Bedwench Article: Racism On Dating Apps Made Me Regret Trying Tinder & Bumble At All — Here's Why

[DapMeUp!]

Wench sob stories are always hilarious.

Funny how they run back to the men they shyt on looking for sympathy when white zaddy shyts on them

 

[George's Dilemma]

No, this doesn't fly with either. Dating out is a conscious decision. Why can't people just own it? People need to stop pretending not to see race as a way to dodge responsibility for their decisions.

What you meant to say is that some people date out because they're indifferent to racial politics and ok with the racial status quo, while others date out because they openly put other races on a pedestal above their own.

You're projecting and overthinking this. There is no responsibility when it comes to dating. Paying bills is a responsibility, who I fukk is not a responsibility. Who I spend time with recreationally has no bearing on you. If you feel some kind of way about it, that's on you. That's your own insecurity manifesting itself. Beyond that while some brothers might view women of other races as more appealing, the far majority dont think about it that deeply. They just want fukk and have fun. Nobody in their right mind when dating a sister says to themselves, "I'm fulfilling my responsibilities. " If they did I would encourage that sister to put as much distance as possible between her and that weirdo.

 

[ThrobbingHood]

I don't know breh. Several black women told me they legit felt a little hurt when they saw a black man with other races. You can debate whether or not it's rational but this "loyalty" is a thing to some people.

My loyalty is only with my family, friends and black people who I mentor/work with trying to make a difference. I don’t care if some strangers in the street, male or female, are disappointed IF I’m with a non-black woman.

There are black couples that don’t contribute anything positive to the black “community”, which is why I’m looking at the tangibles that individuals add to their neighbourhood. I have more time for a black man/woman who’s putting work but has a non-black spouse, than ain’t shyt black couples who are having ain’t shyt children.

I used to be like that when I was younger and more narrow minded. Thinking anyone who dated/married non-black was a sell out. But to me, the sell outs are the drug dealers, hood rats, gangsters, pimps, ain’t shyt parents. That hurts me seeing that, not if they married black or not.

I wish a lot of our people were more vocal with their “loyalty” and their “hurt” when they see that shyt. But alas, as you said, people aren’t logical.

 

[ThrobbingHood]

Let’s be real we never had the power to control what black women do in America so we don’t even get upset when sista date out. The issue most of us have is the hypocrisy Sista show when it comes to interracial dating.

Come on, let’s keep it 100. If we see a fine sister with a non-black brother, a lot of us may think “damn, what brother fukked that one up?” No black man is battering an eyelid if she’s busted AT ALL.

I wouldn’t say it’s the same “hurt” that some black women feel when they see us dating out, but there’s definitely a feeling of “shyt, I could’ve had a chance.”

But for me at least, it’s momentary. I don’t harbour no resentment to any brother or sister dating out. Just dating black shouldn’t be seen as an achievement. The bar shouldn’t be set so low.

 

[Thanos]

These stories are all the same. Like how far some folks removed from white people to act surprised like this?

 

[ThrobbingHood]

Yes breh. Are you a loser? I'm assuming you're not so again you don't count. That was my point on top of famous/rich people. I didn't explain better in my first post and I'll take the L for that. To make it more clear if you have something going for yourself and or you're attractive they going to want you. If you're some ugly and or bum them same chicks going to say Becky can have him anyway.

That older lady wanted a shot that's why she was relived lol. Let me guess this insecure lady was also DS? I'm going to keep it all the way funky a chick come to me with that you like DS chick I'm turned off straight up. I'm not with that insecure mentality do you talk to DS chicks like Im not black and wouldn't talk to a woman I thought looked good because she was DS. That makes no sense to me and I don't care what the rationale behind it is. I can see if a white chick asked if I talked to them because maybe I'm not into white girls but another black asking me if I'm into black chicks never will sit well with me. Glad I've never had to actually be around inferior thinking folks like that.

I hear what you're saying just think most women on this stuff are hypocrites ime which I will gladly admit is mainly online. I can't be around chicks on this stuff IRL because I'm not with grown folks with overly outward insecurity. That's not a trait I like in women I'm with.

shyt, I know we’re at odds most of the time but this is gospel. This whole “loyalty” comes down to insecurities. It’s not my job to a make a woman feel secure in her own skin based on who I date.

