Divorce Divorce Divorce

[Jean toomer]

Yes i was married
No kids, we lost the one we conceived (whole other pain) but i imagine I’d want to die if i had to co parent with her knowing my feelings for her and now it’s all just have to be a parent to the love we created without the lover

Someone(s) in her ear and had/has her thinking the grass greener

I’m a lot better than i was, finding someone else has helped a lot, but i had to make peace with some things and just heal, but i kept my spirit clean and didn’t harbor rage against women or love, i knew someone would love my love

Man, that was brutally honest. It takes a real man to be that vulnerable thanks for sharing.
Best of luck.

 

[ConPHIdential]

I guess since only a few know me, i can share, i get all the gmb shyt but we were meant to find love and have a fulfilling life with a mate. shyt basically went down less than a year ago, she just wanted out, and didn’t want to fight for us. (I’m sure we can all draw that conclusion) the thing about it as a man, you allow a certain level of comfort with that person and vulnerability, and you begin to like certain things through your love for her. And then one day it’s gone, and you more than likely will never get it back. All of the sacrifices the love the effort the memories the sex all gone. I have videos (non sexual) pictures and idk if I’ll ever be able to erase them, one day may, and as mad and as hurt as i am i still love her and won’t ever stop. It sucks because i liked certain holidays thanks to her and now it’s all gone. I was in a really dark place and struggled to keep moving, you ask yourself questions like am i enough why did she think I’m not worthy of fighting for etc, but you will never get those answered you just try to work through it the best way you can prayer (I’m far from religious) drinking Friends just keep living man. I still have my moments of sadness or thinking of her but i know it serves me no purpose that’s dead and gone. Eventually you will find someone else, and i have, just don’t let it ruin you or your views of love, because then it’s fukked you twice, maybe one day we will talk and maybe I’ll never see her again, i just take peace in i gave it everything i could and it’s never good enough for a person that doesn’t want you

As a breh trying to navigate through life and get to that point with companionship I really appreciate you and others sharing these types of experiences.

How long were you both together if you don’t mind me asking?

 

[Atlrocafella]

I guess since only a few know me, i can share, i get all the gmb shyt but we were meant to find love and have a fulfilling life with a mate. shyt basically went down less than a year ago, she just wanted out, and didn’t want to fight for us. (I’m sure we can all draw that conclusion) the thing about it as a man, you allow a certain level of comfort with that person and vulnerability, and you begin to like certain things through your love for her. And then one day it’s gone, and you more than likely will never get it back. All of the sacrifices the love the effort the memories the sex all gone. I have videos (non sexual) pictures and idk if I’ll ever be able to erase them, one day may, and as mad and as hurt as i am i still love her and won’t ever stop. It sucks because i liked certain holidays thanks to her and now it’s all gone. I was in a really dark place and struggled to keep moving, you ask yourself questions like am i enough why did she think I’m not worthy of fighting for etc, but you will never get those answered you just try to work through it the best way you can prayer (I’m far from religious) drinking Friends just keep living man. I still have my moments of sadness or thinking of her but i know it serves me no purpose that’s dead and gone. Eventually you will find someone else, and i have, just don’t let it ruin you or your views of love, because then it’s fukked you twice, maybe one day we will talk and maybe I’ll never see her again, i just take peace in i gave it everything i could and it’s never good enough for a person that doesn’t want you

That’s why I can’t ever get too close or completely fall in love with a woman. Gotta be able to rebound quick if/when shyt goes south. Keep your physical and mental in shape and no woman can ever get you like that again.

 

[Buckeye Fever]

One of my homeboys got divorced from his wife and he was depressed. I hired him an escort and before he got to see her, I talked her into letting him hit it raw and let him nut in her.

That got him addicted to escorts and when his ex-wife realized she wanted him back, it was too late. He sees at least 2 escorts a month.

If feel it is my fault he's not back with his wife and kids

 

[Stir Fry]

Yes i was married
No kids, we lost the one we conceived (whole other pain) but i imagine I’d want to die if i had to co parent with her knowing my feelings for her and now it’s all just have to be a parent to the love we created without the lover

Someone(s) in her ear and had/has her thinking the grass greener

I’m a lot better than i was, finding someone else has helped a lot, but i had to make peace with some things and just heal, but i kept my spirit clean and didn’t harbor rage against women or love, i knew someone would love my love

There’s the philosophy of two arrows that’s always stuck with me. The first arrow is inevitable tragedy and the pain that comes with it and the other is the emotional pain that you allow it to give to you and how long you give into it. Sounds like you managed your second one with grace and integrity Let yours be a lesson for anyone else that this may happen to, because this is what strong emotional intelligence looks like. I see that you were willing to put in the effort to work things out. Most people these days no longer have the mindset of putting effort into things they want in life and this is why no one is able to foster meaningful relationships with others anymore these days.

