40+ Successful professional black women are getting in vitro to be "single mothers by choice"

[GoAggieGo.]

This is why some ladies will have to marry out. A lot of us only get the memo when we’re older. If the girls in “diverse” areas or PWIs get the memo they can date whoever is around that is a good fit, and the young ladies who have access to a greater network of upwardly mobile young brehs can focus on dating brehs only, if they choose.

I agree with this. Both men and women need to get in where they fit in. If as a woman, you find love from a white man, then that’s ok. As a man, if you find love from a white woman, then that’s ok.

This ain’t it, though. Bringing children into disadvantageous situations ain’t it.

 

[GilSho]

No, it's the same thing: no father for the kid.

It might even be worse since they are paying for it.

No, the black community is a complete disaster and the damage is irreparable at this point. The dating market is tragic for both genders but even moreso for BW. Especially successful BW.

Rather than dating down and being told "should've chose better" once shyt inevitably goes awry, these women are taking an alternative approach.

If you're statistically likely to end up a single mother anyway like many BW might as well do it without a scumbag being the baby daddy.

Definitelt not ideal but better than what we've been used to for the past 40 odd years.

 

[GoAggieGo.]

exactly. i may be mistaken but i think you have posted on here about your kid before. and they are "ok" right? now imagine you didn't have as much resources (which is the majority of americans that you talked about in "the statistics").... it may not be "ok"

i think my child is ok, but I don’t truly know because I am not her. It would be arrogant on my behalf to say she’s ok for certain. There also has been nights where she has begged me to “stay with mommy”

While my child’s mother and I are working things out, and there’s a strong possibility we get back together, I can easily admit that the way we went about things wasn’t optimal and it wasn’t ok. I also see my daughter every single day, as I take her to school. She stays with me 3 nights out the week, and me, her mother, and I take trips together and still do things together (hence why we are trying to work things out) I just took them to Orlando last month.

 

[Paradoxx]

Nothing about a culture or order. Quit talking to talk.

You do understand that access to better education and living conditions are foundations to building a strong and stable culture, right?

Due to your lack of comprehension, you didn’t think of that at all.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

Perspective miss, by the time black men are 44, they've lived about half their life, to be 40+ and be a father is expected.

Your talking about middle aged men, I'm talking all black men.

Using your statement, that's like saying by the time black men are 70 years plus nearly 90% are grandfathers c'mon miss.

But this is actually statistically normal for most men in all races. Majority of men do not become fathers until mid-to late 30s.
Partially b/c it takes years for them to establish their careers to be able to support a family and in this economy it’s even harder to attain markers of stability that signal to women they are ready to start a family: stable career, home ownership, ect. And to be honest, that’s not necessarily their faults IMO.

In fact the Family Institute conducted a study and concluded that the economy and men living with parents and men delaying marriage were the primary indicators behind the rise of male sexlessness in this county.

When I say blame white supremacy, I’m not just being tongue in cheek. We have an economy that is unsustainable, sells men the American dream but denies them pathways to attain it. Women may want families and marriage in their youth, but they are struggling economically to get themselves established as well. And that goes well into our 30s in a community where generational wealth has been stolen.

So if the men aren’t ready in their 20s, and the women have biological clocks and are struggling themselves, you get older established men, having babies by younger women. And stats show that age gaps are associated with martial instability. So that’s a dead end too.

Many of the issues we blaming each other for are economic in nature if I’m being honest.

 

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

i think my child is ok, but I don’t truly know because I am not her. It would be arrogant on my behalf to say she’s ok for certain. There also has been nights where she has begged me to “stay with mommy”

While my child’s mother and I are working things out, and there’s a strong possibility we get back together, I can easily admit that the way we went about things wasn’t optimal and it wasn’t ok. I also see my daughter every single day, as I take her to school. She stays with me 3 nights out the week, and me, her mother, and I take trips together and still do things together (hence why we are trying to work things out) I just took them to Orlando last month.

again, context. of course even people with means have issues to but compared to a kid born to a single parent or parents that lived in squalor, can't concentrate at school due to lack of food, etc. it sounds like your kid is ok in comparison even though she has single parents lol. and then there are some kids born to married couples that also have issues.
i was kinda glad when i look back at my parents getting divorced. it would have been even more traumatic to have them putting up with each other just to say they aren't single parents. they get along now though, lol some people just aren't meant to stay together but the kids end up ok

 

[GoAggieGo.]

again, context. of course even people with means have issues to but compared to a kid born to a single parent or parents that lived in squalor, can't concentrate at school due to lack of food, etc. it sounds like your kid is ok in comparison even though she has single parents lol

And in your arrogance, you missed the fact where I said my kid begs for me to be with her mama. You don’t know if she’s ok or not, just like I don’t.

