What I’m saying is kids don’t get free time. They are kids. They ALWAYS fukk up.That’s the reason we keep them for 18+ years. Otherwise we would just pop them out and let them do their thing.
It’s not about saving them from influences. It’s about guiding them through those influences. Your son has an affinity for violent media, don’t let him stockpile guns Your daughter a heavy city girls fan, you don’t let her get the house to herself on weekends.
This. all facts. The same way that we introduce positive activities to our children. The same way that you, as a parent, have to also remove the negative situations that could possibly take place. Take whatever and any necessary precautions, I don't care how extreme.
-Most schools these days have an online system for parents to track their attendance and tardies. If there is a repeat pattern, then it needs to be addressed.
-Parents need to browse the internet for any and all lingo- if your daughter is listening to City Girls and reciting lyrics - Red fukkin flag= no time alone. You have 35+ yr olds showing out off that dumb shyt - so of course a 12 yr old doesn't have the mindset.
-Talk, talk and talk to your kids. Communicate and set boundaries.
-I do believe in corporal punishment (spare the rod, bc at times, kids do push limits and know what they're doing, and talking goes but so far. Like my parents used to tell me when I talk back or come with the smart mouth "the only language that you understand sometimes, nicole, is the sound of a belt").
(all I know is this thread has me paranoid as shyt and the first thing I'm doing when I get home from work, is checking all cell phones, canvassing their rooms, checking bookbags, looking through internet history on laptops.. idgaf)
-I can't overstate this enough but mothers have primary influence over their daughters. They emulate whatever standards and behaviors the mother establishes in the home. I understand where
@sanityovar8ted is coming from, her situation is extreme and real. I can't tell you the amount of times where I had young girls breakdown bc their mother sees them as competition, never shows any affection, always making some type of negative comments or whenever they do something good it's never given the same energy; putting their need for having "a man" over their daughter. From a woman's perspective (I don't expect men in the thread to understand bc they can't relate) if you are not given confidence, signs of love or positive reinforcement at home; you will seek outside attention or a form of comfort outside of it (whether it is sex, drugs, babies etc... )you become the best at the worst situations bc any feedback (bad or good) is attention. Whatever it takes to make up for that unconditional love that you're not getting. It takes one compliment or one soft touch to be easily influenced when you're already damaged bc of the lack of validation. Imagine you wanting the love from the one person that is supposed to see you as an extension of herself and she does nothing but reject you. As far as fathers, we tend to seek out men, who emulate our fathers bc that's the primary male figure in our lives. All of this is a cycle, until we have the inner strength to gain some control and realize that we can't keep self destructing. A 12 yr old is not going to come to that on her own, someone along the line there is a huuuge disconnect with her mother AND father. Because at 12, all I had to do was think about how my father would react and that was enough to get my mind right- if my father saw me at the park with too many boys hanging around - he would give no fux about walking right down there and all it took was a look. It was embarrassing sometimes, but shyt, now I understand that I have my own. I think a lot of those "hits" the father was dishing out, was taking that frustration on himself in a way that he knew how, bc he knows that he fukked up too.
