Any brothers on here successfully fought custody and/or child support?
- Thread starter murksiderock
- Start date
Yagirlcheatinonus
Icon Poster
First thing document everything with your kids mother. If not judge will look at it as he said she said. Then hire a lawyer a lawyer will help you with your presentation. After you’re awarded partial, joint, or full custody then go back and modify the child support. Custody and child support are done in two different hearings.
murksiderock
Superstar
Damn another one about my first kids' mother 
...
I appreciate this board for allowing me the outlet to let off shyt on my mind. Which, incidentally, the biggest struggle of my life tends to be the mothers of NY children. I don't struggle professionally. I don't struggle financially and if I'm ever in a brief struggle I know how to hustle my way out of it. I don’t have any real issues with my family. My kids are healthy. I have nice material things. I have a strong sense if self and who I am, the missions I'm on, a solid moral compass and confidence within who I am...
I don't struggle attracting women, we've all faced rejection as men but generally speaking I have my way in terms to whether I want a woman or not. These are all areas of life many of you posters have identified as points if struggle or trouble spots...
With me, many of you are stronger at this than I am. But I struggle in these relationships and the full encapsulation of the responsibility and dynamics of them. I'm not ashamed to admit that, I ain't no more perfect than anyone else and this is a habitual sore spot in my life. It's gotten better with each relationship, both the relationship in general and who I am in these relationships, so I've put in the work to grow and improve...
But they are still areas of struggle for me and can't nobody shame me on something I'm willfully acknowledging, maybe by sharing some of my stories it helps other brothers on here!
Just an update to my OP from August 2020:
Been on child support with the first baby mama since this past September. I initiated the child support action in November 2021, it just took until September 2022 to complete the shyt. And I fukk with it, it was contentious at court, homegirl tried to rape more money from me----->the calculator got down to like $700 and the judge asked her "do you agree with this amount and what do you think a fair amount is"?
This broad said "I don't agree, I think it should be higher", gave a bunch of bullshyt reasons, I has to interject a couple times. Our judge by the way, was a black woman, and she fukking flamed me in court. I mean went at me, and it was an open court, we were the third case of the day in a courtroom full of people waiting to go before the judge. The first two cases before me, both guys got spazzed on by her too...
Ultimately I got the judge to agree on $500/month, which was a win...
Since then, what I'm currently dealing with from homegirl is her asking for money, periodically, outside the $500. Like currently, she started a new job at higher wages so she's in danger of losing her EBT and daycare vouchers, and they've increased the daycare rate by more than double. So she's asking me to help her on that...
We had a convo last week on this and I reminded her that when I was giving her money long before court mandated support, she was breaking my pockets, lying on what she needed it for, the money I gave helped buy her new car (and probably helped pay her bills too), and she still didn't want to work on a reasonable amount for support with me. She was convinced she was gonna get more at court and I always fluctuated between 5 and $600 a month to her, she swore she'd get more than that and it backfired on her...
Legally I don't owe her a dime and the child support comes automatically from each check. So legally I'm good, and while we were going thru the child support motions, my CS officer, a black woman, told me not to give anything outside of the verdict because she understands how women try to game both the system abd the kids father...
Of course homegirl fired back at me in that convo last week on some, morally I still have an obligation to make sure the girls can get in daycare. I agree, but she gone have to carry the brunt of the summer childcare fees abd increased daycare, and especially if they take the vouchers period. She shoulda saved some of that money I gave her in years prior. And personally, it's HER income that's gone up dramatically with her new bank job, not mine. So all these reasons, I'll help and give what I'm comfortable with but she need to carry that weight, chick not gonna spend tears basically robbing me and then want my assistance because she's on the precipice if making too high an income to qualify for state assistance...
Plus she got engaged in January so that man's income is about to be added with hers at some point, don't ask me to carry shyt that you can afford just because you on some sneak shyt. She's always acted like I'm dumb though like a brother don't realize this shyt she on...
On the custody front, I get the girls the first three weekends, which is dope. I also get to pick them up from school on average 1-2 times a week, they spend a weeknight with me here and there. We don't have a court custody order but she's done well letting me see the girls...
For any other brothers who could go through it, just always provide financial assistance up until the court date. Never stop, they'll hold the shyt against you. And always have your receipts and ducks in a row, it may not matter a ton but you'll at least be arguing for yourself in good faith!
...I appreciate this board for allowing me the outlet to let off shyt on my mind. Which, incidentally, the biggest struggle of my life tends to be the mothers of NY children. I don't struggle professionally. I don't struggle financially and if I'm ever in a brief struggle I know how to hustle my way out of it. I don’t have any real issues with my family. My kids are healthy. I have nice material things. I have a strong sense if self and who I am, the missions I'm on, a solid moral compass and confidence within who I am...
