Come in here an post that real life ether

[Behind-the-wheel]

i was walking to 7/11 from the gym after my workout and the cops pulled up too me saying i should be school not ditching i gave them the face saying im an adult and they said no ur not get in the car so we can take u too school and i was like NO and then they got all serious and shyt yelling and i was like

i'll just show u my id and they said no need too we know u go to high school yelling at me so i was like whatever

so i went with them cuz the 7/11 is across from the school and they said we found a student cutting class please check him in

lady at front desk ask for my name i said im an grown ass man but here is my name and couldnt find it

she asked the cops did yall check his id they said no cuz he looked too young and then i pulled it out and they had that face

i had that face so they apologized too me i said the least yall could do is go buy me a dozen of donuts and drop me off at my place which they did

OMG WIN!!

 

[SchrodingersStrapped!]

This is long but. . . Oh well. You ever fukk a girl that nobody is supposed to know about? A fat girl. . .

Well I was in the Navy. We were getting ready to ship out for three weeks and I was in this local bar trolling for some strange before we left the next morning. All of a sudden this chick walks in. . Big ol titays but bigger gut.

But she was down for the get down. She asked for me to drive her home. . On the way she says how about a hotel I figure why not. I will never see her again and I will get a chance to run up in something. For some reason that night I was a super machine. I fukked ol girl all night. Dropped her ass off at home in the morning and went to the ship. I never even told her my real name. . only my nickname.

Fast forward three weeks later. What me and my boys used to do was what we called " ugly wife watch " When the ship was pulling into the berth we would chill outside and look at all the ugly navy wives on the pier waiting for their husbands. Well my homie goes. . WE GOT A WINNER!! LOOK AT THIS TRAVESTY!

I grab the binoculars. Its ol girl!! She is out there with a sheer white and lace outfit on. Short ass skirt and her titays were out everywhere. So was her stomach. My boys are all howling! They cant wait to see who she is coming to see.

Im scared brehs. And I am confused. HOW THE HELL DID SHE FIND ME? Found out later she knew that my ship was pulling out the next day. . I told her that. So she went to the Base Quarterdeck and they told her what ship left on what day. She then found out where we were berthed at. . She then walked in the parking lot and saw my car so she knew where I would be and when we were coming back. This chick CSI'd the game to find me.

But she still does not know my name. BUT! BUT!! Never underestimate the power of nikkas. We pull in. She walks up the ship. . . All the black dudes CANNOT WAIT to see who she is coming for. . She gets on but does not know my name. She is trying to describe to the guy on watch who I am. . . Then she mentions my car. THEY ALL KNOW.

I am not ashamed to admit. . I ran. . . I hid in a empty rack. . Closed the curtains and went to sleep. They were calling my name on the intercom for like 30 min straight. The wolves on the ship were ruthless. They looked for me everywhere and they INVITED her on the ship. About 30 dudes were chilling in the mess hall with her waiting on me to show. I was

Long story short. They started talking to her. . She told them how I fukked her like she had never been fukked.. How I was amazing and that she wanted me again. Told them she did not have a car. She walked on the base. Which had to be at least 5 miles. ( i felt bad about that. ) She ended up staying on the ship waiting for me for 3 hours!

The next morning I crawl out of the rack and the wolves descended on my ass. I denied denied denied. . But I was caught brehs.

 

[Ziploc]

This is long but. . . Oh well. You ever fukk a girl that nobody is supposed to know about? A fat girl. . .

Well I was in the Navy. We were getting ready to ship out for three weeks and I was in this local bar trolling for some strange before we left the next morning. All of a sudden this chick walks in. . Big ol titays but bigger gut.

But she was down for the get down. She asked for me to drive her home. . On the way she says how about a hotel I figure why not. I will never see her again and I will get a chance to run up in something. For some reason that night I was a super machine. I fukked ol girl all night. Dropped her ass off at home in the morning and went to the ship. I never even told her my real name. . only my nickname.

Fast forward three weeks later. What me and my boys used to do was what we called " ugly wife watch " When the ship was pulling into the berth we would chill outside and look at all the ugly navy wives on the pier waiting for their husbands. Well my homie goes. . WE GOT A WINNER!! LOOK AT THIS TRAVESTY!

I grab the binoculars. Its ol girl!! She is out there with a sheer white and lace outfit on. Short ass skirt and her titays were out everywhere. So was her stomach. My boys are all howling! They cant wait to see who she is coming to see.

Im scared brehs. And I am confused. HOW THE HELL DID SHE FIND ME? Found out later she knew that my ship was pulling out the next day. . I told her that. So she went to the Base Quarterdeck and they told her what ship left on what day. She then found out where we were berthed at. . She then walked in the parking lot and saw my car so she knew where I would be and when we were coming back. This chick CSI'd the game to find me.

