Dating is such a waste of time. I think I'm done with it
- Thread starter The Realist Perspective
- Start date
Alot of gems being dropped in this thread.
A woman is gonna know if you take her someplace that you always go... or you take her someplace out of your budget and comfort level.
You wont be able to hide it
This is what it is. OP either been dating women he don't like or women who don't like him and using him as a placeholder so she can get a free meal and attention.Sounds like you dating women who either
1. You dont like
2. Dont like you
If yall were both feeling each other, she would take u on dates too, yall would chill at the crib as well, and you would generally enjoy each others company.
Dates aint the problem breh... you wasting your time with women u dont actually like
This is like telling thirsty brehs in the desert not to worry about water. What’s not being said is that people’s circumstances are different, so while all this is easy to brehs like you, @Gold , @Booksnrain and others, the rest have to take baby steps to catch up to what you’ve already lived and learned.
datnigDASTARDLY
catching pigeons
Take her to the beach...at least you can see her half nekkit since you trying to see something 
Ironman
#Knickstape
Real shyt I got 3 numbers just because they said I seemed cool and not thirsty
Beautiful read.Since you said you genuinely try to understand, here is the deal.
The point of contact for men and women is sex. Men are the primary aggressors for sex. Women want sex too, but it works different for them
Sex for men is a low risk / high reward activity.
Sex for women however is a moderate risk / moderate reward activity.
Women have to worry about 4 main things that men don't.
1. Their Pleasure (It's not guaranteed for women, almost always guaranteed for men)
2. Their Social Status (She has sex with a lot of men, she's a hoe. He has sex with a lot of women, he's the man)
3. Their Safety (Women get raped and assaulted by men, men almost never get raped and assaulted by women)
5. Pregnancy (Mama's baby, Papa's maybe... and even then women don't want to go through the process of abortions, hormonal affects from birth control, etc)
So women are going to naturally look for an exchange to mitigate their risks and the prospect of a lesser reward.
Different women have different exchange rates... so it varies. The most common exchange is a committed relationship with a man of means; credentials, resources and connection.
Women want/need dates to process whether they can make the exchange. Dates give them time to cover their four main concerns.
If you can spend money and plan a nice date, carry a good conversation and prepare for a meetup, it shows her you actually... oh I dunno... care about the girl and don't look at her as just a body to fukk.
Telling a girl to just come over says... "I want you to take on more risk than me, and accept the prospect of a lesser reward for this activity... in exchange for virtually nothing." This is why women try to avoid doing that.
Born2BKing
Veteran
Only place I go on dates at is Starbucks. If they get a 2nd date it's a pizza spot. 3rd date she should be coming to the crib. 3 dates, and you spend about $25 dollars if that.
SheWantTheD
Veteran
OP tired of being a man
Tryna Makit
High plains drifter
As somebody currently in a rut.....all i can say is thats the game breh...
I feel that way everytime i go on a date and dont get no p*ssy afterwards...it sucks, but luckily i always go somewhere i wanna go so even if there's no chemistry im still gonna enjoy myself.
But i also enjoy seducing women tho, getting them to forsake their morals is kinda my thing...but it sounds like OP doesn't like to court them....to woo them....where's the romance OP?
I feel that way everytime i go on a date and dont get no p*ssy afterwards...it sucks, but luckily i always go somewhere i wanna go so even if there's no chemistry im still gonna enjoy myself.
But i also enjoy seducing women tho, getting them to forsake their morals is kinda my thing...but it sounds like OP doesn't like to court them....to woo them....where's the romance OP?
Laidbackman
All Star
I agree with just about everything you said here. But I can understand not meeting up at one or the others place on the first date, unless you really really feel comfortable with one another. Because it's much riskier for the woman, and sometimes even for the man.
Now that treating a girl out to eat at a restaurant on the first date, with the man footing the bill, is played out, and has always been unfair to the man, although they call this traditional. If that's traditional, then it's one wrong tradition, and needs to change, especially if it's an expensive restaurant. And it's even worst when you don't know if she's paying her own way, then put's the bill in your face, knowing that some women do like to pay half, or at least pay for what they ordered. Doing this, and only getting a kiss on her cheek, if you're lucky to get that, is what makes men feel it's better just buying booty. And even if she does pay her own way, you still have to pay yours, plus the tip more than likely, which can add up. Then you'll always have to worry about getting a weird acting waiter or waitress, who over-waits on you by interrupting your conversation a trillion times...smh. That's been my experience on a lot of dates, and even when I dine out alone. Then if you put the person waiting on you in check, the girl might get turned off, and think you're rude, like you don't know the difference between good service, or someone straight up harassing y'all. I don't know why women still want to go to these places, and take these risks, while pretending everything's normal. Meanwhile, all you're doing is making the restaurant rich, at the man's expense more than likely. This shyt has gotten old.
Myself, if it's spring or summer, I'd rather just eat something before I leave, and meet up at a nice public park some where, and do a little walk and chat, or chat at a picnic table over a soft-drink and a snack. Or even do it the old e-harmony way, and meetup at a coffee shop, or somewhere like that, especially if it's fall or winter...even though this would still work in the spring or summer. I gotta admit, the e-harmony advice was always more fair, and didn't recommend you take women out to a restaurant on a first date. This was a shock, because before e-harmony, White people were the ones trying to uphold that 'going to a restaurant on the first date' tradition.
As far as restaurants, that should be reserved for a girl you're already in a relationship with, or your wife, or you're wife and children. Again, I agree that giving a women a free meal on a first date, who gets an income just like you do, needs to be done away with. And even if you do eventually score by doing that, she'll probably have you taking her out to eat over and over again, almost like an escort instead of girlfriend or a girl who's wife material, until you speak up.
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buzzkill
All Star
just take them to get a smoothie or coffee or go to a park MAYBE a cheap breakfast/lunch at a local spot u been wanting to try...dinner and movies is only for a woman u know is really fukking with u, u already smashed, or you see potentially having a relationship with
if they aint down for something simple then they aint for you
if they aint down for something simple then they aint for you
Mirin4rmfar
Superstar
It all depends on your age, if you are in your 20's be prepared for women to give Ls all day. They are looking for perfection. I know a chick that has gone on 30 plus dates, none of the guys were good enough for her and those that were, handed her an L.
dont prioritize women, priortize career and money,.
dont prioritize women, priortize career and money,.
Ezekiel 25:17
Veteran
A lot of today's problems is men's fault. You chose the time and place. You chose to sit there and carry the conversation. If shyt ain't going well, shake her hand and ask to split the check, it's that simple.
Why do y'all always choose eating and movies anyway? shyt hella boring, there's lot of other things you could do for dates. Dancing for couples, amusement parks, hell even a picnic is better than movies/restuarants.
Why do y'all always choose eating and movies anyway? shyt hella boring, there's lot of other things you could do for dates. Dancing for couples, amusement parks, hell even a picnic is better than movies/restuarants.