Has Anyone Else Just Given Up And Lost Hope On Dating/Love?

[Rick Fox at UNC]

Late twenties. Been having to support myself and my aging mother with health problems as soon as I graduated high school.

Never got the chance to run off and stay on a university campus to get a bachelors like people usually do. Had to stay home, do community college to get an associates, and work minimum wage jobs instead to keep a roof over both of our heads. Been stuck living at the poverty line since I was a child and lack of money has been a constant dark cloud over my life.

Have never had a real relationship. All of my sexual encounters have been flings that fizzled out quickly once my initial charms wore off.

It always goes one of two ways for me: I either get "lucky" and meet a woman who temporarily looks past my current position in life for about a month before she eventually "comes to her senses", realizes my situation, and stops talking to me.

Or, I manage to get a woman's interest, but as soon as I drop the bomb to her about me not having a car or my own place, she goes ghost without me getting a chance to see her after getting her number.

In the latter case, they usually pretend to understand and empathize with my situation when I explain how hard my life has been and how I've had to be "the man of the house" since 18 and they'll give me some generic praise about being "a good man" or "mature", or some shyt. But after that night she'll ghost me.

It doesn't matter if I had a hard life but in spite of that I still managed to "do the right thing", work various (although minimum wage) jobs and be praised by all of my managers for having good work ethic, have managed to avoid the traps that so many young Black men from similar upbringings like mine typically fall into (getting random chicks pregnant, having a criminal record, getting caught up in street shyt, etc.), and have spent the past 10 years taking on the responsibility of making sure that both myself and the only real family member that I have are able to survive.

With me not having a car or my own place, no woman has ever taken me seriously, or legit fallen for me.

"No car" plus "no place of my own" has equaled "zero fukks given" for me in the dating world.

I don't want this to come across any way, but if I'm looking to date a chick and she comes at me with these types of stories, I'm out. It sounds like you need to speak to a therapist and get over the need for validation. No one cares about "how hard your life has been." It's not anyone's job to take on your burdens in that way.

When women start discussing everything that happened to them and all this and that, my thought is almost always, "I'm not a therapist, I'm not looking to validate you, this is too much for me to take on."

In general, people tend to be emotionally unhealthy and want to put that on whoever they're with.

Not trying to be mean, being honest.

Hang out, have fun. No one cares about your story, they are looking for someone to create a story of their own with.

Like, I'm not looking for someone to walk on egg shells around, I don't want to hear your sad stories, I'm looking for happy warriors to go through life with.

 

[trap101-ETHout-Allegri-In]

I don't want this to come across any way, but if I'm looking to date a chick and she comes at me with these types of stories, I'm out. It sounds like you need to speak to a therapist and get over the need for validation. No one cares about "how hard your life has been." It's not anyone's job to take on your burdens in that way.

When women start discussing everything that happened to them and all this and that, my thought is almost always, "I'm not a therapist, I'm not looking to validate you, this is too much for me to take on."

In general, people tend to be emotionally unhealthy and want to put that on whoever they're with.

Not trying to be mean, being honest.

Hang out, have fun. No one cares about your story, they are looking for someone to create a story of their own with.

Like, I'm not looking for someone to walk on egg shells around, I don't want to hear your sad stories, I'm looking for happy warriors to go through life with.

Harsh.... but real talk

 

[Rick Fox at UNC]

It's funny, 40, 41 in a couple months, feeling more comfortable than ever.

Able to sit down and write out exactly what I'm looking for and have the legitimate confidence to go after it and believe in it. Nothing false, nothing fake.

I truly want to the best for others and for myself. Have proven to myself I can do anything I set my mind to. Have proven to myself that I belong. It's crazy.

 

[Rick Fox at UNC]

Harsh.... but real talk

Best relationships tend to be two healthy (emotionally and physically) people who have a genuine desire to move forward with each other. If something is lacking, get it fixed.

 

[maxamusa]

delete

 

[Kuma the Bear]

Do you feel like it’s worth faking or would you rather be on your own?

I'd rather be alone than fake it.

It wouldn't be fair on me or her if I'm not 100% in the relationship.

 

[DaHNIC82]

I don't want this to come across any way, but if I'm looking to date a chick and she comes at me with these types of stories, I'm out. It sounds like you need to speak to a therapist and get over the need for validation. No one cares about "how hard your life has been." It's not anyone's job to take on your burdens in that way.

When women start discussing everything that happened to them and all this and that, my thought is almost always, "I'm not a therapist, I'm not looking to validate you, this is too much for me to take on."

In general, people tend to be emotionally unhealthy and want to put that on whoever they're with.

Not trying to be mean, being honest.

Hang out, have fun. No one cares about your story, they are looking for someone to create a story of their own with.

Like, I'm not looking for someone to walk on egg shells around, I don't want to hear your sad stories, I'm looking for happy warriors to go through life with.

Alot of these same women are also wiring money to their locked up baby daddies and in some cases fighting other women over nikkas locked up. He letting his situation dictate his process which is why he's messing up.

Even when I had it it never stopped me, Lost it.. it never stopped me. He should just find women whom is with his program.