40+ Successful professional black women are getting in vitro to be "single mothers by choice"

[timeless]

successful women date average men too. Sometimes below average. I think it's an issue of trust. Those women don't have faith in their men to be providers, but their natural instinct still yearns for motherhood. It's dysfunctional for sure lol, but dysfunction always stems from somewhere.

 

[ultraflexed]

By the time black men are 44, nearly 80% are fathers.

Perspective miss, by the time black men are 44, they've lived about half their life, to be 40+ and be a father is expected.

Your talking about middle aged men, I'm talking all black men.

Using your statement, that's like saying by the time black men are 70 years plus nearly 90% are grandfathers c'mon miss.

 

[GoAggieGo.]

successful women date average men too. Sometimes below average. I think it's an issue of trust. Those women don't have faith in their men to be providers, but their natural instinct still yearns for motherhood. It's dysfunctional for sure lol, but dysfunction always stems from somewhere.

well, if there’s not a single man out here that you feel you can trust, then you don’t need to have kids. If a man is out here, and feels he can’t trust a woman and wants to be gmb, then he don’t need kids either.

 

[ThrobbingHood]

What you dorks who trot out this "natural order" stuff always ignore is that a lot of men aren't doing their parts either.

There's men put here that are abusive, immature, not leaders, don't earn enough money, not willing to help in the house if their wife works as much or more hours than him, etc.

If you want a "natural order", then men need to do their part. Otherwise, some women ain't gonna bother. It's that simple

And no, I don't think women are perfect.

My point is that men aren't perfect either. And it takes two to tango

Wow, I learned something new today. Society = women only.

Listen “dork”, nowhere did I say it’s womens fault only and nor did I imply there ain’t shyt nikkas. But ultimately, women decide whether to have/keep a baby or not.

I used Naomi Campbell as an example because she is the most famous living black woman. She’s attractive, has dated billionaires and can’t hold down a man. So either one of the most eligible women for decades has bad luck or maybe, she’s just insufferable!

Just like a lot of these professional women are. I work with them and just listening to alot of them for 10 minutes makes me homicidal. What man wants to put up with that?

Are there shytty men? Absolutely. Are there shytty women? Absolutely. The problem is, the latter want to put a Band aid on their problems rather than work it out internally. A man can’t pull a decent woman? He works on himself, his goals, finances (excluding incels). Woman can’t attract decent men?

“Oh I don’t get enough attention? BBL. I can’t hold down a man, let me just go through IVF.” It’s pure vanity. Most of them just want a mini-me. They truly don’t understand the hardships of single parenthood. If they did, THEY WOULD NEVER WILLINGLY put themselves through it.

It’s one thing for the father to leave. To actively not want a father in a child’s life is mental illness. You can’t tell me otherwise. Selfish and vanity driven. If it wasn’t, they’d adopt.

When “society” promotes hot girl summer and degeneracy in our culture, it’s no wonder so many grow up and think having a mother and father as parents is somehow antiquated.

 

[RareHunter]

It’s not a solution. It’s reality.
The solution would be to eliminate white supremacy. But you see how you skipped right over the very real numbers disparity DIRECTLY linked to white supremacy to jump to trying to keep a foot on black women’s necks.

As I’ve said b4 black woken have MANY issues. But even if they were perfect there’s STILL only 88 men for every 100 black women. And that is by design.

So the solution could start with black men stopping their blame game to black women and redirecting that energy towards white supremacy that takes them out of the community and makes it hard for them to be protectors and providers.
But that type of energy is dismissed as bashing black men, while we focus on trying to reform Jezebels or convince Brittany Renner to lower her standards for incels.

MAP: Why Black Women Outnumber Black Men in the Bay Area and Beyond | KQED

For every 100 black women living in the Bay Area, there are only 88 black men, according to a KQED Lowdown analysis.

www.kqed.org

Where Have All the Black Men Gone?

There's a gender imbalance in many African-American neighborhoods. Mass incarceration is largely to blame.

www.governing.com

https://www.southerndigest.com/culture/article_306ac4c6-dfd7-11e9-928c-f3ec25dfe75c.html

“97 percent of African-Americans live in states in which prime-age black men are outnumbered by black women. By this metric, the problem seems pervasive.”

I didn’t make this stat up. If we want practical solutions, take the emotion out of the conversation and the Bible thumping and the blame game and let’s start there.It might be hard to confront but it’s necessary.

