Date from hell

[61 Corpses]

How much money could he make selling Ramen Noodles? They're like $5 for a pack of 800.

nikkas selling Roofi laced Ramens probably caking in $$$$$

 

[Remote]

Not me but my boy said he went a date with this chick who dressed up as a cat lol he said she pulled a bowl out her purse and poured water in it at the resturaunt then started licking it. She had on a collar and cat ears on her head the nikka still smashed her after too

i've been on way too many bad dates, i could write a book about my bad / crazy / ratchet dates. The most recent one was this chick i had been trying to get at for months. The sexy hip hop bohemian chic type. Our first date was really good, we talked about music and seemed to have alot in common...the second date....

I show up to pick her up, and she's already plastered. Cartoon drunk, rambling and squealing.

Me: You sure you want to go out tonight, your already pretty drunk.

Her: I know...hehehe...i'll only have one drink.

So we get to the bar, i buy her a beer. She immediately goes to the empty dance floor and is doing some kind of drunk cheerleader routine. Or drunk interpretive dance? After 5 mins of watching her embarass herself, she says buy me a drink.Nah bytch i just did, not my fault you dont know where u put it. Your cut off. I go to the bathroom, come back, and she's soliciting drinks from random cacswho all politely decline. So i'm like ok time to go. She screams "get your hands off me"and starts crying. I stuff her in the car and drive home. Whole ride i'm silent, she keeps asking me is anything wrong over and over. Told her unless you want to walk you should stop talking

Sounds like she was one of these uppity, neatly dressed classy girls (that's what I imagined when you said bohemian chic)...and she got plastered and crazy.
That's too bad. Sometimes the alcohol really does bring out a person's real self.

 

[Poitier]

You can't be an "ethical vegan" in a first world country. Literally EVERYTHING in a capitalistic system indirectly harms some animal somewhere.

 

[Elle Driver]

How much money could he make selling Ramen Noodles? They're like $5 for a pack of 800.

He was cakin, then the man shut down his whole operation. He on lock down now. Anotha bruva lost who got caught up in the mix tryna make a dolla out of 15 cents.

nikkas selling Roofi laced Ramens probably caking in $$$$$

That nikka was smart as hell, he was just a bum living in the projects luring bytches into his project apartment in Bronx River tryna get them to sell his shyt on the street.

You can't be an "ethical vegan" in a first world country. Literally EVERYTHING in a capitalistic system indirectly harms some animal somewhere.

Let me rock yo. I'm just a piece of shyt, being a vegan makes me feel like I'm an honorable person.

 

[Illuminatos]

I'm 99% sure he drugged me. I woke up on his couch and he was having sex with another girl on the other couch.

I only had 2 drinks, and remember nothing after leaving the bar except that. He didn't do anything to me though. Strange as it sounds, thank god that other girl was there My guess is even in my drugged state, I wouldn't do anything with him....

Give me his name...I'll teach him a lesson.

 

[Remote]

I had one about a year or 2 ago with this chick I met from POF. She had been trying to get up with me for over and a week and even invited me over to her place for dinner. I declined since my boy was coming into town that evening. So she invited me to a college football game on a Saturday. At first I was hesitant because I thought what if I'm not feeling this chick...I have to sit through a 3 hour game with her but I ignored my gut feeling and agreed to go with her. I thought we would hit it off because we had good conversations through text, email, and over the phone. I just knew I was on the come up too. Shorty was 29, no kids, getting her masters, could cook, and had a decent body but when I met her in person she had a lazy eye. I didn't really mind because it wasn't really noticeable and I couldn't even tell in her pics. What really got me was the sound she kept making with her nose and it was annoying the hell out of me. She kept laughing at her own jokes and they weren't even funny. I sat there in silence for about 2 quarters thinking how could I get myself out of this mess I almost just left the stadium and left her stranded, her car was about 3 miles away but I stuck it out and stayed for the whole game. After the game she wanted to go out to eat but I told her I was tired and needed a nap from such a long day. I dropped her off at her car and she wouldn't move from out in front of my car until I hugged her I literally sat there for 30 secs and thought about it hitting her with my jeep but that probably would of turned her on. So I get a text from her later that night saying she had a great time and she asked if I wanted to go with her to the fair the next day. I told her I already had plans. This bytch proceeds to cuss me out via text because I didn't want to spend time with her. I was all ready to go in on her but just ignored her but she kept blowing my phone up talking about she was sorry for acting that way and I'm such a nice guy and how it would never happen again

After about 30 text and emails from her I just said look there won't be anymore dates and you seemed to have some issues and good luck in the future. About 5 months later she sends me a bikini pic of her in Jamaica celebrating her 30th bday.

30 texts and emails.
I almost have to applaud her level of thirst. But that's wild.

 

[Remote]

I'd say that nothing was out of hell...just a couple of rude idiots who think that acting like a bad boy is going to give them some kind of an advantage.

