Divorce Divorce Divorce

[Cat piss martini]

Kin folk

to the death kinfolk!

 

[threattonature]

why wouldnt you enjoy spending time with somebody who treats you well and is good with the kids though?
iunno. something about people nowadays is just cooked...peoples' brains have been completely fried by dopamine or sumn

Preciate bruh thanks





Folks want perfect not good

It's cause I'm thinking long term. So many people I know have never been in a great relationship with someone they genuinely enjoy being around. So they settle with someone that is decent on paper. But that's how you end up with people being so bored in relationships or it's set up as almost a business relationship. That's how you end up with people desperate for outside friends because they can't talk to their partner or don't enjoy being around their partner.

To me being able to genuinely enjoy being around my partner doing nothing. So that as we get older and more boring I'm still enjoying the relationship. I've had some girls I've known for a couple months and the conversations already dried out. Also have a couple where we can talk for hours a week and the convo is still flowing.

I enjoy being single and don't want to give up that freedom unless it is for somebody special. Too many are uncomfortable being alone for feel pressured to be in a relationship they settle for good enough.

 

[Ohene]

It's cause I'm thinking long term. So many people I know have never been in a great relationship with someone they genuinely enjoy being around. So they settle with someone that is decent on paper. But that's how you end up with people being so bored in relationships or it's set up as almost a business relationship. That's how you end up with people desperate for outside friends because they can't talk to their partner or don't enjoy being around their partner.

To me being able to genuinely enjoy being around my partner doing nothing. So that as we get older and more boring I'm still enjoying the relationship. I've had some girls I've known for a couple months and the conversations already dried out. Also have a couple where we can talk for hours a week and the convo is still flowing.

I enjoy being single and don't want to give up that freedom unless it is for somebody special. Too many are uncomfortable being alone for feel pressured to be in a relationship they settle for good enough.

But what makes someone good on paper

If somebody is well off financially, has a good job, respectful, has interests/hobbies, comes from a good family, is sensible, open minded and whatever else makes them good on paper…that sounds like somebody who should be very easy, interesting and fun to talk to or spend time with if you’re mature. That sounds like somebody one should be able to have fun with doing anything including nothing.

Iunno breh

Like i said i think ppl just addicted to dopamine and as a result attracted to or lust after things that honestly aren’t even conducive to building a long lasting relationship in the first place. And i agree with you regarding the convos drying out and ppl being dudes, a lot of women and I’m sure men lack personality and social skills

I honestly dont think anybody is special either lol. And even if they are now, you or they will change into something that isn’t. Look at a lot of the comments in this thread about ppl saying somebody changed or how ppl grew apart. Ppl way too unrealistic but hey, relationships ain’t for everyone so it’s nothing wrong with being single. I think more ppl need to acknowledge that maybe they shouldn’t get married cause it doesn’t align with their values or mentality

 

[ThrobbingHood]

why wouldnt you enjoy spending time with somebody who treats you well and is good with the kids though?
iunno. something about people nowadays is just cooked...peoples' brains have been completely fried by dopamine or sumn

Preciate bruh thanks





Folks want perfect not good

I hate to keep quoting myself but:

Most men settle but are happy to be comfortable. Most women settle and will always be uncomfortable.

Source: the gender who initiates the majority of divorces.

 

[Ohene]

I hate to keep quoting myself but:

Ya that’s just the nature of women and kind of why I’m over the idea of marriage. I believe in it but i don’t think I’ll be able to find a woman on the same wave length

It’s just a shame is all. Young men today are up against a beast when it comes to finding a woman and settling down

 

[ThrobbingHood]

I think more ppl need to acknowledge that maybe they shouldn’t get married cause it doesn’t align with their values or mentality

Women marry for security, not men. It’s us who propose, not women. Anyone who marries for love is destined for failure.

The reason most men get married is because they want exclusivity on that p*ssy but a ring doesn’t guarantee it. Or it’s a “shut up” ring for their long term suffering girlfriend.

If we knew our women wouldn’t stray away no matter what, we wouldn’t bother with marriage but a woman can push out three kids, live with her man for decades and still want that ring.

Dating dynamics are all messed. Marriage has ALWAYS been about business, keeping the wealth in the family and social mobility for women. These past 40 years have changed all that.

 

[Ohene]

But what makes someone good on paper

If somebody is well off financially, has a good job, respectful, has interests/hobbies, comes from a good family, is sensible, open minded and whatever else makes them good on paper…that sounds like somebody who should be very easy, interesting and fun to talk to or spend time with if you’re mature. That sounds like somebody one should be able to have fun with doing anything including nothing.

