Bedwench Article: Racism On Dating Apps Made Me Regret Trying Tinder & Bumble At All — Here's Why

[CarmelBarbie]

was the school he went to last year, majority white?

He started his school last March when we moved to Charlotte. And his school is diverse, 39% black, 41% white, and the rest are some other race. His school before that was like 95% black though. But even at that school, he still managed to find the only white or latina girl in his class attractive, and didn't like the black girls.

 

[ItzRailT]

Dating apps are pretty much for bytches who don't get any real life attention, old hoes, baby mama's looking for their captain save em.

 

[Cadillac]

He started his school last March when we moved to Charlotte. And his school is diverse, 39% black, 41% white, and the rest are some other race. His school before that was like 95% black though. But even at that school, he still managed to find the only white or latina girl in his class attractive, and didn't like the black girls.

damn
and he lightskin to right?

Going off what you have said about everything such as him liking how he looks(his lightskin). Plus the fact he only likes mixed and prolly Lightskin Black women.(you didnt say LS BW, but im assuming thats also what he likes right?)

and this

Thanks breh... The thing is my son likes how he looks. He has some negative views about dark skin(he's light skinned). My sister got mad at me about my son's views (she's dark skin), but he's at weird age, where when I try to talk about it, it doesn't seem like I'm reaching him. But, yeah, I definitely think that exposing him to more blacks and talking with him more, as he gets older, is about all I can do.

Im guessing this boils down to him liking lightskin(in both Black and in other groups) and not understanding the value/beauty/greatness etc of darker tones(brown and Black). As @ThrobbingHood said you could put him in more black environments and teach him the value of darker skins and Blackness.

im prolly oversimplifying it, but this seems to be the nucleus do that and things will be better maybe

 

[CarmelBarbie]

damn
and he lightskin to right?

Going off what you have said about everything such as him liking how he looks(his lightskin). Plus the fact he only likes mixed and prolly Lightskin Black women.(you didnt say LS BW, but im assuming thats also what he likes right?)

and this




Im guessing this boils down to him liking lightskin(in both Black and in other groups) and not understanding the value/beauty/greatness etc of darker tones(brown and Black). As @ThrobbingHood said you could put him in more black environments and teach him the value of darker skins and Blackness.

im prolly oversimplifying it, but this seems to be the nucleus do that and things will be better maybe

Yup, he's light skinned. He's told me before, that being light skinned is awesome, but dark skin is ugly. He was actually talking about some kid in his class when he made that comment. His dad is also real light (at one point my son kept asking if his dad was white, lol). I have tried talking to him about darker skin, but I feel like it came off as awkward. The thing is, there's only one black girl that I think he's ever liked--she was real pretty too. I think he's attracted to a certain look. I've noticed that nearly every white girl he's liked since he was 3(lol), has had that same sort of look. He's been in more black environments lol... And he'll be with his dad and his cousins all summer--and trust me, he'll get all that exposure, just like he did last summer, lol. But, I'm going to try to put more effort toward it next year too.

 

[Babymama Magnet]

I feel like this is the case for BW too, a lot of time. When we see an unattractive breh we know we wouldn't fukk with, we don't care that he's with a becky. It's when it's an attractive or decent looking BM with money/status that BW feel some kind of way. The reality though is that, if your an attractive person (bw or bm) that doesn't struggle with getting the people that you want, it just doesn't bother you as much...

As for your last line though, I don't think dating black is an achievement, but I feel like it's weird when you meet BW and BM that date everyone else but someone black. I prefer BM, but I can't lie and say that if I met a WM or some other nonBM that I liked, I would bush him because he wasn't black... Even though I know it'd be a very rare possibility, I wouldn't rule it out. At the end of the day, I care less about people that date out, as long as they aren't shytting on their own, or putting that race on a pedestal. I worry for my son, for that reason. He doesn't like black girls at this point, not unless she's mixed looking. I peeped it when we were at the movies once, he saw this mixed chick, and I saw his whole disposition change. It was funny until I realized that the only time he acts like that is when it comes to white girls, mixed girls, latinas, etc. I ask him about other black girls in his class and he tells me straight up, they aren't pretty to him. He's also made troubling remarks about skin color. He's only in first grade, so it's sort of strange to me to see it in him, especially because he doesn't really watch TV like that, and went to a mostly black school, until last year.

