Admit simp crimes you've committed

[Stuntone]

Let me living this thread up with some PICTURES!!!

I haven't done any serious simping in a while. At least when I was simping, I was broke. Now that I have some money, I rarely get women asking for anything. Up until last week. 2 young chicks on the same day.


Simp proposal #1

This chick (22) I met at my old job. Everyone wants to fukk her, I pulled her first and have been smashing for over a year. She's cool, loves to smoke, DC hood chicks, kinda quiet. No car, I always picks her up and pay for our food. She's a little hustler, dudes all over her on IG and she told me she stripped for a few weeks. She calls me and asks me to buy her a plane ticket from FL to DC, she'll pay me back when she gets here. I tell her she can pay cash at the airport. She says she wont get the expedia discount. I'm like GTFOH!!! Stay in FL than. I'm sure some dude flew her down and they got into it.









This chick is like 20 from Florida. Big nose, but her body is banging. She always asks for money in a scary way. Never does she say how much, just give me something. Never gave her shyt. Paid for IHOP once. She calls me telling me she wanted to chill before she goes out of town. I'm like cool. I'm off Tuesday. She's like cool, she'll come thru. 3 mins after we get off the phone, she texts me about her license are suspended and her car is in impound. I'm like I just paid my mortgage and car note

 

[mamba]

Never paid a woman's bills.
Never paid to have a woman's car fixed.
Never bought shyt for a woman I wasn't actively dating.

Most simpish shyt I've probably done is write a few recommendation letters for a chick. But, she returned the favor by writing some for me!

 

[mamba]

I let a homegirl of mine stay with me for a month. Rent free.

didn't even hit

 

[The D-List Vet]

Breh, you don't upgrade a chick by buying her shyt. You upgrade her by upgrading her mind. My ex randomly called me last week saying her meeting me was the greatest thing that's ever happened to her and no man will compare to me. Every chick I've dated have told me those exact words.

If you wanna upgrade her, teach her how to think and how to act. Once you do that, you'll start to see even the tone in which she talks about you to other people will change.

 

[EffedUp]

I could've sworn I responded to this before.

Anyways, the only true time I simped was back in 8th grade over this Cambodian girl (my first real crush). I (and every other nikka) had a crush on her. I remember growing up and she was rather plain and quiet. Her big sister (who was 2 yrs. older) went to the school for 7th & 8th grades and was a total opposite. Big sis was skinny yet cute, talkative, dressed nice, hair done, etc. It seems that after she left, lil sis took on that role. All of a sudden, the girl is acting the same way with one big difference (or should I say two big differences ).
This silly shyt for me started on Valentine's Day when I did one of those candygrams for her saying I liked her. She was flattered which pulled my sucker ass in. Next thing I know, I'm using up christmas money/allowance and buying all kinds of candy for her. I'm even buying candy period for all the girls. One time, I paid for her to get her hair done. She even had a "boyfriend" but my simping ass didn't care. The shyt came to an end on the last day of school at a class trip to Kings Island. I was gonna tell her I loved her and whatnot but had lost track of her in the park.
She ended up repeating the 8th grade so I only saw her once that next year. First day of school for 10th grade, she's riding the same bus looking as good as before and I start fearing I'ma fall into that trap again. Luckily the next day, she came in looking a mess (haircut, ugly outfit, etc.) which pretty much killed any remaining feelings I had for her.

 

[Jesus]

Most I ever spend was like $40 on a meal.

Told the last the bytches I loved them was the most simp thing after they broke up with me.

 

[Eastside Get The Money]

I might be simping this weekend brehs

Met this girl in Pittsburgh 2 weeks ago, really hit it off, she showed me around the city and the club spots and all that. Went out together 3 out of the 4 nights I was there. I didn't hit yet, took her to the room on the 3rd night and my co-worker hated on me and made her leave

She's coming here Thursday, only problem is I live with my sister and I got a little side piece in the next building who stays spying, and I don't wanna mess that up.

So I'm thinking about buying a hotel for 3 days, so we can be alone and be downtown already. Simp move or nah?

 

[NOSaintsFan02]

I just bought my girl a round trip plane ticket (we currently doing long distance) as a graduation gift to come spend Memorial Day weekend with me. Am I a simp brehs? It's my girl

 

[PhonZhi]

I could've sworn I responded to this before.

Anyways, the only true time I simped was back in 8th grade over this Cambodian girl (my first real crush). I (and every other nikka) had a crush on her. I remember growing up and she was rather plain and quiet. Her big sister (who was 2 yrs. older) went to the school for 7th & 8th grades and was a total opposite. Big sis was skinny yet cute, talkative, dressed nice, hair done, etc. It seems that after she left, lil sis took on that role. All of a sudden, the girl is acting the same way with one big difference (or should I say two big differences ).
This silly shyt for me started on Valentine's Day when I did one of those candygrams for her saying I liked her. She was flattered which pulled my sucker ass in. Next thing I know, I'm using up christmas money/allowance and buying all kinds of candy for her. I'm even buying candy period for all the girls. One time, I paid for her to get her hair done. She even had a "boyfriend" but my simping ass didn't care. The shyt came to an end on the last day of school at a class trip to Kings Island. I was gonna tell her I loved her and whatnot but had lost track of her in the park.
She ended up repeating the 8th grade so I only saw her once that next year. First day of school for 10th grade, she's riding the same bus looking as good as before and I start fearing I'ma fall into that trap again. Luckily the next day, she came in looking a mess (haircut, ugly outfit, etc.) which pretty much killed any remaining feelings I had for her.

you prob did. I originally made this thread on Soooooo. Thread title was even word for word. Somebody decided to make the same thread here. @KEEPITTRILLA

 

[KEEPITTRILLA]

ya this was a remake of a classic sohh thread, someone said they got a chick a macbook and didnt even hit as referenced in the first post

 

[havoc]

Never really told nobody this story before.

