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There's no target audience you smug bytch
Colored People webseries (Directed & written by Coli member ghostwriterx) EP04 is up!
- Thread starter StraxStrax
- Start date
Humble (Not) Mike Tyson
All Star
Larry Lobster
/-_-\
TheGodling
Los Ingobernables de Sala de Cine
I think the humor could be a bit sharper/cleverer, like the Indian guy with curry or the "Why do white people... why do black people..." exchange are too basic/obvious. The cast is solid though and the timing of the jokes is pretty good so all in all it's a decent effort, but every show needs something to set it apart and right now there isn't.
Taadow
The StarchBishop™️
Thoughts:
- Wardell is already my favorite character on TV and he ain't on TV yet.
- @ghostwriterx ...a couple more edgy lines from Evan, and Dean might be gettin' beat up on the street...
- I think you did aight as a writer, but maybe you should get a co- to add ideas. Case in point:
when Evan and Jada had the exchange about "that's how they got the slaves" and Evan said
"think of it as a bonding experience"...there was an opportunity for a GREAT joke there and you missed it.
It was still aight, doe.
- Wardell is already my favorite character on TV and he ain't on TV yet.
- @ghostwriterx ...a couple more edgy lines from Evan, and Dean might be gettin' beat up on the street...
- I think you did aight as a writer, but maybe you should get a co- to add ideas. Case in point:
when Evan and Jada had the exchange about "that's how they got the slaves" and Evan said
"think of it as a bonding experience"...there was an opportunity for a GREAT joke there and you missed it.
It was still aight, doe.
I like stuff like this. Reminds me of The Office mixed with 10 Items or Less. There's room to grow, but kudos to what you have so far. You're doing well. I'll support it. Keep the webisodes coming.
Black smoke and cac jokes
Your daps are mine
This shyt seems cool breh, keep doing you.
Some critique though:
- the race conversations are very shallow and there's no build up to where you want the back-and-forth between the characters to go.
- develop the characters, in these kind of shows/webisodes etc you need strong characters that the audience FIRST relate to, and then focus on the interactions
Good job though, hope it goes well!
Some critique though:
- the race conversations are very shallow and there's no build up to where you want the back-and-forth between the characters to go.
- develop the characters, in these kind of shows/webisodes etc you need strong characters that the audience FIRST relate to, and then focus on the interactions
Good job though, hope it goes well!
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StraxStrax
I'm selling these fine leather jackets
I am really impressed and glad that you guys are creating this supportive ecosystem for creativity
may watch later
The Coli Coalition
Xbox One X
the kufi smacker
I'll give it a watch.....looks good and positive, unlike that corny and unfunny @Big Skilly Films
for the creativity
I share the criticism that you kind of went way overboard with the race stuff, especially the whole "I'm black... I don't do ______ " ol girl kept spitting. But, this does show promise and I'll keep checking it.
oh yea...
oh yea...