But she still does not know my name. BUT! BUT!! Never underestimate the power of nikkas. We pull in. She walks up the ship. . . All the black dudes CANNOT WAIT to see who she is coming for. . She gets on but does not know my name. She is trying to describe to the guy on watch who I am. . . Then she mentions my car. THEY ALL KNOW.

I am not ashamed to admit. . I ran. . . I hid in a empty rack. . Closed the curtains and went to sleep. They were calling my name on the intercom for like 30 min straight. The wolves on the ship were ruthless. They looked for me everywhere and they INVITED her on the ship. About 30 dudes were chilling in the mess hall with her waiting on me to show. I was

Long story short. They started talking to her. . She told them how I fukked her like she had never been fukked.. How I was amazing and that she wanted me again. Told them she did not have a car. She walked on the base. Which had to be at least 5 miles. ( i felt bad about that. ) She ended up staying on the ship waiting for me for 3 hours!

The next morning I crawl out of the rack and the wolves descended on my ass. I denied denied denied. . But I was caught brehs.

Best story of the month..I was

 

[Behind-the-wheel]

Okay, my turn.
When I lived in Florida for a minute, I went by my buddys job to pick him up before we hit the jazz club after work.
This was my first time in his facility and when I went in I peeped this FINE ass secretary that took my info before I went to his office.
The view standing at her desk was all...

Even though she was a little homely in the face...it was MANDATORY that I got her number!!
So I head over to my buddys office thinking of how I'm gonna kick it to the secretary and get her digits.
My buddy is coming down the hall with his jacket on some "Lets roll" tip...so I give him dap and about face back towards the door.
I couldn't think of anything so I just roll up to the Double-D secretary and say "Hey honey, I wanna take you out later...can I get your number?".
She looks up at me and smiles and starts writing down her number on a post-it.
I take her number and give her the knowing I'm gonna be face-first in them titties by saturday night.
Meanwhile my man is like...

I start walking over to the door wondering why he's giving me that look like I done messed up....
Bit-tittay secretary gets up to lock up the door behind us and that's when I saw it...

The girl was built like a barrel and walked like those aliens from "Mac & Me".


But I grinned and accepted my fate.
I had to see them titties.


So friday night comes and I call her and give her the biz over the phone. She's giggling and eager to meet up, I'm thinking it's gonna be half an hour at the restaurant and then back to my place for me to knock a hole in her back and get up in them tittays!
So I meet her at her place and she comes out in a damn 50's hoop skirt lookin like a set extra from back to the future. I was thinkin like "What the fukk have I gotten myself into!?!?!"


She gets in and is all giggly and happy like she just dropped ecstasy or something and I ask her where she'd like to eat.
She says "McDonalds"...
I'm like ...what the hell is wrong with this girl. I don't eat that garbage!
So we go to mcdonalds and the girl WOULD....NOT....SHUT...UP!!!
Not to mention she's doing that damn "Mac & Me" shuffle and people in mcdonalds are looking at me and .
Never been so embarrassed on a damn date before...ugh.
So she eats her food and I have a salad and she talked through the whole damn meal!
Finally she finishes and I'm like "Bet, let's go back to my place and watch a movie." and she says "Sorry, I can't do that".

Now...any smart man would have just dropped her off back at her house and lost her info.
But not stupid me...Not determined me...

I wasted 3 more damn months trying to get into this whales panties with no success. She came to my place, I went to her place, tried to get her drunk...nothing. So I finally gave up grabbed my blue-balls and moved on with a cac chick who was down with the brown and a frrrrrrrrreak!!

A year later, I'm preppin to leave florida and move back north with another ex when I get a phonecall from big titty chick.
I'm like "Yo, what you want".
She says "I heard you moving back home, why don't you come see me and say bye?".
So I said "Yeah, I would like to get a hug before I bounce."

So I headed over to her place for a quick goodbye. I get to her door and knock and she answers and invites me in.
We get to talking and she asks why I'm moving back home and I tell her about my ex coming down and us moving back to ny together.
All of a sudden she changed...
I can't put my finger on it, but she took on an adult...mature...demeanor.
She started talking like a grown woman, instead of a cute little girl and she got bold!
When I hugged her goodbye she wouldn't let go and started pawing my ass and holding me tighter and you know what that did to me...

So she ran her hand around on my front and grabbed my junk and pulled me over to the bed.
We're humping and grinding and I'm wondering in my head "Why in the hell she ain't ever do this when I was staying here???"


So I FINALLY got them titties out of her bra....and it was like the heavens opened up!!


Those F-cup titties were perfect!! The nipples were thick like the tip of my thumb and right dead in the center with nice sized areolas, I musta sucked on them thangs for 15 minutes rubbing my face all over her soft titty-meats and playing with her thick nipples while she played with my dikk. She wasn't going down so I started getting her pants off and even though she had that mexican barrel-build...her thighs were'nt cottage cheesy and her p*ssy smelled like damn lilacs!!

