Candace Cameron Bure Defends Her "Submissive Role" With Husband: "I Want Him to Lead"

[dax]

Well I believe it. I believe that there are exceptions to the rules tho ... and none of this means that women can't lead or pick up the role of leader. It's been like this from the beginning ...and women wouldn't have made it this far if men couldn't be leaders and hunt and lift heavy objects for women. Men wouldn't be here if women didn't take care of men's children... the proof is all around you.

There have been female military leaders, succesful female Ceo's, Female conquerors... so women can be leaders... but most women have no desire for some of these roles because they're not hardwired for it. Who cares? I'm not hardwired for dressing up and taking 1000 pics of myself and would never get enjoyment out of it the way women do. It's nothing.

Believe what you believe, but to me leadership is an abstract concept, not like lifting rocks or giving birth.

 

[CrimsonTider]

I think submitting is more of a state of mind rather than a set of actions. When you do group projects in school typically one person is assigned as the group leader to turn in work on behalf of the group. The other group members still have to contribute. That's typically how it works in families with the husband being the group leader. There are going to be times where the wife assumes the role, but more often than not it will be the husband and it's possible to have a marriage where the wife is submissive yet her opinion is valued. Just because that dynamic has been established it doesn't mean the wife won't have a say in the marriage and she'll just be cooking, cleaning and rubbing her husband's feet. Don't confuse subservient with submissive.

The word to describe this shouldn't be submission though

That's my whole point. No adult should ever submit to another adult. Especially ones that are on equal footing in a relationship

i actually agree with her, when i got married i submitted completely to my husband and dont have any regrets . save me a few headaches not having to make decisions for the family.

What decisions for your family?

I have asked for real life examples up and down this thread and none of the clowns responded @chris b

 

[Wild self]

This is the overall point Im trying to make here, black. When you speak of traditional gender roles of the past, men carried overwhelming authority in the household because of an asymmetry in knowledge and real world experience between men and women. Women werent encouraged, or generally allowed to think critically, pursue higher education, develop careers, etc, so generally they werent equipped to deal with matters outside of home making or agrarian work. Men had the ability to make the more sound decision more often than not.

We now have a globalized economy where its financially demanded that women pursue education, and develop careers. One income households are a thing of the past. If you have a wife that is college educated, and has a challenging career, you mean to tell me you can convince her that what you say should go simply because you have a dyck? I get the idea that a man is supposed to carry a certain amount of respect, and I do believe in gender roles to a degree --- but submission and obedience isnt of interest to me, and is largely unreasonable in this day and age.

Nah, the global economy is the way it is because people stopped working to getting to achieve more. We are competing for scraps and we shouldn't have to resort to 2 incomes in the first place. If a woman decides to work full time over the well being of her kids, then she is a terrible human being. You gonna let Daycare raise the children, all for a sake of a slight better income? You kids will grow up hating you for that shyt.

 

[Mr. Somebody]

So who failed to raise these failed women?
I suspect you won't say it's these men who supposedly deserve to be submitted to.

The man is the primary missing component in these dysfunctional viewpoints.

Not being raised by a father doesnt mean you cant become a leader, it just lowers the chance that you might be. You just have a completely different view on life and relationships if you do not have proper male mentors to teach you how to be a man. Its definately not something your mother can teach you and obviously if a man has a father that is weak what can he really teach his own son about being a man, when he looks to his wife to lead him. I dont mean give him advice, i mean, lead him. That family has just increased the chances of dysfunction in their kids lives by the mere dynamic of their relationship.

 

[dax]

I don't understand why a woman choosing to be submissive means she's has some disfunction. it doesn't mean she doesn't have any control or that she's being beat by the guy.

 

[Chris.B]

The word to describe this shouldn't be submission though

That's my whole point. No adult should ever submit to another adult. Especially ones that are on equal footing in a relationship


What decisions for your family?

I have asked for real life examples up and down this thread and none of the clowns responded @chris b

The fact still remain...that most married men want to remain married..

You can ignore the stats.
it's not the men killing the relationships...It's the women. 80% file for divorce

 

[Chesirecatdaddy]

Yes.
But what a failure and simp.
He only got elected President of the most powerful country in the world.

Maybe he'll do better in another life time.

two good loving parents will always be better than one. Life is all about duality and balance. Obama had male figures in his life, nikka was raised by his grandparents. There are plenty of people though who were raised by single parents who are doing fine, example: Lebron James.... that being said tho a lot more people will have dysfunctional lives because of single parent households than not.

use Obama like a trump card Breh

it's like when people use Hitler to show how bad something is.