I’ve mainly dated black women, and even then, I’ve had some black women ask me “are you only with her because you like light skinned women?” Or “are you only with her because she this kind of hair/eyes/body shape etc? You don’t like thick/dark skin/short etc.?”

As you said, if you’re a good looking guy and/or have something going for yourself, only then the woman you’re with becomes a matter of contention. Thankfully, most black women in my circle are secure. And most of them are in relationships so I never have to hear that redundant talk with them. It’s usually single/bitter/lonely women who concern themselves with this.

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

On the flip side, brothers only get upset if a sister dates out, based on our own superficial nature. If Precious said today that she’s only dating white men, brothers would be thanking white men for taking her off our hands.

But when a dime like Halle Berry swears off black men, of course we’re gonna feel it more. That’s why I don’t care who dates who. Just don’t put your own down when you date out. Projecting your own insecurities onto your counterparts just to date out is weak.

I get Halle being used as an example, because she was one of the most desired black women, but she's also half white, and has dated black and white men, and all the men say she's crazy.

 

[ThrobbingHood]

I get Halle being used as an example, because she was one of the most desired black women, but she's also half white, and has dated black and white men, and all the men say she's crazy.

True. It’s only because she identifies herself as a black woman, and publicly stated she’s done with black men, that I used her as an example. According to people who subscribe to “racial politics”, she’s seen as a black woman, but personally,

I’ve never claimed anyone biracial as black. We need to stop perpetuating the one drop rule.

It’s one of the reasons the black “community” is in such disarray, that Rachel Dolezal can identify as black and benefit from black resources, but black people with native Indian ancestry get barred from claiming reparations that they’re equally entitled to.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

Come on, let’s keep it 100. If we see a fine sister with a non-black brother, a lot of us may think “damn, what brother fukked that one up?” No black man is battering an eyelid if she’s busted AT ALL.

I wouldn’t say it’s the same “hurt” that some black women feel when they see us dating out, but there’s definitely a feeling of “shyt, I could’ve had a chance.”

But for me at least, it’s momentary. I don’t harbour no resentment to any brother or sister dating out. Just dating black shouldn’t be seen as an achievement. The bar shouldn’t be set so low.

I feel like this is the case for BW too, a lot of time. When we see an unattractive breh we know we wouldn't fukk with, we don't care that he's with a becky. It's when it's an attractive or decent looking BM with money/status that BW feel some kind of way. The reality though is that, if your an attractive person (bw or bm) that doesn't struggle with getting the people that you want, it just doesn't bother you as much...

As for your last line though, I don't think dating black is an achievement, but I feel like it's weird when you meet BW and BM that date everyone else but someone black. I prefer BM, but I can't lie and say that if I met a WM or some other nonBM that I liked, I would bush him because he wasn't black... Even though I know it'd be a very rare possibility, I wouldn't rule it out. At the end of the day, I care less about people that date out, as long as they aren't shytting on their own, or putting that race on a pedestal. I worry for my son, for that reason. He doesn't like black girls at this point, not unless she's mixed looking. I peeped it when we were at the movies once, he saw this mixed chick, and I saw his whole disposition change. It was funny until I realized that the only time he acts like that is when it comes to white girls, mixed girls, latinas, etc. I ask him about other black girls in his class and he tells me straight up, they aren't pretty to him. He's also made troubling remarks about skin color. He's only in first grade, so it's sort of strange to me to see it in him, especially because he doesn't really watch TV like that, and went to a mostly black school, until last year.

 

[philmonroe]

shyt, I know we’re at odds most of the time but this is gospel. This whole “loyalty” comes down to insecurities. It’s not my job to a make a woman feel secure in her own skin based on who I date.

I’ve mainly dated black women, and even then, I’ve had some black women ask me “are you only with her because you like light skinned women?” Or “are you only with her because she this kind of hair/eyes/body shape etc? You don’t like thick/dark skin/short etc.?”