I don't struggle attracting women, we've all faced rejection as men but generally speaking I have my way in terms to whether I want a woman or not. These are all areas of life many of you posters have identified as points if struggle or trouble spots...
With me, many of you are stronger at this than I am. But I struggle in these relationships and the full encapsulation of the responsibility and dynamics of them. I'm not ashamed to admit that, I ain't no more perfect than anyone else and this is a habitual sore spot in my life. It's gotten better with each relationship, both the relationship in general and who I am in these relationships, so I've put in the work to grow and improve...
But they are still areas of struggle for me and can't nobody shame me on something I'm willfully acknowledging, maybe by sharing some of my stories it helps other brothers on here!
Just an update to my OP from August 2020:
Been on child support with the first baby mama since this past September. I initiated the child support action in November 2021, it just took until September 2022 to complete the shyt. And I fukk with it, it was contentious at court, homegirl tried to rape more money from me----->the calculator got down to like $700 and the judge asked her "do you agree with this amount and what do you think a fair amount is"?
This broad said "I don't agree, I think it should be higher", gave a bunch of bullshyt reasons, I has to interject a couple times. Our judge by the way, was a black woman, and she fukking flamed me in court. I mean went at me, and it was an open court, we were the third case of the day in a courtroom full of people waiting to go before the judge. The first two cases before me, both guys got spazzed on by her too...
Ultimately I got the judge to agree on $500/month, which was a win...
Since then, what I'm currently dealing with from homegirl is her asking for money, periodically, outside the $500. Like currently, she started a new job at higher wages so she's in danger of losing her EBT and daycare vouchers, and they've increased the daycare rate by more than double. So she's asking me to help her on that...
We had a convo last week on this and I reminded her that when I was giving her money long before court mandated support, she was breaking my pockets, lying on what she needed it for, the money I gave helped buy her new car (and probably helped pay her bills too), and she still didn't want to work on a reasonable amount for support with me. She was convinced she was gonna get more at court and I always fluctuated between 5 and $600 a month to her, she swore she'd get more than that and it backfired on her...
Legally I don't owe her a dime and the child support comes automatically from each check. So legally I'm good, and while we were going thru the child support motions, my CS officer, a black woman, told me not to give anything outside of the verdict because she understands how women try to game both the system abd the kids father...
Of course homegirl fired back at me in that convo last week on some, morally I still have an obligation to make sure the girls can get in daycare. I agree, but she gone have to carry the brunt of the summer childcare fees abd increased daycare, and especially if they take the vouchers period. She shoulda saved some of that money I gave her in years prior. And personally, it's HER income that's gone up dramatically with her new bank job, not mine. So all these reasons, I'll help and give what I'm comfortable with but she need to carry that weight, chick not gonna spend tears basically robbing me and then want my assistance because she's on the precipice if making too high an income to qualify for state assistance...
Plus she got engaged in January so that man's income is about to be added with hers at some point, don't ask me to carry shyt that you can afford just because you on some sneak shyt. She's always acted like I'm dumb though like a brother don't realize this shyt she on...
On the custody front, I get the girls the first three weekends, which is dope. I also get to pick them up from school on average 1-2 times a week, they spend a weeknight with me here and there. We don't have a court custody order but she's done well letting me see the girls...
For any other brothers who could go through it, just always provide financial assistance up until the court date. Never stop, they'll hold the shyt against you. And always have your receipts and ducks in a row, it may not matter a ton but you'll at least be arguing for yourself in good faith!
Happy to there things working out OP...I got a guy who's a real scumbag...dude got stupid bread tax free....goes to family court dressed up mad dusty(he always fresh AF 2 heavy jewelry n all that) and shyt with a sob story every time giving his BMs crumbs he's got some fake job on paper where he's just on a payroll..... he's a foul MF 
I feel sorry for his kids I check him but he dont care
I feel sorry for his kids I check him but he dont care
Damn another one about my first kids' mother
I appreciate this board for allowing me the outlet to let off shyt on my mind. Which, incidentally, the biggest struggle of my life tends to be the mothers of NY children. I don't struggle professionally. I don't struggle financially and if I'm ever in a brief struggle I know how to hustle my way out of it. I don’t have any real issues with my family. My kids are healthy. I have nice material things. I have a strong sense if self and who I am, the missions I'm on, a solid moral compass and confidence within who I am...
I don't struggle attracting women, we've all faced rejection as men but generally speaking I have my way in terms to whether I want a woman or not. These are all areas of life many of you posters have identified as points if struggle or trouble spots...
