Getting a Divorce Brehs...

[Atsym Sknyfs]

@Ziggiy
I stopped reading on page 7.. will read more later...

Now I've been married 15 years and my wife DOES sometimes shyt on my dreams or ideas... but usually it changes...

Now Im assuming your wife said that because she was scared ... this economy is crazy. I dont know where you live but here in NYC .. 2 incomes @ 75k each aint enough in some areas.
She was afraid.. Now i dont know what an employee of BB makes and I bet whe didnt either... The stereotype is that retail jobs dont pay well. look at the news Wendy's McDonalds, Walmart, etc...
With that said thats my believe what happened. It didnt mean she didnt support your dream but at face value it sounded like a lost cause.. but you should have sat her down and explained that. She doesnt know what your drive is, you just got back from Afgan.. she was afraid you would end up like some Dead Presidents stuff..

I'm not trynna convince you to stay. your happiness matters and your mind is made up... I'm just throwing another married man's opinion out there.
Getting mad and gettign divorced is the norm today and that sucks and devalues marraige. You been married 2 years... honestly, thats nothing. You cant talk until you cross 5

 

[Arianne Martell]

@Ziggiy
I stopped reading on page 7.. will read more later...

Now I've been married 15 years and my wife DOES sometimes shyt on my dreams or ideas... but usually it changes...

Now Im assuming your wife said that because she was scared ... this economy is crazy. I dont know where you live but here in NYC .. 2 incomes @ 75k each aint enough in some areas.
She was afraid.. Now i dont know what an employee of BB makes and I bet whe didnt either... The stereotype is that retail jobs dont pay well. look at the news Wendy's McDonalds, Walmart, etc...
With that said thats my believe what happened. It didnt mean she didnt support your dream but at face value it sounded like a lose cause.. but you should have sat her down and explained that. She doesnt know what your drive is, you just got back from Afgan.. she was afraid you would end up like some Dead Presidents stuff..

I'm not trynna convince you to stay. your happiness matters and your mind is made up... I'm just throwing another married man's opinion out there.
Getting mad and gettign divorced is the norm today and that sucks and devalues marraige. You been married 2 years... honestly, thats nothing. You cant talk until you cross 5

He claims to have done this move before and she was there for him so it shouldn't be any different this time around (before the marriage and they have been together for ten years before marriage)

from Army to BB is a major downgrade benefits, status, free housing (depending which base you are sent to), retirement, job security (at BB you could look at someone the wrong way and get fired in a blink of an eye versus Army, you have to do some real fukked up shyt to get kicked out)


I am still trying to find any logical reason for this move and like someone stated above it looks like he just have commitment issues.

 

[Atsym Sknyfs]

He claims to have done this move before and she was there for him so it shouldn't be any different this time around (before the marriage and they have been together for ten years before marriage)

from Army to BB is a major downgrade benefits, status, free housing (depending which base you are sent to), retirement, job security (at BB you could look at someone the wrong way and get fired in a blink of an eye versus Army, you have to do some real fukked up shyt to get kicked out)


I am still trying to find any logical reason for this move and like someone stated above it looks like he just have commitment issues.

Sitting her down 6 years ago is not the same... I'm married... and I go through it .. just because she understood or accepted it yesterday it doesnt mean she gets it today ... that's what marriage is ...

She accepted it at 22 .. and at 35 she wont... It's called growing and changing...

 

[Ohene]

i'm torn at this subject both as a member of the HOH movement but also as a member of the emotionless fraternity

Girls definitely have a way of pushing a man's buttons and shytting on us in a way that will have us vindictive as hell so I can understand where he's coming from but like many other posters have implied it does seem a little bit frivolous/menial. It's a tough one but it ultimately comes down to the individual. Once you feel emasculated/disrespected theres no turning back. If I was @Ziggly i'd probably even question her faithfulness while I was in the force

 

[Ohene]

I'm not even mad about dude divorcing his wife. If the b#tch deserves to be fired, then she deserves to be fired. I think dudes tend to be alittle too lenient on women in general with the disrespect and outta pocket behavior....especially black men. N#ggas allow too many octaves in the vocal chords of the women they deal with.

Yes, respect is everything....everything. Yes, the principle is more than the procedure. And with that being said, I can understand why dude felt some way about his wife questioning him after years of benefitting from his hard work. Yea, that would've gave me pause too.

