Admit simp crimes you've committed

[Real]

I let a homegirl of mine stay with me for a month. Rent free.

didn't even hit

 

[MAKAVELI25]

So many L's in this thread. I can't recall ever giving a female a gift/card/roses that wasn't my Moms. I only got a couple of things to offer deez hoes

 

[General Mills]

But yeah, honestly I'm not going to lie. When I was younger I was a hopeless romantic (simp) I use to write poems to girls I liked in middle school ( ACTUAL POEMS bruhs, not know "roses are red" shhit) and all of that. My father both schooled me on the game as well as let me experience for myself what it was like. He always tells me now that he use to HATE to think of the day I'd get my heart broken and become cynical towards women because I was always such a caring boy. But he explained to me then and now, that women aren't really looking for "feelings" as opposed to "security". Women want a man who is sure of themselves, confident, and willing to live without them. Women NEED to know that they are expendable in any given relationship. If your woman is your everything and she KNOWS this from the jump, then she has the advantage. Which means she has license to do any and everything she wants, including disrespect you, talk down to you, fukk over you,etc.

"A woman looks at a man the way a man looks at money" My Father always taught me. "A man will spend his entire life chasing dollars because Dollars equal a better life, a better car, a better house. But when they get enough of it then it becomes disposable, they lose respect for it, for what it took to accumulate it." This is why you see Floyd Mayweather burning $100 dollar bills at the club. Why you see T-Pain rocking a chain that says nothing but "BIG ASS CHAIN" in diamonds. Why you see Jay-Z and Kanye West tearing up $200,000 plus luxury cars in videos. What it took to gain that wealth has been trivialized, it's in abundance and therefore it has become disposable.

Women are the same way. A woman will spend half her time searching for the "right man" a man who respects her, loves her, listens to her, is attentive, romantic, etc. A man who truly loves her and supports her equal a better life, better house, a better car. But when that man is truly and unconditionally open to her and they get enough of it, then he becomes disposable, she loses respect for him, for what it took emotionally to forge that connection and openness. The "mystery" of him is no more. This is why you see women who constantly chase after "thug *****s". This is why you hear about wives fukking thier husbands friends, associates, coworkers. This is why you have music videos with Rhianna glorifying unstable relationships full of arguing, drug use, and insecurity. Talking about falling in love in a "hopeless place", because in that "hopeless place" is the thrill of the unknown. What it takes to have a man who can provide security, comfort, open displays of affection, and love has been trivialized, it is in abundance and therefore has become disposable.


Even as a married man I still, and forever will, see my wife as a woman first. I'm as open with her as I've been with any woman however, she knows that she is NOT irreplaceable. I will dump her just as quickly as I would have before we were married and have made this quite clear. Before we were married I broe up with her before and just cold turkey stopped talking to her. She knows that as a man I've been taught and raised that I need NO woman to define my life or make me fulfilled. If she disrespects me its a wrap. If we're having a conversation or argument and she begins to speak to me in a manner unbecoming of my status as a MAN, I calmly ask her " Who the Fukk do you think your talking too?" Not like I'm Ike Turner, but like a MAN who will not be talked down too. As a RULE I make it a principle to not talk down to my wife, I treat her as an adult and a grown woman, and she WILL do the same at all times. I've told her, as well as any other woman I've dated that this is NOT a request, it is a DEMAND. My father taught me that when it comes to women never EXPECT respect. DEMAND it. I give it to her and she will give it to me.
A lot of men let puccyy dictate how they treat women, they'll put up with certain things in order to make sure they are still smashing that Ass at the end of the night. I get this, but as my father taught me, " She wants it just as much as you do." this is key. If I need to allow a woman to run roughshod over me just to get some sex then something is WRONG in this equation. If I stand my ground on an issue and it equals no sex, then that woman is probably giving up the goods on the side anyways.


I'd love to go back to the fairy tale of my youth, where girls were exotic, heavenly creatures to be admired and romanced. Where beng inspired to write a poem about a female was a thrilling gesture.Where I could dream about getting a girl to love me based upon the virtue of my character. Sadly, that world does NOT exist, and honestly it never did. The "Game" is the same as its been since the beginning of time. My father, when I was a kid, use to always watch cartoons and animated movies with us. One time we were watching Bambi, and he pointed to a scene in which grown up Bambi sees the female doe and falls in love. He's dancing around the forest all "twitterpated" and in awe of this beautiful creature. Suddenly another male aggressively shows up and begins to make off with the female. Bambi, at first confused, tries to lead off with the female, but the aggressive male buck comes between them. The female doe begins to walk off with the aggressive male buck until Bambi, coming to understanding with the way the world and nature truly is, becomes enraged and engages the Male Buck in combat. It is a thrillingly violent sequence (for a childrens movie) that ends with Bambi triumphantly subduing his adversary, his prize the right to mate and have children with the female doe. My father would watch this sequence, tell me to pay attention "Because this is a lesson I'd learn later in life" and say "that's it!" at the end of the sequence.

