Has Anyone Else Just Given Up And Lost Hope On Dating/Love?

[old_timer]

With my first wife (rip) , in my mid-30s,,
I probably spent more time swimming and cycling
More time with groups (if you combined my fraternal org with toastmasters)
Maybe even more time reading (non work ) , if you combinr personal development with finance/current events and reading for pleasure
..than I spent "socializing" with her

the point I am trying to make is a rebuttal to these "I'm gonna focus on me/money/fitness/etc" claims
..like.. what was the holdup??
I was pushing myself while happily married
And you cats are long term single and have to swear off women before starting to better yourself??

I am not trying to criticize,, but it begs the question if this is truly a societal epidemic or actually morr of a personal problem??

You can get in a woman's pants with sex appeal and charm..
That's light

But to get a quality woman to commit her life to you, she's got to be 100% convinced you go hard
If you don't even go hard for yourself, how are you possibly going to go hard for the marriage
esp. when the chips are down

Physically Michael Jordan and Sam Perkins had similar levels of basketball skill
In some ways, Perkins might even get the nod for greater potential
But Jordan went hard and Perkins was.. laid-back?? Workmanlike??
I mean, Perkins had a solid career but did he ever stand out??

 

[raul04]

Glad I'm not the only one in this situation. I feel I never will find that "one". I hate that saying everyone gives me "there's someone out there for everyone" bullshyt

 

[Mirin4rmfar]

Meh, I have taking a step back on the dating scene to focus on my career. Once I reach my goal, I am jumping back in. I just feel like I can't focus on getting the things I want when I have a woman wanting to communicate every night.

Last four girls I dated, Haitian, attractive, posts hella hoeish pictures on the gram for attention. Can't take her serious.

Nurse, she was nice but too old, she is going 32. We went out when I had just move to ATL, she ghosted me, I sent her message on fb one day, we started talking than she left me on read...lol one day she hits me up on fb...we kicked it a couple of times, then I ghosted her.

Attractive short girl, 5'0", good looking but lacking in intelligence. Got a DUI on her record yet still out drinking and getting wasted. She showed all sign of an alcoholic. Also bad financial decisions.I can tell she is one of the types of women that would make me go broke.


Crazy girl who I am friends with now. This girl cussed me out three weeks straight on things she think I was doing . I jumped shipped quickly. I remember asking her how she knows a mutual acquaintances. "Do you fukking like her". "I will never speak to you again" blah blah blah....I couldn't imagine coming home to her . So now we just friends. I know she wants me but I want no parts of a nagging woman.

Jamaican girl, things were going great, I got dropped . I had full intentions on making my serious girlfriend.


I'ts hard to meet what I want. Successful, non religious, no kids and that's in decent shape.

 

[BaldingSoHard]

With my first wife (rip) , in my mid-30s,,
I probably spent more time swimming and cycling
More time with groups (if you combined my fraternal org with toastmasters)
Maybe even more time reading (non work ) , if you combinr personal development with finance/current events and reading for pleasure
..than I spent "socializing" with her

the point I am trying to make is a rebuttal to these "I'm gonna focus on me/money/fitness/etc" claims
..like.. what was the holdup??
I was pushing myself while happily married
And you cats are long term single and have to swear off women before starting to better yourself??

I am not trying to criticize,, but it begs the question if this is truly a societal epidemic or actually morr of a personal problem??

You can get in a woman's pants with sex appeal and charm..
That's light

But to get a quality woman to commit her life to you, she's got to be 100% convinced you go hard
If you don't even go hard for yourself, how are you possibly going to go hard for the marriage
esp. when the chips are down

Physically Michael Jordan and Sam Perkins had similar levels of basketball skill
In some ways, Perkins might even get the nod for greater potential
But Jordan went hard and Perkins was.. laid-back?? Workmanlike??
I mean, Perkins had a solid career but did he ever stand out??

Sometimes the coli is full of shyt.

And sometimes, it drops legit gems.

Would rep if I could.

 

[winb83]

I agree brother. Thank you for understanding where I'm coming from. That's all I was saying. When trying to date at a certain age, it's hard to find an equal match. I'm an educated, professional Black man. I need a woman who I can relate to and who is somewhat on my level. Someone who is mature and has her stuff together, mentally and financially. Someone who is not bitter, argumentative, or emotionally scarred. That's ALL the premise of the OP is/was.

Ypu have bitter bytches in here who see too much of themselves in my original post. You also have bytch nikkaz in here trying to cater and relate to the aforementioned bitter bytches. A real nikkaz gonna recognize a real nikka every single time. I appreciate everyone who has contributed their experiences and contributed positively to this thread. I have really gained some valuable information and new perspective from your takes. That's why I love this site. It's very therapeutic. Thanks breh

I'm not even bitter about what happened but I started trying to fix broken women and let me tell you when another person is broken don't ever be arrogant enough to think you can fix them.

