Black men...where are we finding community outside of the church and fraternities?

[Reality]

Church was good at screening out people who were morally and ethically lost???????
As someone who grew up in the church I can promise you this is 100% false

I grew up in it too breh. All relative. At least the hypocrites in the Church know what they're supposed to be doing vs. not. Whether or not they are consistent is another question, but at least everyone's on the same page of lying, stealing, killing = bad in the hypothetical. It's sad, but you can't say that is the case generally when "the culture" (seculur black American culture) actually celebrates those same things. Rugged, American individualism (aka Capitalist, soulless greed & hedonism) has become the alternative religion for us and it's hard to say it isn't leading us to destruction. I say this as an agnostic person who hasn't gone to Church outside of an invite in like 15 years.

 

[TRUEST]

To the OP, find a profitable hobby.

 

[invalid]

There is a black club out there for almost every hobby, and if you live in a city with a historic black middle class, there will be a multiplicity of these black clubs around.

In my city alone, we have -

Black tennis clubs
Black golf clubs
Black yacht clubs/black boaters associations
Black ski clubs
Black cycling clubs
Black hunting clubs
Black camping clubs
Black art clubs
Black literary societies
Black musical societies

On top of all the black professional associations that run the gamut of all career fields.

On top of all the black fraternal grad chapters.

On top of all the more exclusive social clubs that have chapters in every major city.

On top of all the black churches.

This is where you will find like-minded professional black men. And this has always been the case going back over a hundred years.

If you want me to direct you to a specific club that you may have interest in your city, let me know and I’ll post it here.

don't know the history of the Boule and I can only judge them by the people I know who have been involved...all women.

“Boule” around here is used as a catch all term to describe certain black people. Most times it’s not even the correct black people. But the actual organization - Sigma Pi Phi Boule is an organization for black men. It’s not a women’s organization.

I go skiing with us jim dandy skin club, Golf course, I help with a local robotics club, I go rowing back in Philly black owned rowing club.

Mission — BLJ Community Rowing

www.bljcommunityrowing.com

1) I’m a member of the Sno Gophers which is Jim Dandy’s sister club in Chicago. Sno Gophers and Jim Dandy have joint events annually. I’m sure we must’ve crossed paths. I was just at Jim Dandy’s big anniversary at Boyne a few years back. The founder of Jim Dandy and the founder of the Sno Gophers both founded the National Brotherhood of Skiiers.

2) I’m a rower. Rowed crew in college and currently row masters at a rowing club here in my city. I annually donate to BJC, Row New York, and Harlem Community Rowing - all non-profits introducing the sport of rowing to inner-city black kids.

I’m the second person.

 

[ThrobbingHood]

Once someone sees you doing better they withhold information. Or they withhold information to get the upper hand then shyt on you because of their upbringing.

A lot of people get rich and don't want to tell you how so they can stun on you.. they really don't want competition especially you.

Sadly, this is common amongst our brothers. When I came out of college, I got nothing but hot air from so called “pro-black” mentors. Looking back now, they didn’t want to see a young brother come up.

A Jewish hedge fund manager put me on simply because I was polite to him when I chopped it up with him at my old job. He had no real incentive to put me on game but he did.

Many brothers in the corporate world can attest to this. All skin folk ain’t kinfolk. They either come from another “culture” where they look down on blacks, or they’re scared of their token black position getting compromised, so they won’t put you on. They subscribe to the “one negro at a time” theory.

 

[High Art]

Sadly, this is common amongst our brothers. When I came out of college, I got nothing but hot air from so called “pro-black” mentors. Looking back now, they didn’t want to see a young brother come up.

A Jewish hedge fund manager put me on simply because I was polite to him when I chopped it up with him at my old job. He had no real incentive to put me on game but he did.

Many brothers in the corporate world can attest to this. All skin folk ain’t kinfolk. They either come from another “culture” where they look down on blacks, or they’re scared of their token black position getting compromised, so they won’t put you on. They subscribe to the “one negro at a time” theory.

It happens in general unfortunately. This was the case for me as well. The older, higher up black people I encountered were either detrimental or indifferent to me. At the time I had no idea what was going on or why it was occurring that way.

Hate to be that guy but there are a lot of egos, jealousy and envy out there. Once someone sees you doing better they withhold information. Or they withhold information to get the upper hand then shyt on you because of their upbringing. Some people will lend a hand just to see what you got. I would say family but they hurt you the most just because you came out the same vagina doesn't mean shyt.

A lot of people get rich and don't want to tell you how so they can stun on you.. they really don't want competition especially you.

