Are we partly responsible for black women's self-hate issues?

[SamuraiFlamenco]

When did I say it doesn't shock me? Again this site loves putting words in other poster's post. And my comment you quoted wasn't just aimed at dark skin men but ALL dark skin people, at some point you have to find esteem in yourself.

I mean look at me (the person in my avi is me), I'm a dark skin black woman with her natural hair, hair that is deemed the least desirable on the natural hair hierarchy (4C). And guess what? I was clowned for my skin tone as well by both boys and girls when I was younger. But what I did was start to love me for who I am my skin tone, my hair texture, everything. I didn't look for black men, white men, indian men, no man to tell me I looked good to help me think that way. I looked toward myself which is why it's called self esteem. Some people need to grow out of the "I got teased when I was younger wah wah wah poor me" looking for attention and sympathy and start loving themselves. Get some confidence, grow some balls.

This is all well and good, and it is a great thing that you have self-esteem, it really is. That being said, the honest truth is that the way that the world works, the darker you are, the harder your life will be socially. That's just how it is. You ever notice how a lot of CaC sororities will take a token minority girl or two as long as they aren't "too ethnic".

The truth is that black people as a whole have no self-esteem about who they are. When Paul Mooney said "Everybody wants to be a nikka but nobody wants to be a nikka", he wasn't just talking about non-blacks

 

[SamuraiFlamenco]

The "80% CaC" thing was just to explain how most of the "best-looking" black people usually have a lot of white blood in them. The reality of their beauty can be debated, but them being "presented" as the "best" is pretty much a fact.

I don't think that's true. An attractive man is an attractive man, and most women with sense would choose an attractive dark-skinned man with nappy hair and some business about himself over a mixed dude that only had a lil bit of "good hair" and "light skin" to offer.



Also this board gets on my damn nerves because y'all are always shaking your damn heads and wagging your damn fingers at how dysfunctional the black community is...but it's like DUH!! We're a work in fukking progress. We were stolen from our homes and brought to a foreign fukking country and socialized into thinking everything that we are and come from is shytty but everything that is White is


And I'm not ashamed to admit that my lil one is light skinned and her hair is a great deal more manageable than mine and I know for a fact that even though I'm cute, if my baby pic and her baby pic were compared, in most of the black community the votes would be unanimous.. Ding ding ding, she'd be the winner. Everyone isn't as forward thinking as me and you. I believe black is beautiful and if I could go back to elementary and middle school me (hell even 9th grade), I would have a little more balls and I'd stick up for my fellow hershey bars..but hey you live and you learn.

Don't forget people... We're a work in progress!

Yeah, but then one has to remember that Asian and Indians have their shyt together and still consider "darker" people to be worse than the lighter people. Just look at all teh Bollywood actors/actresses. They're all light-skinned. What I'm saying is that black women are probably harsher on darker men than men are to darker women. Men are just allowed to "be shallow" publicly, but we all know women are super picky

The truth is that it seems like no other group is as dysfunctional as black Americans. Even blacks in other countries or in Africa are this way.

 

[Arishok]

The "80% CaC" thing was just to explain how most of the "best-looking" black people usually have a lot of white blood in them. The reality of their beauty can be debated, but them being "presented" as the "best" is pretty much a fact.




Yeah, but then one has to remember that Asian and Indians have their shyt together and still consider "darker" people to be worse than the lighter people. Just look at all teh Bollywood actors/actresses. They're all light-skinned. What I'm saying is that black women are probably harsher on darker men than men are to darker women. Men are just allowed to "be shallow" publicly, but we all know women are super picky

The truth is that it seems like no other group is as dysfunctional as black Americans. Even blacks in other countries or in Africa are this way.

if we're talking dysfunction, we're actually the least dysfunctional. You have Indian and Asian parents who, by large percentages, encourage skin bleaching or to marry light. The only thing black Americans have to deal with are a couple of jokes from other kids and weaves for the most part. Quiet as kept, even white people dysfunctional. The only reason black Americans seems to be more dysfunction is because we air all our buisness on the streets.

And you still haven't shown a "black" person with 80% white blood whose deemed attractive. Chris Brown is your run of the mill light skin dude but no way you're confusing him for a white dude like Kris Humphrey nor does he have a significant white blood.