The point is that the female doe didn't give two flying fukks how much Bambi was in "love" with her. How much he was frolicking at the sight of her. She was perfectly happy to go mate with the aggressive male buck until Bambi wised up and fought for his right to mate. His right to sire children. His right to call himself a Buck. It was the AGRESSIVENESS that got Bambi the woman, his unwillingness to be disrespected, his DEMAND for proper loyalty. NOT his emotions.


THIS is the way of relationships. A man must never allow his emotions for a woman to be the end all and be all of the relationship. For if it is, he will NOT have his woman for long, she'll be off smashing the next male Buck.

It took me a lil time to re-find this gem. . .This is pure piff. All true and I wish I knew this at a younger age. Would have saved me alot of heartache, money, and time. Bravo my dude. I am saving this.

 

[Eastside Get The Money]

Ex guilted me into getting an apartment with her after only a year of dating
In my defense I literally had a week to find somewhere to stay (we sold the house, moms went across the country, and my campus housing scholarship for 2 years was up) so I had to make moves.
I had to bring my Dad as a cosigner and he gave me the the whole time
It all worked out for the year we lived together and the next 2 after that but damn that was a dumbass decision

 

[Ziggiy]

Ex guilted me into getting an apartment with her after only a year of dating
In my defense I literally had a week to find somewhere to stay (we sold the house, moms went across the country, and my campus housing scholarship for 2 years was up) so I had to make moves.
I had to bring my Dad as a cosigner and he gave me the the whole time
It all worked out for the year we lived together and the next 2 after that but damn that was a dumbass decision

That really doesn't sound like a simp crime bruh. More of a survival tactic

 

[Denzel_Saucegton]

I used to write poems and letters to but never had the balls to give them the girls.

I feel for you breh...I wrote plenty of letters to females from middle schoool to high...would have thought a nikka was shakespeare with that ish....stealing lyrics from r&b songs as well.Took countless L's and they would see me back in school like

 

[Denzel_Saucegton]

try a year and and 8 month of paying a chick's phone bill. put her on my plan on a contract for 2 years. this was after i did it for a year with a different chick who also had the phone in my name.

when i was a teen i let a chick borrow my parents car without them knowing for a whole day.

i took a bytch over her boyfriend's house to fukk and picked her up after he hit it then threw her out.

i gave one chick the first month's rent and security deposit for an apartment and she backed out of the apartment took the money order and cashed it and started blowing the money she promised to give me $300 of it back stood me up and went to a club instead. this was the same chick i bought the car for and at that club they broke into the car with her purse and laptop in the trunk and stole that shyt and the rest of the money. the next day i bought her a replacement laptop cause she would have failed her online school without one and couldn't afford another one.

i let a chick move in with me for over 6 months free of charge. in that whole span she didn't contribute a damn thing to the household.

i bought a chick a pair of Jordans for a just because gift less than two months after meeting her.

if this is the lifetime simpolympics i'm at least getting the bronze. my highlight reel is unreal.

In the name of the king of all kings....I rebuke that simp demon in your life....HEAVENLY FATHER let him know the devil is a LIE!!

 

[Pool_Shark]

I feel for you breh...I wrote plenty of letters to females from middle schoool to high...would have thought a nikka was shakespeare with that ish....stealing lyrics from r&b songs as well.Took countless L's and they would see me back in school like

I was simping at a young age. I started in second grade saying shyt like "ok today I'm gonna tell her I like her" meanwhile other boys were throwing rocks at em and couldn't get the girls off their nuts.

 

[Denzel_Saucegton]

*stands up to give my simp hall of fame speech* ahem...
1. had a break-up with the " golden girl" of my life and was going to a party with my nikkas to see some bytches...got dressed up good and was ready to get my groove on that night. Get to the location holla at my nikka like whatsup...chilling in my car for a bit while on my phone. (right before halloween) I just happen to get on facebook to post a status about the night when I see her friend with a status *had fun at the haunted house with *ex-gf*(according to her) and some guy's name. I'm like who this fukk is that nikka...that's strange...goes to the page for a peep and.......I see her posted up for a selfie with that nikka! . Ruined my whole damn night so I hit my nikka up like I'm not feeling it tonight man...(right outside of the party in my car). nikka was having a panic attack I couldn't breathe and I was doing an 100 in a 40...didnt give a fukk. I texted her like "who is that nikka" "you fukking him" and got no reply...I was heated I could have killed something or someone. Days go by and I get a text and she saying she coming to see me...I'm like . Confidence beyond the stars nikka.... She comes up to my job like ...I'm like and I go on lunch with her in my car. I go scoop up my lunch and get back to her like what's happenin? she was like "is there anything I would do that would make you hate me or not talk to me ever again" *heart sinks through a$$hole* I'm like hmmm? "If you tried to kill me". "stop playing be serious"-her. ok...ok ok......"if you fukked someone else or got pregnant"...I'm in the whip laughing.....*she gets quiet and looks away and tears*...... Almost wanted to kick her out of my whip right then and there but acted cool and ate my lunch and acted like everything was all good. nikka cried for many nights (ether still lit inside of me)