See, you more than likely assumed I was going to try and justify my situation when in fact, I don’t. Both her mama and I were selfish, and were trying to make due the best we can. It would be much better for my seed if we we’re together, as that’s what she clearly wants. It’s the reason we’re also assessing “our” situation.

 

[number21]

You do understand that access to better education and living conditions are foundations to building a strong and stable culture, right?

Due to your lack of comprehension, you didn’t think of that at all.

More like you don't understand what culture means and the things that need to be done to build one. You're just saying things that sound good without understanding the work and the framework needed to get to those points.

For example, a culture, where the man is the head, the woman lives to serve and support the man, and the two come together to guide the children is stressed and prioritized will play a role accomplish those flowery things you were mentioning.

 

[RareHunter]

I gave you countless examples of mudslinging and how black women have NEVER been beyond reproach. I’m not saying that religion can’t play a mitigating factor in the issues of our community, but faith without works will always be dead and we have to do some really hard emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual work to get ourselves out of these issues. But that’s going to take both black men AND black women taking honest inventory of their flaws instead of pretending they are better than each other or blaming one another.

I don’t even know why that’s such a revolutionary point to make. Black men and black women are flawed. Somehow somebody put this idea into both groups heads that either group is better and I don’t know where this came from.

Forget acting like people are the prize. It’s just people arguing over who gets to be king or queen of crumbling shytpile we call America.

Yes. We have to somehow get over the pain we’ve caused each other. I suppose discussing both genders rather than singling one out would be more affective. White supremacy is at the root but that’s because they know we are the chosen ppl. That’s why they make us feel bad about our hair, place roadblocks at every turn so we can’t succeed, and keep us living in sin, by perverting our art and paying top dollar to put race mixing propaganda in tv/commercials/movies/cartoons.

 

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

And in your arrogance, you missed the fact where I said my kid begs for me to be with her mama. You don’t know if she’s ok or not, just like I don’t.

See, you more than likely assumed I was going to try and justify my situation when in fact, I don’t. Both her mama and I were selfish, and were trying to make due the best we can. It would be much better for my seed if we we’re together, as that’s what she clearly wants. It’s the reason we’re also assessing “our” situation.

i think we are on two different points.
check my edit though i said even people with means can have issues, even kids with two married parents have traumas. my whole point in this is addressing the OP scenario where a parent has MEANS. OP made scenarios where there is no father from the beginning other than a sperm donor lol. you are thinking of your own situation of a child torn between two parents (in your arrogance and perhaps guilty conscious ) instead of the facts that are presented where it's just one from the jump. if that's all a kid knows and they are well taken care of i think they'll be ok similar to an orphan kid, nobody would say "oh you don't have a husband, the kid is better off in state cutsody" lol

 

[High Art]

I'm not surprised. Some women cannot live with anyone, so I can see them skipping out on a man, successful or not, and just getting a kid. The problem is that those women will bring that dysfunction to their kids and lead to problem for everyone.

 

[GoAggieGo.]

i think we are on two different points.
check my edit though i said even people with means can have issues, even kids with two married parents have traumas. my whole point in this is addressing the OP scenario where a parent has MEANS. OP made scenarios where there is no father from the beginning other than a sperm donor lol. you are thinking of your own situation (in your arrogance and perhaps guilty conscious ) instead of the facts that are presented

Ok.

I’m thinking of my own situation and speaking on it, because you brought up my situation. Do you even know what you’re typing now? You need to be right that bad?

 

[Reality]

It’s not a solution. It’s reality.
The solution would be to eliminate white supremacy. But you see how you skipped right over the very real numbers disparity DIRECTLY linked to white supremacy to jump to trying to keep a foot on black women’s necks.

As I’ve said b4 black woken have MANY issues. But even if they were perfect there’s STILL only 88 men for every 100 black women. And that is by design.

