Come in here an post that real life ether

[RJY33]

How has this thread not gone plat? Some classics dropped in here

 

[MBwithadream]

This is long but. . . Oh well. You ever fukk a girl that nobody is supposed to know about? A fat girl. . .

Well I was in the Navy. We were getting ready to ship out for three weeks and I was in this local bar trolling for some strange before we left the next morning. All of a sudden this chick walks in. . Big ol titays but bigger gut.

But she was down for the get down. She asked for me to drive her home. . On the way she says how about a hotel I figure why not. I will never see her again and I will get a chance to run up in something. For some reason that night I was a super machine. I fukked ol girl all night. Dropped her ass off at home in the morning and went to the ship. I never even told her my real name. . only my nickname.

Fast forward three weeks later. What me and my boys used to do was what we called " ugly wife watch " When the ship was pulling into the berth we would chill outside and look at all the ugly navy wives on the pier waiting for their husbands. Well my homie goes. . WE GOT A WINNER!! LOOK AT THIS TRAVESTY!

I grab the binoculars. Its ol girl!! She is out there with a sheer white and lace outfit on. Short ass skirt and her titays were out everywhere. So was her stomach. scusthov My boys are all howling! They cant wait to see who she is coming to see.

Im scared brehs. And I am confused. HOW THE HELL DID SHE FIND ME? Found out later she knew that my ship was pulling out the next day. . I told her that. So she went to the Base Quarterdeck and they told her what ship left on what day. She then found out where we were berthed at. . She then walked in the parking lot and saw my car so she knew where I would be and when we were coming back. This chick CSI'd the game to find me.

But she still does not know my name. BUT! BUT!! Never underestimate the power of nikkas. We pull in. She walks up the ship. . . All the black dudes CANNOT WAIT to see who she is coming for. . She gets on but does not know my name. She is trying to describe to the guy on watch who I am. . . Then she mentions my car. THEY ALL KNOW.

I am not ashamed to admit. . I ran. . . I hid in a empty rack. . Closed the curtains and went to sleep. They were calling my name on the intercom for like 30 min straight. The wolves on the ship were ruthless. They looked for me everywhere and they INVITED her on the ship. About 30 dudes were chilling in the mess hall with her waiting on me to show. I was

Long story short. They started talking to her. . She told them how I fukked her like she had never been fukked.. How I was amazing and that she wanted me again. Told them she did not have a car. She walked on the base. Which had to be at least 5 miles. ( i felt bad about that. ) She ended up staying on the ship waiting for me for 3 hours!

The next morning I crawl out of the rack and the wolves descended on my ass. I denied denied denied. . But I was caught brehs.

What wrong with fat coochie, it was good enough for the hotel.

Scust at making that girl walk 5 miles.

all she wanted was a jimmy.

Spoiler

 

[MBwithadream]

shyt breh where do I start? Aight I got one

Not too long after I got to Wa I met this chick, luckily a homeboy of mine had put me on game about them military groupies just out to get a check. I was 19 and she was 27, 3 kids by 2 different dudes who were also In the navy and her youngest kid's father was on my ship, I knew him. After a while of fukkin her it became really easy to see she was tryin to trap a nikka (bytch tried to corner me Into pricing engagement rings wit her, that was the last straw), I was still fresh in the game so i didn't know how I was gonna get her off me. So I gave my homeboy her number, he hit her up, said he met a while ago and he just got back from deployment, and she let him fukk, so i threw that in her face and she finally realized I was serious, then some how the homie turns around and does the same thing, passes her to one of his homies. Fast forward a couple of months, a ship from another base in Wa came to our base for like 6 months for maintenance, so there was a bunch of new cats walk-in around the base. Ol' girl ends up gettin a job at the rec center ( bytch turned hunting for BD #3 into a full time job). One day me and a couple of homies are chilling in the rec center playin madden, and we start talkin about how we all fucced the chick and now she work there, after minute of talkin about her dude who was playin a game on the tv behind us turns around and says "come on mane, thas my girlfriend!", in his face, all of us just

Here you want this,
*passes the object*

 