 

[levitate]

I guess since only a few know me, i can share, i get all the gmb shyt but we were meant to find love and have a fulfilling life with a mate. shyt basically went down less than a year ago, she just wanted out, and didn’t want to fight for us. (I’m sure we can all draw that conclusion) the thing about it as a man, you allow a certain level of comfort with that person and vulnerability, and you begin to like certain things through your love for her. And then one day it’s gone, and you more than likely will never get it back. All of the sacrifices the love the effort the memories the sex all gone. I have videos (non sexual) pictures and idk if I’ll ever be able to erase them, one day may, and as mad and as hurt as i am i still love her and won’t ever stop. It sucks because i liked certain holidays thanks to her and now it’s all gone. I was in a really dark place and struggled to keep moving, you ask yourself questions like am i enough why did she think I’m not worthy of fighting for etc, but you will never get those answered you just try to work through it the best way you can prayer (I’m far from religious) drinking Friends just keep living man. I still have my moments of sadness or thinking of her but i know it serves me no purpose that’s dead and gone. Eventually you will find someone else, and i have, just don’t let it ruin you or your views of love, because then it’s fukked you twice, maybe one day we will talk and maybe I’ll never see her again, i just take peace in i gave it everything i could and it’s never good enough for a person that doesn’t want you

Damn, what did you do to her???!!

 

[Jean toomer]

shes some type of high level high paid surgeon too.

They in Georgia? I know a similar story…

 

[beejus]

That being together for a long time and growing apart thing is so true. People mature differently and realize things that were important are no longer or find new things that become important for one but not the other. Communication is so very important, but even then sometimes the spark just fades

 

[Trav]

I guess since only a few know me, i can share, i get all the gmb shyt but we were meant to find love and have a fulfilling life with a mate. shyt basically went down less than a year ago, she just wanted out, and didn’t want to fight for us. (I’m sure we can all draw that conclusion) the thing about it as a man, you allow a certain level of comfort with that person and vulnerability, and you begin to like certain things through your love for her. And then one day it’s gone, and you more than likely will never get it back. All of the sacrifices the love the effort the memories the sex all gone. I have videos (non sexual) pictures and idk if I’ll ever be able to erase them, one day may, and as mad and as hurt as i am i still love her and won’t ever stop. It sucks because i liked certain holidays thanks to her and now it’s all gone. I was in a really dark place and struggled to keep moving, you ask yourself questions like am i enough why did she think I’m not worthy of fighting for etc, but you will never get those answered you just try to work through it the best way you can prayer (I’m far from religious) drinking Friends just keep living man. I still have my moments of sadness or thinking of her but i know it serves me no purpose that’s dead and gone. Eventually you will find someone else, and i have, just don’t let it ruin you or your views of love, because then it’s fukked you twice, maybe one day we will talk and maybe I’ll never see her again, i just take peace in i gave it everything i could and it’s never good enough for a person that doesn’t want you

Damn breh...a nicca ain't know dat dirtbag life crept up on you fr (don't know if actually did but yanno). How long were you and the missus locked in?

I feel you on all of it tho. Just got married over a year ago now, but been with my lady for almost a decade at this point and we done had our fair share of struggles throughout that time, and even after sayin' dem vows too...

And one of da main cause of that shyt is that negative echo chamber wit dem heaux ass friends they be having that don't understand "empathy" for your friend doesn't mean shytting on her situation---even if she's venting & shyt. It just means she needs a shoulder to fuccin' lean on in the moment.

Shyt, even the lil times we get mad each other and briefly separate & ish be feelin' weird. All those little intricacies like sleepin' habits, queueing up a show together, holidays---once you been intertwined with dat for so long, it's hard to even see a shift otherwise.

I already know how your mind work tho and what type of time you on so you on the right path but I know dat shyt still hurt like a mf

 

[ThrobbingHood]

And one of da main cause of that shyt is that negative echo chamber wit dem heaux ass friends they be having that don't understand "empathy" for your friend doesn't mean shytting on her situation---even if she's venting & shyt.

Men really need to take this into consideration more seriously. Of course vetting a woman’s family is vital before settling down with her but her circle of friends is just as, if not more important to observe.

If she’s surrounded by married women with good heads on their shoulders, then you’re in dreamland. If she’s surrounded by single bitter birds living their “hot girl summer” every season then…

 

[DropTopDoc]

Damn breh...a nicca ain't know dat dirtbag life crept up on you fr (don't know if actually did but yanno). How long were you and the missus locked in?

I feel you on all of it tho. Just got married over a year ago now, but been with my lady for almost a decade at this point and we done had our fair share of struggles throughout that time, and even after sayin' dem vows too...