Fake motivation be out here. They motivating by stunt on you "I'm doing this to motivate but the never give you solid instructions to get it like they did. If they do its too late or outdated."


Our "culture" adds fuel to the fire.


You are better off meeting people who are into self development and can humble themselves. Where idk breh.

I've found that these kind of things work best when everyone is there due to some focused hobby, like a gun club or even video games. I think Dr. Neely Fuller alluded to this one time.

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

Most of us aren’t in major cities. So there aren’t a lot of options. I’m in between NYC and Philly. So either way, I’m spending at least an hour to travel, plus gas and parking.

There is nothing around here in terms of black professional groups, so I just work, garden, read, hangout with my girl, and listen to her talk.

 

[the elastic]

It’ll probably be glaringly noticeable by August. I hope not tho.

 

[ThrobbingHood]

It happens in general unfortunately. This was the case for me as well. The older, higher up black people I encountered were either detrimental or indifferent to me. At the time I had no idea what was going on or why it was occurring that way.


I've found that these kind of things work best when everyone is there due to some focused hobby, like a gun club or even video games. I think Dr. Neely Fuller alluded to this one time.

I know this post is going to ruffle a lot of feathers but the truth always does.

This is the hierarchy of who corporate America prefers hiring in terms of preference of “blacks”:

1. Black female LGBT (bonus points if they’re mixed race.) These are the ones who identify by their sexuality before their color. They won’t rock the boat. They see themselves as colorless. Hiring kills three birds with one stone. They look great for their diversity portfolio on their website.

2. West Indian/African - 1st generation or fresh off the boat. Again, they love hiring people from this group because they won’t challenge their anti-black American views. I’ve “heard” many even join in with these comments.

From my experience, they see Nigerians as the most docile and grateful for getting a pat on the head, so they don’t have to worry about them putting other black folk on.

3. Mammy/God fearing. Now they usually have these types in middle management. Rarely in the boardrooms if they don’t fit the “aesthetic” of the company. But they use these types to watch over the plantation and keep any rebel negro check.

White women love them especially because they know they’re not a threat sexually and they’re there for their entertainment.

4. Gay black men. They don’t want to hire or promote any black men period but if they have to, then gay black men are no different from no.1. Actually, I’ll be honest, I’ve some who were pro-black in silence but they definitely “twirled”‘it up in front of the CACs to seem less threatening. But for the most part, they’re not seen as a threat.

5. Straight black women. If she doesn’t have a zaddy or a fake valley girl accent, it’s hard for a conscious black woman to get hired. But, they’re preferable over straight black men in management positions… maybe not so much the board rooms.

6. Straight black man (who aren’t c00ns). If you’re not skinning and grinning or PAWGing… you are bottom of the totem pole in the corporate world. It will be damn near impossible for you to move up unless the higher ups really like you. It doesn’t matter how great you are at your job.

You have to be Damn near irreplaceable to make the same money as the incompetent CACs they’ll put ahead of you.

I’m semi-self employed… the only reason I’m still part time at job is because I can work at home… I hustled the fukk out of those white folk just before the pandemic, and if I was made redundant, my severance pay would’ve been ridiculous. I’ll stay on until they get rid of me. At least I don’t have to see them in the office.

If you’re a Straight non-c00nish black man… learn all you can in the corporate world and start your own with like minded folks. These CACs do NOT want you ahead of them or on their level. The aforementioned are happy with their token role but you shouldn’t be.

 

[RareHunter]

Ain't nobody coming back to save you breh. You're gonna have to fight your battles on your own, just like everyone else on the planet.

I know this post is going to ruffle a lot of feathers but the truth always does.

This is the hierarchy of who corporate America prefers hiring in terms of preference of “blacks”:

1. Black female LGBT (bonus points if they’re mixed race.) These are the ones who identify by their sexuality before their color. They won’t rock the boat. They see themselves as colorless. Hiring kills three birds with one stone. They look great for their diversity portfolio on their website.

2. West Indian/African - 1st generation or fresh off the boat. Again, they love hiring people from this group because they won’t challenge their anti-black American views. I’ve “heard” many even join in with these comments.

From my experience, they see Nigerians as the most docile and grateful for getting a pat on the head, so they don’t have to worry about them putting other black folk on.

3. Mammy/God fearing. Now they usually have these types in middle management. Rarely in the boardrooms if they don’t fit the “aesthetic” of the company. But they use these types to watch over the plantation and keep any rebel negro check.

White women love them especially because they know they’re not a threat sexually and they’re there for their entertainment.