 

[Ronnie Lott]

I let a homegirl of mine stay with me for a month. Rent free.

didn't even hit

 

[Real]

I know

She won't cute or anything. But i still should have just hit on principle

 

[kevm3]

This is absolute truth. I'm here in Killeen right now.

Wackest city I ever lived in. What is there to do.

Man the only thing to do is go out to eat or to the gym. If you can get out soon, I'd recommend that. I'm planning to leave near this year's end.

 

[thegreatwb]

One of my many simp crimes happened when met this chick again, whom I haven't since high school. When I when I saw her again, my simping crimes began. We started talking about the days in high school, and I asked her was she single, and she said she had a daughter and her baby daddy was on and off. When told me that, I asked for her number anyway, knowing I would probably get my heart broken in the end.

My simping highlights:
-Was calling her everyday and asking for a relationship, even though her and the baby daddy was on and off.
-Was viciously texting her at least 30 times a day, seven days a week, saying I love you, and will treat you better than that no good man.
-Use to listen to her problems about how her man was mistreating.
-Buying her salads almost everyday from this doughnut shop after class.
-Took her out to dinner at this Chinese restaurant my dad works at.
-Bought her $100 vacuum cleaner for her birthday.
-Use to do her homework for her, even though she paid me.
-Took her out to Shoneys and took her to the movies afterwards to see The Final Destination. And I paid for everything like the simp I am.
-Wrote her a letter explaining how I will be a good man to her and her daughter.
-Use to wash car for her.
- Repeated the same process for three years and still did not get a relationship or the nookie.

I finally opened my eyes and told her to go hell and find her another sucker to tease. Every since then, I have never let a woman make a fool out of me, because I can smell their bullshyt from a mile away. Especially these females with kids.

Reading this actually makes me feel better about some of the simp crimes that I've committed.

 

[Ronnie Lott]

I know

She won't cute or anything. But i still should have just hit on principle

You live and you learn I guess

 

[Nobuo Uematsu]

Never really told nobody this story before.

Freshman year of college, I had a little job making nickels and dimes, and I had managed to save up about 3k for a car so that I could get back and forth to school. While riding the bus I met this baaaaad little hoodrat. Homegirl was shaped like all of the bad decisions that I was bound to make were going to be worth it. I got her number and we talked on the phone for a few weeks, heavy breathing and all of that. I had the little nerd thing going for me, and eventually I got the all clear to catch the bus out to her house, and I did.

Get out there and we eat hot wings (my treat) and watch movies. I try to slide in and she's acting all shy (despite claiming to be in a gang and having stabbed other chicks and all that), so I settle for a little tongue kiss and some fondling and then she makes some lame excuse about her mom coming home, so my chubby and I leave.

The talking on the phone continues and every so often I visit, but I still can't even get a dry handjob. Looking back, she was a master manipulator. I was about 19, and she was 3 years older than me so she knew how to run me around--Flash a little nipple here, let me squeeze on her ass there, stuff like that. She decides that she wants to go to hair school, which is right near my university so I'm waking up two hours before I gotta be up, catching the bus out to her house, meeting her at the bus stop, all kinds of terrible shyt. One day, she casually mentions that she needs money to pay for her first semester of hair school so that she can get out of her mom's house. The bill...?

about 3 thousand, almost equal to my car savings.

So I break her off the 3k, she gets in hair school and it's all good...until about two weeks later when I go to the hair school to give her some flowers I bought and she's up in there with some dude and she's letting him kiss on her neck. I'm devastated as fukk and i throw the roses at her booth and storm out. She calls me the next day on some "this thing wasn't never gonna work out anyway, you're too nice" type noise.

Suffice to say, my folks were PISSED when I told them what happened. Pops was like "Nikka, I can't believe you" and he was extremely pissed because he had told me beforehand that he had an odd feeling about ol' girl.

That was the last BIG L that I took off a woman. I saw her once after I graduated from college, when I drove by her at a bus stop and she hailed me and asked me to give her a ride to the same hair school that she had been going to when we were talking. She had a couple of kids and was looking real , and I was gonna give her some pity help but then I remembered that big azz hole in my pocket from earlier simp activities and I just drove off on her. Lil dumb ass nikka, I was.