Candace Cameron Bure Defends Her "Submissive Role" With Husband: "I Want Him to Lead"

[Mr. Somebody]

it was a lil bit of both really i had a really good paying job and he sat at home and watched the kids then i would give half my check to go out and hustle with so he could feel like he was doing something. we got married only cuz of the kids, we didnt really get to know one another so it was doomed from the start.

I see, friend. Yea i guess a lot of couples dont get to know each other. The foundation for the relationship is centered around the bedroom and entertainment after which they have to then get to know each other and deal with issues of maturity like the future/finance and at some point someone realizes they dont click mentally. Its tough.

Alot of men get to know a woman just to understand how she can be manipulated for pleasure not realizing that investing the time into really getting to know her brings you closer then simply getting her *sprung* sexually. Same can happen with women who are in it to be pleasured and/or compensated for their time.

Ive put so many teaching hours into my wife shes practically a reflection of me at times. Sometimes i listen to her talk about how she handles some of her business and im like realizing how much attention shes been paying to me as ive spoken over the years. I just have to trust she uses all that game i gave her for good because shes become extremely sharp. I thank God shes not demonic.

 

[MoneyBags]

OG Danny Tanner
OG, OG Danny Tanner

 

[Remote]

lol well i mean I don't agree with that, sure they might initiate it... but that doesn't mean shyt. Why would a man initiate a process whereby he loses half his shyt? Doesn't mean he's not the one responsible ... doesn't mean he fulfilled his duties as a man and a husband. I agree with reincar and chris b when it comes to women being submissive in traditional relationships and that they work best... but that's where it ends. I do think that modern society is trying to condition us that men and women are the same... we are not the same at all, the more we recognize that the happier we'll be. We are equal, in that we all deserve our fundamental God given rights as a human being on this earth... that's it that's where it stops. Women and men's brains are hardwired differently, women even use different parts of the brain to do the same tasks as men, meaning they see shyt different off top. That's why it's such a good partnership, a woman can see things you can't and you'll be looking at the exact same thing or situation. This is why we don't all have the same roles... why do you need 2 people doing the same thing?

I don't think relationships need to have equal roles. That's where I differ from many in this thread.
A lot of you try to compare a relationship to a sports team or something. That's a silly analogy to me.
I think relationships...and decision in relationships should be discussed. Whom fills what role depends on who is good at certain things.
It shouldn't be based on gender.
If I am a great cook and enjoy it, I don't mind cooking.
If my wife is some HGTV miracle worker, I don't care that she builds a dresser in the garage.
But that's just me.
It really seems that so many of you are so pre-occupied with trying to get the upper hand over a woman that you completely miss the point.
But again, this is why I keep saying...to each his own.
I don't know where people are coming up with this idea that women who submit have happy marriages.
There are plenty of societies around the world where women are in submissive cultures and they live horrible, suppressed lives.
But whatever.

 

[Chesirecatdaddy]

Conditioning has a lot to do with if you are a leader too, male or female.

Yes it does, but you're also hardwired from the jump for things and nobody can change that without conscious effort... shyt you might not be able to change it at all. Like being a soldier, yeah women can be soldiers, yeah women can do combat... can women change the fact that their muscle mass starts deteriorating way more rapidly than a mans and if they're stuck out there they become a liability more than an asset... you can't really change that... all she can do is pack on as much muscle mass as she can and hope for the best.

 

[dax]

Yes it does, but you're also hardwired from the jump for things and nobody can change that without conscious effort... shyt you might not be able to change it at all. Like being a soldier, yeah women can be soldiers, yeah women can do combat... can women change the fact that their muscle mass starts deteriorating way more rapidly than a mans and if they're stuck out there they become a liability more than an asset... you can't really change that... all she can do is pack on as much muscle mass as she can and hope for the best.

I will have to respectfully disagree with you, my friend.

 

[Chesirecatdaddy]

I don't think relationships need to have equal roles. That's where I differ from many in this thread.
A lot of you try to compare a relationship to a sports team or something. That's a silly analogy to me.
I think relationships...and decision in relationships should be discussed. Whom fills what role depends on who is good at certain things.
It shouldn't be based on gender.
If I am a great cook and enjoy it, I don't mind cooking.
If my wife is some HGTV miracle worker, I don't care that she builds a dresser in the garage.
But that's just me.
It really seems that so many of you are so pre-occupied with trying to get the upper hand over a woman that you completely miss the point.
But again, this is why I keep saying...to each his own.
I don't know where people are coming up with this idea that women who submit have happy marriages.
There are plenty of societies around the world where women are in submissive cultures and they live horrible, suppressed lives.
But whatever.