Freshman year of college, I had a little job making nickels and dimes, and I had managed to save up about 3k for a car so that I could get back and forth to school. While riding the bus I met this baaaaad little hoodrat. Homegirl was shaped like all of the bad decisions that I was bound to make were going to be worth it. I got her number and we talked on the phone for a few weeks, heavy breathing and all of that. I had the little nerd thing going for me, and eventually I got the all clear to catch the bus out to her house, and I did.9 8

Get out there and we eat hot wings (my treat) and watch movies. I try to slide in and she's acting all shy (despite claiming to be in a gang and having stabbed other chicks and all that), so I settle for a little tongue kiss and some fondling and then she makes some lame excuse about her mom coming home, so my chubby and I leave.

The talking on the phone continues and every so often I visit, but I still can't even get a dry handjob. Looking back, she was a master manipulator. I was about 19, and she was 3 years older than me so she knew how to run me around--Flash a little nipple here, let me squeeze on her ass there, stuff like that. She decides that she wants to go to hair school, which is right near my university so I'm waking up two hours before I gotta be up, catching the bus out to her house, meeting her at the bus stop, all kinds of terrible shyt. One day, she casually mentions that she needs money to pay for her first semester of hair school so that she can get out of her mom's house. The bill...?

about 3 thousand, almost equal to my car savings.

So I break her off the 3k, she gets in hair school and it's all good...until about two weeks later when I go to the hair school to give her some flowers I bought and she's up in there with some dude and she's letting him kiss on her neck. I'm devastated as fukk and i throw the roses at her booth and storm out. She calls me the next day on some "this thing wasn't never gonna work out anyway, you're too nice" type noise.

Suffice to say, my folks were PISSED when I told them what happened. Pops was like "Nikka, I can't believe you" and he was extremely pissed because he had told me beforehand that he had an odd feeling about ol' girl.

That was the last BIG L that I took off a woman. I saw her once after I graduated from college, when I drove by her at a bus stop and she hailed me and asked me to give her a ride to the same hair school that she had been going to when we were talking. She had a couple of kids and was looking real , and I was gonna give her some pity help but then I remembered that big azz hole in my pocket from earlier simp activities and I just drove off on her. Lil dumb ass nikka, I was.

OMG!!

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

I'm only halfway through the first page in this thread, and I'm feeling literal pain from secondhand simpery...

and don't misunderstand.... I'm not crying cause of y'alls situations...

I'm crying because it's embarrassing to see how much of a simp some of y'all is...




But don't worry, I was one too back in the day, brehs...


I will train my future son so that hopefully, he will never bring this kind of shame to my family name.

 

[Strapped]

too many to mention

 

[Primetime21]

my big bytch i jus met..

jus broke her off a 5 stacks...today...storm came thru dallas this mornin..n she destroyed the front end of her fx35

flew her down today..so she can pick up my truck..so she can have transpo to work..until hers is fixed

while my main bytch..is out of town for fathers day n a family reunion

 

[s3ven_LvLs]

Never really told nobody this story before.

Freshman year of college, I had a little job making nickels and dimes, and I had managed to save up about 3k for a car so that I could get back and forth to school. While riding the bus I met this baaaaad little hoodrat. Homegirl was shaped like all of the bad decisions that I was bound to make were going to be worth it. I got her number and we talked on the phone for a few weeks, heavy breathing and all of that. I had the little nerd thing going for me, and eventually I got the all clear to catch the bus out to her house, and I did.

Get out there and we eat hot wings (my treat) and watch movies. I try to slide in and she's acting all shy (despite claiming to be in a gang and having stabbed other chicks and all that), so I settle for a little tongue kiss and some fondling and then she makes some lame excuse about her mom coming home, so my chubby and I leave.

The talking on the phone continues and every so often I visit, but I still can't even get a dry handjob. Looking back, she was a master manipulator. I was about 19, and she was 3 years older than me so she knew how to run me around--Flash a little nipple here, let me squeeze on her ass there, stuff like that. She decides that she wants to go to hair school, which is right near my university so I'm waking up two hours before I gotta be up, catching the bus out to her house, meeting her at the bus stop, all kinds of terrible shyt. One day, she casually mentions that she needs money to pay for her first semester of hair school so that she can get out of her mom's house. The bill...?

about 3 thousand, almost equal to my car savings.

So I break her off the 3k, she gets in hair school and it's all good...until about two weeks later when I go to the hair school to give her some flowers I bought and she's up in there with some dude and she's letting him kiss on her neck. I'm devastated as fukk and i throw the roses at her booth and storm out. She calls me the next day on some "this thing wasn't never gonna work out anyway, you're too nice" type noise.

Suffice to say, my folks were PISSED when I told them what happened. Pops was like "Nikka, I can't believe you" and he was extremely pissed because he had told me beforehand that he had an odd feeling about ol' girl.

That was the last BIG L that I took off a woman. I saw her once after I graduated from college, when I drove by her at a bus stop and she hailed me and asked me to give her a ride to the same hair school that she had been going to when we were talking. She had a couple of kids and was looking real , and I was gonna give her some pity help but then I remembered that big azz hole in my pocket from earlier simp activities and I just drove off on her. Lil dumb ass nikka, I was.

I can't believe you disrespected yourself like that. Hope you learned your lesson.