Fellas: Do you let your chick have male friends?

[havoc]

Let me lay it out here. You don't create boundaries based upon 'controlling the woman' and having her do exactly what you want with a 100% success rate. It's not about control. It's about respect. You lay out boundaries because you want to create a situation that is conducive to the relationship being successful in the first place.

There already have been several queries on this forum with the question asked, "Can men and women be friends" and about 80 or 90% of the replies will be "Naw, if I can't hit it, what do I want to do with her?" Ya'll know that other males think like that, and ya'll are cool with these wolves in sheep's clothing trying to pop at your broad under the guise of friendship? The vast majority of negroes ain't trying to be friends with the woman. They will be FRIENDLY, but when the opportunity strikes, they'll try to drop some salt. I know ya'll seen this thread:
http://www.the-coli.com/locker-room...u-just-met-says-she-has-man.html#.UdOp1PnVBzo

And it's not even just the dudes. If you give your woman the green-light, she's going to run all over you with that notion. Once you let her officially have male homies, she will most likely run wild with it. Every fella she thinks looks fine and gives her some attention, she will be adding that negro to her phone under the guise of 'he's a friend.' That's just a wide open opportunity for roster building.

That whole 'you're not confident if they don't okay that' is really nonsense. It's just an old-school player tactic used to justify a bunch of funny business going on. "Well girl, be more confident in yourself and me! You shouldn't be insecure about me going to the strip club because you know I'm all about you!" Setting boundaries is more like you are so confident in yourself to the point where you won't cosign off on any nonsense going on within the context of your relationship. If she's going to still do it by being sneaky or by cheating, that's on her, and once you find out, give her the boot.

Really, the key isn't to 'control your woman'. It's to create a relationship structure that is mutually beneficial. You don't try to pull this AFTER the fact... You don't go get a woman that has 10,000 male friends and is known to keep them while being in a relationship. You don't invite that woman into a relationship with you in the first place. What you should do is have assessed your woman carefully before you got with her and transmitted to her an understanding ahead of time that if she is to be official with you that this sort of behavior is a no-go... and if she's real about herself, she'll agree and she'll also have enough solid female friends to not need the companionship of 'the homies.'

Let's be real. if you're cool with her having 'male friends', are you cool with her doing any and everything that goes on in a typical friendship, or will that all of a sudden become disrespectful? For example, it's cool to go kick it at one of your potnas houses and drink something, so are you going to let her do that with her 'male homie'? You and your friends might hit up a restaurant, so is it cool for her to hit up a restaurant without you with the male homie and some of his potnas? I don't think so.

If there are no boundaries in a relationship, there is no such thing as a relationship. Ya'll are just two people that are in each other's vicinity for selfish purposes. If babygirl wants to have 10,000 homies, I'mma just be homie 10,001. I'm not going to make her my girl.

Amen!!

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[Made Man]

Dudes weak as hell these days...and im 24


These the same dudes who are cool with their women posting half naked pics on instagram and facebook..then add there momma the next week. These nikkas excuse this behaivior by saying " im the one she coming home to at night"......

These the same dudes that are cool with their women going club hoppin and gettin drunk at the bar every weekend while they sittin at the crib playing Xbox...... " bu ..bu...but im not insecure . besides i go to the club too". The question is what are you doing at the club?. Are you on your best behavior?

These the same dudes who are cool with their women hanging out with male friends.." well i have female friends so im not tripping". You wont smash yo female friends? How often do you hang wit them? If they have a S/O do you really hang with them THAT much? Take em to dinner and movies? No you dont .GTFOH

Edit: I'ts crazy it likes when nikkas single they Alphas...as soon as they get in a relatioship they turn to Beta's. There is suppose to be a mutual respect. And they let women talk them into not setting up some boundries cause they dont want to be "controlling". Relationships don't work cause when one person set boundaries theres is 5 other ppl who will let your s/o walk all over them.

 

[AntiHero]

i dont go thru my husbands phone so it wont happen

I said your phones.
Why would your husband have your guy friend's numbers ?

 

[BruhMayne]

I said your phones.
Why would your husband have your guy friend's numbers ?

She probably misread it as "your guy's friends"

 

[havoc]

Most women have the wrong idea that every man think with his d!ck. They don't understand that most men have marketing skills that can influence a woman to drop her draws and knows how to disguise their strategies to pursue them. A lot of dudes will circle around a woman like vultures while waiting for a lady's man to screw up that will lead her into their arms.

 

[AntiHero]

She probably misread it as "your guy's friends"

oh.

 

[MAKAVELI25]

Let me lay it out here. You don't create boundaries based upon 'controlling the woman' and having her do exactly what you want with a 100% success rate. It's not about control. It's about respect. You lay out boundaries because you want to create a situation that is conducive to the relationship being successful in the first place.

There already have been several queries on this forum with the question asked, "Can men and women be friends" and about 80 or 90% of the replies will be "Naw, if I can't hit it, what do I want to do with her?" Ya'll know that other males think like that, and ya'll are cool with these wolves in sheep's clothing trying to pop at your broad under the guise of friendship? The vast majority of negroes ain't trying to be friends with the woman. They will be FRIENDLY, but when the opportunity strikes, they'll try to drop some salt. I know ya'll seen this thread:
http://www.the-coli.com/locker-room...u-just-met-says-she-has-man.html#.UdOp1PnVBzo

And it's not even just the dudes. If you give your woman the green-light, she's going to run all over you with that notion. Once you let her officially have male homies, she will most likely run wild with it. Every fella she thinks looks fine and gives her some attention, she will be adding that negro to her phone under the guise of 'he's a friend.' That's just a wide open opportunity for roster building.