As you said, if you’re a good looking guy and/or have something going for yourself, only then the woman you’re with becomes a matter of contention. Thankfully, most black women in my circle are secure. And most of them are in relationships so I never have to hear that redundant talk with them. It’s usually single/bitter/lonely women who concern themselves with this.

I didn't know we were at odds most of the time lol. Being 100% honest this is how most of my friends see me in real life too. We agree and disagree quite a bit so I guess that's who I am as a person.

Yeah we have to be honest and dating DS women so some next chick feels better is silly. When them chicks were all after Jeremy Meeks I wasn't on some are your daddies light skin with light eyes. I would've felt like a straight bytch if I was on that vibe. You like what you like and I'm not going to try to shame you with some its white supremacy bullshyt on this issue over dating. It might be but to just automatically do that is silly because if that's the case what are the non black and or LS women doing when they are dating DS dudes like myself if LS is always the default beauty? Just for giggles I checked the fine men of if thread in the salon and I don't see all DS dudes. Are we about to ask them chicks about why they don't like DS men or if their daddy DS? That's why this stuff is fugazy

 

[ThrobbingHood]

I feel like this is the case for BW too, a lot of time. When we see an unattractive breh we know we wouldn't fukk with, we don't care that he's with a becky. It's when it's an attractive or decent looking BM with money/status that BW feel some kind of way. The reality though is that, if your an attractive person (bw or bm) that doesn't struggle with getting the people that you want, it just doesn't bother you as much...

That’s my point. If Tiger Woods worked in Walmart, no sister would care if he dated white women. He’d be considered corny by most women. It’s the fact that he is an elite once in a lifetime athlete, that some black women dislike his love of white women.

There was even a black female comedian who said it was disappointing he didn’t have one black woman he cheated on his wife with. This man cheated and she was more upset all the skanks he cheated with were white?

As for your last line though, I don't think dating black is an achievement, but I feel like it's weird when you meet BW and BM that date everyone else but someone black.

I hear that. It usually is linked to self hate issues. Or sometimes, they just haven’t grown up around black people at all.

I prefer BM, but I can't lie and say that if I met a WM or some other nonBM that I liked, I would bush him because he wasn't black... Even though I know it'd be a very rare possibility, I wouldn't rule it out. At the end of the day, I care less about people that date out, as long as they aren't shytting on their own, or putting that race on a pedestal.

Exactly how I feel.

I worry for my son, for that reason. He doesn't like black girls at this point, not unless she's mixed looking. I peeped it when we were at the movies once, he saw this mixed chick, and I saw his whole disposition change. It was funny until I realized that the only time he acts like that is when it comes to white girls, mixed girls, latinas, etc. I ask him about other black girls in his class and he tells me straight up, they aren't pretty to him. He's also made troubling remarks about skin color. He's only in first grade, so it's sort of strange to me to see it in him, especially because he doesn't really watch TV like that, and went to a mostly black school, until last year.

Well we can’t deny white supremacy has done number on us and continues to do so. People are going to blame you for not instilling love for his own skin color and for dark skinned women.

But there’s only so much you can do. You can’t force him into liking black girls. The only thing you can do is put him black environments, whether it’s church, clubs, groups and hopefully he’ll change his stance.

But with social media and the internet conditioning a whole generation, I can only wish you good luck.

 

[ThrobbingHood]

I didn't know we were at odds most of the time lol. Being 100% honest this is how most of my friends see me in real life too. We agree and disagree quite a bit so I guess that's who I am as a person.

I just think we’re both very blunt with our words so it can come across as us clashing.

Yeah we have to be honest and dating DS women so some next chick feels better is silly. When them chicks were all after Jeremy Meeks I wasn't on some are your daddies light skin with light eyes. I would've felt like a straight bytch if I was on that vibe. You like what you like and I'm not going to try to shame you with some its white supremacy bullshyt on this issue over dating. It might be but to just automatically do that is silly because if that's the case what are the non black and or LS women doing when they are dating DS dudes like myself if LS is always the default beauty? Just for giggles I checked the fine men of if thread in the salon and I don't see all DS dudes. Are we about to ask them chicks about why they don't like DS men or if their daddy DS? That's why this stuff is fugazy

For real. When Jeremy Meeks went viral, I cringed when I saw some brothers get upset with attention he was getting. Like why do you care that a felon is getting all this love? It just reeked of insecurities.