You're under the impression that they're not equal, that one is more important than the other. You need both. If my wife tells me yo chesire go get some milk... imma do it. That doesn't sound like she works for me does it? She's not begging me, she's not scared to ask me for fear for being fired. All your notions are pre conceived, none of it is getting the upper hand... it should be effortless and smooth. It should feel natural, because it is. Societies where women lead horrible lives are usually backwards as fukk and has nothing to do with being submissive to a good husband. A good husband and a good person would never tread on someone's basic rights as a human being and that's where you got it fukked up. A lot of posts already touched on the subject of one person being better at shyt than the other. If my wife told me she's tired and doesn't wanna cook today lol there shouldn't be any fear in her telling me that..if there is than something is wrong.. and it doesn't have to do with traditional roles it has to do with one person being fukked in the head.

 

[Chesirecatdaddy]

I will have to respectfully disagree with you, my friend.

So men and women are the same?

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-s...hy-men-are-better-at-map-reading-8978248.html

can't really disagree with human biology and still be right. shyt is just feelings at this point.

 

[Remote]

You're under the impression that they're not equal, that one is more important than the other. You need both. If my wife tells me yo chesire go get some milk... imma do it. That doesn't sound like she works for me does it? She's not begging me, she's not scared to ask me for fear for being fired. All your notions are pre conceived, none of it is getting the upper hand... it should be effortless and smooth. It should feel natural, because it is. Societies where women lead horrible lives are usually backwards as fukk and has nothing to do with being submissive to a good husband. A good husband and a good person would never tread on someone's basic rights as a human being and that's where you got it fukked up. A lot of posts already touched on the subject of one person being better at shyt than the other. If my wife told me she's tired and doesn't wanna cook today lol there shouldn't be any fear in her telling me that..if there is than something is wrong.. and it doesn't have to do with traditional roles it has to do with one person being fukked in the head.

I think you're confused as to what I'm saying.
Because I'm not understanding what preconceived notions I am supposedly having.

So I think I'll pose the question more directly:
When a person says that a woman must be submissive to a man, what does that mean exactly?
That she should do what the man says? That she should relegate herself to old gender roles of the house?

I think we need some of you to define this "submissive" word you keep throwing around

 

[PartyHeart]

What many men here are missing and I think what ultimately frustrates them is that they are not worthy of submission

From a Christian standpoint, the husband is described as much more of a servant to the wife than the other way around in the Bible. Christ is described as having servant leadership. But many of the men, especially on the coli, who pine the most for submission seek to do the bare minimum for their woman. So they're really not following the blueprint they're supposed to be, and thus no woman would submit to them in the Christian way. They know he does not have their best interest at heart and his asking for submission is all about ego, and not about uplifting her or taking burden away from her. Most Christian households when done right end up looking a lot like partnerships in this day and age, because the men realize that they are not God to know the best thing to do or deserve the final decision every time, and that 2 heads, both who are educated in the same way nowadays, is better than one.

Now there's another type of submission a lot of coli (insecure) men want, that isn't founded in religion at all. It can really be better categorized as obedience. But the problem those men have is that they simply do not have the financial capability to command that type of reaction from any woman (the type where anything he says goes, he doesn't have to contribute in any other way than being a 'provider' and 'protector'). The way that most marriages of today happen is that both male and female work outside the home, work around the same hours, and have the same level of stress before they even enter the home. So essentially the woman has taken on the man's traditional role in providing, but because of ego the man does not and refuses to take on any parts of the woman's traditional role. A woman would be an idiot to sign up for this, but some do, and after awhile, she gets bogged down in having to carry so much weight in the relationship, resentment builds, and....voila: 80% of divorces initiated by women forced to carry too much weight because of a selfish partner who put his ego before the happiness/comfort of his wife

 

[Dwolf]

How does my age matter on my opinions?

If you keep being in a relationship with a planb guy in mind you will never have a real relationship.

 

[Chesirecatdaddy]

I think you're confused as to what I'm saying.
Because I'm not understanding what preconceived notions I am supposedly having.

So I think I'll pose the question more directly:
When a person says that a woman must be submissive to a man, what does that mean exactly?
That she should do what the man says? That she should relegate herself to old gender roles of the house?

I think we need some of you to define this "submissive" word you keep throwing around

The notion of men trying to get the upper hand. A submissive wife can still do whatever the hell she wants to do. She could get divorced tomorrow if she doesn't like where shyt is going. She's not a slave, she's just not the leader when it comes to the partnership and household. Too many chiefs and not enough indians is a saying for a reason my friend. There are hierarchies to everything.