With me, many of you are stronger at this than I am. But I struggle in these relationships and the full encapsulation of the responsibility and dynamics of them. I'm not ashamed to admit that, I ain't no more perfect than anyone else and this is a habitual sore spot in my life. It's gotten better with each relationship, both the relationship in general and who I am in these relationships, so I've put in the work to grow and improve...
But they are still areas of struggle for me and can't nobody shame me on something I'm willfully acknowledging, maybe by sharing some of my stories it helps other brothers on here!
Just an update to my OP from August 2020:
Been on child support with the first baby mama since this past September. I initiated the child support action in November 2021, it just took until September 2022 to complete the shyt. And I fukk with it, it was contentious at court, homegirl tried to rape more money from me----->the calculator got down to like $700 and the judge asked her "do you agree with this amount and what do you think a fair amount is"?
This broad said "I don't agree, I think it should be higher", gave a bunch of bullshyt reasons, I has to interject a couple times. Our judge by the way, was a black woman, and she fukking flamed me in court. I mean went at me, and it was an open court, we were the third case of the day in a courtroom full of people waiting to go before the judge. The first two cases before me, both guys got spazzed on by her too...
Ultimately I got the judge to agree on $500/month, which was a win...
Since then, what I'm currently dealing with from homegirl is her asking for money, periodically, outside the $500. Like currently, she started a new job at higher wages so she's in danger of losing her EBT and daycare vouchers, and they've increased the daycare rate by more than double. So she's asking me to help her on that...
We had a convo last week on this and I reminded her that when I was giving her money long before court mandated support, she was breaking my pockets, lying on what she needed it for, the money I gave helped buy her new car (and probably helped pay her bills too), and she still didn't want to work on a reasonable amount for support with me. She was convinced she was gonna get more at court and I always fluctuated between 5 and $600 a month to her, she swore she'd get more than that and it backfired on her...
Legally I don't owe her a dime and the child support comes automatically from each check. So legally I'm good, and while we were going thru the child support motions, my CS officer, a black woman, told me not to give anything outside of the verdict because she understands how women try to game both the system abd the kids father...
Of course homegirl fired back at me in that convo last week on some, morally I still have an obligation to make sure the girls can get in daycare. I agree, but she gone have to carry the brunt of the summer childcare fees abd increased daycare, and especially if they take the vouchers period. She shoulda saved some of that money I gave her in years prior. And personally, it's HER income that's gone up dramatically with her new bank job, not mine. So all these reasons, I'll help and give what I'm comfortable with but she need to carry that weight, chick not gonna spend tears basically robbing me and then want my assistance because she's on the precipice if making too high an income to qualify for state assistance...
Plus she got engaged in January so that man's income is about to be added with hers at some point, don't ask me to carry shyt that you can afford just because you on some sneak shyt. She's always acted like I'm dumb though like a brother don't realize this shyt she on...
On the custody front, I get the girls the first three weekends, which is dope. I also get to pick them up from school on average 1-2 times a week, they spend a weeknight with me here and there. We don't have a court custody order but she's done well letting me see the girls...
For any other brothers who could go through it, just always provide financial assistance up until the court date. Never stop, they'll hold the shyt against you. And always have your receipts and ducks in a row, it may not matter a ton but you'll at least be arguing for yourself in good faith!
Looks like you’re on the good side of the fence now. Salute.
murksiderock
Superstar
Happy to there things working out OP...I got a guy who's a real scumbag...dude got stupid bread tax free....goes to family court dressed up mad dusty(he always fresh AF 2 heavy jewelry n all that) and shyt with a sob story every time giving his BMs crumbs he's got some fake job on paper where he's just on a payroll..... he's a foul MF
I feel sorry for his kids I check him but he dont care
I have an old homeboy, haven't spoken to him in over 2 years now, but at last count he had 4 kids in 3 different states, he also has money. But he doesn't give to his kids mothers, and when he had court also was on some "I'm broke" shyt, said he worked at Pizza Hut or some shyt
...I don't agree with his shyt either and that's part of the reasons he and I grew apart. I get it but you can be a better father than that!
Yeah this situation got easier, child support you just really gotta keep your ducks in a row and know how to talk with these muhfukkas. This chick locked herself into $500 and she'd have to get us back into court to get more money, our kids are young and my income has increased each of the past several years. She's already had a pay increase plus she's getting married and if she put us back in court that would be part of the evidence too...
She fukked herself. I'm going to make more money in years to come and she trapped herself at $500. And that $500 gives me the flexibility as I climb the ladder, that I can have more expendable income with my girls on my own time!
I think ultimately when you do things in good faith and treat people and situations right things go in your favor! The Creator/Universe looks out...
ReturnOfJudah
Veteran
I wouldn't call this sucess