This is sad.

I remember being a teen and how my attraction to black girls was. I always liked them but my eyes were being swayed by the white and other non-black girls who showed heavy interest in me at that time.

It was only when i took a trip to the caribbean at 16 where i was surrounded by nothing but beautiful, gorgeous black women that my love for them was solidified. I became aware of the beauty of black women in the caribbean thus began to appreciate black women back in the UK and as a whole.

Maybe he needs to be in an environment where he's seeing nothing but attractive black girls, maybe like a beauty paegant or just somewhere where there's an influx of beautiful looking black girls. It's possible this could open his eyes to the beauty of our women

....But if not be prepared to welcome some light-ass grandchildren in the future

 

[BlaqkSpliffin]

Dating apps are pretty much for bytches who don't get any real life attention, old hoes, baby mama's looking for their captain save em.

There's SOOOO much truth to this. That's why I hate when black women use dating sites as some evidence nobody wants them. For one, most men on dating sites just wanna fukk and two, there isn't an amazing amount of desirable women on those apps.

I feel like Tinder and apps like BLK have a better pool of women to a degree because of the ages of the women and popularity but overwhelmingly the women on those apps aren't great and you have to sift through alot of bullshyt to find gold.

 

[MischievousMonkey]

My loyalty is only with my family, friends and black people who I mentor/work with trying to make a difference. I don’t care if some strangers in the street, male or female, are disappointed IF I’m with a non-black woman.

There are black couples that don’t contribute anything positive to the black “community”, which is why I’m looking at the tangibles that individuals add to their neighbourhood. I have more time for a black man/woman who’s putting work but has a non-black spouse, than ain’t shyt black couples who are having ain’t shyt children.

I used to be like that when I was younger and more narrow minded. Thinking anyone who dated/married non-black was a sell out. But to me, the sell outs are the drug dealers, hood rats, gangsters, pimps, ain’t shyt parents. That hurts me seeing that, not if they married black or not.

I wish a lot of our people were more vocal with their “loyalty” and their “hurt” when they see that shyt. But alas, as you said, people aren’t logical.

I hear you loud and clear. I'm pretty young. I'm not dating BW by loyalty but because these are my tastes too. Even tho I grew up in all white environment, the more I grow up the more I'm attracted to BW solely but it's not out of charity or responsibilities.

 

[BlaqkSpliffin]

Yup, he's light skinned. He's told me before, that being light skinned is awesome, but dark skin is ugly. He was actually talking about some kid in his class when he made that comment. His dad is also real light (at one point my son kept asking if his dad was white, lol). I have tried talking to him about darker skin, but I feel like it came off as awkward. The thing is, there's only one black girl that I think he's ever liked--she was real pretty too. I think he's attracted to a certain look. I've noticed that nearly every white girl he's liked since he was 3(lol), has had that same sort of look. He's been in more black environments lol... And he'll be with his dad and his cousins all summer--and trust me, he'll get all that exposure, just like he did last summer, lol. But, I'm going to try to put more effort toward it next year too.

Oh shyt

 

[MischievousMonkey]

Yup, he's light skinned. He's told me before, that being light skinned is awesome, but dark skin is ugly. He was actually talking about some kid in his class when he made that comment. His dad is also real light (at one point my son kept asking if his dad was white, lol). I have tried talking to him about darker skin, but I feel like it came off as awkward. The thing is, there's only one black girl that I think he's ever liked--she was real pretty too. I think he's attracted to a certain look. I've noticed that nearly every white girl he's liked since he was 3(lol), has had that same sort of look. He's been in more black environments lol... And he'll be with his dad and his cousins all summer--and trust me, he'll get all that exposure, just like he did last summer, lol. But, I'm going to try to put more effort toward it next year too.