As for your question:
It means the woman shouldn't relinquish final say in decisions that involve the direction and actions of the partnership and put faith in the leader. It means one person is the leader and the other is not, unless that role needs to be take up by them. Yes these are old gender roles, it doesn't mean they are unfair or evil if done correctly. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, one person is the leader, it's not bondage or slavery. If you don't like it you leave the situation or do not get into the situation at all.

 

[Mr. Somebody]

I will have to respectfully disagree with you, my friend.

There was a quake in los angeles that disabled services for about 3 days. Grocery stores were DONE, and people were drinking pool water. In a situation like this, who do you think is supposed to be the de facto leader of the house? Is the woman going to say *ok honey watch the kids, im going to go out and get us some food* while she puts a pistol in her waistband?

People will say *that has nothing to do with being a leader* and doesnt apply to dynamics in modern times, but i think it does. A man without a plan in this world is a liability for his family.

 

[Chesirecatdaddy]

What many men here are missing and I think what ultimately frustrates them is that they are not worthy of submission

From a Christian standpoint, the husband is described as much more of a servant to the wife than the other way around in the Bible. Christ is described as having servant leadership. But many of the men, especially on the coli, who pine the most for submission seek to do the bare minimum for their woman. So they're really not following the blueprint they're supposed to be, and thus no woman would submit to them in the Christian way. They know he does not have their best interest at heart and his asking for submission is all about ego, and not about uplifting her or taken burden away from her. Most Christian households when done right end up looking a lot like partnerships in this day and age, because the men realize that they are not God to know the best thing to do or deserve the final decision every time, and that 2 heads, both who are educated in the same way nowadays, is better than one.

Now there's another the type of submission a lot of coli (insecure) men want, that isn't founded in religion at all. It can really be better categorized as obedience. But the problem those men have is that they simply do not have the financial capability to command that type of reaction from any woman (the type where anything he says goes, he doesn't have to contribute it any other way that being a 'provider' and 'protector'). The way that most marriages of today happen is that both male and female work outside the home, work around the same hours, and have the same level of stress before they even enter the home. So essentially the woman has taken on the man's traditional role in providing, but because of ego the man does not and refuses to take on any parts of the woman's traditional role. A woman would be an idiot to sign up for this, but some do, and after awhile, she gets bogged down in having to carry so much weight in the relationship and....voila. 80% of divorces initiated by women forced to carry too much weight because of a selfish partner who put his ego before the happiness of his wife

I agree with the bolded

I don't agree with the part of most men not being worthy on the Coli, I don't know them personally I know their online personas... I do think that a lot of men in society don't have what it takes.... and their leadership isn't the type that is wanted by a lot of women. Some men do not want the responsibility of being a leader either. I also believe that a lot of this is not the fault of the man, but those that raised them. I also believe that society is also pulling people in other directions that although many people agree with, just don't work out as well.

There's this idea that newer= better, and the old should be abandoned because they didn't know what we know now. I think this is a viewpoint that comes from arrogance and not wisdom. Just because something is traditional doesn't mean shyt should be replaced completely. Just because a different society uses traditional roles doesn't mean that the women there are unhappy or being bullied. It's like saying that women that wear headscarves are being forced to do so, when the majority are not.

Look at Japan, there was a vice documentary recently that was saying that women and men are not having sex with each other. These dudes would rather buy trading cards, play videogames, etc than to create bonds and meaningful relationships with beautiful women. A new society focused more on materialism is slowly taking over. Meanwhile the yakuza control all these industries and have traditional lives with wives and girlfriends themselves. I think you'll find that's the case behind a lot of the originators of many new movements, they live lives completely contrary to those they push on society.

 

[Remote]

The notion of men trying to get the upper hand. A submissive wife can still do whatever the hell she wants to do. She could get divorced tomorrow if she doesn't like where shyt is going. She's not a slave, she's just not the leader when it comes to the partnership and household. Too many chiefs and not enough indians is a saying for a reason my friend. There are hierarchies to everything.


As for your question:
It means the woman shouldn't relinquish final say in decisions that involve the direction and actions of the partnership and put faith in the leader. It means one person is the leader and the other is not, unless that role needs to be take up by them. Yes these are old gender roles, it doesn't mean they are unfair or evil if done correctly. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, one person is the leader, it's not bondage or slavery. If you don't like it you leave the situation or do not get into the situation at all.

Except have the final say in decisions because...why? I think this is the circle jerk we're having.

 

[Mr. Somebody]

Its sad that so many men are just adult boys that women literally dont have a lot of options in choosing men who have both of their futures in mind. I cant totally fault these women for choosing weak men because alot of times, they dont have a choice. Even a man that appears strong and tough may make a terrible leader because all he knows how to do is Roar.