4. Gay black men. They don’t want to hire or promote any black men period but if they have to, then gay black men are no different from no.1. Actually, I’ll be honest, I’ve some who were pro-black in silence but they definitely “twirled”‘it up in front of the CACs to seem less threatening. But for the most part, they’re not seen as a threat.

5. Straight black women. If she doesn’t have a zaddy or a fake valley girl accent, it’s hard for a conscious black woman to get hired. But, they’re preferable over straight black men in management positions… maybe not so much the board rooms.

6. Straight black man (who aren’t c00ns). If you’re not skinning and grinning or PAWGing… you are bottom of the totem pole in the corporate world. It will be damn near impossible for you to move up unless the higher ups really like you. It doesn’t matter how great you are at your job.

You have to be Damn near irreplaceable to make the same money as the incompetent CACs they’ll put ahead of you.

I’m semi-self employed… the only reason I’m still part time at job is because I can work at home… I hustled the fukk out of those white folk just before the pandemic, and if I was made redundant, my severance pay would’ve been ridiculous. I’ll stay on until they get rid of me. At least I don’t have to see them in the office.

If you’re a Straight non-c00nish black man… learn all you can in the corporate world and start your own with like minded folks. These CACs do NOT want you ahead of them or on their level. The aforementioned are happy with their token role but you shouldn’t be.

This is copy and paste worthy

 

[ItsPeople]

This is why you need to stress the importance of friendship and networking to your seed.

That individualistic shyt bites you in the ass later in life.

 

[DrBanneker]

Serious question. And no the Coli isn't a real answer, though it helps.

A lot of us seem to be living lives of isolation...outside of the church and fraternities, there's not a ton of structure for us to meet & network with other black men who are productive members of society.

If you live or move away from where you grew up due to work or pursuing opportunity, it can be a pretty isolating experience. This is probably getting worse due to remote work as well. As someone who's not religious, no longer lives close to childhood friends, and never pledged, essentially 100% of my black friends & associates post-college are through my work network & work-driven affinity groups.

Another thing is...church and fraternity involvement were great screening functions filtering out people who were either morally/ethically lost, or weren't interested in community. I myself look back at not joining a black frat as the worst thing I've done for my overall wellbeing as a black man in America. I was young and on my individualistic shyt in college, and never had family to frame the benefits of fraternities for me.

So...where are we finding the community these days? What's working for yall to stay connected?

If you have a Black wife and kids, Jack and Jill is always a good option.
Another is looking for adult sports clubs in parts of your area where there is a large/predominant Black population

Honestly, if you feel bold though go into spaces where you aren't a member and want to build bridges. In the past I have:

*Gone to meetings of the Black student associations at the local business/law/medical graduate schools. Met a lot of good people and never got turned away
*Peeped HBCU local alumni chapters, even though I went to a PWI. The issue here though is a lot of HBCU alumni chapters got older folks--younger alumni tend not to be as involved sometimes unless it is a city like ATL, Charlotte, etc. However, the may know young people to hook you up with
*Go to NAAGA and find a local Black gun club
*If there is a local area with middle class Black folks, check out the town department of Recreation for adult focused activities; in the Philly area Willingboro, NJ is good for this though mostly for kid focused activities (which I use)
*Contact the closest Black owned newspaper/magazine and ask the editor or a writer directly what the Black social circles are. Again no one usually says no
*Go to a Black barbershop on a busy day and ask folks what the social circles are
*Join the local Black owned business association and network
*Finally, see if there are any Black folks near you that are 2nd or 3rd degree contacts on LinkedIn that see legit. Message them and ask what is up. Worst they will do is ignore you

 

[Knuckles Red]

Honestly, I don't know. I've always found it difficult to connect with other black males anyway. There always seemed to be this emphasis on appearing cool, and unbothered. Stoicism, I think, is what I'm getting at. These days I'm more interested in getting to the bottom of who I am. I have a lot of issues, from childhood, that are starting to resurface. I have to focus on myself first before I can worry about connecting with others. It would be nice if there were more opportunities for us to connect with one another as a black male collective.

 

[Neuromancer]

Meet up.com

 

[21stCenturyColiMascot]

4. Gay black men. They don’t want to hire or promote any black men period but if they have to, then gay black men are no different from no.1. Actually, I’ll be honest, I’ve some who were pro-black in silence but they definitely “twirled”‘it up in front of the CACs to seem less threatening. But for the most part, they’re not seen as a threat.

There is an actually study to prove that,

The High-Salary Trifecta: Gay, Black, and Male | Pacific Standard

 

[3rdWorld]

In addition to building community, we also have to promote independence, self reliance and free thought. Community is good, but sometimes common ground is hard to establish with other people and not everyone is an extrovert seeking approval or unification with other people.