40+ Successful professional black women are getting in vitro to be "single mothers by choice"

[maxamusa]

That shyt is not cool at all....These kids are going to be raised by nannys anyway but still....

 

[KidJSoul]

Interesting thread, I have personal experience with this. Met a chic off a dating site as well, a nurse, and was surprised to learn during a meet n greet that she chose IVF and is a single mother. For her, yes, age was a factor as is almost in all cases and she desperately wanted to be a 'mom'. So many questions I had but you are correct. For her, it was the status guy of her dreams or single mom thru IVF. Now, here's s the sucky part. She works 12h shifts, bought (overpaid for) a home during the pandemic (made a lot of pandemic $$$$) and has a luxury car. That translates into her working some 60h weeks. The kid, 6yr old girl, spends virtually all her time/life w/the at home babysitter. Even when mom is home sometimes, she's super exhausted and has the sitter comes thru for like half a day.
On another note, she really didnt have much going on in her life. All she could ever really talked about was her job, almost endlessly. I couldnt give less of a F. She's Latina.

This makes me sad. Geez.

And this is the big conundrum

Because she could get a man that's a stay at home dad.. but that won't happen because:

A) very few men will want to be stay at home dads (and can you blame us? We have to chase careers to have any value)

B) not many women are interested in marrying a stay home man - many will still look down on them.

This is actually where the conversation should have gone.

 

[Apollo Creed]

y'all dead and in hell and dont even realize it

 

[GoAggieGo.]

Men love sex, women love intimacy, and children will continue to be born regardless of their parents circumstances. This has always been the case.

So, it’s f*ck the children, huh? I’m going to do what makes me happy and that’s that! Essentially, both black men and black women are on some, I’m going to do what I want to do or “I said what I said” shyt



If that’s the feeling; keep it consistent

 

[Originalman]

Lets be real. This shyt has manly increased cause men and women don't view marriage in a positive light. What happens is folks (specifically women because they have a short period where they can make and have children) wait around talking about how they want to stay single and enjoy their life thinking they got time.

And what do you know before they know it they are in their 40s and never had kids. This is not some black women thing this is an American and white Western World thing (materialism has replaced family). You can go to any IVF clinic in America and see tons of non black women. shyt look at all the white women in Europe who have IVF at older ages and who are single.

Now everyone who does IVF isn't some single woman. Some are gay women, some are older women who have remarried and trying to have a child with their new husband. Some are older couples who may have had 1 child and struggled to have another so they went to IVF.

At the end of the day the last few generations of males and females have looked at having children and marriage as something they can put off as long as they can and then suddenly its too late unless you are lucky for enough that medical science can help in terms of children. It ain't cause women don't want to be with men and all that shyt. Cause they still laid up with dudes playing house with they silly asses sharing bills but ain't got no protection of the law like a married woman does when it comes to her husbands assets.

Young folks have just supplemented having kids for material items. But finding out in their 40s (and 50s for men) that the material shyt can't substitute for kids and family.

Also I want to say poor diet, weight issues and waiting longer (into late 30s and 40s) are causing a lot of conception issues with women.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

This is why some ladies will have to marry out. A lot of us only get the memo when we’re older. If the girls in “diverse” areas or PWIs get the memo they can date whoever is around that is a good fit, and the young ladies who have access to a greater network of upwardly mobile young brehs can focus on dating brehs only, if they choose.

Seee this is where I have to pump brakes and get called a pickme.
Because I could say “sure these Black women gotta date out”.

But….

BUT… what if the men are garbage regardless of race and even worse than those in our own community?

And what if those black women are just as broken as the black men they claim to be better than, so the odds are that they are going to attract the SAME dysfunctional mofo in another race as the types they got with in their own race?

And what if they end up footing the bill for a non-blk man or being left a single mother b/c some other men in other cultures already intrinsically don’t value black people, thus wouldn’t value a black partner?

A lot of PAWGers and Zaddymongers will find common ground in hating me when I say IR dating won’t fix this. It’s just blacks shipping their trauma to other cultures and getting play like guitar heroes by non-blks who are aware of the insecurities we deal with.
If the world would just stop fukkin with our community, it could thrive. We actually have healthier foundations for relationships than a lotta other cultures do. They just have better PR and more numbers.

 

[RareHunter]

Since when? It’s been open season on black women since forever.

Spoiler: Examples

Dudes been blaming black women for accepting welfare and putting out black men since the 60s, even tho countless studies have disproven that.
Dudes have also leaned into hip hop culture where they were taught that black women are hoodrats, scallywags, rachet hoes, aint loyal, hairhats, aint poppin, or Pimp culture where they are bottom bytches to be treated like hoes or manipulated. I won’t even get into colorism.
Or conservative politics where black women are lambasted as welfare queens by Reagan.
Then the 2000s hit with waves of manosphere shyt where dudes hid behind screens like Srgt Willie Pete to spew shyt about black women. Comedians making careers off caricaturing black women claiming dark women could take beatings.
All kinds of shyt. Since when have the black, fat, lonely, hairhat, pit Bull, bottom bytches, dark butt, welfare queens, Shea butter, bedwench, rachet, hood rat, ghetto, her hair don’t look better coming out the pool, can’t compete with non-blk women, single mom, using food stamps for lobster and steak—and countless other brands for black women—in light of all the criticism that has ALWAYS been put onto black women ever equated to them being above reproach.