Probably the worst was this jacked-up Persian guy who was way too into himself. I ended up parking at his place cause he lives in an area where restaurants etc are walking distance. We walked over to this pizza joint...nothing fancy, even. The entire time, he talked about himself...how much money he makes blah blah and how I should come back to his place for sex. I politely declined. He basically had a "You're missing out cause my dikk is huge" attitude. So then, we go to leave and he looks at me and says "Oh I don't have cash or my credit card" and he knew the guy working there cause I guess he goes a lot since it's right by where he lives...I just said "Well, I got mine so..." paid for mine and he told the dude he'll get him later...the guy laughed and said "Okay, no problem"

Then, we were walking back to my car and he held me up saying how on our 2nd date, he'll take me to an expensive restaurant and pay...I was like "What 2nd date?" I just said good night and went home.

That was crazy. It never really occurs to me that people that self-centered exist.
And to not even have money to pay for a slice of pizza is a disgrace.

 

[Desirous]

That was crazy. It never really occurs to me that people that self-centered exist.
And to not even have money to pay for a slice of pizza is a disgrace.

Dude had money...he was just playing games.

 

[Remote]

This thread has potential

No real bad "dates" but I have a story that's is damn near the epitome of Ludacris ft Snoop Dogg Who let these Hoes in my room...Five black hoes and they looked like trash but one was a midget so we'll say four and a half...Well it was 3 but yea I might type it later, I gotta paper to write

You slept with 4 women and a midget?

 

[Illuminatos]

You slept with 4 women and a midget?

So that's 4 and a half women.

 

[Remote]

This guy was trying to get at me so hard this summer. I wasn't feeling him but he kept saying he wanted to just be my friend and take me out in the city. So I let him. He took me to some pretty good spots and knows everyone in the nightclub/bar scene so it's cool. Anyway, he asks me to go Archives one day. It's all good and fine. We are walking back to his place and...

Him: That's my girl
Me: Girl?
Her: *On the other side of the street looking mad as hell*
Him: Oh shyt
Her: *runs into traffic to get to his ass* WTF ARE YOU DOING? THE GIRL AT THE FRONT SAYS YOU HAVE BEEN HAVING WOMEN IN OUR HOME!
Him: *Deer in headlights*
Her: GIVE ME THE KEYS TO MY fukkING CAR!
Him: I don't have them. They are at the house
Her: YOU ARE A LYING MOTHERfukkER! THEN GIVE ME $ FOR A CAB. I NEED TO GET TO A JOB INTERVIEW!
Him: I don't have any money
Her: YOU ARE A GOD DAMN LIAR! I GAVE YOU A $100 THIS MORNING!
Him: *Deer in headlights*
Her: *Looks at me* Are you suppose to be dating him?
Me:Nah.
Her: *goes back to cussing him out*
Me:

At that point I walk to a park to eat the food he had bought me and call my girl friend and tell her about this funny shyt. When I get there he starts blowing up my phone telling me how sorry he was. He come to the park and tries to feed me this line about her being his "crazy" ex. I just eat and listen to this lying fool. Needlessly to say that was the end of that.

Wow. That really sounds like some TV show drama. LOL

 

[Remote]

back when i was 18 i was in desperation mode. was driving and this vampire looking chubby redhead pulled up next to me at a red light. she was eyeing me and waving and shyt .she was prolly a 3/10 but i had been doing nothing but masturbating and drinking beer for the past year so i figured i needed to get back in the game and start slow by smashing a fatty. i told her to follow me and we pulled over at a park. we walked around and then she gave me typical above average fat chick head. right after the nut in my head i was . but whatever i gave her my number because i felt bad. she called me for 6 months in a row, no lie, with me not answering even one time. she would leave messages on my voicemail as long as you could. and not just once, im taking like 50 plus 10 minutes messages. i ended up changing my number she was crazy.


no joke all of her messages where like this but 10 min long

Post-nut clarity hits us all, my friend.

 

[L&HH]

You slept with 4 women and a midget?

No, I didnt touch any of them. A homie of mine was talking to one of the bytches (myspace, fat angle pics, neck up, all the tell tell signs). He asked shawty to come kick it with us, one of the homies ppls were gone for the weeknd (this is high school btw). She said she was going to bring two friends and it was me, homie 1 (who knew the chick), homie 2, and homie 3(who's house it was but he had a girl so he may have or have not done anything)...I'll finish up later

 

[L&HH]

I could have but where is the fun in that? Besides, I don't mind questions.

But you won't answer all questions, so in a sense you do mind

 

[Illuminatos]

I'd say that nothing was out of hell...just a couple of rude idiots who think that acting like a bad boy is going to give them some kind of an advantage.

Probably the worst was this jacked-up Persian guy who was way too into himself. I ended up parking at his place cause he lives in an area where restaurants etc are walking distance. We walked over to this pizza joint...nothing fancy, even. The entire time, he talked about himself...how much money he makes blah blah and how I should come back to his place for sex. I politely declined. He basically had a "You're missing out cause my dikk is huge" attitude. So then, we go to leave and he looks at me and says "Oh I don't have cash or my credit card" and he knew the guy working there cause I guess he goes a lot since it's right by where he lives...I just said "Well, I got mine so..." paid for mine and he told the dude he'll get him later...the guy laughed and said "Okay, no problem"

Then, we were walking back to my car and he held me up saying how on our 2nd date, he'll take me to an expensive restaurant and pay...I was like "What 2nd date?" I just said good night and went home.

Textbook douchebag