 

[Matt504]

When did I say it doesn't shock me? Again this site loves putting words in other poster's post. And my comment you quoted wasn't just aimed at dark skin men but ALL dark skin people, at some point you have to find esteem in yourself.

I mean look at me (the person in my avi is me), I'm a dark skin black woman with her natural hair, hair that is deemed the least desirable on the natural hair hierarchy (4C). And guess what? I was clowned for my skin tone as well by both boys and girls when I was younger. But what I did was start to love me for who I am my skin tone, my hair texture, everything. I didn't look for black men, white men, indian men, no man to tell me I looked good to help me think that way. I looked toward myself which is why it's called self esteem. Some people need to grow out of the "I got teased when I was younger wah wah wah poor me" looking for attention and sympathy and start loving themselves. Get some confidence, grow some balls.

I love your hair,

thirst aside, I agree, people should build self confidence, but even if every single Black person on planet earth gained self confidence over night, it would be gradually torn down back to where it currently is, because we live in a world where the way people are treated is based on the color of their skin.

I have pretty decent self confidence, but all my self confidence doesn't prevent white people from treating me differently than they treat other white people, or looking at me and fearing my appearance because I'm a tall dark skinned male with long dreadlocks.

this takes a toll on me and makes me go to great lengths to avoid coming into contact with white people whenever I don't have to because I prefer to be treated like a human when interacting with other humans.

I don't think the human psyche is made to continually be treated as "other" and not feel some type of way after be treated that way for so long.

 

[Busted_Toes]

deuces

 

[Vashti]

When did I say it doesn't shock me? Again this site loves putting words in other poster's post. And my comment you quoted wasn't just aimed at dark skin men but ALL dark skin people, at some point you have to find esteem in yourself.

I mean look at me (the person in my avi is me), I'm a dark skin black woman with her natural hair, hair that is deemed the least desirable on the natural hair hierarchy (4C). And guess what? I was clowned for my skin tone as well by both boys and girls when I was younger. But what I did was start to love me for who I am my skin tone, my hair texture, everything. I didn't look for black men, white men, indian men, no man to tell me I looked good to help me think that way. I looked toward myself which is why it's called self esteem. Some people need to grow out of the "I got teased when I was younger wah wah wah poor me" looking for attention and sympathy and start loving themselves. Get some confidence, grow some balls.

Girl yessssssss!

 

[SamuraiFlamenco]

if we're talking dysfunction, we're actually the least dysfunctional. You have Indian and Asian parents who, by large percentages, encourage skin bleaching or to marry light. The only thing black Americans have to deal with are a couple of jokes from other kids and weaves for the most part. Quiet as kept, even white people dysfunctional. The only reason black Americans seems to be more dysfunction is because we air all our buisness on the streets.

The reason they do that is because they see the advantages that light skin bring. To them, why marry someone that is darker and have a harder life for you and your kids when you can marry a lighter person and your life will be easier? Even if the girl isn't that attractive, "lighter" minorities are seen as "prettier" by a lot of folk. As long as being "lighter" has very tangible advantages, they'll always want to be lighter.

If being darker had the same benefits, they'd all be tanning and marrying black/darker people

 

[Arishok]

I love your hair,

thirst aside, I agree, people should build self confidence, but even if every single Black person on planet earth gained self confidence over night, it would be gradually torn down back to where it currently is, because we live in a world where the way people are treated is based on the color of their skin.

I have pretty decent self confidence, but all my self confidence doesn't prevent white people from treating me differently than they treat other white people, or looking at me and fearing my appearance because I'm a tall dark skinned male with long dreadlocks.

this takes a toll on me and makes me go to great lengths to avoid coming into contact with white people whenever I don't have to because I prefer to be treated like a human when interacting with other humans.

I don't think the human psyche is made to continually be treated as "other" and not feel some type of way after be treated that way for so long.

And this is the problem with most people of color in my opinion. Not saying you're doing this but we care too much about what white people think. I go to University of Illinois which is overwhelmingly white and asian and they stare and gawk at me as well but I don't care because I don't care what they think or anyone for that matter, as long as I'm happy with me that's all that counts. I honestly feel that if no one else but white people started to "accept" black people, blacks will be a lot happier with themselves no matter what other blacks or races think which is sad to mean. It seems like it all boils down to "but white people..."