I gave her a tongue-lashing like no other, had that chick cumming on her bed and screaming.
Now, I didn't plan on smashing that day but I had a rubber with me just in case...you know.
I got that thing out and slid it on and she pumped the brakes.

I just knew she was gonna hit me with that "I'm a virgin, I can't do this until I get married" bs...
But instead, she said "It's been a long time, please take it easy..."


And that was all I needed to hear.
The p*ssy was so tight she may as well have been a virgin.
I been with a few overweight females but her box was tighter than the lil smidget cac I was with after I stopped dating her.
I went ALL IN!! Left her bleeding after I was done and had that girl calling on Jesus and the holy ghost.
Man, them titties...so big and soft and plump.

Of course, I could never tell my buddy because he was clowning me from day one.
But that was one of my better "Fat Girl Blues" encounters.

I had one after that that turned me off of big girls for a while....ugh

 

[DPresidential]

Man I tried to put this ethering in that box wit Mike Lowery's moms titties but I think I'm ready to face it now

I was like 19, in the navy, me and my boy had these 2 sisters in San Diego we was fuccin wit. These were 2 of the hoodest bytches I have ever met, the one I was fukkin wasn't as wild as the sister but she was still a hood rat, she was 22, had 2 kids by 2 nikkas who weren't around and she was just always into some hoodrat shyt. The sister my man's was fuccin was such a fuccin hood rat I nicknamed her Thug Life, she was like 19, had 3 kids by 2 nikkas who weren't around, had did time for armed robbery, always had a story of some while shyt happening to her, I remember we went to see them one time and she had a black eye, it took a while to get the story out of her but supposedly her ex just snapped out the blue, came to her house, drug her out and thru her in the trunk of his car and just drove to the beach and sat for a while, then let her out and left her, this dumb hoe even tatted my dudes name across the back of her neck BEFORE he ever even hit it. They were both cute but needless to say these were some bottom shelf SE SD bytches.

So the ship goes to SD one time and me and my dude already knew what we was tryin to get into. Soon as we hit port we hit em up, my chick was at work and told me she was gone hit me back, his chick answered and told us to come thru. So we get to their crib and I notice the sister goin in and out of her room to argue on the phone wit my chick. Then my chick calls me and says "you gone be mad", I'm like "why you on your period?, she says "go in my room and look in the closet", I look in the closet and its full of navy uniforms. I knew what the deal was as soon as I saw em, she got some military nikka stayin up in there. That shyt didn't surprise me, I honestly wouldn't have been surprised if I found out they was sellin p*ssy out that house too so I really didn't give a fukk, I was still tryin to get mine before he got there so I could go about my business. When my chick got there her and her sister argued for like 20 minutes because she was mad she told us both to come without runnin it pass her knowin she got a nikka stayin there wit her. By the time they stopped fighting and I got to really talk to ol girl the nikka was pullin up. He walked in, looked at all 4 of us just sittin there, then went in the room and closed the door. She tried to give me the whole "I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you" shyt but I honestly didn't even care enough to hear it, I just assumed that since shyt was dead for me my mans was gone be down to leave too, only it didn't go down like that. She went in the room wit the nikka, and my man still wanted to fukk so he went in the room wit his chick, me and him went half on the cab and all I had on me was my half for us to get back so I couldn't just leave. All I could do was sit there on the couch and listen to him fukk his girl and that nikka fukk my girl while I sipped on some Malibu they had in the fridge

I tried to to bury this L deep, but I think it's time to face it and let the healing process begin, give it to me brehs (n/h), I deserve it

That shyt could have gotten real ugly real fast.

Luckily, the Navy wasn't on some irrational territorial shyt.

 

[AyBrehHam Linkin]

These stories

 

[WyldStyle]

maaan i was digging this one chick, we fukked on and off thru high school.
well the summer of graduation, we start gettin real close,
goin on dates buying eachother gifts and all that. hell she did way more for me.


So my pop puts me out and I move out of state, Im over here tryin to set up
for shorty move with me. we discussing a future and shyt.

So I find out that her and my stepbrother fukked,
this nikka was my homeboy, my closest ace boon c00n
his cousin was like "yea nikka when we got off the phone wit u like last week, he showed me all this pics of her naked and told me how he smutted her and then called her".



By this point I wasnt feelin her as much and was in other p*ssy but I ask him about it,
this nikka denies it and makes some bullshyt up.
I take the L

but I get back at him. This nikka's babymother had been feelin me
for the longest. I never paid her any mind out of respect.



So I go back in town to visit on, I get up with these nikkas and I ask him again
to see if he gonna come clean. This nikka says she came at him but he denies it
So him and his BM stay fighting, she calls me up tellin me about it and asks if i can pick her up.

she ends up party-hopping with me which ends up with a MEAN
fukk session at my hotel dropped her off in the morning


they're expecting their 3rd soon

Lol thats cold blooded