The guys almost always go into hiding and cut everyone off after getting Divorced. While the women get tons of support and you go girl energy.
Exactly what happened on my end. To a tee
Divorce Divorce Divorce
- Thread starter Morethan1
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Exactly what happened on my end. To a tee
Only one of my friends asked the crew for advice during his separation. He was talking about reconciling with this cheating tramp.
We was like you better sign them papers before this dumb broad smartens up. Guy she was cheating with sold her a dream.
She tried to come back after the side dude dumped her. But it was too late the Divorce was final. Dudes who cut everyone off don't usually see things clearly.
Dameon Farrow
Superstar
Yep too many single folks just sit around doing jack. I tell them the world is literally at your fingertips. That sitting around shyt is a choice and it's a terrible one. Get out and have a little fun. Even if it's just one night a week. Childless folks are really bad. You could jump up tomorrow and change cities/states. Make sure rent is current and ghost your landlord. They won't come looking for you. Majority of housing these days has a literal mile long waiting list.Single don’t gotta be lonely
I’m single and ironically I be wanting to be left alone lol…having a big social circle can keep you occupied
of course
Happy I’m single at the moment. Ppl nowadays have zero resilience when it comes to this shyt and i don’t wanna waste anymore you time with someone who don’t wanna put the work in
Single don’t gotta be lonely
I’m single and ironically I be wanting to be left alone lol…having a big social circle can keep you occupied
This. And lonely in 2024 ain't what lonely was for our parents or grandparents era in like 1984 or somethin
Wit internet, online communities for shyt like gamin, sports, meetups it's always company really assumin real life friends been gettin married and don't got the time to chill. But there still a lot of single folk too. I mean maybe for those nikkas that always need a girlfriend and can't be by theyself for a while but bein "lonely" as a single man really ain't like that. It's not just being "bored" for marriage the difference in freedom and obligation is enormous.
DrBanneker
Space is the Place
I agree, chemistry is necessary. But I will also say my wife and I know a few people who threw away good relationships or marriages because "something was missing" and ended up regretting it after being on the dating scene post breakup/divorce.
Some people want a fairytale without working on the marriage--and it takes work and communication. Everyone has gaps that come apparent over time. It is bad to settle horribly but just as bad to not to try to compromise with someone's imperfections.
One of the biggest fallacies is people imagining a happy marriage is like an endless Brian McKnight song. Some marriages are toxic and can't be saved but in most you decide to make it better or give up.
DrBanneker
Space is the Place
Don't dump her yet...there are some bigger red flags here.
Is this a mainline church or a small evangelical one bordering on a cult? Have they tried to take up all her time and separate you two? If so, I would think about when they got into her life (after a tragedy or depression?) This may be more than her changing and her life may be falling into a dark place of control by these 'friends'.
Submitting to the husband is what most super religious churches teach. If they are separating her from you I would question their intent. Leave if you must, but if you leave she is going to fall even deeper and who knows what will happen to her.
DrBanneker
Space is the Place
Nah most lonely singles over consume screen time and even get radicalized by shut online. I argue this stuff and lack of community makes single people longer today.
threattonature
Veteran
I'm torn. On one hand people need to do A LOT more vetting before getting married and making sure it's the right person. So many people are more in love with getting married than they are with their partners. But I do fully agree with you on people not putting in enough work to make relationships work or using social media to judge how they think relationships should look versus how they actually are.
I had a real life example of a woman I knew who went chasing that excitement and ruined a perfectly good marriage then came to regret it.
I think I told the story on here before about my role in breaking up a happy home. Went out with some friends, and one of my friends had this woman with her who I thought was real cute. We ended up flirting but nothing happened because I found out she was married. She hit me up on FB and started flirting. The next week we all went out again and I ended up getting drunk and we had a long makeout session in a back section of the club. The other friends walked back and saw and got pissed.
The next day I told her I wasn't cool with that and we can never do it again. She agreed but then kept being really flirty and talking sexual and wanting to hook up. Then she mentioned she wants to leave her husband because her relationship was boring and how kissing me awoke something in her that let her know she's leaving him. I told her flat out that I would never hook up with her even if she left her husband. She admitted her husband is a good man and a great father who treats her well but just boring. I told her she needs to try and spice up her relationship and find ways to add more excitement to their marriage before giving up on it.
She told her husband she wants a divorce. Showed up on my doorstep multiple times drunk as shyt wanting to hook up. I didn't even answer the door. She showed me she was unhinged as fukk so I stayed away. She went on a full blown hoe streak. fukked a DJ at a local bar in the back seat of his car like a month later. Started getting ran through by a bunch of different guys. Realized that the hoe life wasn't as fun as she thought. She realized she left a good thing and wanted to work things out with the husband.