And one of da main cause of that shyt is that negative echo chamber wit dem heaux ass friends they be having that don't understand "empathy" for your friend doesn't mean shytting on her situation---even if she's venting & shyt. It just means she needs a shoulder to fuccin' lean on in the moment.

Shyt, even the lil times we get mad each other and briefly separate & ish be feelin' weird. All those little intricacies like sleepin' habits, queueing up a show together, holidays---once you been intertwined with dat for so long, it's hard to even see a shift otherwise.

I already know how your mind work tho and what type of time you on so you on the right path but I know dat shyt still hurt like a mf

I’m a dirtbag always, but it wasn’t that, she thought a nikka was outchea but i think that was her own bs, (we all have our triggers) i tries to show her but again it’s never enough when a person decides you ain’t their person anymore, the fights became more frequent and more bad feelings were harboring, to me when you say i do that means above it all it’s us, it stop being about that, she stopped being gentle with me, i tried my hardest to still show her hey it’s me and you, 24 was rough for me, but i literally found a girl at the end of 24 early December, we have not left each others space for more than a day (outside of work) it’s nice to have some one value you, i hope it last forever. I think we tend to movie divorce and love, that shyt is very gray, i enjoy this new woman a lot but I’d die if i could hug my ex one good time, i still have our pics, but like i said i let that die because it serves me no purpose, i just enjoy what life brings me, and it’s brought me joy in a new woman who values me

The one thing i can say fight every day for your love, and wife, because you can say atleast you tried, talk to a counselor if you need to (a man) it won’t solve things but sometimes hearing each other from a neutral party can help. Check in with each other have the tough conversations and don’t separate and sleep in separate spaces that closeness makes it harder to keep the negativity up, holding the person you love makes it harder to be mad, don’t fukk around and get it poppin, then you realize I’m trippin over nothing always ask yourself is this a hill I’m willing to die on before any disagreement it can save you issues

 

[DropTopDoc]

Men really need to take this into consideration more seriously. Of course vetting a woman’s family is vital before settling down with her but her circle of friends is just as, if not more important to observe.

If she’s surrounded by married women with good heads on their shoulders, then you’re in dreamland. If she’s surrounded by single bitter birds living their “hot girl summer” every season then…

You can’t always control that

 

[ThrobbingHood]

You can’t always control that

That’s why I wouldn’t get into a relationship with a woman who surrounds herself with birds because we all know who flocks together.

And any “male friend(s)” is an automatic DQ. I wouldn’t care how long they’ve known each other. Marry him then if you’re so close.

No such thing as a platonic friendship between two heterosexual people of the opposite sex.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

It's crazy the older I get it seems like every other week close friends of mine, family members, or past friends are getting divorced.

I keep getting calls to be the shoulder to lean on and I try and listen but the stories I hear are so depressing.

Anyone else seeing this or is it society as a whole?

 

[threattonature]

I’m a dirtbag always, but it wasn’t that, she thought a nikka was outchea but i think that was her own bs, (we all have our triggers) i tries to show her but again it’s never enough when a person decides you ain’t their person anymore, the fights became more frequent and more bad feelings were harboring, to me when you say i do that means above it all it’s us, it stop being about that, she stopped being gentle with me, i tried my hardest to still show her hey it’s me and you, 24 was rough for me, but i literally found a girl at the end of 24 early December, we have not left each others space for more than a day (outside of work) it’s nice to have some one value you, i hope it last forever. I think we tend to movie divorce and love, that shyt is very gray, i enjoy this new woman a lot but I’d die if i could hug my ex one good time, i still have our pics, but like i said i let that die because it serves me no purpose, i just enjoy what life brings me, and it’s brought me joy in a new woman who values me

The one thing i can say fight every day for your love, and wife, because you can say atleast you tried, talk to a counselor if you need to (a man) it won’t solve things but sometimes hearing each other from a neutral party can help. Check in with each other have the tough conversations and don’t separate and sleep in separate spaces that closeness makes it harder to keep the negativity up, holding the person you love makes it harder to be mad, don’t fukk around and get it poppin, then you realize I’m trippin over nothing always ask yourself is this a hill I’m willing to die on before any disagreement it can save you issues

One thing to be careful of is the rebound. With you all spending that much time together it could be you finding a way to fill that void that your ex left and one sign of that is being extremely clingy. Don't get me wrong it can definitely work out in some cases. But it also could be a way of you avoiding the pain you're feeling with an outlet of another partner.

With that said I do love your mindset. I've had my heart broke twice through cheating. The first it took me years to rebound because I kept trying to fukk my way through the pain. I hated women but wanted the comfort of women so found it in the arms of randoms that I wouldn't allow myself to get close to. It may be swear off relationships. The last time I just took a year break from dating to get comfortable being alone and to give myself time to address and heal my wounds. I came out of that situation much healthier mentally.

Sorry you're having to go through that as it's devastating when you think you have your forever woman and then shyt ends.