It’s rarely talked about how black women can be just as color struck as black men. Maybe because they’re not as openly vocal about it but their actions show it.

I used to work with a guy who looked like a taller version of Drake. Black women, especially dark skinned ones, fawned over him and would make some real comments.

Now I could’ve easily been bitter and complain how unfair it is, except I didn’t. I left that job, got my bread up, and now those same women are jocking me.

People shouldn’t be forced into finding a particular group attractive. They either do or they don’t.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

That’s my point. If Tiger Woods worked in Walmart, no sister would care if he dated white women. He’d be considered corny by most women. It’s the fact that he is an elite once in a lifetime athlete, that some black women dislike his love of white women.

There was even a black female comedian who said it was disappointing he didn’t have one black woman he cheated on his wife with. This man cheated and she was more upset all the skanks he cheated with were white?


I hear that. It usually is linked to self hate issues. Or sometimes, they just haven’t grown up around black people at all.


Exactly how I feel.


Well we can’t deny white supremacy has done number on us and continues to do so. People are going to blame you for not instilling love for his own skin color and for dark skinned women.

But there’s only so much you can do. You can’t force him into liking black girls. The only thing you can do is put him black environments, whether it’s church, clubs, groups and hopefully he’ll change his stance.

But with social media and the internet conditioning a whole generation, I can only wish you good luck.

Thanks breh... The thing is my son likes how he looks. He has some negative views about dark skin(he's light skinned). My sister got mad at me about my son's views (she's dark skin), but he's at weird age, where when I try to talk about it, it doesn't seem like I'm reaching him. But, yeah, I definitely think that exposing him to more blacks and talking with him more, as he gets older, is about all I can do.

 

[Cadillac]

I feel like this is the case for BW too, a lot of time. When we see an unattractive breh we know we wouldn't fukk with, we don't care that he's with a becky. It's when it's an attractive or decent looking BM with money/status that BW feel some kind of way. The reality though is that, if your an attractive person (bw or bm) that doesn't struggle with getting the people that you want, it just doesn't bother you as much...

As for your last line though, I don't think dating black is an achievement, but I feel like it's weird when you meet BW and BM that date everyone else but someone black. I prefer BM, but I can't lie and say that if I met a WM or some other nonBM that I liked, I would bush him because he wasn't black... Even though I know it'd be a very rare possibility, I wouldn't rule it out. At the end of the day, I care less about people that date out, as long as they aren't shytting on their own, or putting that race on a pedestal. I worry for my son, for that reason. He doesn't like black girls at this point, not unless she's mixed looking. I peeped it when we were at the movies once, he saw this mixed chick, and I saw his whole disposition change. It was funny until I realized that the only time he acts like that is when it comes to white girls, mixed girls, latinas, etc. I ask him about other black girls in his class and he tells me straight up, they aren't pretty to him. He's also made troubling remarks about skin color. He's only in first grade, so it's sort of strange to me to see it in him, especially because he doesn't really watch TV like that, and went to a mostly black school, until last year.

was the school he went to last year, majority white?

 

[BlaqkSpliffin]

You're projecting and overthinking this. There is no responsibility when it comes to dating. Paying bills is a responsibility, who I fukk is not a responsibility. Who I spend time with recreationally has no bearing on you. If you feel some kind of way about it, that's on you. That's your own insecurity manifesting itself. Beyond that while some brothers might view women of other races as more appealing, the far majority dont think about it that deeply. They just want fukk and have fun. Nobody in their right mind when dating a sister says to themselves, "I'm fulfilling my responsibilities. " If they did I would encourage that sister to put as much distance as possible between her and that weirdo.

I understand what your saying but I also fundamentally disagree. We all have various responsibilities, whether we choose to accept those responsiblities is another thing though.