Any brothers on here successfully fought custody and/or child support?

[BXKingPin82]

NOPE!
No child support ever.
Cause my sons mom is grown ass successful woman who holds no malice for me not wanting to move to Long Island!

 

[I AM WE ARE]

They won't reform or even look at child support on any government level. Sad how it's a double standard against men. My Brother got custody of his kids after police found his daughter(4 at the time) out like 3 AM looking for her mother. When he went to court the judge said the mother wasn't financially stable to pay gtfoh

 

[LordDeathwatch]

They won't reform or even look at child support on any government level. Sad how it's a double standard against men. My Brother got custody of his kids after police found his daughter(4 at the time) out like 3 AM looking for her mother. When he went to court the judge said the mother wasn't financially stable to pay gtfoh

Yeah, the system is slanted like that. They took my ex to Court over child support and the judge gave her 2 YEARS to find gainful employment.

How many nikkas YOU know get a whole 2 years to find a job before they start taxing them?

 

[shopthatwrecks]

Got joint custody of 1 of my daughters and son

their moms never been a issue.. n it was mutual..

but my oldest daughter her miserable bytch ass mom .. been holdin a grudge for a minute because I put myself on child support

It was all good til my daughter turned 3 n the broad got pregnant ..I noticed .. n hurry up n put myself on it ...

She no showed court dates n bounced around every ward in Houston to not get served

every 2 yrs we in court to see if she can get payments increased .. n get denied ..

 

[murksiderock]

This talk of custody can get sticky. With joint, would you even be able to take your children half the week? Or half the time (however that looks for y’all)? Those overnights matter in your payment calculation along with the income of both parents, other expenses, etc.

I get child support and my ex and I have legal joint, but I’m the primary physical. We split our time with our son 60/40. On paper I make more so I have to cover Insurance and child care. I’m also in NC.
There’s a lot that goes into your situation, but think about what’s in the best interest of those 2 kids you have financially if that’s all you can do now.

Are you in Wake? Need to know the tendencies and potential loopholes of child support here, I've been told some counties are more favorable---->one of my mans is on child support outta Durham and is only paying like $109/month. However, Wake seems like they hard-core and I'm in for a fight out here if it progresses thru Wake family court...

Long answer:

So the girls' mom says she wants me to have the girls 7 weeks in the summer,, qnd during the school year there be unlimited visitation for me, compared to the every other weekend now. She hasn't put numbers on that, so for me, ideally I'd like to see them one week on/one week off. That one doesn't seem feasible, one because she isnt in agreement with it, two because pretty soon we're gonna be living in different counties---->she is heading to Alamance (Burlington) soon, where she works and where they go to daycare, and eventually I'd still like to move back to Charlotte....

So I can't have them every one to two weeks anyway if we are in two different cities, because they will be in school in one place. Understanding the reality of that, I think my next best thing is to get it in writing that we interchange birthdays, I get all breaks (spring, Christmas, whatever else), and get the majority of holidays. The thing for me is to get to the 123 nights that NC says you need to have shared custody, which will be hard to get her to agree on, but I want to get close to it...

With your 60/40 split, when does your ex see your son? Are yall in the same city?

u better do that shyt thru the court. if ur sending money directly to her, she can always get mad and lawyer up and say you haven't sent shyt. this has happened countless times. get the amount ur need to pay, pay it and keep moving.

Oh for sure, my attorney says the courts have caught up to technology so anything like Venmo, PayPal, CashApp, etc, those things keep a log of when I give her money and are admissible in court. She's a habitual liar but this is one thing she ain't gone be able to lie around...

 

[The God Poster]

Im in Florida and I pay 260/month for 3 kids. Do joint custody breh, knocks that ish right down.

260 total ?

 

[Sandy_Cheeks]

How much in fees is taken out of child support payments by the courts? Do they just direct deposit the money into your bank account. Did you try mediation and going outside the courts first?

We both had an attorney and went through mediation. We also have a court ordered parenting agreement that outlines our Coparenting schedule, how we do holidays, how we make decisions jointly, etc.

Idk about the fees taken out by the courts, but my ex pays them (NC child support folks), and they load the money to a card for me. We don’t exchange money directly so if he doesn’t pay child support, I receive nothing. However, whether he pays or not (he’s been fairly consistent), I still stick to our schedule so he can have time with his son.

 

[Sandy_Cheeks]

Are you in Wake? Need to know the tendencies and potential loopholes of child support here, I've been told some counties are more favorable---->one of my mans is on child support outta Durham and is only paying like $109/month. However, Wake seems like they hard-core and I'm in for a fight out here if it progresses thru Wake family court...

