Luke and Ameond losing control of the dragons is important from a narrative perspective, it wasn’t about making any characters “grey”. First, it serves as the first blow to ignite the war. We saw last episode how much Alicent doesn’t want to go to war and we see this episode how Queen Rhaenyra doesn’t want to go to war too. I’m sure Alicent gave Aemond the same speech Queen Rhanyra gave Luke about not being warriors on this mission. Ameond is an immature bully tho. So when Luke falls in his lap, he couldn’t resist taking the opportunity to bully him. He meant to scare and humiliate Luke with his “snack size” dragon (word to Dora), but he didn’t mean to kill him. And I that fits perfectly narratively. It doesn’t make him grey, he just didn’t intend to kill Luke at that moment.
The second reason it fits narratively to have them lose control of the dragons is it illustrates that dragonriders don’t have full control of the dragons. Especially when they’re fighting something that can actually fight back (another dragon). That sets the stage for next season beautifully. They’re about to go to war with these incredibly destructive weapons they can’t even control. Imagine how chaotic that could get. Got me hype as fukk foot season 2; can’t believe we gotta wait 2 years.