Black men...where are we finding community outside of the church and fraternities?

Reality

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Get These Nets said:
One of the consistent top 5 enemies according to general TLR consensus is "The Boule".
So, I have to laugh at this subject being brought up. Not laughing at YOU, just that the topic is being discussed.
Boule was ahead of the curve in addressing all the things you brought up here.

What I suggested to my nephew who is going through this right now is to follow and expand the natural potential networks based on your lifestyle and interests.

-Decent parents attend Parent Teacher conferences, and you will meet other Black fathers there
-Check local Black Media for cultural events and attend those that fit your interests
-Join and attend events from an industry trade group for whatever your profession is

Through the course of a year, you will see some of the same faces again. And you have at least one thing in common with the other Black men there
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I don't know the history of the Boule and I can only judge them by the people I know who have been involved...all women. Small sample size, but they were all very classist, loved proximity to whiteness, and were status obsessed. IG flexers infatuated with white brands and all that. I have a de facto skeptical, negative view as a result, but again, small sample size. I say this as a person who's always been comfortably upper middle class too.

Great tips though.
 
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Judging from the posts, I think brehs are mixing up social groups with community. Idk if OP is thinking of "community" the way I am but there's a difference.
Social groups tend to hinge more on your contemporaries and mutual interests... community spans, well, the community. So you can look to an elder for wisdom, be a role model/mentor to a youngin. A community can have social groups within it. Church provides that, given the fact that it's bringing people of various ages, stripes, talents, and interests together. So... where do we find THAT? :ld:

I've thought a lot about how to replicate it for people that aren't with all the dogma that church has. It's a serious void for us in particular, and you see the void manifesting in more ways than you (I if we're being real) honestly care to see. This might be my fav thread since my return. We should dig deep on this.
 
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Buddy said:
Judging from the posts, I think brehs are mixing up social groups with community. Idk if OP is thinking of "community" the way I am but there's a difference.
Social groups tend to hinge more on your contemporaries and mutual interests... community spans, well, the community. So you can look to an elder for wisdom, be a role model/mentor to a youngin. A community can have social groups within it. Church provides that, given the fact that it's bringing people of various ages, stripes, talents, and interests together. So... where do we find THAT? :ld:

I've thought a lot about how to replicate it for people that aren't with all the dogma that church has. It's a serious void for us in particular, and you see the void manifesting in more ways than you (I if we're being real) honestly care to see. This might be my fav thread since my return. We should dig deep on this.
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I did mean in a broader sense, but I actually think that's more difficult than finding a social group w/in a community. I think a lot of us are just struggling to find like minded groups of black people with similar goals & interests outside of a few cities where black people have critical mass (cities like DC & ATL for example).

This is especially the case for brehs chasing the bag...having a good paying job in tech or Corporate America in general can mean the logistics of being close to work and close to community are opposing forces. But I also feel for brehs who are working & middle class who may have a critical mass of black men around them, but not necessarily men on the same wavelengths in terms of bettering themselves or being trustworthy.
 
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I work with one other person. A black man like myself. He's in a frat, I'm not. His frat has proven to be absolutely worthless to our endeavors.

We've tried to work with more black men, but once the excuses start... we just zone out and move on. Here is how we work. We discuss a plan of action and then execute. No further discussions after the first. Either we're going to try something or we aren't. If someone eventually comes along to meet our work ethic and standards, down to add them on. If not, oh well. We work too hard to let someone coast. Everyone has to pull their weight.

The issue I find is a lot of people want something for nothing. Talking that "when you get on, I get on" nonsense. Those people, like hitchhikers, just get left on the side of the road. Mark Burnett (the creator of Survivor) had a great quote that stuck with me for many years. I'm paraphrasing here, but it essentially goes like this:

"Choose your team before you choose your road."

 
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Reality said:
Serious question. And no the Coli isn't a real answer, though it helps.

A lot of us seem to be living lives of isolation...outside of the church and fraternities, there's not a ton of structure for us to meet & network with other black men who are productive members of society.

If you live or move away from where you grew up due to work or pursuing opportunity, it can be a pretty isolating experience. This is probably getting worse due to remote work as well. As someone who's not religious, no longer lives close to childhood friends, and never pledged, essentially 100% of my black friends & associates post-college are through my work network & work-driven affinity groups.

Another thing is...church and fraternity involvement were great screening functions filtering out people who were either morally/ethically lost, or weren't interested in community. I myself look back at not joining a black frat as the worst thing I've done for my overall wellbeing as a black man in America. I was young and on my individualistic shyt in college, and never had family to frame the benefits of fraternities for me.

So...where are we finding the community these days? What's working for yall to stay connected?
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Church was good at screening out people who were morally and ethically lost??????? :heh:
As someone who grew up in the church I can promise you this is 100% false
 
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