Fellas: Do you let your chick have male friends?

[Fatboi1]

Let me lay it out here. You don't create boundaries based upon 'controlling the woman' and having her do exactly what you want with a 100% success rate. It's not about control. It's about respect. You lay out boundaries because you want to create a situation that is conducive to the relationship being successful in the first place.

There already have been several queries on this forum with the question asked, "Can men and women be friends" and about 80 or 90% of the replies will be "Naw, if I can't hit it, what do I want to do with her?" Ya'll know that other males think like that, and ya'll are cool with these wolves in sheep's clothing trying to pop at your broad under the guise of friendship? The vast majority of negroes ain't trying to be friends with the woman. They will be FRIENDLY, but when the opportunity strikes, they'll try to drop some salt. I know ya'll seen this thread:
http://www.the-coli.com/locker-room...u-just-met-says-she-has-man.html#.UdOp1PnVBzo

And it's not even just the dudes. If you give your woman the green-light, she's going to run all over you with that notion. Once you let her officially have male homies, she will most likely run wild with it. Every fella she thinks looks fine and gives her some attention, she will be adding that negro to her phone under the guise of 'he's a friend.' That's just a wide open opportunity for roster building.

That whole 'you're not confident if they don't okay that' is really nonsense. It's just an old-school player tactic used to justify a bunch of funny business going on. "Well girl, be more confident in yourself and me! You shouldn't be insecure about me going to the strip club because you know I'm all about you!" Setting boundaries is more like you are so confident in yourself to the point where you won't cosign off on any nonsense going on within the context of your relationship. If she's going to still do it by being sneaky or by cheating, that's on her, and once you find out, give her the boot.

Really, the key isn't to 'control your woman'. It's to create a relationship structure that is mutually beneficial. You don't try to pull this AFTER the fact... You don't go get a woman that has 10,000 male friends and is known to keep them while being in a relationship. You don't invite that woman into a relationship with you in the first place. What you should do is have assessed your woman carefully before you got with her and transmitted to her an understanding ahead of time that if she is to be official with you that this sort of behavior is a no-go... and if she's real about herself, she'll agree and she'll also have enough solid female friends to not need the companionship of 'the homies.'

Let's be real. if you're cool with her having 'male friends', are you cool with her doing any and everything that goes on in a typical friendship, or will that all of a sudden become disrespectful? For example, it's cool to go kick it at one of your potnas houses and drink something, so are you going to let her do that with her 'male homie'? You and your friends might hit up a restaurant, so is it cool for her to hit up a restaurant without you with the male homie and some of his potnas? I don't think so.

If there are no boundaries in a relationship, there is no such thing as a relationship. Ya'll are just two people that are in each other's vicinity for selfish purposes. If babygirl wants to have 10,000 homies, I'mma just be homie 10,001. I'm not going to make her my girl.

That's all there is to it folks. No need for more discussion.

 

[razassin]

Hell NAA nikka!

I like my womenz alone n miserable

 

[BrehWyatt]

If they were friends before we hooked up, then yeah, it's all good.

Post-coupling? I ain't too sure about. At BEST, she's not hanging out with those cats without me around although I lean toward the "no new friends" policy unless it's one of my bruhs (And I trust my dudes, I don't befriend sleazy f***boys).

One of my three best friends is a chick and to be honest, she's done far too much and been too good a friend just for me to drop her like that.

However, this isn't even a control issue, it's about what you and your chick (or man, if that's how you get down) is comfortable with. There's no let in it. Either she will or she won't, and really there's nothing you can do about it except hit her with the ultimatum.

 

[Easy-E]

Truth be told; this is a consequence of sex being so big in premarital relationships.

I know ya'll are all "get married, brehs" and "is you gay?"

But, it's a shame we can't trust two ppl won't have sex with each other.

Now, I'm no blind "simp." That's how ya'll make it, now.

One, it depends on how long we've been together:

A couple weeks - that may be her other guy.

A couple months - not too big off a deal, but, she grown

Years - should be no prob'

I don't want to mess with a woman with nothing goin' on for her. And if she's gonna make it, in life, she's gonna need to make "friends" with men. She's not gonna be barefoot and pregnant all day. It's 2013.

And if ya gon' "share her," ya gon' "share her."