That's tough. You can't force your children to like specific things. It often produces the reverse effect. At the end of the day, he likes what he likes but no need to put down darker skin for that.

Maybe you could talk to him a little bit about colorism if a discussion around the topic arises? Not to make him like darker tones, but at least for him to respect them.

 

[Thatrogueassdiaz]

I'm just wondering how you can guarantee such without knowing me? Girls might like my height, body, money, sex game, looks, etc more than yours but you know for sure your that dude over someone you know nothing about? That makes no sense and sounds like insecure barking. Why you out here talking about chick babble about finding the right one if you're the man like that? The math isn't adding up my friend.

You're right its over my head because its high flying garbage that sounds like stuff a chick would say Ye shrug.

The very fact that you needed to reply to my initial post and disagree told me everything I needed to know. Anyways, live and let live.

 

[George's Dilemma]

I understand what your saying but I also fundamentally disagree. We all have various responsibilities, whether we choose to accept those responsiblities is another thing though.

So what are the various responsibilities that we need to accept when choosing who we date? Why is it fundamental that I date exclusively Black women?

In addition if a successful and attractive Black man chooses not to date at all and goes through life single, is he also not fulfilling his responsibilities as it pertains to Black women?

 

[George's Dilemma]

He's told me before, that being light skinned is awesome, but dark skin is ugly

Weird to me that he's thinking about that kind of thing so early. You said 1st grade, right? I dont think I started thinking about girls in terms of skin tone until high school. White girls weren't even on my radar until after high school when I started branching out more getting exposed to different people and social settings.

 

[philmonroe]

The very fact that you needed to reply to my initial post and disagree told me everything I needed to know. Anyways, live and let live.

My dude you're doing tooooo much female stuff. We are on a messageboard where we all post to other people's post we agree or disagree with. What type of time are you on? Ole I the very fact blah blah blah. My initial post to you just basically soda I disagree with how you go about your dating business. Then next thing I know you getting all these girls over me when I didn't even come at you on that type of vibe. I always live and let live but since we on a messagebaord I thought we were just having regular convo. Guess not. Enjoy the rest of your day sir.

 

[Tim Dripcan]

Yup, he's light skinned. He's told me before, that being light skinned is awesome, but dark skin is ugly. He was actually talking about some kid in his class when he made that comment. His dad is also real light (at one point my son kept asking if his dad was white, lol). I have tried talking to him about darker skin, but I feel like it came off as awkward. The thing is, there's only one black girl that I think he's ever liked--she was real pretty too. I think he's attracted to a certain look. I've noticed that nearly every white girl he's liked since he was 3(lol), has had that same sort of look. He's been in more black environments lol... And he'll be with his dad and his cousins all summer--and trust me, he'll get all that exposure, just like he did last summer, lol. But, I'm going to try to put more effort toward it next year too.

U and his father should teach your son about being a self respecting black man. What if he bumps into a racist person? Is he going to c00n and be submissive? Or stand strong like an OGUN warrior? That’s assuming his father don’t have c00n tendencies like his son. And you don’t want no soft self hating son. That’s why I’m glad my pops taught me how to box and powerful black history when I was a kid. Mom taught me how to love my blackness too. Big reason why I only date black women. Got a thing for dark skin chicks. But I do date black women of all shades.

Maybe it’s the environment he’s in. I remember you posted something about you being around mostly white folks at your career/area or something like that.

As for you not turning down any non black men advances. Good luck. You’ve been warned. I hope u don’t end up like black women with anti black partners.

 

[Guile]

why do these women think men who are intently looking to fukk will give a shyt about them outside of that, especially black women expecting this from white men?
also these black women gotta stop writing these dumb liberal thought pieces, have some goddamn respect for yourself.