So the solution could start with black men stopping their blame game to black women and redirecting that energy towards white supremacy that takes them out of the community and makes it hard for them to be protectors and providers.
But that type of energy is dismissed as bashing black men, while we focus on trying to reform Jezebels or convince Brittany Renner to lower her standards for incels.

MAP: Why Black Women Outnumber Black Men in the Bay Area and Beyond | KQED

For every 100 black women living in the Bay Area, there are only 88 black men, according to a KQED Lowdown analysis.

www.kqed.org

Where Have All the Black Men Gone?

There's a gender imbalance in many African-American neighborhoods. Mass incarceration is largely to blame.

www.governing.com

https://www.southerndigest.com/culture/article_306ac4c6-dfd7-11e9-928c-f3ec25dfe75c.html

“97 percent of African-Americans live in states in which prime-age black men are outnumbered by black women. By this metric, the problem seems pervasive.”

I didn’t make this stat up. If we want practical solutions, take the emotion out of the conversation and the Bible thumping and the blame game and let’s start there.It might be hard to confront but it’s necessary.

I hear you breh, but you're not going to get people to ignore what they see with their own eyes. I need more fingers than I have to count the number of black women I know personally who were middle/upper middle class, had good dudes pursuing them, and then decided to have kids with bums and/or street dudes. shyt's an epidemic.

Black women don't take motherhood as seriously as they need to. Obviously it takes two to tango, but a lot of them are having that tango with an even smaller subset of men than they need to by the numbers. Passing on genes of some of the worst among us.

 

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

Ok.

I’m thinking of my own situation and speaking on it, because you brought up my situation. Do you even know what you’re typing now? You need to be right that bad?

i was bringing up your situation because i see you talking about the RESOURCES you provide for your kid that make them better off than a poor kid even though you are a single parent
this whole topic is about women with MONEY having kids lol

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

Eliminate "White Supremacy" and replace it with what? What kind of culture and order you got in mind?

Sheeeiiiit you want the dissertation or the short answer.
Dude, we’d have to FIRST dismantle all the lies told to us about humanity and blacks in general from a historical perspective because the myths and lies about gender roles given to us from dysfunctional Western perspectives just messed up our community.
RESEARCH:
Next, we need more black researchers. There’s soooooooooo many lies and statistics being produced about black men and women that we absorb. Lies about our neighborhoods, health disparities, stds. I wish I’d taken better notes in my inferential and descriptive stats classes. When you see professional statisticians breaking down numbers and how they are presented to the media in a skewed and misrepresented way.Nearly everything we think we know about our community is a carefully crafted lie of negativity meant to make whites look right and blacks look wrong.

FINANCIAL LITERACY:

People think I blame men a lot but it’s more complex than that. Mostly all of the issues we have in our community and be linked back to crony capitalism against the backdrop of white supremacy. We already start with a handicap due to YEARS of redlining and generational wealth stolen. So we have to start establishing strong ties to financial literacy and responsibility in our community.
EDUCATION:
There’s a reason why parents have gone to jail over getting their kids in the best schools. Education is one of the primary indicators of wealth in this country. But our educational resources have been gutted.
Then add school-to-prison pipelines, high incarceration rates and horrible quality schools where young blk kids outpace white peers in literacy at young ages but are 3 years behind by the 3rd grade.
We have to fight for better schools. We literally pay into a system that pays us dust. If parents have to teach their children after paying for it, we might as well just home school them and stop paying taxes altogether.

BOYCOTT SOCIAL MEDIA
I don’t do Twitter anymore. It’s too toxic and false. I’m barely on any social media platform. Blacks need to let them go and go back to the brick and mortar, feet on the ground type of action. Form support and mentor groups. Get outside and back to our earthly roots.

ADDRESS MENTAL HEALTH
A lot of the issues you see in our community have to do with deep trauma we experience from being black and growing up in a white society with less resources, opportunities, and stability. It creates complexes, pathology, desires to escape, frustration, self-hate, internalized racism against ourselves and image and a culture of associating anything negative with blackness. We need therapy, self-care, and proper stress management other than eating 1500 calories in one sitting or fukkin hoes, or spending money we don’t have, or hating anything black. Until we address that, we can’t create a positive culture.