Long answer:

So the girls' mom says she wants me to have the girls 7 weeks in the summer,, qnd during the school year there be unlimited visitation for me, compared to the every other weekend now. She hasn't put numbers on that, so for me, ideally I'd like to see them one week on/one week off. That one doesn't seem feasible, one because she isnt in agreement with it, two because pretty soon we're gonna be living in different counties---->she is heading to Alamance (Burlington) soon, where she works and where they go to daycare, and eventually I'd still like to move back to Charlotte....

So I can't have them every one to two weeks anyway if we are in two different cities, because they will be in school in one place. Understanding the reality of that, I think my next best thing is to get it in writing that we interchange birthdays, I get all breaks (spring, Christmas, whatever else), and get the majority of holidays. The thing for me is to get to the 123 nights that NC says you need to have shared custody, which will be hard to get her to agree on, but I want to get close to it...

With your 60/40 split, when does your ex see your son? Are yall in the same city?

You have to think what’s in the best interest of the children. Getting them on holidays every year may not work if they also want some of that time with mom. If you move away, you will simply have less time with them. Unless you stay close, I don’t see how the time can be shared or split. I think you need to ask yourself what is realistic regarding a schedule that meets the needs of the kids first and parents also. It may take some time to determine that with the mom. It’s hard when kids are little.. the parents really have to work together more.


I’m in Guilford county and so is my ex. Living close to each other makes it easier for both of us. He gets our son 3 nights a week every week. We both do pick ups and drop offs to and from preschool (he’s 4), and meet for dr.appointments, etc.


I can’t help you on trying to find a child support loophole when you already aren’t doing as much as you could... from what it seems.

 

[Yehuda]

That Caribbean breh that got banned did. The one that lived in Georgia.

 

[jackson35]

I'm not on it, however, the girls' mom is now talking about I'm not sending her enough money and gave me a list of expenses. Last week she was talking about how the child support calculator says I should be sending her more---->which it does, but the child support calculator says I should be sending her 60% of my income....

Dead ass. 60 fukking percent....

She's hinted at putting me on and hasnt done it yet, but the possibility exists any day that she could file that action so I'm bracing against it, because even though I'll fight it, my belief is I won't win it. Now, for my part:

I have an attorney on retainer and we discussed custody and support possibilities several times this summer, last was a month ago. I'm waiting to reconvene with him on this as I'm trying to put some money away first. When we spoke we did the calculator yoo and it came to about 60%....

Thus far, I've only been sending 11% of my gross to her, which I calculated thru 5.5% for each child. Yall be real with me, if you had to put a dollar on it, how much would you send for your children?

The impasse between her and I right now is that she's living beyond her means and is saying "I have to do ____ and ____ for the girls all the time", but she doesn't; she's talking about shyt like her rent and car payments and shyt as expenses she has "for the girls", amongst other things...

And ordinarily I'd definitely send her more money but I'm in the hole for these probation fees I have as well, and I don't live beyond my means, so I'm managing my spending and putting up enough money so I can still breathe, and also do something nice for my youngest's birthday in October. I'm not living beyond my means.....I'm more than willing to pay my attorney to fight this, just holding off until I have a little more, and the discouraging part is if I file the action first (which I should and want to), the court still will likely side to something I don't want both based on the maternal tendencies of court and the domestic violence shyt that kicked this off...

The other wrinkle is I also want shared custody, but I wouldn't be eligible until you expiration of the current temporary order on 05/06/2021, to which she was given temporary custody for a year. In North Carolina shared custody basically disqualifies child support for either side, as explained previously by my attorney, as "shared" legally means you share and split all expenses for the children equally since they are virtually equally with both parents. But again, unless she voluntarily submits to shared custody (which she's a no right now), I am under this strict order for the next 8.5 months, so if she filed the action first, she has everything in her favor...

I can elaborate more later on other specifics, this alota typing and I'm watching the game. However, please share if and how you've fought custody and/or support, if it did or didn't work, and tell me how much you feel you should pay for child support voluntarily if you think 11% is too low...

Ladies, feel free to jump in too!

brother just split the bill, whatever the cost is you pay the other half or whatever your child need get it yourself wholesale where it won't break your pockets

 

[murksiderock]

You have to think what’s in the best interest of the children. Getting them on holidays every year may not work if they also want some of that time with mom. If you move away, you will simply have less time with them. Unless you stay close, I don’t see how the time can be shared or split. I think you need to ask yourself what is realistic regarding a schedule that meets the needs of the kids first and parents also. It may take some time to determine that with the mom. It’s hard when kids are little.. the parents really have to work together more.