But I could also understand her POV. I mean, how many part-time sales associates become managers in less than 6 months? Why would a man in his mid-20s want to work at Best Buy? What if the plan doesn't work out so smoothly and/or so quickly? With all of your experience, why not try something besides retail?

And I also get OP's POV. He was working in retail when he met her. He's always been self-sufficient. He's always had a place, a car and money to do nice things with her. He's proven over many years that he knows how to handle life and take care of him and her. It was never a problem until now, so what's the issue?

But I don't think she intended that statement with malice. Moreso, surprised that Best Buy was the first choice, her first reaction was not her best reaction. And that caused bro to feel disrespected and emasculated. That's understandable.

I just think OP should have maybe chastised her a bit. Put her under some mental and emotional pressure. Put some fire under her feet, so she knows she was wrong and gave her the notion that she can be replaced if needed. Sounds like she got alittle pumpkinheaded over the years.

Maybe give her a harsh verbal retort and had her sleep in the guest room for alittle bit. Maybe instructed her to stay with her parents for a bit until she got her mind right. Maybe confiscated the joint the credit/debit card and changed the locks. Maybe file for separation and then let her see him with a new chick enjoying his newfound money as a manager at Best Buy with the next chick....preferably younger and prettier if possible.

Just until she started to realize how serious he was and then started begging for reinstatement. Maybe she needed a mental refresher.

But dude went from 0 to 10 and filed that paperwork. I can't be mad at homie....he pulled her card. Sometimes chicks need that card pulled.

But divorce seems to be alot for this one.

Peace

10/10 post.

 

[Ohene]

Okay so I just read this whole thread and if I wasn't familiar with the OP I would have assumed this is a troll thread. This must be the single worst reason I've heard a person has ever gotten divorced, ever. Seriously, and I've heard some dumb reasons in my time.

LOL at you getting divorced over this. I remember when my fiance wanted to go and study anthropology and I told her it was a 'mickey mouse' degree which wouldn't amount to much. Man, some of my advice has made my fiance cry before, but I fukking mean well and I want her to reach her highest potential. She has also given me some etherous feedback on my life decisions and do you know what ? I like that. My fiance is the ONLY person in my life who isn't scared to give me 100% honest feedback no matter how I react. She always tells me 'I might not have the best delivery but I'm looking out for you'. It's a bit like when your mother says 'take that shirt off you look like a tramp'. She isn't insulting you, she means well. I always judge advice by intent, not delivery as some of the best advice won't be said 'nicely'. Your rationale is absolutely ridiculous.

It sounds to me as though you are just not in love with her and that's fine. It is what it is. The dialogue you just listed as to why you're divorcing her is a cop out and makes little sense. You were young, made a mistake and don't want her anymore. Cool

But that excuse is garbage breh and you know it.

Only people making sense in this thread is @Ill Clinton @Poitier and @feelosofer

you and your fiancee is exactly the way i am

yall gon make it...yall had that african marriage exhibit right in front of you and know how its done

 

[twan83]

i wake up and read bout half this thread and just stop shyt dont make no damn sense

u getting a divorce cuz of what she said

if u dont love her thats fine dont say it cuz she said some ignorant shyt or it came out wrong on her part
maybe she just thinks of u doing better for urself and thats not bad either

if u love working at best buy thats fine too

i tell u what when my wife say some stupid shyt i tell her sit her ass down and go somewhere else with that shyt i aint tolerating that shyt and i just go bout my business and give her the silent treatment i dont divorce her cuz of it

no wonder damn divorce rate so high people give up too damn easy

hey i aint choosing sides but if their is more to the story say so not cuz she disrespect me and hurt my feelings shyt
man if she said i cheated on u then ya i get it not cuz she hurt ur ego or pride tell her go somewhere else with that shyt and say imma work at best buy whether u like it or not or something
not well guess what cuz u said that I'm not in love with u no more and i want a divorce

just sounds like u fell out of love long time ago and just needed a reason to leave or u get angry too easy and want to walk away on some high school shyt

people make mistakes and u work thru them together as a husband and wife if u can't work thru this i dont see no woman staying with u if it just takes them to set u off that easily and that is a lonely life breh

 

[Theraflu]

you and your fiancee is exactly the way i am

yall gon make it...yall had that african marriage exhibit right in front of you and know how its done

Breh, if anyone has had a big mouth Ghanian or Nigerian mother you'll quickly be able to tell when a woman is telling you shyt out of love vs out of spite. My mum can happily tell me to my face 'that shirt is trampish take it off!' without a single fukk given.