 

[Arishok]

The reason they do that is because they see the advantages that light skin bring. To them, why marry someone that is darker and have a harder life for you and your kids when you can marry a lighter person and your life will be easier? Even if the girl isn't that attractive, "lighter" minorities are seen as "prettier" by a lot of folk. As long as being "lighter" has very tangible advantages, they'll always want to be lighter.

If being darker had the same benefits, they'd all be tanning and marrying black/darker people

And after reading this comment, I'm convinced that this all boils down to "what do white people think" mentality and people of color need to grow out of that and stand on their own two feet.

 

[SamuraiFlamenco]

It's not just white people, ALMOST EVERYONE views darker people like trash, especially dark black people. Even if a person looked like a model, was smart, cool, etc, people would be like "shame they're so dark". It would be one thing if white people said that shyt and they could get love in the black community, but even black people are quick to make fun of someone that's too dark.

It is important to have self-esteem though, because most people aren't going to like you, and that's just the truth.

 

[Matt504]

And this is the problem with most people of color in my opinion. Not saying you're doing this but we care too much about what white people think. I go to University of Illinois which is overwhelmingly white and asian and they stare and gawk at me as well but I don't care because I don't care what they think or anyone for that matter, as long as I'm happy with me that's all that counts. I honestly feel that if no one else but white people started to "accept" black people, blacks will be a lot happier with themselves no matter what other blacks or races think which is sad to mean. It seems like it all boils down to "but white people..."

make no mistake, I'm not looking for white acceptance, nor do I care what white people think of me, but when I have to interact with someone who treats me like I'm inferior to them, it bothers me, no matter how much self confidence a person has, they don't like being treated as "other" or "less than".

I go to great lengths to treat everyone I interact with with dignity and respect, and it bothers me when I can't get the same in return for no reason other than my appearance.

 

[Vashti]

The "80% CaC" thing was just to explain how most of the "best-looking" black people usually have a lot of white blood in them. The reality of their beauty can be debated, but them being "presented" as the "best" is pretty much a fact.




Yeah, but then one has to remember that Asian and Indians have their shyt together and still consider "darker" people to be worse than the lighter people. Just look at all teh Bollywood actors/actresses. They're all light-skinned. What I'm saying is that black women are probably harsher on darker men than men are to darker women. Men are just allowed to "be shallow" publicly, but we all know women are super picky

The truth is that it seems like no other group is as dysfunctional as black Americans. Even blacks in other countries or in Africa are this way.

Ok..so that just confirms that Cacs have taken over worldwide. What else is new?

You really have to stop crying about spilt milk though. I'm really just getting the impression that you've been rejected because of your color and now you're projecting that onto black women. Obviously somewhere in this world dark-skinned women and dark-skinned men are getting it in with each other or else there wouldn't be so many dark-skinned ass people out here.

 

[Anothergirl]

15 pages tho

 

[Arishok]

It's not just white people, ALMOST EVERYONE views darker people like trash, especially dark black people. Even if a person looked like a model, was smart, cool, etc, people would be like "shame they're so dark". It would be one thing if white people said that shyt and they could get love in the black community, but even black people are quick to make fun of someone that's too dark.

It is important to have self-esteem though, because most people aren't going to like you, and that's just the truth.

You know what I want to have a real heart to heart with you because until you see that IT IS all about what white people think, you won't get what I'm saying.

Why do you think EVERYONE hates darker people? Every race has a significant darker and lighter shade expect who? Why is lighter skin held more highly? Because the race without significant difference in skintone is the standard of beauty EVERYWHERE! That's why I said if the standard changed and white people started going "darker skin tones like Lance Gross and Lupita are more beautiful than ours" (which we know won't happen but let's just pretend for a moment here), NO MATTER WHAT ANY OTHER RACE THOUGHT, AS LONG AS WHITE PEOPLE LOVE IT, PEOPLE OF COLOR FALL IN LINE.

 

[Matt504]

And after reading this comment, I'm convinced that this all boils down to "what do white people think" mentality and people of color need to grow out of that and stand on their own two feet.

if it was as simple as growing out of it, then the problem wouldn't be as bad as it is.

this world is dominated by white supremacy and as long as the world remains that way, the great majority non-white people will aspire to assimilate into white norms, customs and ideologies.