Any brothers on here successfully fought custody and/or child support?

[desjardins]

I won partial custody but it had zero impact on my child support
I finessed child support increases outside of court and just asked what she wanted and cash app it every month in addition to what the court take
The child support calculator always going be more then what you can negotiate fairly

Also gather up all receipts you have showing you've been giving money to your BM
some states will make you pay for retroactive child support if you don't have proof that you been giving money all this time

 

[Atlrocafella]

I’mma continue to pull out until further notice..

 

[The Radiant One]

I was paying 1800 for one child. The child’s mother went crazy and wanted more it me on child support paying 1323 and get tax return every other year.

Now she gets late payments and no payments during holiday months

 

[murksiderock]

I was paying 700 for 1 kid for 3 years! after I got joint custody and put her on my insurance I only pay 97 a month.

You could argue that you have safety concerns about the daycare since it’s a pandemic and your kids around other kids when they could be with your fam, you could definitely argue that. One thing people don’t understand about those daycares those kids stay sick in there cuz they around other kids and other people. I would argue that. Don’t talk about money in custody courts that’s what child support court is for.

Man I appreciate this, I heard about it the benefit of having your kids on your insurance so I'm definitely insuring them when I can...

What’s the number even in Cali you won’t pay over 50% for a couple of kid’s

Ballpark area of $50k...but I dont think that matters in North Carolina. Basically from what I was told my understanding is, as the noncustodial parent as well as because I earn more than her, I'm going to owe for the expenses the custodial has...

I won partial custody but it had zero impact on my child support
I finessed child support increases outside of court and just asked what she wanted and cash app it every month in addition to what the court take
The child support calculator always going be more then what you can negotiate fairly

Also gather up all receipts you have showing you've been giving money to your BM
some states will make you pay for retroactive child support if you don't have proof that you been giving money all this time

Yeah I'm CashApping her everything so I have a record of it...

 

[BadBoy]

She paying me child support $3000 A month i guess I’m the only gangster nikka here since i knocked up a doctor. It’s all good tho me BBC and my new white lawyer shorty eating good over here oh and she loves my baby like she’s her own

 

[Yaboysix]

Im in Florida and I pay 260/month for 3 kids. Do joint custody breh, knocks that ish right down.

 

[Nigerianwonder]

Yeah I see the 11% is fukked up now, I guess writing it out helped. I can give more so I will...



My oldest daughter is 3 and a half and my youngest will be 2 in October. They've been at this daycare since last September...

I'm all for daycare, my thing is it's an expense we cant afford, and also dont need, considering everything in totality...

She won't touch the thought of no daycare with me because she keeps talking about waiting lists if we want to re-enroll and etc, but I think the part she isnt saying, is she thinks this shyt works in her favor to continue with daycare. She got some breaks though, girls didn't go for about 3 months because of the pandemic, and they've deferred payments when she took a pay cut (I was pieced this info as per the temporary order I can't go to the kids school)...

As far as family, yes, we have the framework to where we can mix and match people to watch the girls and adjust our schedules accordingly. Is that ideal, no, I don't trust anyone with my children when they aren't with me the way I trust myself, and I prefer daycare, but it isn't financially feasible for either of us right now and we have the privilege of relying on others at a much cheaper rate...

Another reason she won't budge on this is she's refusing to give me more time with the girls, which, per the order we can come to an agreement anytime before May on custody and get it modified, or else it just expires in May. We haven't reached an agreement because she likes this order to the extent it benefits her, yet is complaining about the restrictions its given her...



Oh hell yeah, when I pay these fees off and take this anger class, I can cut my time in half, so it would be 12 months of probation instead of 24. The way I got it mapped out I'll have all this shyt paid by mid-February and maybe sooner, but the classes have been halted since March and they don't know when they will resume. Its a 6-month program, my PO said she heard them saying they'll resume in February, so by the time February comes and I get in that would be an August termination, shortening my probation from 24 to 14 months. But PO said she gotta double check that....

Backstory on this case: https://www.thecoli.com/threads/lets-have-a-conversation-about-domestic-violence.792038/



Nah, I love my daughters too much...



I know her and I know she's a liar so I'm expecting this from her. For me, I don't currently have much of another stream of income but when I get it rolling again I don't plan on sharing that at all...