I’m in Guilford county and so is my ex. Living close to each other makes it easier for both of us. He gets our son 3 nights a week every week. We both do pick ups and drop offs to and from preschool (he’s 4), and meet for dr.appointments, etc.


I can’t help you on trying to find a child support loophole when you already aren’t doing as much as you could... from what it seems.

Well she'll be moving first most likely, its not like I have a say in where she goes. Ideally I'd like us both in the same city because it would enable me to have the one week on setup or the three nights or what have you. She's moving first, so I'm just looking at it from a realistic perspective...

I'm doing everything I can do, if the perspective that I'm not is coming from me giving her 11% of my prior salary the past 4 months, that was a product of my trying to find a number that made sense, since the child support calculator said I should give her 58-60% of my earnings. That didn't make any sense at all, and seeing as I had the information that a)the girls were not even in daycare from late March thru late June, with daycare waiving that fee so I wouldn't owe them for that period; and b)Wake courts for at least some time were/are putting the pause on child support chasing; what i gave her April thru August was more than enough to take care of the children, basically food each month with leftover money....

They are back in daycare now since either last week of June or first week of July (I'm bout to jump in my archives in a minute and find the exact week), and again thats not an expense she can afford with reduced pay and hours, and it isnt one I can afford without stretching like a muhfukka because now I have a bunch of restitution that I didnt have when they were in daycare from March backwards...

I'm looking at the entirety of the situation financially and reasonably. Theres nothing I'm not doing in trying to establish this thing with the girls' mother....

 

[Yaboysix]

260 total ?

yep!! It’s hard for us outchea in the system, but we got some cheat codes For us that’s Breda don’t know about ... and they don’t TELL you about either, you gotta ask about it... it’s crazy. it ain’t the end of the world, I got put up on game by a roadside mechanic who I felt charged me way too much for that damn tire replacement, but the game he gave me was well worth it in the end lol.

 

[murksiderock]

yep!! It’s hard for us outchea in the system, but we got some cheat codes For us that’s Breda don’t know about ... and they don’t TELL you about either, you gotta ask about it... it’s crazy. it ain’t the end of the world, I got put up on game by a roadside mechanic who I felt charged me way too much for that damn tire replacement, but the game he gave me was well worth it in the end lol.

He told you the key was going for joint, right? Having a lawyer, going for joint, and putting them on my own insurance are the major things I'm seeing on here...

 

[Sandy_Cheeks]

Well she'll be moving first most likely, its not like I have a say in where she goes. Ideally I'd like us both in the same city because it would enable me to have the one week on setup or the three nights or what have you. She's moving first, so I'm just looking at it from a realistic perspective...

I'm doing everything I can do, if the perspective that I'm not is coming from me giving her 11% of my prior salary the past 4 months, that was a product of my trying to find a number that made sense, since the child support calculator said I should give her 58-60% of my earnings. That didn't make any sense at all, and seeing as I had the information that a)the girls were not even in daycare from late March thru late June, with daycare waiving that fee so I wouldn't owe them for that period; and b)Wake courts for at least some time were/are putting the pause on child support chasing; what i gave her April thru August was more than enough to take care of the children, basically food each month with leftover money....

They are back in daycare now since either last week of June or first week of July (I'm bout to jump in my archives in a minute and find the exact week), and again thats not an expense she can afford with reduced pay and hours, and it isnt one I can afford without stretching like a muhfukka because now I have a bunch of restitution that I didnt have when they were in daycare from March backwards...

I'm looking at the entirety of the situation financially and reasonably. Theres nothing I'm not doing in trying to establish this thing with the girls' mother....

Well, sounds like all you can do is try your best to co parent as amicably as possible. It sounds like it’s tough for you and mom given the financial situation between y’all (her reduced hours and your other bills). Hopefully y’all can come to some common ground until you get the payment situation resolved. I would suggest, until then.. continue to be as active as you can for your kids and help the mom with whatever extra you can for them. Complete whatever you need to in order to see them more next year. Learn from this whole experience to be a better man and father.

 

[General Mills]

Make sure you double check that calculator for child support. My brother was getting threatened by his ex wife when he said he wanted a divorce. She said she was going to financially ruin him then she gave him a link for a child support calculator.


Whether she was being sneaky or she is just a moron who knows. The calculator she showed him was all fukked up. It had him paying around 60% too but we later found out it was a old and faulty calculator from a different state.

once my brother crunched the numbers with his lawyer he was



At the end he got joint custody. 50/50 with his daughter. He pays for her insurance. That’s it. She actually makes more money so he has nothing to pay.