life has been and how I've had to be "the man of the house" since 18 and they'll give me some generic praise about being "a good man" or "mature", or some shyt. But after that night she'll ghost me.

It doesn't matter if I had a hard life but in spite of that I still managed to "do the right thing", work various (although minimum wage) jobs and be praised by all of my managers for having good work ethic, have managed to avoid the traps that so many young Black men from similar upbringings like mine typically fall into (getting random chicks pregnant, having a criminal record, getting caught up in street shyt, etc.), and have spent the past 10 years taking on the responsibility of making sure that both myself and the only real family member that I have are able to survive.

With me not having a car or my own place, no woman has ever taken me seriously, or legit fallen for me.

"No car" plus "no place of my own" has equaled "zero fukks given" for me in the dating world.

You a real one
All I read there was real man shyt.
Somebody getting it out the mud.
You're still young tho. All you need is a plan so what's your plan moving forward?
Do you have upward mobility at your job? Do you have a plan to save up for a car and improve your financials?
I know you gotta take care of your mom but a lot of women can be understanding when it comes to that. Especially if you're able to have female company over and she doesn't interfere. Plus any women who rejecting you over that saving you trouble in the long run because your mom is a big part of your life

 

[Digital Omen]

It’s always the ones you want when things go left.

That’s been my experience as well. It’s typically how it goes. Things will be smooth sailing for several months looking promising until suddenly it’s not. If you’re a one woman man not into the roster those moments hit even harder. Hell I was JUST in the quick gems thread 2 weeks ago talking about a girl I was in a relationship with for the last 4 months. She ended it last Saturday to work on herself, learn how to love herself from unresolved trauma due to the past. And I really liked this girl, saw a future with her, I was 100% in. And by her admission I was the perfect guy for her and treated her very well. Even met her fam. That’s what burns. Relationship ended due to no fault of my own. Shyts whacked.

I’ve learned that I can’t beat myself up over things I can’t control. I can’t control that. That’s her cross to bear. I don’t want to be alone but I’m ok being alone. I turn 41 in June. If I’m alone. So be it. It was written.

All that to say, I’m a hope kinda guy, glass have full. Reading some of the brehs success stories in here from @The ADD and @CreepyMcCreeperson gives me hope that you never know when the right one for you comes into your sphere. And when she does my mind will be right.

Don’t give up hope breh. Nothing in life stays the same.

Agreed, this is all in the game. I've been here before, the ol bus stop: she leaves, another one will arrive when it's time
And of course like fukking clockwork
I posted yesterday
Why did I go on IG today and there's a DM from my ex GF?
We haven't communicated for months, out of sight out of mind right?
"I'm sorry things didn't work out, you're great, you're the GOAT, I apologize for my part, bla bla bla..."
clearly I'm not that great to you if you broke up with me
Anyway I feel no pettiness or ill will towards her, I replied in kind "no need to apologize best of luck in all your future endeavors"
It is what it is

 

[O³ (O cubed)]

Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy the company of women, but as I gotten older I realized that the juice isn't worth the squeeze. I'd rather be alone and happy than be with somebody with unresolved issues.

How old are you?

Mid 40s. Most women I meet in my age group are mothers and grandmothers.

 

[The ADD]

Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy the company of women, but as I gotten older I realized that the juice isn't worth the squeeze. I'd rather be alone and happy than be with somebody with unresolved issues.

Mid 40s. Most women I meet in my age group are mothers and grandmothers.

Oy