Are we partly responsible for black women's self-hate issues?

[Arishok]

Honey, if you're "light skinned", you're more CaC than you are black. I always find it funny how earlier you all were shytting on me for the "european" features joint, but most of the black men/women you deem as "attractive" all have significant white ancestry. You all act like black men prop up light skinned women, but most black male sex symbols are light skinned. Back in the day this nikka

Got a lot of flack because some were worried he was too dark to be a good R&B singer.

I think you have the wrong chick? I've never shyted on anyone for liking "european" features because I don't even believe in that notion. And I don't think men like Boris Kodjoe, Morris Chestnut, Lance Gross, Idris Elba, or Cam Newton have significant white ancestry and these are the men I find attractive.

It seems like this site is full of people that put words in your mouth....

Actually, yes to Boris I think he's biracial but the rest still stand.

 

[Vashti]

Honey, if you're "light skinned", you're more CaC than you are black. I always find it funny how earlier you all were shytting on me for the "european" features joint, but most of the black men/women you deem as "attractive" all have significant white ancestry. You all act like black men prop up light skinned women, but most black male sex symbols are light skinned. Back in the day this nikka

Got a lot of flack because some were worried he was too dark to be a good R&B singer.

Idris Elba?

 

[Arishok]

I honestly believe some of y'all were made fun of for being dark skin awhile ago and probably still are to some degree and haven't learned to just let that shyt go. If you're good looking then fukk what some color struck person has to say about you, on to the next one. I mean it's called SELF esteem for a reason, stop looking to other people be they black or non black for validation of your features and learn to love you for you. Blaming others for why you don't feel you or people that look like you don't look good is your own fault after awhile.

 

[SamuraiFlamenco]

Y'all really need to stop being so glib.. We can all agree that in a shallow society, more emphasis is put on how women look than how men look.

An extremely simplistic view i


Yeah I laughed until I matured a little and realized that shyt wasn't cute... But damn, what kid DIDN'T get made fun of when they were younger. I mean damn..quit all that bytching.

Also if you really want to talk about being made fun of..I have an authentic african last name since my dad is from Congo and you don't even wanna know how many ways people can make fun of that. It's life. I know plenty of dark skin dudes that have girlfriends..because they're handsome and cool af.

Are you dark skinned?

I have another question...how many WELL-KNOWN, BLACK, FEMALE musicians or actresses have you heard say they only want a "red-bone" male? We all know Lil Wayne's famous line "Beautiful black woman, bet that b**** look better red." That's the sentiment of a lot of black men. Not all, but a lot.

Women are smart about not being obvious about what they want. They say they don't care about a female's looks but they do. They all talk about wanting a baby with "good hair" and "light skin". They said it in school with no shame. Now they'll try to hide it but it's obvious that they consider "lighter" men more attractive than darker ones.

And yeah, lots of kids were made fun of while younger, but how sad is it that BLACK PEOPLE make fun of OTHER BLACKS for being BLACK, or having an authentic African name? Too many black people say that "black and proud" stuff but are quick to put down someone "blacker" than yourselves.

 

[Vashti]

That's one thing I don't like about the coli. Y'all are quick to call any "brown" black dude "dark skin". Cam is probably of an "average" complexion for black dudes. Y'all act like if a dude isn't complexion he's darkskinned. THIS is darkskinned

And all these dudes got clowned for their complexion growing up, MAINLY by other blacks.

The fact that you think a person has to be 80% CaC to be lightskinned tells me y'all are the c00ns.

I'm their color and I was clowned by my complexion growing up also. It's not a male thing or a female thing.. It's just a dark-skinned thing.

 

[↓R↑LYB]

you are really deeply rooted in and blinded by your own ignorance.

the example you cited is a Black celebrity funded by White corporations to make self destructive music that perpetuates ignorance in the Black community.

White supremacy has reduced the value of all non-white people, and colorism is nothing more than a side effect of the disease that is white supremacy.

If a Black child is born into a world where the closer someone is to White, the better treatment they receive, then it's no surprise that their idea of what's beautiful will scale from the lightest being the most desirable and darkness being unwanted.

Black people didn't suddenly wake up one day and not like their nappy hair and dark skin, it was taught to them for hundreds of years and those standards are passed down generationally by Black people and constantly reinforced in the media hence Lil Wayne's line in that song.

I don't like that Wayne said that, but I'm not blind to what laid the groundwork for his line of thought, and it isn't simply because Black men are born hating dark skinned Black women.

And to add to that, it didn't just happen in the US. Haiti and Rwanda had the exact same thing done to them.

And it wasn't just black folks. Great Britain did the same thing to the dark skinned Indians.

 

[SamuraiFlamenco]

I'm their color and I was clowned by my complexion growing up also. It's not a male thing or a female thing.. It's just a dark-skinned thing.

Yeah, but again no one wants to acknowledge that. They want to act as if it's only women that get shat on for being dark, or that being a light-skinned male is bad even though those males are seen as "more attractive" than darker males.

I honestly believe some of y'all were made fun of for being dark skin awhile ago and probably still are to some degree and haven't learned to just let that shyt go. If you're good looking then fukk what some color struck person has to say about you, on to the next one. I mean it's called SELF esteem for a reason, stop looking to other people be they black or non black for validation of your features and learn to love you for you. Blaming others for why you don't feel you or people that look like you don't look good is your own fault after awhile.