[twan83]

i was walking to 7/11 from the gym after my workout and the cops pulled up too me saying i should be school not ditching i gave them the face saying im an adult and they said no ur not get in the car so we can take u too school and i was like NO and then they got all serious and shyt yelling and i was like

i'll just show u my id and they said no need too we know u go to high school yelling at me so i was like whatever

so i went with them cuz the 7/11 is across from the school and they said we found a student cutting class please check him in

lady at front desk ask for my name i said im an grown ass man but here is my name and couldnt find it

she asked the cops did yall check his id they said no cuz he looked too young and then i pulled it out and they had that face

i had that face so they apologized too me i said the least yall could do is go buy me a dozen of donuts and drop me off at my place which they did

 

[Racked Up]

had to come back to read at @General Mills story again

for all yall stories...

who got more

 

[sfgiants]

i knew this girl from h.s who was a solid 7/10, but had low self esteem. around age 20 she moved in with some 29 year old loser who lost his job and ended up smokin weed n drinking all day long while she took over paying rent

anyway he didnt have a car so he'd borrow hers. she was at work and when it was quittin' time she calls him up to pick her up. no answer. calls the crib, no answer. she eventually asks for a ride and gets dropped off home, goes up stairs and finds him having orgasms with some other bytch.

so she goes in a rage and njumps on them while they're making sweet love, and he pushes her off and she falls and cracks those big mirror sliding doors on the closet. then the bytch he was banging gets up and starts fighting with her, and eventually she gets thrown down the stairs in her own apartment

long story short. she was back with him a month later
she is now around 220 pounds, she was like 110-115lbs at the time

 

[Racked Up]

i knew this girl from h.s who was a solid 7/10, but had low self esteem. around age 20 she moved in with some 29 year old loser who lost his job and ended up smokin weed n drinking all day long while she took over paying rent

anyway he didnt have a car so he'd borrow hers. she was at work and when it was quittin' time she calls him up to pick her up. no answer. calls the crib, no answer. she eventually asks for a ride and gets dropped off home, goes up stairs and finds him having orgasms with some other bytch.

so she goes in a rage and njumps on them while they're making sweet love, and he pushes her off and she falls and cracks those big mirror sliding doors on the closet. then the bytch he was banging gets up and starts fighting with her, and eventually she gets thrown down the stairs in her own apartment

long story short. she was back with him a month later
she is now around 220 pounds, she was like 110-115lbs at the time

Dam.....that L....

Turned her whole life around

i was walking to 7/11 from the gym after my workout and the cops pulled up too me saying i should be school not ditching i gave them the face saying im an adult and they said no ur not get in the car so we can take u too school and i was like NO and then they got all serious and shyt yelling and i was like

i'll just show u my id and they said no need too we know u go to high school yelling at me so i was like whatever

so i went with them cuz the 7/11 is across from the school and they said we found a student cutting class please check him in

lady at front desk ask for my name i said im an grown ass man but here is my name and couldnt find it

she asked the cops did yall check his id they said no cuz he looked too young and then i pulled it out and they had that face

i had that face so they apologized too me i said the least yall could do is go buy me a dozen of donuts and drop me off at my place which they did

I can see this happening to me one day

 

[DreadHead P]

Man I tried to put this ethering in that box wit Mike Lowery's moms titties but I think I'm ready to face it now

I was like 19, in the navy, me and my boy had these 2 sisters in San Diego we was fuccin wit. These were 2 of the hoodest bytches I have ever met, the one I was fukkin wasn't as wild as the sister but she was still a hood rat, she was 22, had 2 kids by 2 nikkas who weren't around and she was just always into some hoodrat shyt. The sister my man's was fuccin was such a fuccin hood rat I nicknamed her Thug Life, she was like 19, had 3 kids by 2 nikkas who weren't around, had did time for armed robbery, always had a story of some while shyt happening to her, I remember we went to see them one time and she had a black eye, it took a while to get the story out of her but supposedly her ex just snapped out the blue, came to her house, drug her out and thru her in the trunk of his car and just drove to the beach and sat for a while, then let her out and left her, this dumb hoe even tatted my dudes name across the back of her neck BEFORE he ever even hit it. They were both cute but needless to say these were some bottom shelf SE SD bytches.