People are ultimately comfortable where they're at and when they aren't they move heaven and warmth to better themselves.

I stepped into some fukked up women's lives and tried to help them get to a better place and they basically just treaded water where they were.

I was in my mid to late 20s. I'm talking chicks that was still living with moms working a dead in job type shyt. I let one chick move in my crib and drive my other car and she destroyed it in an accident and let some cats into my place and they stole everything then she tries to ask me for some insurance money.

If you can't meet a woman that's at the level you prefer don't bother.

 

[AquaCityBoy]

Yup in the same place as op (I'm 39).

I'm not even considering dating or anything ever in life again. I realise that I dont have a "fit" for me. I'm never any womans "type" so I just figure its gods way of saying I suck and shouldn't have been born.

 

[Behind-the-wheel]

You may be on to something breh. My uncle always told me ugly women treat you well. Pretty women are too much high maintenance/headache. Can't see myself with a super ugly woman , but she doesn't have to be prime Beyonce fine. Just don't look like the damn crypt keeper. Smh. At this point, that superficial shyt is mostly secondary. I just want a chill, thoughtful, non argumentative, easy going woman to spend my time with. Doesn't make much to make me happy...

What do you think of her? (flipbook below...)
She's an accomplished photographer with her own studio and business, college graduate, one kid in the army, successful and goal focused, doesn't take any bullcrap but doesn't give it either, laid back and sweet but firm, not a dime but cleans up VERY well...

 

[Dave24]

Yet another female got thrown into the bushes tonight. At this point I can almost predict the outcome with these women.

They all start off nice, sweet, and promising that they're "different" than the other women out there.

Then, like clockwork, their true selves emerge. When they get comfortable, upset, or tired of faking nice, they start showing how petty, argumentative, flaky, etc. they can truly be.

I'm 38 and getting. I'm becoming jaded and cynical when it comes to females. I'm sure there are good women out there, somewhere. But what are my chances of meeting them??

I think I'm gonna focus on my health and raising my daughter. This may be it for me brehs. I've had a good run

@DatLBCGuy562 do you still feel the same way as you did when you first posted this?

 

[Peruvian Connect]

Yes and no. It's too stressful. I want to find someone to love me for me, but I can't deal with the bullshiit these woman be on.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

Sam Perkins analogy was dope

 

[BaileyPark31]

I'm really concentrated on myself and my immediate family right now. But imma try a lil harder for romance or at least being more social in 2025.

 

[Mirin4rmfar]

Meh, I have taking a step back on the dating scene to focus on my career. Once I reach my goal, I am jumping back in. I just feel like I can't focus on getting the things I want when I have a woman wanting to communicate every night.

Last four girls I dated, Haitian, attractive, posts hella hoeish pictures on the gram for attention. Can't take her serious.

Nurse, she was nice but too old, she is going 32. We went out when I had just move to ATL, she ghosted me, I sent her message on fb one day, we started talking than she left me on read...lol one day she hits me up on fb...we kicked it a couple of times, then I ghosted her.

Attractive short girl, 5'0", good looking but lacking in intelligence. Got a DUI on her record yet still out drinking and getting wasted. She showed all sign of an alcoholic. Also bad financial decisions.I can tell she is one of the types of women that would make me go broke.


Crazy girl who I am friends with now. This girl cussed me out three weeks straight on things she think I was doing . I jumped shipped quickly. I remember asking her how she knows a mutual acquaintances. "Do you fukking like her". "I will never speak to you again" blah blah blah....I couldn't imagine coming home to her . So now we just friends. I know she wants me but I want no parts of a nagging woman.

Jamaican girl, things were going great, I got dropped . I had full intentions on making my serious girlfriend.


I'ts hard to meet what I want. Successful, non religious, no kids and that's in decent shape.

Damn, that was seven years ago the following year, I ended up hitting six figures in my career

Nurse has gotten married two kids, pretty sure she is divorced now. I looked her up on facebook, no sign of the guy, and base on my google search, they no longer live in the same house. She still a quality woman though

Haitian girl has gotten married last time I looked her up

Crazy friend, is even more batshyt crazy till this day lol

I have been trying to find the Jamaican girl but can't, she was truly my type, 100 percent

Life is flying by man, this is insane

 

[TheKongoEmpire]

Given up? No. Apathetic?

 

[TheKongoEmpire]

But imma try a lil harder for romance or at least being more social in 2025.

Great. More work to do.

 

[OGBobbyJohnson]

Given up? No. Apathetic?