And yet black women can't accept the fact that they're not white and don't have straight hair so they wear weaves, perms, and put relaxers in their hair. They want to date white or "lighter" men as a way "improving" themselves and getting ahead in the world. The fact that BLACK people make fun of darker people or Africans while putting "whiter" blacks on a pedestal doesn't shock you is really sad.

 

[How Sway?]

I honestly believe some of y'all were made fun of for being dark skin awhile ago and probably still are to some degree and haven't learned to just let that shyt go. If you're good looking then fukk what some color struck person has to say about you, on to the next one. I mean it's called SELF esteem for a reason, stop looking to other people be they black or non black for validation of your features and learn to love you for you. Blaming others for why you don't feel you or people that look like you don't look good is your own fault after awhile.

this can be applied to both men and women

 

[Matt504]

And to add to that, it didn't just happen in the US. Haiti and Rwanda had the exact same thing done to them.

And it wasn't just black folks. Great Britain did the same thing to the dark skinned Indians.

this is the point people don't get, we live in a global system of white supremacy, and this same thing has been done to ALL dark people across the globe.

but I guess it's their fault for not pointing the finger at themselves.

 

[SamuraiFlamenco]

Chris Brown ain't 80% white and he's light skin, hell I got a cousin whose light skin and our mothers are sisters. My grandmother is also light skin. Sorry if I offended any "brown" skin people by calling them dark skin. I've said it once I'll say it again I always considered every black person brown, it's just light skin means light brown and dark skin means dark brown to me.

He looks pretty white to me . For comparison, guess what race this girl is

 

[Arishok]

Yeah, but again no one wants to acknowledge that. They want to act as if it's only women that get shat on for being dark, or that being a light-skinned male is bad even though those males are seen as "more attractive" than darker males.




And yet black women can't accept the fact that they're not white and don't have straight hair so they wear weaves, perms, and put relaxers in their hair. They want to date white or "lighter" men as a way "improving" themselves and getting ahead in the world. The fact that BLACK people make fun of darker people or Africans while putting "whiter" blacks on a pedestal doesn't shock you is really sad.

When did I say it doesn't shock me? Again this site loves putting words in other poster's post. And my comment you quoted wasn't just aimed at dark skin men but ALL dark skin people, at some point you have to find esteem in yourself.

I mean look at me (the person in my avi is me), I'm a dark skin black woman with her natural hair, hair that is deemed the least desirable on the natural hair hierarchy (4C). And guess what? I was clowned for my skin tone as well by both boys and girls when I was younger. But what I did was start to love me for who I am my skin tone, my hair texture, everything. I didn't look for black men, white men, indian men, no man to tell me I looked good to help me think that way. I looked toward myself which is why it's called self esteem. Some people need to grow out of the "I got teased when I was younger wah wah wah poor me" looking for attention and sympathy and start loving themselves. Get some confidence, grow some balls.

 

[Danny Up]

It's hard to gauge but imo, no. Self hatred is an internal problem. At some point you have to recognize the bullshyt for what it is

 

[Tommy Knocks]

He looks pretty white to me . For comparison, guess what race this girl is

 

[Vashti]

Women are smart about not being obvious about what they want. They say they don't care about a female's looks but they do. They all talk about wanting a baby with "good hair" and "light skin". They said it in school with no shame. Now they'll try to hide it but it's obvious that they consider "lighter" men more attractive than darker ones.

And yeah, lots of kids were made fun of while younger, but how sad is it that BLACK PEOPLE make fun of OTHER BLACKS for being BLACK, or having an authentic African name? Too many black people say that "black and proud" stuff but are quick to put down someone "blacker" than yourselves.

I don't think that's true. An attractive man is an attractive man, and most women with sense would choose an attractive dark-skinned man with nappy hair and some business about himself over a mixed dude that only had a lil bit of "good hair" and "light skin" to offer.



Also this board gets on my damn nerves because y'all are always shaking your damn heads and wagging your damn fingers at how dysfunctional the black community is...but it's like DUH!! We're a work in fukking progress. We were stolen from our homes and brought to a foreign fukking country and socialized into thinking everything that we are and come from is shytty but everything that is White is


And I'm not ashamed to admit that my lil one is light skinned and her hair is a great deal more manageable than mine and I know for a fact that even though I'm cute, if my baby pic and her baby pic were compared, in most of the black community the votes would be unanimous.. Ding ding ding, she'd be the winner. Everyone isn't as forward thinking as me and you. I believe black is beautiful and if I could go back to elementary and middle school me (hell even 9th grade), I would have a little more balls and I'd stick up for my fellow hershey bars..but hey you live and you learn.

Don't forget people... We're a work in progress!

 

[Arishok]

He looks pretty white to me . For comparison, guess what race this girl is

But you said people with 80% CAC blood not people that "look' white (which Chris Brown doesn't by the way). I could show you pics of grandparents, my grandfather is dark and my grandmother is light and she doesn't look "80% cac" nor does she have white blood (that we know of for the moment.)

And the girl looks like a dark ass white girl.