So the ship goes to SD one time and me and my dude already knew what we was tryin to get into. Soon as we hit port we hit em up, my chick was at work and told me she was gone hit me back, his chick answered and told us to come thru. So we get to their crib and I notice the sister goin in and out of her room to argue on the phone wit my chick. Then my chick calls me and says "you gone be mad", I'm like "why you on your period?, she says "go in my room and look in the closet", I look in the closet and its full of navy uniforms. I knew what the deal was as soon as I saw em, she got some military nikka stayin up in there. That shyt didn't surprise me, I honestly wouldn't have been surprised if I found out they was sellin p*ssy out that house too so I really didn't give a fukk, I was still tryin to get mine before he got there so I could go about my business. When my chick got there her and her sister argued for like 20 minutes because she was mad she told us both to come without runnin it pass her knowin she got a nikka stayin there wit her. By the time they stopped fighting and I got to really talk to ol girl the nikka was pullin up. He walked in, looked at all 4 of us just sittin there, then went in the room and closed the door. She tried to give me the whole "I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you" shyt but I honestly didn't even care enough to hear it, I just assumed that since shyt was dead for me my mans was gone be down to leave too, only it didn't go down like that. She went in the room wit the nikka, and my man still wanted to fukk so he went in the room wit his chick, me and him went half on the cab and all I had on me was my half for us to get back so I couldn't just leave. All I could do was sit there on the couch and listen to him fukk his girl and that nikka fukk my girl while I sipped on some Malibu they had in the fridge

I tried to to bury this L deep, but I think it's time to face it and let the healing process begin, give it to me brehs (n/h), I deserve it

 

[beenz]

shyt breh where do I start? Aight I got one

Not too long after I got to Wa I met this chick, luckily a homeboy of mine had put me on game about them military groupies just out to get a check. I was 19 and she was 27, 3 kids by 2 different dudes who were also In the navy and her youngest kid's father was on my ship, I knew him. After a while of fukkin her it became really easy to see she was tryin to trap a nikka (bytch tried to corner me Into pricing engagement rings wit her, that was the last straw), I was still fresh in the game so i didn't know how I was gonna get her off me. So I gave my homeboy her number, he hit her up, said he met a while ago and he just got back from deployment, and she let him fukk, so i threw that in her face and she finally realized I was serious, then some how the homie turns around and does the same thing, passes her to one of his homies. Fast forward a couple of months, a ship from another base in Wa came to our base for like 6 months for maintenance, so there was a bunch of new cats walk-in around the base. Ol' girl ends up gettin a job at the rec center ( bytch turned hunting for BD #3 into a full time job). One day me and a couple of homies are chilling in the rec center playin madden, and we start talkin about how we all fucced the chick and now she work there, after minute of talkin about her dude who was playin a game on the tv behind us turns around and says "come on mane, thas my girlfriend!", in his face, all of us just

:deadkobe:

 

[Rawtid]

Here is one
I went on a date with a girl from POF she look bad as hell but when i picked her up

I was like SHE BIG AS A WHALE
I knew better though since it was only face pics but anyways
I was like its cool she could be a sweetheart size dont matter and it didnt really either but something caught my attention though

She came to my car i drove at that time a SUV she sat in my car NO JOKE MY CAR WAS TILTING TO HER SIDE

Im like ah shyt. Made it kind of hard to drive so we go to the movies. she didnt order no food or anything but everybody looking at me like

Man we had to sit in the HANDICAP SEATS so i was like it is what it is. Were Watching 2012 my ass fell asleep on her. Man she was comfortable to sleep on i woke up at the end of the movie in between her chest didnt even realize it.

Long story short: Being a nice guy that i was i still took her out went to movies and she said im not her type cuz im TOO SMALL

LMMFAO!!!