This is life man. It ain't always what you wanna hear but they mean well tbh.

 

[Atsym Sknyfs]

@Ziggiy

Is your father around... If you saw an example of a marriage you would see these things blow over and get worked out..

This is a product of the everybody gets a trophy, everything is PC society .... You know its easier to get Divorced than married ... SMH

 

[Ziggiy]

http://www.cnet.com/news/best-buy-releases-list-of-stores-to-close-this-year/

Best Buy releases list of stores to close this year
Pummeled by e-commerce giant Amazon, the big-box retailer said last month that it would shut down 50 stores in the U.S. this year. Here's the list.


so she's not allowed to doubt you? do you know how ridiculous that sounds. instead of losing your cool, you could've calmly explained to her your plan, and how much you love working there. you're going way over the top with your reaction breh.

You are an idiot...

That post is from 2012 breh. Since then the companies fortunes have reversed and not ONE of those stores closed

 

[T.he I.nformant]

I'm with the entire "how deep was your bond if that's all it took for you to be gone" crowd

 

[nalej]

I love it when people that's never been married give advice on how people should deal with divorce. STFU until you've walked in their shoes.

 

[CouldntBeMeTho]

You are an idiot...

That post is from 2012 breh. Since then the companies fortunes have reversed and not ONE of those stores closed

I know its from 2012, you've got some nerve to call me a idiot

youre the one divorcing your wife because you want to work at fukking best buy

bottom line, BB won't be around forever

edit: gawt dayum this dude is sensitive, you could've just calmly explained that instead of calling me names. no wonder

 

[Bboystyle]

BTW, I woke up to over 100 daps from this thread. A nikka thought he got exposed or demodded.

haha that 70+ alert number have u like


*looks at rep*



I know the feeling

 

[Ziggiy]

breh, she's a lawyer and still with your ass? dat girls love you

Don't you know what was going in her head when you wanted to work part time at best buy. how that would make her look to her family and coworkers? what she said was harsh but damn cmon man, u gotta forgive that.

And she still trying to make it work with you.
if i wasnt boo'ed, i might ask you for her number

fukk her family, coworkers, her friends and whomever else has an opinion on my decision making and work ethic....


Did I think about how it looked when I was holding down EVERYTHING while she was attempting to "find out what she wanted to do?"

Went from Paralegal for 3 months, to a part time job at a clothing store, to no job studying for the LSAT (classes and study materials paid for by me) to working full time at Verizon. rent, car payment, food, etc paid for by me.

Did I say to myself. "Man I must look like a sucka supporting a woman whose having trouble really making up her mind on a career". No I supported her,never made her feel like a less of a person, encouraged her. When I was in Afghanistan putting the money towards savings (of which not a cent she contributed) and paying the bills for her back home, did I think to myself "oh whatever shall other muthafukkas think of this"


Again, and for the last time. I am not expecting posters on a message board to understand how much work, effort, and commitment went into my time at Best Buy PREVIOUSLY. You can hate on the job or the career decision all you like. The FACTS are however that SHE did. She witnessed it first hand how I MADE that job a viable career, and I did it because I genuinely loved it, was good at it, and was PROUD of the accomplishments. SHE knew it all. There was absolutely ZERO reason for her to doubt me or question me in such a disrespectful manner. She shytted on everything that I stood for, and this is supposed to be my wife?


I had a vision and a plan. I knew what needed to be done. I knew I would need to work musket to the bone, outshine all others in a short amount of time, and absolutely be the best, the most knowledgeable, the most dependable. No days off. 7am-10pm. Marta to and from. But if I make a decision then no less than my absolute 150% is going into it.


And the bytch had to nerve to suggest that I would fail...worse..she suggested I would underachieve...that my life's track record was that of mediocrity.


5 months in I'm a manager. I made it Brehs. This may mean nothing to you but it meant EVERYTHING to me to achieve that goal. And it's not the ending point either. My short term Goal is to be the youngest General Manager in the state. My long term goal is to be the District Manager of Geek Squad services.


But you know what I REFUSE to do? I refuse to accomplish anything more with a woman by side who doubted me to such a point that she disrespected my dedication to success. My work ethic, the very fiber of who I am and what I represent. Of all people in this world SHE would've been the one to know who and what I truly am. And at that moment she showed what she truly thought of me...

I would NEVER stayed married to that nor accept that thought process from a woman. Bushes status