Meanwhile the husband realized she was getting her hoe on when he found a pregnancy test in their trash can (they were finishing out their lease). So he started dating and met someone new like a month after she left him. Within three months moved in with the new woman and engaged a few months later. The wife was pissed and started trashing him and calling him a piece of shyt for moving on so quickly and somehow now hates him for it. And had the nerve to get at me when I pointed out that she's the one that walked away and fukked up a good thing.
We'll still catch up every couple of months and every time there is some new guy in the picture who she thinks is the one and every time it's some sketchy ass situation. I will say shorty is wild too. She started swinging with some of her neighbors. She sent nudes of her in the pool with one of the other females she was swinging with. She would tell me stories about dudes fisting her, then later on telling me how some dude double fisted her like that shyt was supposed to turn me on lol.
The next day I told her I wasn't cool with that and we can never do it again. She agreed but then kept being really flirty and talking sexual and wanting to hook up. Then she mentioned she wants to leave her husband because her relationship was boring and how kissing me awoke something in her that let her know she's leaving him. I told her flat out that I would never hook up with her even if she left her husband. She admitted her husband is a good man and a great father who treats her well but just boring. I told her she needs to try and spice up her relationship and find ways to add more excitement to their marriage before giving up on it.
She told her husband she wants a divorce. Showed up on my doorstep multiple times drunk as shyt wanting to hook up. I didn't even answer the door. She showed me she was unhinged as fukk so I stayed away. She went on a full blown hoe streak. fukked a DJ at a local bar in the back seat of his car like a month later. Started getting ran through by a bunch of different guys. Realized that the hoe life wasn't as fun as she thought. She realized she left a good thing and wanted to work things out with the husband.
Meanwhile the husband realized she was getting her hoe on when he found a pregnancy test in their trash can (they were finishing out their lease). So he started dating and met someone new like a month after she left him. Within three months moved in with the new woman and engaged a few months later. The wife was pissed and started trashing him and calling him a piece of shyt for moving on so quickly and somehow now hates him for it. And had the nerve to get at me when I pointed out that she's the one that walked away and fukked up a good thing.
We'll still catch up every couple of months and every time there is some new guy in the picture who she thinks is the one and every time it's some sketchy ass situation. I will say shorty is wild too. She started swinging with some of her neighbors. She sent nudes of her in the pool with one of the other females she was swinging with. She would tell me stories about dudes fisting her, then later on telling me how some dude double fisted her like that shyt was supposed to turn me on lol.
Doing the work is so critical. Folks think relationships run themselves. Finding that right person who sees things similarly while am having their own shyt going on is crucial. I don’t want someone up under me m, needing me all day. I’d get a dog for that. (Though I am catset all day
)
I'm at an age where people around me have been together for 15+ years.
Reminds me of a line Louis CK said once.
Something like "my wife and I have been together for 20 years...so we're almost done"
He got divorced not long after that.
I guess things just run their course after a while.
When you're in your 40s and you have couples that have been together since HS or college ....it feels inevitable.
I sometimes wonder how people deal with marriage by this time. You've been together forever. The conversations are the same. The kids are graduating HS and going to college. They've been your focus for 15+ years. Now it's an empty house. You and your spouse. And you have to figure out how to be a couple again and focus on each other.
And the shyt seems to break down more often than not.
The sucky thing is that being single in your 40s or 50s is strange. The freedom has to be great. But the dating scene must be horrific.
Edit -- I just wanted to add, there probably is a "Second Childhood" component to this stuff that leads to divorce. Or maybe you call it a midlife crisis. But I do see some kind of desire to relive the old days. Or try to act like you're still young and you can party and get all kinds of romantic attention. And I suppose you can. But there are risks involved. I see it with some of my friends now. And no matter how much you try to warn them about how ugly things can get, some people seem intent on self destruction.
These people are feckless quitters and there’s no shame in divorce anymore plus it’s lucrative for lawyers and realtors. Mostly women filing that paperwork because there’s no downside.
Marriage is amazing if you listen to God and marry the right person and his word runs your household.
Vodun
All Star
Been divorced for 5 years now fukk marriage. We don't live in a environment that supports it anymore
The husband probably knew she was hoe before he married her. But some guys still think they can turn a hoe into a housewife. But she'll always go back to her true nature.
He's lucky they didn't have any kids. So he's probably escaping without hurting his pockets too much. Or catching some kind of incurable STD.