Are OLDER brehs who are 35+ with no kids or a wife that way because they are really SOCIAL OUTCASTS?

[Bugzbunny129]

I watched all my cousins girls take all their kids from them.

Even the ones that didnt, bytches still cheated.

That aint my life

 

[Ol’Otis]

Nah ugly muthafucas make kids everyday...

Broke mfkas do too

 

[Jazzy B.]

So if most people in his social circle didn’t have kids or aren't married? Does that not make him an outcast?

That's the thing.

If you had friends, peers and family like that where the expectation is also shared in their own circles how are you all going from 21-35 without one of the two happening?

21 - 35 is 14 long ass years breh.

Brehs getting upset like 35 is 25, when it's 5 years off 40 years old.
Your parents and older relatives aren't asking questions? grandma and mom don't wan't no additional grandkids and great grand kids?

What if he has no social circle?

Then I wouldn't expect there to be any sort of pressure which is why I'm asking if that is the reason for these scenarios with brehs that age.

 

[Weaver31]

that is what he is talking about
if everyone has a wife and kids in your social circle and you don't its awkward for some people
they are talking about school for their kids or different things in their marriages and you can't participate

I see what u saying here....it's like it's not ur fault but u can't participate in certain situations like other's can.

 

[Ohene]

An oddity isn’t always a bad thing sure. But being “older” and not being able to hold down and commit to a stable relationship is speaking more on the person, negatively.

i disagree. standards are a real thing.

 

[Balla]

That's the thing.

If you had friends, peers and family like that where the expectation is also shared in their own circles how are you all going from 21-35 without one of the two happening?

21 - 35 is 14 long ass years breh.

Brehs getting upset like 35 is 25, when it's 5 years off 40 years old.
Your parents and older relatives aren't asking questions? grandma and mom don't wan't no additional grandkids and great grand kids?



Then I wouldn't expect there to be any sort of pressure which is why I'm asking if that is the reason for these scenarios with brehs that age.

The way you’re saying this makes it sound more like brehs should have kids because of pressure than brehs really wanting kids though.

You really feel everyone that’s above 30 should have kids based on pressure?

We all know not everyone wants kids.

I wouldn’t say they are a social outcast if they don’t want children.

They’ll be the odd one out if everyone else has kids in their group, but to me it doesn’t make sense at all to have kids because you’re being pressured into it.

I can’t say someone is a social outcast if they truly do not want children. I find that they’re strong minded to do what they want even while being pressured.

Are you worried about this happening to you breh? Because if you not 30 and you know you want a fam soon, you should be good in your group then.

 

[Diyhai]

I see what u saying here....it's like it's not ur fault but u can't participate in certain situations like other's can.

its doesnt matter, not saying you should conform to the social norm
but being unaware of the dynamics is another thing
your friendship will change if you aren't able to participate in those shared experiences
everybody going to the park with their kids and you have none
a date night you can't keep bringing different women it fukks up the dynamic
you become an outsider at that point

 

[Uncle Trill]

Damn near everyone in my social circle/age are now starting to pop out kids or get married and I ain’t even 30. How are y’all older brehs getting to 35+ with NO wife or NO kids and NOT feeling out of place with your peers and not getting hit by the social expectation/pressure to have at least one unless you’re not outcasted socially?

I couldn’t imagine being that age without having at least one of the two when everyone around me my age has at least one

DISCLAIMER: Do NOT run in here comparing y’allselves to a celebrity. You are REGULAR

stfu and mind your business bytch

 

[Weaver31]

its doesnt matter, not saying you should conform to the social norm
but being unaware of the dynamics is another thing
your friendship will change if you aren't able to participate in those shared experiences
everybody going to the park with their kids and you have none
a date night you can't keep bringing different women it fukks up the dynamic
you become an outsider at that point

I get u there....it also does make u unstable or seem unstable when u not married or at least have a long term gf...

It definitely can hurt u if u have a career in the private industry or in politics being an unmarried man

 

[Diyhai]

I get u there....it also does make u unstable or seem unstable when u not married or at least have a long term gf...

It definitely can hurt u if u have a career in the private industry or in politics being an unmarried man

imo its makes you seem unstable to most people
people fill in blanks when they don't know about you

 

[UpNext]

Nah it's money. Really if you don't have ~300K in net worth your kids are probably gonna be more of a curse than a blessing in this trash ass country if you don't live in a rural area. And there's no point to marriage if you aren't trying to have a family. You're just gonna hand out a contract for someone to be able to use the government to seize your property for nothing?

 

[The Realist Perspective]

i disagree. standards are a real thing.

Then why can’t these people achieve these standards?

 

[maxamusa]

They may not necessarily be social outcasts OP.

They might just lack testosterone and the ability to be a leader.


Maybe they're just ugly AF and no woman letting them shoot up the club.

could have no balls .....I got a co-worker who spends a couple days a week at a fertility clinic....he going thru it


Either way its their lyfe ....the other side of the coin is people call u crazy for having kids young.....

people just gotta do what works for them

 

[brickfare]

imo its makes you seem unstable to most people
people fill in blanks when they don't know about you

you been spitting this entire thread, my married / parent friends do seem more successful on the career front. and it can get a bit cliquish in the group chats with my contacts that are parents. whatever pressure I felt from my parents to start a family dissipated (as it becomes clear I'll have to act as their caregiver, only child)

it is starting to feel like on the professional side I'm getting looked over for married/paired candidates. that's the only thing that bothers me, getting passed up for opportunities as an unattached black man trying to navigate corporate america.

there's a social/personal cost to remaining unattached, but in my experience, it only seems to be an issue with acquaintances. my closest friends who are attached still do well with including me in their lives. my two friends I consider brothers, it helps that I know their wives fairly well and that I'm a godfather to one of my homie's kids.

basically the people that really matter won't trip or exclude you

 

[Ohene]

Then why can’t these people achieve these standards?

When you’re high caliber it’s harder to find a similar caliber

Also harder to settle for trash. Thats the dilemma of people who are single and have 'made it'