That whole 'you're not confident if they don't okay that' is really nonsense. It's just an old-school player tactic used to justify a bunch of funny business going on. "Well girl, be more confident in yourself and me! You shouldn't be insecure about me going to the strip club because you know I'm all about you!" Setting boundaries is more like you are so confident in yourself to the point where you won't cosign off on any nonsense going on within the context of your relationship. If she's going to still do it by being sneaky or by cheating, that's on her, and once you find out, give her the boot.

Really, the key isn't to 'control your woman'. It's to create a relationship structure that is mutually beneficial. You don't try to pull this AFTER the fact... You don't go get a woman that has 10,000 male friends and is known to keep them while being in a relationship. You don't invite that woman into a relationship with you in the first place. What you should do is have assessed your woman carefully before you got with her and transmitted to her an understanding ahead of time that if she is to be official with you that this sort of behavior is a no-go... and if she's real about herself, she'll agree and she'll also have enough solid female friends to not need the companionship of 'the homies.'

Let's be real. if you're cool with her having 'male friends', are you cool with her doing any and everything that goes on in a typical friendship, or will that all of a sudden become disrespectful? For example, it's cool to go kick it at one of your potnas houses and drink something, so are you going to let her do that with her 'male homie'? You and your friends might hit up a restaurant, so is it cool for her to hit up a restaurant without you with the male homie and some of his potnas? I don't think so.

If there are no boundaries in a relationship, there is no such thing as a relationship. Ya'll are just two people that are in each other's vicinity for selfish purposes. If babygirl wants to have 10,000 homies, I'mma just be homie 10,001. I'm not going to make her my girl.

I see a lot of sucker nikkas in this thread. How your woman suppose to respect you when you don't respect yourself. But bu but I can't tell a woman what to do, true! but you sure damn can tell her what you won't put up with.

 

[GZR]

Only if they are proper fakkits.

 

[SuburbanPimp]

Well I've have always had a rule with chicks I were actually with..

If she already had a friend or homeboy she was cool with before we met. not a problem cause I have female friends that I've had for 15 years plus so I understand that and would try to stop them from being friends.

But there won't be making any new male friends while we are together. That shyt ain't happeneing, of course she will have co-workers and stuff like that but like going to hang out with her new friends?

Its not an issue cause wifey didn't have any male friends other than her sister's best friend when we met so now her male friends are basically my potnas.....

Its not a insercurity thing, its just a case of what does she really need any new friends for? and also I was so many females' "friend" for years and I know what that do..

 

[Relldaproblem]

No

Rell Shyt

 

[Numpsay]

This isn't all about controlling the relationship or not having the respect of your girl in a relationship.

I know its impossible for some of you to believe, but its possible for a male and female to be friends. I have 2 close life long female friends and another I have known for about 6 years or so. Now does that mean we stay up all night on the phone, or go out on date like places? No, that is what my woman is for. We may text here and there, or call if its pertinent, and if we go out its for a special occassion or just to grab some drinks(in which our significant others would be present or at least invited as well).

Now if any of my close friends were trying to push up on me I'd expect my girl to have an issue with that and the same vice versa. That is where the matter of respect comes in IMO.

Requiring your girl to rid herself of platonic friends just wreaks of insecurity to me, I can understand a no new friends policy, but dudes she has known for years shouldn't be an issue.

You nikkas just come across as paranoid to me, scared the next nikka will take your girl. I wouldn't doubt some of you are worse than bytches in relationships.

 

[Reckless]

new friends, nah...friends from back in the day...not a big deal, until you start to see signs that it is or WAS more than just friends.

 

[patscorpio]

my chick has them...but the majority are gay or asexual that don't be out and about being flamboyant and whatnot..so I don't mind them..a lot of the hetero male friends that are single pretty much leave her alone after I came into the picture....the one close male friend she has that is hetero has let it be known to her he doesn't want to cross me in any way (cuz he knows he'd lose that battle of fisticuffs ) and he's older than me ...the only reason he's cool with me is because homie knows his boxing like I do

 

[Will2x]

I think in addition to "security" or whatever you want to call it, a relationship is more rewarding when your partner is the only one of the opposite sex you're friends with. It gives them a higher rank because all of your gender inquires go through that one person and vice versa. All of her latest information on men is coming from you, as it should be.

 

[philmonroe]

This isn't all about controlling the relationship or not having the respect of your girl in a relationship.

I know its impossible for some of you to believe, but its possible for a male and female to be friends. I have 2 close life long female friends and another I have known for about 6 years or so. Now does that mean we stay up all night on the phone, or go out on date like places? No, that is what my woman is for. We may text here and there, or call if its pertinent, and if we go out its for a special occassion or just to grab some drinks(in which our significant others would be present or at least invited as well).

Now if any of my close friends were trying to push up on me I'd expect my girl to have an issue with that and the same vice versa. That is where the matter of respect comes in IMO.

Requiring your girl to rid herself of platonic friends just wreaks of insecurity to me, I can understand a no new friends policy, but dudes she has known for years shouldn't be an issue.

You nikkas just come across as paranoid to me, scared the next nikka will take your girl. I wouldn't doubt some of you are worse than bytches in relationships.

I think we need to clarify what the fukk friends mean so everybody can get it right and know what they talking about. This dude and dudes like him are describing life long associates not fukking friends. All my main friends are dudes that aren't my sister. Even the chicks I grew up with we don't chill like that but do what you describe. They are friends in the traditional sense but as far as this goes any chick I'm with wouldn't think any of them are a threat cause they know I barely speak to them. The people I have the most consistent contact with are dudes (even then its only 2/3 cats i been good with since childhood)not chicks. When it's time to go out or have fun yeah it's whatever with the female friends but on the usual nah but they still good people. That's why we need to get what the real definition of friend is cause me had ole boy I quoted got about the same definition of how things should go but coming from different places with it. It's others I see doing the same.