Are we partly responsible for black women's self-hate issues?
- Thread starter sakano
- Start date
i was actually
There was nothing sarcastic about that post. That post was pretty much your position in a nutshell. I guess reading it makes you realize how ridiculous you sound most of the time so you thought it was sarcasm
How Black men are responsible for the self esteem of Black women? They are in the same way any man/woman is toward the men/women of their race. It is not wholly on them, but they play a big part. Black men putting lighter skin and non-Black women and their features on a pedestal over what can be considered "traditionally Black" features (kinkier hair, fuller lips and nose) is damaging to Black women's self esteem collectively.
And yes Black women are responsible for Black men's self esteem to an extent. However, Black women have done a much better job, perhaps too good of a job, of actually adding to Black men's self esteem. Black women show a strong preference for darker skin in Black males. Even if you say they don't, they certainly don't prefer lighter skin in the way much evidence points to Black men place a higher value on it. I know you will bring up the 80s where some Black women were showing preferences to the Al B Sure types, but Black women grew out of that phase. We long ago made it a safer space for dark skin Black men to have confidence and feel just as attractive if not more so than lighter skinned, "wavy-er" Black men. Can you say Black men have done the same for Black women?
So black men talking up lighter skin black women damages self esteem (lighter skin women don't account as black in this instance?) but black women talking up darker skin black men is a self esteem builder (lighter skin men don't account as black in this instance?)?
Jone2three45
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PartyHeart
All Star
Good question, they do count as Black (if they are actually Black and not biracial). However to act as if uplifting light skin is the same as uplifting dark skin as a Black person would pretty much ignore an entire history of colorism and things like house and field negros. One of them has been historically treated better because of their supposed proximity to whiteness.
Light skin doesn't really need any extra effort to be seen as beautiful/desirable in society. Can you say the same for dark skin?
Historically I see the issue but it's a little absurd to marginalize part of the race to prove a point.
PartyHeart
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Jone2three45
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No, I've never posted either one of those statements here. I don't believe that black men become thugs because of black women. I believe that black men become thugs mainly because of lack of opportunity, thug behavior is glorified and promoted to black men, and our society conditions black men to feel like they don't have the cacpacity to be much else. I believe that black women are conditioned to like thugs themselves.So you're saying you don't agree with and have never said these two things: 1) Black men become thugs and lowlives because thats what Black women want and 2) women are natural followers to men
As far as women naturally following men, I've never said that but I believe it. The problem is that black women are trying to follow white men in hopes of being accepted and validated.
Now here's a simple question for you. Who's more responsible for the perpetuation of the negative stereotypes and images of black women in the media, black women or black men?
PartyHeart
All Star
It doesn't marginalize a part of the race to make a concerted effort to uplift a larger part of the race that is much more marginalized already.
I am not saying to demonize light skin Black women. First of all I know it will never happen and secondly I don't want it to. I think there is plenty of space for all shades of Black women to get their due shine. There's equal beauty in all of us.
EDIT: And I focus on light skin Black women because honestly I assume that is who you are speaking up for. Rarely do I hear Black men speak up for light skin Black men who are actually the ones who are marginalized in the way you brought up.
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more
black women didn't just suddenly grow out of it. there was media promotion of black men that helped get BW off the light skinned kick. i don't really know what to tell ya as far as black men creating a safer space for dark skinned BW. attractive dark skinned chicks have an endless supply of friends waiting to simp. it only seems like a concern when you're plugged into the digital jewbox, where every black man is with a mixed chick. as for the hair issue, women have to take charge of that. because despite all this rhetoric, you and i both know women arent going to take guys opinion on hair seriously. y'all been doing that f hair shyt from grandmother to mother to daughter, house could consist of no males at all.
But how to do determine darker skin individuals are the larger part of he race? Skin color especially I the context of what black men have uplifted in this manner is very subjective.
I'm not even trying to do an elongated back and forth because I see you view. That said one side of the equation in their quest to be respected rightfully tramples over their own sisters.
btw, @PartyHeart here's something else i noticed. black women are hypocrites. you ask these black women (not any of this conscious forum chicks) to name some black women they'd put in a beauty contest against women of other races, i guarantee the majority of them would pick the same biracial chicks black men would pick. y'all are not on this uber pro-black tip either. even in your own spaces, controlled by black women, y'all put biracial women on a pedestal.
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So @PartyHeart, I'm brown but my mom and sister are high yellow, should I be disallowed to like lightskinned girls because it hurts your feelings?
Shockingly I go for dark skinned women but this fantasy world where every Black man has a red bone or lite brite on their arms is hilarious.
Shockingly I go for dark skinned women but this fantasy world where every Black man has a red bone or lite brite on their arms is hilarious.