 

[Mass]

Man I tried to put this ethering in that box wit Mike Lowery's moms titties but I think I'm ready to face it now

I was like 19, in the navy, me and my boy had these 2 sisters in San Diego we was fuccin wit. These were 2 of the hoodest bytches I have ever met, the one I was fukkin wasn't as wild as the sister but she was still a hood rat, she was 22, had 2 kids by 2 nikkas who weren't around and she was just always into some hoodrat shyt. The sister my man's was fuccin was such a fuccin hood rat I nicknamed her Thug Life, she was like 19, had 3 kids by 2 nikkas who weren't around, had did time for armed robbery, always had a story of some while shyt happening to her, I remember we went to see them one time and she had a black eye, it took a while to get the story out of her but supposedly her ex just snapped out the blue, came to her house, drug her out and thru her in the trunk of his car and just drove to the beach and sat for a while, then let her out and left her, this dumb hoe even tatted my dudes name across the back of her neck BEFORE he ever even hit it. They were both cute but needless to say these were some bottom shelf SE SD bytches.

So the ship goes to SD one time and me and my dude already knew what we was tryin to get into. Soon as we hit port we hit em up, my chick was at work and told me she was gone hit me back, his chick answered and told us to come thru. So we get to their crib and I notice the sister goin in and out of her room to argue on the phone wit my chick. Then my chick calls me and says "you gone be mad", I'm like "why you on your period?, she says "go in my room and look in the closet", I look in the closet and its full of navy uniforms. I knew what the deal was as soon as I saw em, she got some military nikka stayin up in there. That shyt didn't surprise me, I honestly wouldn't have been surprised if I found out they was sellin p*ssy out that house too so I really didn't give a fukk, I was still tryin to get mine before he got there so I could go about my business. When my chick got there her and her sister argued for like 20 minutes because she was mad she told us both to come without runnin it pass her knowin she got a nikka stayin there wit her. By the time they stopped fighting and I got to really talk to ol girl the nikka was pullin up. He walked in, looked at all 4 of us just sittin there, then went in the room and closed the door. She tried to give me the whole "I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you" shyt but I honestly didn't even care enough to hear it, I just assumed that since shyt was dead for me my mans was gone be down to leave too, only it didn't go down like that. She went in the room wit the nikka, and my man still wanted to fukk so he went in the room wit his chick, me and him went half on the cab and all I had on me was my half for us to get back so I couldn't just leave. All I could do was sit there on the couch and listen to him fukk his girl and that nikka fukk my girl while I sipped on some Malibu they had in the fridge

I tried to to bury this L deep, but I think it's time to face it and let the healing process begin, give it to me brehs (n/h), I deserve it

My nikka sat on the couch and sipped some L while simultaneously catching an L ....

I would've left tho RT... Maybe not far but like went to the park or something, i couldn't take that ether

 

[DreadHead P]

My nikka sat on the couch and sipped some L while simultaneously catching an L ....

I would've left tho RT... Maybe not far but like went to the park or something, i couldn't take that ether

I wanted to leave but these bytches lived in the HOOD, and I was in an unfamiliar place, I didn't live in SD we just used to go there for a couple of days every so often, plus the one time I went to her crib by myself before that I had some of the crips from around the way try to roll up on me so I wasn't tryin to be walkin around there by myself

 

[HalfwayHandsome]

classic stuff in here

 

[rocksteady]

This is long but. . . Oh well. You ever fukk a girl that nobody is supposed to know about? A fat girl. . .

Well I was in the Navy. We were getting ready to ship out for three weeks and I was in this local bar trolling for some strange before we left the next morning. All of a sudden this chick walks in. . Big ol titays but bigger gut.

But she was down for the get down. She asked for me to drive her home. . On the way she says how about a hotel I figure why not. I will never see her again and I will get a chance to run up in something. For some reason that night I was a super machine. I fukked ol girl all night. Dropped her ass off at home in the morning and went to the ship. I never even told her my real name. . only my nickname.

Fast forward three weeks later. What me and my boys used to do was what we called " ugly wife watch " When the ship was pulling into the berth we would chill outside and look at all the ugly navy wives on the pier waiting for their husbands. Well my homie goes. . WE GOT A WINNER!! LOOK AT THIS TRAVESTY!

I grab the binoculars. Its ol girl!! She is out there with a sheer white and lace outfit on. Short ass skirt and her titays were out everywhere. So was her stomach. My boys are all howling! They cant wait to see who she is coming to see.

