Divorce Divorce Divorce

[International Playa]

These podcasts were dope man

 

[Tommy Lee Jones]

That’s why I wouldn’t get into a relationship with a woman who surrounds herself with birds because we all know who flocks together.

And any “male friend(s)” is an automatic DQ. I wouldn’t care how long they’ve known each other. Marry him then if you’re so close.

No such thing as a platonic friendship between two heterosexual people of the opposite sex.

especially gay friends and if she friends with weird binary trannies fukk all that

 

[ThrobbingHood]

especially gay friends and if she friends with weird binary trannies fukk all that

I’ll keep it real. I used to avoid the rigid conservative church type women. To me, they seemed too stiff and unwilling to bend. Now with my fiancée, I appreciate them more because they understand the importance of boundaries.

And that’s what you want in a wife/mother of your children raising a family. You can’t raise your kids, especially daughters with an overly liberal mother. It will end in disaster and I’ve seen this happen many times.

Lack of rules, boundaries, letting them hang out with anyone and anything will only lead her down to one path…

 

[Trav]

I’m a dirtbag always, but it wasn’t that, she thought a nikka was outchea but i think that was her own bs, (we all have our triggers) i tries to show her but again it’s never enough when a person decides you ain’t their person anymore, the fights became more frequent and more bad feelings were harboring, to me when you say i do that means above it all it’s us, it stop being about that, she stopped being gentle with me, i tried my hardest to still show her hey it’s me and you, 24 was rough for me, but i literally found a girl at the end of 24 early December, we have not left each others space for more than a day (outside of work) it’s nice to have some one value you, i hope it last forever. I think we tend to movie divorce and love, that shyt is very gray, i enjoy this new woman a lot but I’d die if i could hug my ex one good time, i still have our pics, but like i said i let that die because it serves me no purpose, i just enjoy what life brings me, and it’s brought me joy in a new woman who values me

The one thing i can say fight every day for your love, and wife, because you can say atleast you tried, talk to a counselor if you need to (a man) it won’t solve things but sometimes hearing each other from a neutral party can help. Check in with each other have the tough conversations and don’t separate and sleep in separate spaces that closeness makes it harder to keep the negativity up, holding the person you love makes it harder to be mad, don’t fukk around and get it poppin, then you realize I’m trippin over nothing always ask yourself is this a hill I’m willing to die on before any disagreement it can save you issues

We def done had our fair share of counseling though, from both man and woman. Im def not wit all that ole school "we don't need anybody in our business" bs----niccas be needing mediators out here at a certain point. And some stuff just ain't manageable on yall own. I'm sure yall did, but did yall try the counseling shyt?

Hopefully the new shyt work out for you----but as @threattonature said, take ya time with it at the same time. Cuz it def sound like you ain't over og ms drop and rightfully so with it seemingly not being that long ago.

They don't be lying though when they say this sum shyt you gotta actively choose day in and day out cuz it become real easy to become disenchanted with this shyt and get the fucc on. But at the same time, I've seen what's out there in da streets and I'd rather try to do everything possible to pick da shyt up I have then to throw it away right off rip.

 

[Trav]

Men really need to take this into consideration more seriously. Of course vetting a woman’s family is vital before settling down with her but her circle of friends is just as, if not more important to observe.

If she’s surrounded by married women with good heads on their shoulders, then you’re in dreamland. If she’s surrounded by single bitter birds living their “hot girl summer” every season then…

I feel u on dat, but at the same time, even the friends can pull the wool ova ya eyes fr, just like ya lady can. Be the type that u think is "God-fearing" in a committed relationship, but behind closed doors, she ain't happy with her own shyt and low-key wanna be miserable with her bestie so if she come to her venting about something you been doing that's getting on her nerves, the friend gon be all "girl, I can't stand when they do that, they act like it aint another nicca out here who will xyz", but u not privy to nun dat shyt unless u da type to go searching thru da phone & wanna end up wit ya heart in yo ass real fast.

For me, yeah, it's pay as close attention as you can to family AND friend but also:

I. I said it in another thread jokingly, some of these girls can change out friends or add new friends by the year and you can't keep up with the shyt or VET every damn body

II. You don't really know how they moving, what they're saying behind the scenes, and whole time you thinkin' they wholehearted when they're really HEAUXhearted.

III. I'd say pay more attention to how both ya lady and her friends resolve(d) shyt more than anything. Whether that's friendships or past relationships. Look for patterns, see if they're the type to healthily resolve something and not get all super emotional with it. And even then, it's still just....a mf toss up

 

[DropTopDoc]

One thing to be careful of is the rebound. With you all spending that much time together it could be you finding a way to fill that void that your ex left and one sign of that is being extremely clingy. Don't get me wrong it can definitely work out in some cases. But it also could be a way of you avoiding the pain you're feeling with an outlet of another partner.

With that said I do love your mindset. I've had my heart broke twice through cheating. The first it took me years to rebound because I kept trying to fukk my way through the pain. I hated women but wanted the comfort of women so found it in the arms of randoms that I wouldn't allow myself to get close to. It may be swear off relationships. The last time I just took a year break from dating to get comfortable being alone and to give myself time to address and heal my wounds. I came out of that situation much healthier mentally.

Sorry you're having to go through that as it's devastating when you think you have your forever woman and then shyt ends.