Take back control of your life breh. Get a better lawyer and put yourself on child support before she does. Cause if she does you will owe back child support to day your kids were born and they don't care what you been giving her monthly voluntarily before then unless you gave her checks and wrote child support payment for month xyz on it every month. They will say cash and any other funds were gifts and you will start CS owing thousands.

You should have joint custody and the kids on your insurance already. Aim for at least a 40 percent time sharing custody agreement. Necessary daycare can also be included in your payment calculations in many instances. There is cap on the percentage of your income they can take but you shouldn't be anywhere near 60% if you follow the steps above.

 

[Yagirlcheatinonus]

Another thing that’s messed up is, did you know child support is reported on your credit? So don’t ever get behind because it can mess up your future, which I don’t think is fair. Some guys really fall behind cause they lost their job their credit shouldn’t be affected. It’s like they try to destroy men with child support.

 

[Umoja]

the child support calculator says I should be sending her more

When we spoke we did the calculator yoo and it came to about 60%....

Thus far, I've only been sending 11% of my gross to her, which I calculated thru 5.5% for each child.

I'd definitely send her more money but I'm in the hole for these probation fees

the domestic violence shyt that kicked this off

You are an idiot.

 

[thaKEAF]

 

[Mordith]

You're going to end up getting hit with tens of thousands in back child support when she takes you to court.

 

[Yagirlcheatinonus]

You're going to end up getting hit with tens of thousands in back child support when she takes you to court.

Yo you been in court before when they doing roll call? They be throwing football type numbers one dude was 80 grand in the rears. How he going to pay that? Then they cancel your passport, drivers license, put warrants out on you.

 

[GzUp]

Idk if this helps but my friend was paying a lot and he got a lawyer and now pays very little, what I took from it is always have a lawyer.

 

[LordDeathwatch]

@murksiderock I've said this years ago but yeah, I have full primary custody of both my daughters, my only children. Don't let people tell you that you can't get it done but it's not easy by any means.

Reading your OP, our situations are totally different though. I had a lawyer on retainer before I even signed my name on a lease, I could see where shyt was going to go. By the time I moved in my new place, I had them both registered for school, doctors appointments scheduled, separate bedrooms setup, etc.

That's where planning & the lawyer come in crucial; they let you know what to have lined up & when before a motion is ever filed. Each state is different so I can't tell you what your blueprint should look like but I can advise you that if at all possible, get a female lawyer. When I tell you she was ruthless AF

There were points when I was willing to ease up on the terms, trying to keep shyt cordial for the kids sake and she was like

"We're going to bury this bytch."

I was

But I listened and she was right.

 

[murksiderock]

You're going to end up getting hit with tens of thousands in back child support when she takes you to court.

According to my attorney, back child support could be forgiven in my case because of the pandemic---->said he doesn't know that for a fact, but that he had heard they were not shytting on dudes for a few months due to the pabdemic...

So I could have that in my favor. She and I broke up in late March (before then I lived with my kids and did everything). I gave her a few hundred April thru August so even if they hit me on that, they'd take that into account and it would be subtracted...

I'm not completely out on this shyt!

@murksiderock I've said this years ago but yeah, I have full primary custody of both my daughters, my only children. Don't let people tell you that you can't get it done but it's not easy by any means.

Reading your OP, our situations are totally different though. I had a lawyer on retainer before I even signed my name on a lease, I could see where shyt was going to go. By the time I moved in my new place, I had them both registered for school, doctors appointments scheduled, separate bedrooms setup, etc.

That's where planning & the lawyer come in crucial; they let you know what to have lined up & when before a motion is ever filed. Each state is different so I can't tell you what your blueprint should look like but I can advise you that if at all possible, get a female lawyer. When I tell you she was ruthless AF

There were points when I was willing to ease up on the terms, trying to keep shyt cordial for the kids sake and she was like

"We're going to bury this bytch."

I was

But I listened and she was right.

I appreciate it, this is encouraging!

So as I stated earlier, I think my crimimal history will keep me from getting primary custody unless she goes to jail or turns into an addict or deadbeat---->don't see that happening and can't bank on it anyway. But I was told they'd just glance over my criminal file alone and determine i cant be the primary, which is fukked up but whatever...

So my goal is to shoot for shared...

Man its so hard shopping for lawyers. I have a white dude as my attorney, granted I found an office that handled both criminal and civil cases and overall they were good. The few black attorneys I found didn't have great reviews, and this civil/family guy is the only guy they have who does civil shyt...

I'd love to have a woman attorney but its hard shopping out here!