Happily Married Men of The Coli: Why Did You Get Married?

[MeachTheMonster]

.....hate to break it to you...no man is happily married.... Reason being you have no time to enjoy the happiness.... Marriage is work...a whole lot of work... You can't just dip back to your crib when y'all have disagreements...you have to go home..... In marriage your love and bond is going to be continuously tested...you can't enjoy the fruits of your labor if you know a battle is always on the horizon..you can never get comfortable because of the amount of responsibility you have...bills, children, making time for each other...not to mention the randomness life loves to throw at you...sometimes one partner is stronger than other for a particular period of time...sometimes your woman might have to lead when your weak...then there will be times you carrying the load 100%….She might not feel like having sex not because she cheating , because she's drained, she work like you work....most dudes aren't mature enough to actually look at a woman like a person....if you been yelling bytches ain't shyt since you a teenager your gonna take mentality into your marriage...its ingrained in you....with all that being said the bond you have with your wife will only be strong after its been tested time and time again....look at it like a car...they don't just put a car on the road when they make the prototype... They run it thru a gauntlet of test for durability, safety etc....marriage is no different..

You married breh?

 

[King Jae]

You married breh?

Yea on the rocks tho...learned all this thru fukkin up tremendously thru the course of it....still work in on shaking the ho out me tho...in counseling now....see a pretty face and phat ass instinct kicks in automatically... Sad part is women don't care...they see a nikka that another woman thought was good enuff so I'm good enuff for them too..far from perfect marriage...

 

[Bless't]

http://www.thecoli.com/media/users/amethyst.11768/

Error.

What was it?

 

[MeachTheMonster]

Yea on the rocks tho...learned all this thru fukkin up tremendously thru the course of it....still work in on shaking the ho out me tho...in counseling now....see a pretty face and phat ass instinct kicks in automatically... Sad part is women don't care...they see a nikka that another woman thought was good enuff so I'm good enuff for them too..far from perfect marriage...

No offense, but a failed marriage isn't a testement to all marriages.

You seem to have decided not to be happy. No matter what she has done or has not done if you are telling yourself "it's impossible to be happily married" then your marriage won't be happy.

 

[King Jae]

No offense, but a failed marriage isn't a testement to all marriages.

You seem to have decided not to be happy. No matter what she has done or has not done if you are telling yourself "it's impossible to be happily married" then your marriage won't be happy.

It ain't failed... We ain't divorce yet.....I'm not saying I can't be happily married...I'm saying you rarely have time to enjoy it especially in the beginning stages...a baby is born followed by at least 2 years of postpartum depression.... That takes a toll on a man....divorce is failure....at least in my eyes...as a man you constantly have to do all the heavy lifting because that's your job...you have to be strong for everyone else while she gets to complain its my job to figure out the solution and take the full blame if it doesn't work...its just my opinion never said it was right...how can you enjoy happiness if you never have time sit back and reflect...its like that saying where an artist never gets to reflect or appreciate what he just did marriage is the same..I'm in my 30s these are the heavy lifting years so I can sit back and reflect in my 40s and beyond....

 

[MeachTheMonster]

It ain't failed... We ain't divorce yet.....I'm not saying I can't be happily married...I'm saying you rarely have time to enjoy it especially in the beginning stages...a baby is born followed by at least 2 years of postpartum depression.... That takes a toll on a man....divorce is failure....at least in my eyes...as a man you constantly have to do all the heavy lifting because that's your job...you have to be strong for everyone else while she gets to complain its my job to figure out the solution and take the full blame if it doesn't work...its just my opinion never said it was right...how can you enjoy happiness if you never have time sit back and reflect...its like that saying where an artist never gets to reflect or appreciate what he just did marriage is the same..I'm in my 30s these are the heavy lifting years so I can sit back and reflect in my 40s and beyond....

Ok a "troubled marriage"

I'm just saying you have a very cynical attitude about the whole thing.

I don't know what/how your lifestyle is but you absolutely HAVE to find time for happiness. If you feel you have no time for it then you must make some changes in your life. Even with a newborn. I have a 4 month old now and i still make sure both me and my wife have plenty of time for reflection and enjoyment. And it is not your job to bear all the hardship alone. Thats why you have a partner.

You honestly sound a bit depressed. You gotta fix yourself before you can fix your marriage.

 

[King Jae]

Ok a "troubled marriage"

I'm just saying you have a very cynical attitude about the whole thing.