 

[Chesirecatdaddy]

The fact still remain...that most married men want to remain married..

You can ignore the stats.
it's not the men killing the relationships...It's the women. 80% file for divorce

I'm on your side but this is not a good fact to use to prove your point.

Leaves out too many variables.

It's cheaper to keep her.

Example, you cheated on your wife, you don't initiate a divorce because you don't want to lose half of what you worked for. She gives no fukks and files.

 

[Rawtid]

I think you're confused as to what I'm saying.
Because I'm not understanding what preconceived notions I am supposedly having.

So I think I'll pose the question more directly:
When a person says that a woman must be submissive to a man, what does that mean exactly?
That she should do what the man says? That she should relegate herself to old gender roles of the house?

I think we need some of you to define this "submissive" word you keep throwing around

I don't think gender roles are the same as a woman being submissive. I think submission is solely based on the establishment of hierarchy within the family.

 

[Diondon]

So it seems the word "submit" is what's causing the knee jerk reactions.
How about we use another word.
Defer. Conform . Acquiesce. :
Better?

 

[Remote]

The man is the primary missing component in these dysfunctional viewpoints.

Not being raised by a father doesnt mean you cant become a leader, it just lowers the chance that you might be. You just have a completely different view on life and relationships if you do not have proper male mentors to teach you how to be a man. Its definately not something your mother can teach you and obviously if a man has a father that is weak what can he really teach his own son about being a man, when he looks to his wife to lead him. I dont mean give him advice, i mean, lead him. That family has just increased the chances of dysfunction in their kids lives by the mere dynamic of their relationship.

I don't have much of a gripe with your response, except that it seems like people are acting like a relationship has to have a ruler and a servant.
And anyone who disagrees is a weakling. That's preposterous.

Different situations call for different responses and for different people to make decisions, or "lead" as some would say.

 

[CrimsonTider]

Yes.
But what a failure and simp.
He only got elected President of the most powerful country in the world.

Maybe he'll do better in another life time.

You know if he had a dad at home maybe he would have done something great like spend all his time posting on a forum pretending to be 3 different people

@Mowgli
@crackface
@Mr. Somebody

 

[Chesirecatdaddy]

Believe what you believe, but to me leadership is an abstract concept, not like lifting rocks or giving birth.

nothing abstract about it, if it's pivotal to your survival than it exists outside of your mind. I respect your right to your opinion.

 

[Wild self]

I understand what you saying. I just see things another way.

Women have been getting degrees and professional jobs for decades now. But even with most families now being two-income households, most communities are still very patriarchal. Its only the black community that has an issue with men being men. And you keep saying obedience and submission. A wife should submit to her husband but, the way you type it makes it sound like the husband has a whip and chain and he's locking his wife in a dungeon or something man....

I'll give you two different examples. My godfather is married to my godmother. My godmother has her masters, works HR for a large pharmaceutical company and makes a nice salary. So she is this "college educated, challenging career, not taking no crap" woman you're talking about. My godfather is on disability. He hurt his back years ago. It's been so long, I can't remember what he used to do before. They have three grown successful kids now and two grandkids. Extremely tight-knit family. You would think that my godmother would run things in that household bringing home the bacon but, she doesnt.........when I go over there, its my godfather's rules I have to respect. He got the grumpy old black man thing down to a tee.

The second man is my pastor. I'm very close with him. When I was growing up, he'd take me golfing and out to breakfast. He's rich. Drives a Bentley, lives in a mcmansion, had long family money beforehand and eventually sent his own two sons to Wharton. His wife is college educated and accomplished in her own right, but, I know from being around him extensively that he's the rock of his family. Two men on polar ends of the socioeconomic strata....one man rich, the other not even working anymore, yet they're both the heads of their households. It seems pretty normal to me.

you are among my top 5 posters in here

Young black folk live in such a delusional state of dysfunction.

The examples you posted are supposed to be the blueprint...the standard. That is real life right there.

But these heathens were raised on street music laced in allegorical demon worship, and don't even realize it.

Submission is a virtue. The man has to submit to God, and the wife should submit to the husband.

It's really simple. Yet, we make it complicated (God isn't real! Christianity is slavery!).

It's so demonic, friends.

nikkas are simps here and kiss all woman's ass for the sake of the p*ssy

 

[CrimsonTider]

So it seems the word "submit" is what's causing the knee jerk reactions.
How about we use another word.
Defer. Conform . Acquiesce. :
Better?

It's the whole idea of a designated leader and follower in a relationship between 2 adults.

It is also the fact that know can explain the situations that require a leader and someone to submit in order for it to work well