Iunno breh

Like i said i think ppl just addicted to dopamine and as a result attracted to or lust after things that honestly aren’t even conducive to building a long lasting relationship in the first place. And i agree with you regarding the convos drying out and ppl being dudes, a lot of women and I’m sure men lack personality and social skills

I honestly dont think anybody is special either lol. And even if they are now, you or they will change into something that isn’t. Look at a lot of the comments in this thread about ppl saying somebody changed or how ppl grew apart. Ppl way too unrealistic but hey, relationships ain’t for everyone so it’s nothing wrong with being single. I think more ppl need to acknowledge that maybe they shouldn’t get married cause it doesn’t align with their values or mentality

And while i don’t think anyone is special, i honestly think the average person is more interesting than they’re given credit for. It’s just that a lot of the time ppl don’t actually put in effort to know or understand ppl.

Look at this ick culture bullshyt for instance. Ppl are out here walking on eggshells and presenting idealized/fake versions of themselves to appear more appealing. Ppl are also keeping up guards to prevent turning someone off or being vulnerable. As a result you get two walls talking to each other and making decisions based on perception more than reality. But if ppl actually let loose and kept an open mind theyd be able to realize just how cool or interesting the person in front of them actually is

 

[ThrobbingHood]

Ya that’s just the nature of women and kind of why I’m over the idea of marriage. I believe in it but i don’t think I’ll be able to find a woman on the same wave length

It’s just a shame is all. Young men today are up against a beast when it comes to finding a woman and settling down

In spite of all that, I’m still getting married this summer. I’ve got more to lose in the long run but the only way to avoid losing is to not play at all.

But if ppl actually let loose and kept an open mind theyd be able to realize just how cool or interesting the person in front of them actually is

And that’s why the best partner to be with is one you can truly be yourself around with no judgment.

 

[Ohene]

In spite of all that, I’m still getting married this summer. I’ve got more to lose in the long run but the only way to avoid losing is to not play at all.

shyt breh if you found a woman that makes sense to marry, and you’re attracted to/respect her then why wouldn’t you? Have at it. A strong relationship will always beat being single and gallivanting

 

[DropTopDoc]

That’s why I can’t ever get too close or completely fall in love with a woman. Gotta be able to rebound quick if/when shyt goes south. Keep your physical and mental in shape and no woman can ever get you like that again.

Love is chaos and stupidity, it’s putting someone above self, you can’t truly experience love if you don’t, what i will say is love smart, and don’t stretch yourself too far financially or emotionally that you are just blown up, you can love and make sure things add up without being paranoid or emotionally damaged

There’s the philosophy of two arrows that’s always stuck with me. The first arrow is inevitable tragedy and the pain that comes with it and the other is the emotional pain that you allow it to give to you and how long you give into it. Sounds like you managed your second one with grace and integrity Let yours be a lesson for anyone else that this may happen to, because this is what strong emotional intelligence looks like. I see that you were willing to put in the effort to work things out. Most people these days no longer have the mindset of putting effort into things they want in life and this is why no one is able to foster meaningful relationships with others anymore these days.

Sadly instant gratification kills a lot of relationships and reality vs expectations

Damn, what did you do to her???!!

Try to be the best version of me daily, and treat her like a queen, but when you let things push your lover away, and you seek love from another what can you do ??

 

[Hacksaw Jim Thuggin]

ive been married and divorced TWICE....
take this advice and do with it what you will....

Both times i got married for 'Love'....i thought that thats why you were supposed to do it....

wrong....

Theres only 2 reasons to get married:
1. family/kids
theres too may stats that tell you that kids turn out better from 2 parent homes

or...
2. business....you and her are actively building or will be building something together.

that's it....

marrying for companionship/sex/love any of that shyt...you'll be divorced in no time....

no matter why you got married it will be hard...expect that from jump
you will get tired of her shyt and she will get tired of yours....no matter how fine she is...you will get bored of the sex eventually...but this is what you signed up for so....figure it out

oh....

this is imperative...make sure she has a life outside of watching you/being your wife...
this will be difficult since most women are allergic to hobbies....

thats all i got

 

[Ohene]

Love is chaos and stupidity, it’s putting someone above self, you can’t truly experience love if you don’t, what i will say is love smart, and don’t stretch yourself too far financially or emotionally that you are just blown up, you can love and make sure things add up without being paranoid or emotionally damaged



Sadly instant gratification kills a lot of relationships and reality vs expectations



Try to be the best version of me daily, and treat her like a queen, but when you let things push your lover away, and you seek love from another what can you do ??

dont speak in code bruh
what happened

 

[DropTopDoc]

dont speak in code bruh
what happened

She was picking fights more and more and then saying I’m not pulling my weight (not true) then i r day said i can’t do this i want a divorce

 

[Ohene]

She was picking fights more and more and then saying I’m not pulling my weight (not true) then i r day said i can’t do this i want a divorce

so you was seeking love from another or she was?

 

[DropTopDoc]

so you was seeking love from another or she was?

She was, she basically told me she wanted a divorce no counseling no let’s work on it, like i said it was a bunch of nit picking and fights for no reason then boom she said she’s fed up, (i can only draw the conclusion she was getting love from someone else to not even fight for her marriage and just say fukk it)