I don't know what/how your lifestyle is but you absolutely HAVE to find time for happiness. If you feel you have no time for it then you must make some changes in your life. Even with a newborn. I have a 4 month old now and i still make sure both me and my wife have plenty of time for reflection and enjoyment. And it is not your job to bear all the hardship alone. Thats why you have a partner.

You honestly sound a bit depressed. You gotta fix yourself before you can fix your marriage.

Far from depressed....actually happier than I been in a long time....I'm glad your situation is cool...that's not everyone's marriage.... My experience is the people cynical and sarcastic often have the marriages that stand the test of time because there is no facade and they are extremely realistic....talk to an old married man if you think I'm cynical...I'm tame compared to them... Prolly know my wife better than her own mother and my worst day....I'm a realist...not gonna fake like something I'm not....ppl that you see all extra about their relationship are the ppl putting on a facade from my experience.... I'm just one person.... Not the sum of all human existence....

 

[#SOG_soldier]

We were good friends and she wasn't a hoe so why not? :gang:

 

[MeachTheMonster]

Far from depressed....actually happier than I been in a long time....I'm glad your situation is cool...that's not everyone's marriage.... My experience is the people cynical and sarcastic often have the marriages that stand the test of time because there is no facade and they are extremely realistic....talk to an old married man if you think I'm cynical...I'm tame compared to them... Prolly know my wife better than her own mother and my worst day....I'm a realist...not gonna fake like something I'm not....ppl that you see all extra about their relationship are the ppl putting on a facade from my experience.... I'm just one person.... Not the sum of all human existence....

Saying stuff like "how can I be happy when........" Is a sign of depression.

I've had two family members struggle with depression and that's literally the first thing they say when you try to talk to them about feeling better. It's an admission that you won't be happy regardless of what happens. And that's not a good place to be in when sharing your life with someone else.

Good luck on everything breh. I truly hope yall can get it right

 

[Hijo de luna]

My response depends on whether or not she cooks tonight

 

[Gimini00]

Honestly, I married my wife because I feel good and comfortable with her. We met at college and she became pregnant, so we got married, I thought I could benefit from her life cause i was broke and she was comfortable financially. When it comes down to specifics I have no f* idea why I married my wife, she wanted to marry me, and i was attracted to her, p*ssy was good, i was comfortable, and she give me no headache, so why not

 

[King Jae]

Saying stuff like "how can I be happy when........" Is a sign of depression.

I've had two family members struggle with depression and that's literally the first thing they say when you try to talk to them about feeling better. It's an admission that you won't be happy regardless of what happens. And that's not a good place to be in when sharing your life with someone else.

Good luck on everything breh. I truly hope yall can get it right

if you say so...my father suffers from bipolar and ptsd....I know what depression looks like...thats how I know I'm not depressed..... Wait til your marriage has been tested to its brink...you will see why I sound the way I do...you sound like your bond hasn't been pushed to the limit yet... You are still happy from the baby being born... You will always love your child but that happiness is fleeting simply because its an emotion that can be changed by external forces... A year two years you hit a rough patch remember this happiness you have because its going to take a lot to stay dedicated....

 

[MeachTheMonster]

if you say so...my father suffers from bipolar and ptsd....I know what depression looks like...thats how I know I'm not depressed..... Wait til your marriage has been tested to its brink...you will see why I sound the way I do...you sound like your bond hasn't been pushed to the limit yet... You are still happy from the baby being born... You will always love your child but that happiness is fleeting simply because its an emotion that can be changed by external forces... A year two years you hit a rough patch remember this happiness you have because its going to take a lot to stay dedicated....

Nah this is our third kid. Believe me, we have been tested.

You control your own happiness. If you aren't happy, then you need to change something.

 

[Mike Ock]

if you say so...my father suffers from bipolar and ptsd....I know what depression looks like...thats how I know I'm not depressed..... Wait til your marriage has been tested to its brink...you will see why I sound the way I do...you sound like your bond hasn't been pushed to the limit yet... You are still happy from the baby being born... You will always love your child but that happiness is fleeting simply because its an emotion that can be changed by external forces... A year two years you hit a rough patch remember this happiness you have because its going to take a lot to stay dedicated....

How old were you when y'all got married?

 

[King Jae]

Nah this is our third kid. Believe me, we have been tested.

You control your own happiness. If you aren't happy, then you need to change something.

I appreciate your input... You can actually hold a conversation without it turning into a pissing match unlike most people on here...Salute king