Im scared brehs. And I am confused. HOW THE HELL DID SHE FIND ME? Found out later she knew that my ship was pulling out the next day. . I told her that. So she went to the Base Quarterdeck and they told her what ship left on what day. She then found out where we were berthed at. . She then walked in the parking lot and saw my car so she knew where I would be and when we were coming back. This chick CSI'd the game to find me.

But she still does not know my name. BUT! BUT!! Never underestimate the power of nikkas. We pull in. She walks up the ship. . . All the black dudes CANNOT WAIT to see who she is coming for. . She gets on but does not know my name. She is trying to describe to the guy on watch who I am. . . Then she mentions my car. THEY ALL KNOW.

I am not ashamed to admit. . I ran. . . I hid in a empty rack. . Closed the curtains and went to sleep. They were calling my name on the intercom for like 30 min straight. The wolves on the ship were ruthless. They looked for me everywhere and they INVITED her on the ship. About 30 dudes were chilling in the mess hall with her waiting on me to show. I was

Long story short. They started talking to her. . She told them how I fukked her like she had never been fukked.. How I was amazing and that she wanted me again. Told them she did not have a car. She walked on the base. Which had to be at least 5 miles. ( i felt bad about that. ) She ended up staying on the ship waiting for me for 3 hours!

The next morning I crawl out of the rack and the wolves descended on my ass. I denied denied denied. . But I was caught brehs.

@Brooklynzson and @bk

the post i quoted is one of the main reasons we need rep back, imo.

the masterful imagery used in this fine storyteller's anecdote is

surely, deserving of a dap and especially rep - separating it from other quality posts made to seem oh so ordinary, compared to what we have here...






Peace

 

[Renkz]

This is long but. . . Oh well. You ever fukk a girl that nobody is supposed to know about? A fat girl. . .

Well I was in the Navy. We were getting ready to ship out for three weeks and I was in this local bar trolling for some strange before we left the next morning. All of a sudden this chick walks in. . Big ol titays but bigger gut.

But she was down for the get down. She asked for me to drive her home. . On the way she says how about a hotel I figure why not. I will never see her again and I will get a chance to run up in something. For some reason that night I was a super machine. I fukked ol girl all night. Dropped her ass off at home in the morning and went to the ship. I never even told her my real name. . only my nickname.

Fast forward three weeks later. What me and my boys used to do was what we called " ugly wife watch " When the ship was pulling into the berth we would chill outside and look at all the ugly navy wives on the pier waiting for their husbands. Well my homie goes. . WE GOT A WINNER!! LOOK AT THIS TRAVESTY!

I grab the binoculars. Its ol girl!! She is out there with a sheer white and lace outfit on. Short ass skirt and her titays were out everywhere. So was her stomach. My boys are all howling! They cant wait to see who she is coming to see.

Im scared brehs. And I am confused. HOW THE HELL DID SHE FIND ME? Found out later she knew that my ship was pulling out the next day. . I told her that. So she went to the Base Quarterdeck and they told her what ship left on what day. She then found out where we were berthed at. . She then walked in the parking lot and saw my car so she knew where I would be and when we were coming back. This chick CSI'd the game to find me.

But she still does not know my name. BUT! BUT!! Never underestimate the power of nikkas. We pull in. She walks up the ship. . . All the black dudes CANNOT WAIT to see who she is coming for. . She gets on but does not know my name. She is trying to describe to the guy on watch who I am. . . Then she mentions my car. THEY ALL KNOW.

I am not ashamed to admit. . I ran. . . I hid in a empty rack. . Closed the curtains and went to sleep. They were calling my name on the intercom for like 30 min straight. The wolves on the ship were ruthless. They looked for me everywhere and they INVITED her on the ship. About 30 dudes were chilling in the mess hall with her waiting on me to show. I was

Long story short. They started talking to her. . She told them how I fukked her like she had never been fukked.. How I was amazing and that she wanted me again. Told them she did not have a car. She walked on the base. Which had to be at least 5 miles. ( i felt bad about that. ) She ended up staying on the ship waiting for me for 3 hours!

The next morning I crawl out of the rack and the wolves descended on my ass. I denied denied denied. . But I was caught brehs.