Brehettes: How Many Kids Do You Want And When Do You Want To Have Them?
- Thread starter Medicate
- Start date
Elle Driver
Veteran
Any specific reason for that 2 year time span?
Well I might change my mind, and I'd have to actually prepare for the process of having a child because I can't have children naturally myself.
I mean yes it's part of nature but things are different. People have options now. Just because you can, doesn't mean you have to. By biological clock, do you mean a woman feeling like they have to have kids when they're older? Ehhh, not really. If I were unsure about having kids, then maybe a case of baby fever would help me decide. That's when I'd take a time and consider my options. But if I don't want kids AT ALL , I do not believe that my body will be like "ok, fukk what you want. it's time now." If it happens, I believe it'd be in passing. Like let's say you see a cute baby and that baby is just too adorable and you can't imagine not having one of your own. Then you think of the long journey until they're 18 and you'll come down from that real quick because you realize that it's not what you truly want.
I feel like when a girl grows up and she's always told that kids are a part of life, like marriage, then that's all they know. Let's say they get pregnant and they're like "
this is how it's supposed to be" . So they raise and nurture this child, not because they necessarily want to, but because we're always told it's our duty and our path as women to have a baby. So you love this child because you have to, not because you want to. That is what I believe people refer to when they say "You'll love the baby when it's born! You won't be able to imagine life without it." It wasn't ever really a choice tho.Believe me when I say, you can tell the difference between a mother who loves her child because that love grows within her and a mother who loves her child because she has to. I really believe that a huge chunk of mothers fall into the latter and that happens because we don't teach women it's okay to NOT have kids.
Even in the media. They're so many male celebrities without children and there's no problem. God forbid it's a woman and you'll see everyone asking if her life is lacking, does she feel complete. Times have changed.
Last edited:
Elle Driver
Veteran
Sorry to hear that sis, may I ask why?
I have a condition that prevents me from having children.
Nope I don't believe in it. I'll be 40 with no children, and I'll have zero regrets about it.So you don't believe in the "biological clock" thing, that your body will eventually "move" you to like want it........
@September you're my shero. 
I mean yes it's part of nature but things are different. People have options now. Just because you can, doesn't mean you have to. By biological clock, do you mean a woman feeling like they have to have kids when they're older? Ehhh, not really. If I were unsure about having kids, then maybe a case of baby fever would help me decide. That's when I'd take a time and consider my options. But if I don't want kids AT ALL , I do not believe that my body will be like "ok, fukk what you want. it's time now." If it happens, I believe it'd be in passing. Like let's say you see a cute baby and that baby is just too adorable and you can't imagine not having one of your own. Then you think of the long journey until they're 18 and you'll come down from that real quick because you realize that it's not what you truly want.
I feel like when a girl grows up and she's always told that kids are a part of life, like marriage, then that's all they know. Let's say they get pregnant and they're like "
Believe me when I say, you can tell the difference between a mother who loves her child because that love grows within her and a mother who loves her child because she has to. I really believe that a huge chunk of mothers fall into the latter and that happens because we don't teach women it's okay to NOT have kids.
Even in the media. They're so many male celebrities without children and there's no problem. God forbid it's a woman and everyone you'll see everyone asking if her life is lacking, does she feel complete. Times have changed.
Good shyt!
I do feel you on the red part oh so I do....I think that is a silent problem, that many don't speak on, where girls are being reared to have children so quick, and natural, that they rush into it without using common sense, which causes a lot of the single mother problems we also have, or shall I say is a "Part" of it......
Although my inertia sis, is that I still do feel, that imo, I think your body is a temple, that was created in the form it is, to bear and rear a life. I mean the beauty and power that your womb has is something special that I always say is taken for granted and seen as insignificant, when in fact, you are the bringers of LIFE.....so that's where my viewpoints come from.
I'm still surprised tho
Good shyt!
I do feel you on the red part oh so I do....I think that is a silent problem, that many don't speak on, where girls are being reared to have children so quick, and natural, that they rush into it without using common sense, which causes a lot of the single mother problems we also have, or shall I say is a "Part" of it......
Although my inertia sis, is that I still do feel, that imo, I think your body is a temple, that was created in the form it is, to bear and rear a life. I mean the beauty and power that your womb has is something special that I always say is taken for granted and seen as insignificant, when in fact, you are the bringers of LIFE.....so that's where my viewpoints come from.
Well yeah, scientifically that's our purpose. To bear children. But we are also evolved humans with choices and feelings and goals who don't want to deal with the pressure of child rearing. I have the option to not have kids, so I don't want them.
But it's not just the pressure to have them quickly, it's the pressure to have them at all. Whether we're 25 or 35, there's always someone asking us when are the babies coming? When is that marriage coming? Like that's the end goal of life. It just isn't for everybody. When I die, I wanna say that I lived a happy and fulfilled life. For me, I don't need kids to have that.
You certainly do have a good argument I must say. Can't knock you for how you brought this argument. I still will agree to disagree on the part about what your body is meant for. When Nature sets about a motion, trying to maneuver around it, to me is 
But I feel you overall tho...Do you.....
SelahNicole
Obsessed with hair
I'm over 30 and I wanted to have kids before I turned 35 but I don't think I will ever have them after spending a lot of time with my nieces and nephews. Just thinking about all the work that goes into taking care of them seems like too much for me.
I went to see my nieces and nephews last week and my nephew walked by and he smelled bad and I said to myself ain't no way I would be able to change a soiled diaper. A thought popped in mind head and said "you really shouldn't have kinds because you kids will walk around with shytty diapers" lol
I just don't think I"ll be able to do it. Plus I have a god daughter and she's 6 and kind of a handful.
I went to see my nieces and nephews last week and my nephew walked by and he smelled bad and I said to myself ain't no way I would be able to change a soiled diaper. A thought popped in mind head and said "you really shouldn't have kinds because you kids will walk around with shytty diapers" lol
I just don't think I"ll be able to do it. Plus I have a god daughter and she's 6 and kind of a handful.