A lot of work to get better, I’m taking it slowly and I’m enjoying it

 

[DropTopDoc]

I think the thing that is really missed is, in all that is going on, you don’t really have someone to be gentle with you, my sis def helped, but she lived states away, and my home girls, but they homies but we not the hugging-hugging type plus they didn’t live close, the fellas helped but I’m not hugging my guys i love them, and you know the homie hug but, man above everything i just needed a hug and someone i could honestly release to, just cry like a baby, i never got that, if i cried it was by myself in my car or when she was gone from the crib, more men need that emotional outlet when going through a divorce, a simple hug can mean the world to you

 

[DropTopDoc]

I’ll also add, what the man @Cat piss martini posted in his hot line thread, while it’s comedy it’s also some wise words, that really helped me shake back some

Every 24 hours is a new chance to change things
You fail you get back up
Leave an impression on this earth long after you leave
Remove things that’s heavy from your life, people included

 

[Cat piss martini]

I’ll also add, what the man @Cat piss martini posted in his hot line thread, while it’s comedy it’s also some wise words, that really helped me shake back some

Every 24 hours is a new chance to change things
You fail you get back up
Leave an impression on this earth long after you leave
Remove things that’s heavy from your life, people included

 

[Black Magisterialness]

These podcasts were dope man

My boy got divorced last year. He lost his gig (laid off when the company shuttered) and within 3 months the marriage fell apart. Him and his wife both made well over 6 figures, so they were fine financially. But she dipped out fast.

Let me know that even when you got the 6 figures, 6 certs it don't matter. Many women talk that "equality" stuff, but DO NOT want that shyt in real life. (Obviously, not all women.)

 

[DropTopDoc]

Kin folk

 

[Ohene]

My boy got divorced last year. He lost his gig (laid off when the company shuttered) and within 3 months the marriage fell apart. Him and his wife both made well over 6 figures, so they were fine financially. But she dipped out fast.

Let me know that even when you got the 6 figures, 6 certs it don't matter. Many women talk that "equality" stuff, but DO NOT want that shyt in real life. (Obviously, not all women.)

damn bro...as somebody who lost their job 7 months ago it hurts to know the game that cold

send this to your boy

 

[Ohene]

I guess since only a few know me, i can share, i get all the gmb shyt but we were meant to find love and have a fulfilling life with a mate. shyt basically went down less than a year ago, she just wanted out, and didn’t want to fight for us. (I’m sure we can all draw that conclusion) the thing about it as a man, you allow a certain level of comfort with that person and vulnerability, and you begin to like certain things through your love for her. And then one day it’s gone, and you more than likely will never get it back. All of the sacrifices the love the effort the memories the sex all gone. I have videos (non sexual) pictures and idk if I’ll ever be able to erase them, one day may, and as mad and as hurt as i am i still love her and won’t ever stop. It sucks because i liked certain holidays thanks to her and now it’s all gone. I was in a really dark place and struggled to keep moving, you ask yourself questions like am i enough why did she think I’m not worthy of fighting for etc, but you will never get those answered you just try to work through it the best way you can prayer (I’m far from religious) drinking Friends just keep living man. I still have my moments of sadness or thinking of her but i know it serves me no purpose that’s dead and gone. Eventually you will find someone else, and i have, just don’t let it ruin you or your views of love, because then it’s fukked you twice, maybe one day we will talk and maybe I’ll never see her again, i just take peace in i gave it everything i could and it’s never good enough for a person that doesn’t want you

i feel this way about a woman I never even married (although I am the one who broke up); I know that despite what she did to me I will always love/think about her. It's pretty fukked up

i feel your pain breh. You ever wanna vvent..feel free to inbox. you should def take solace in the fact you did your part

 

[Ohene]

Yup. I've been there. Friends ask why I'm so picky or why I won't just settle down but I figure why waste time with somebody that's already annoying the hell out of me and that I'm already bored talking to. Too many people settle and then a few years down the road are bored or resentful and realize they settled and then want to divorce.

I got a close friend now that's already depressed with a guy she's dating. She makes double his salary. Admitted when she met him she didn't find him attractive at all but hung out with him cause she was in a new city and bored. Now she's talking about buying a house and marrying him. I asked why and it's all because she wants kids and is worried that if she has to start over dating wise she won't have enough time to have kids in the time frame she wants.

Another who married a doctor. She just hit me up last night telling me how depressed she is. She swears it's not her home life causing it. When I ask if she's happy with her partner she lists all the on paper qualities such as him being good with the kids, he treats her well, is a good cook, and having a good job. That all sounds nice but if you have chemistry with your partner or don't actually enjoy talking to them or spending time together then it's going to eventually catch up to you.

why wouldnt you enjoy spending time with somebody who treats you well and is good with the kids though?
iunno. something about people nowadays is just cooked...peoples' brains have been completely fried by dopamine or sumn

 

[DropTopDoc]

i feel this way about a woman I never even married (although I am the one who broke up); I know that despite what she did to me I will always love/think about her. It's pretty fukked up

i feel your pain breh. You ever wanna vvent..feel free to inbox. you should def take solace in the fact you did your part

Preciate bruh thanks

why wouldnt you enjoy spending time with somebody who treats you well and is good with the kids though?
iunno. something about people nowadays is just cooked...peoples' brains have been completely fried by dopamine or sumn

Folks want perfect not good