But like I said before, once all the emotion and mudslinging dust settles, we still got 88 black men for every 100 black women. So even if all these trifling horrible, terrible, no good, very bad, evil jezebels were the perfect submissives you wanted…(and even then they still wouldn’t be good enough for some black men b/c some black men just don’t want black women, just like their self-hating black female counterparts don’t want black men), nearly a quarter would still be without mates b:c while we were hyper focusing on beating black women into submission, we curiously forgot to address responsibility, self-pride, work ethic, integrity, sexual responsibility, temperance, resilience, into the millions of terrible, horrible, no good, very bad black men who are equally yoked in dysfunction with their women and are getting killed or incarcerated or dying early due to the shytty white supremacist system we live in.

Lol you can keep tiptoeing all you want but the black community is toxic and wicked and needs to turn back to The Most High (The real one, not fake white Christianity who condones eating pork). No worldly solutions will work and has never worked and will lead to destruction.
That said it seems I’m being harsh to women, but I’ve been harsh to men in other threads. In this case, the thread is about women. To be honest the black community is already beyond saving without the help of The Most High and that’s the facts. We’re already playing right into the mixed agenda on both sides which is one step before the final one.

 

[dr. pill biden]

Okay.

It's not just about "feeling they can do bad by themselves".

For some? Yes.

For others? They probably tried, but some of the guys they were with had serious flaws.

And they realized they are 40 - they don't have much time left.

i understand being empathetic about it but it doesn’t change the fact that if you can’t find a man then feeling entitled to have children just because your clock is ticking is a poor decision that will have ramifications for years that these women are not thinking through at all

 

[Paradoxx]

Eliminate "White Supremacy" and replace it with what? What kind of culture and order you got in mind?

One where black men and black boys aren’t highly incarcerated and shot unarmed by police officers for just minded their own buiness.

One where black people have better and more stable living conditions and access to high quality education.

One where black women don’t die giving birth in the hospital due to stupid ass racist doctors that don’t believe their pain and worries.

Just a couple ideas

If you wanna stay being white people sympathetic pet, by all means

 

[Fill Collins]

Women been self-inflicting L's since the beginning of time

Seems like Black women do so disproportionately more based off of what I see here everyday

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

Lol you can keep tiptoeing all you want but the black community is toxic and wicked and needs to turn back to The Most High (The real one, not fake white Christianity who condones eating pork). No worldly solutions will work and has never worked and will lead to destruction.
That said it seems I’m being harsh to women, but I’ve been harsh to men in other threads. In this case, the thread is about women. To be honest the black community is already beyond saving without the help of The Most High and that’s the facts. We’re already playing right into the mixed agenda on both sides which is one step before the final one.

I gave you countless examples of mudslinging and how black women have NEVER been beyond reproach. I’m not saying that religion can’t play a mitigating factor in the issues of our community, but faith without works will always be dead and we have to do some really hard emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual work to get ourselves out of these issues. But that’s going to take both black men AND black women taking honest inventory of their flaws instead of pretending they are better than each other or blaming one another.

 

[number21]

One where black men and black boys aren’t highly incarcerated and shot unarmed by police officers for just minded their own buiness.

One where black people have better and more stable living conditions and access to high quality education.

One where black women don’t die giving birth in the hospital due to stupid ass racist doctors that don’t believe their pain and worries.

Just a couple ideas

If you wanna stay being white people sympathetic pet, by all means

Nothing about a culture or order. Quit talking to talk.

 

[god shamgod]

I don’t give af how times have changed anybody who uses dating apps corny af to me

It’s something about meeting a woman in person that is different ,you can tell when she feeling you.apps can’t give you that.

 

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

lol ok.

exactly. i may be mistaken but i think you have posted on here about your kid before. and they are "ok" right? now imagine you didn't have as much resources (which is the majority of americans that you talked about in "the statistics").... it may not be "ok"

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

But a lot of guys don't actually improve themselves

My point is that some of these women - which really aren't even that much in number if we're being honest - arent all the Naomi Campbell types. Some of them have been disappointed by some guys. Some guys don't really level up like you said. And if you're a woman who's gonna be 40 years old and time is winding down, but well off enough financially... then

Obviously some are flawed and/or have bad taste in men. My point is that the same way we talk about many women are unwifeable nowadays... is the same way some men are

I don’t even know why that’s such a revolutionary point to make. Black men and black women are equally flawed. Somehow somebody put this idea into both groups heads that either group is better and I don’t know where this came from.

Forget acting like people are the prize. It’s just people arguing over who gets to be king or queen of crumbling shytpile we call America.