White supremacy is a given. The issue is yall are beyond reproach at this point. Black women reward men who do behavior that gets them taken out of the community more than any other man. Also black women originally agreed to marry the state. Black men can’t change without the women being willing to change. No one cares about Britney Renner‘s standards or incels.

Britney Renner is old already and a single mother, she should get with the man she had a baby by or help the next generation of young women in good faith. U keep using incels as an excuse for toxic behavior in our community. You’re blaming ppl that don’t even factor in the equation, and didn’t even mention thgs/rappers/gang bangers which just shows what were actually dealing with here. Wow

 

[tater]

They want children and don't want to build their life around some weekend warrior dad. I don't know why most of y'all care so much. Half the comments are hoW WiLl tHEy fIND a MAn? They clearly don't want one. That's kind of the point...

 

[beenz]

Anyone else noticing this trend lately? is this the endgame? Over the past few months I have met so many black women who either already got the In vitro fertilization or are in the process of getting it to willingly become single mothers. They all fit the same archetype. Successful black women, career oriented, wanting a top teir man, single and over 40 years old. It's insane to me that these women would rather become single mothers from a sperm bank than date and marry an average breh but this is where we are.

I met a 42 year old chick off a dating app a few weeks ago with a 1 year old and when I asked about the father she told be she voluntarily got in vitro cause she wanted to be mother. I just couldn't take her seriously anymore. Even after they become single mothers they still think they can get a top tier breh. Are these women that delusional? Why would you willingly lower your value on the dating market?

Here is an article on it I found
Changing the Narrative Around Black Single Motherhood - Seattle Sperm Bank

I can't fukk with women in their late 30's or early 40's who have little ass kids. I'm talking about kids too young to stay home alone for a couple hours.

also, I cannot remember the last time I met a single mother where the father was involved. my kids live in a whole other state, and I talk to them all the time and have them visit for most of the vacations and I go down there. I don't know what kinda nikkas these women are letting impregnate them

 

[GoAggieGo.]

So, are single parent households optimal or ok for children? I mean, we have data that says otherwise, but based on this, are we saying it’s now ok?

 

[timeless]

well, if there’s not a single man out here that you feel you can trust, then you don’t need to have kids. If a man is out here, and feels he can’t trust a woman and wants to be gmb, then he don’t need kids either.

Men love sex, women love intimacy, and children will continue to be born regardless of their parents circumstances. This has always been the case.

 

[timeless]

So, are single parent households optimal or ok for children? I mean, we have data that says otherwise, but based on this, are we saying it’s now ok?

It's not ideal, but it's okay. It's always been okay actually.

 

[RareHunter]

Strictly by the numbers, it’s b/c there isn’t a 1:1 ratio of men to women in our community. And that is by design.

If you notice, I mentioned white supremacy and incarceration rates as being the largest factors to blame for this.
When men in your community can get tossed into prison at insane rates for smoking and selling something that is literally being decriminalized across the country, or when homicide is the largest mortality factor for men in your race, it takes millions out and leaves millions of women without viable partners. This isn’t black men OR black women’s fault.

But Some try to get into value judgements to deflect from the truth and blame each other.
“Oh black women are overweight.” Welp black men are overweight as well and lead in mortality rates for nearly all health disparities.
“Black women only want thugs” And some blacks men are just as delusional and only want to save strippers, hood rats, trifling chicks, or switch it up and only put non-blk chicks on a pedestal.
“Black women in debt.” Black men are also in debt and struggling economically.
“Some Black women are gay.” And some black men are gay as well either openly or on the DL.

Every complaint we make about black women can also be made about black men. So when all the mud-slinging against one another cancels each other out…we are still left with:

88 black men for every 100 black women in the U.S.
So for the women who made it beyond the statistics, who also aren’t interested in “divesting” (b/c they know the truth about non-blk men being just as bad if not 100 times worse), this is what they choose.

I have solutions for both genders in our community, but I doubt either side is going to be honest enough to accept them. This IS TLR of the Coli after all.

Black men always get the blame tho. Even now you’re blaming them. When will black women stop being harlots and having kids out of wedlock? When the government can no longer afford it? When whites get angry and make the false claim, we’re taking advantage of the system even tho they are the one’s purposely screwing our communities? I’ve never seen you speak out on women, again men can’t fight nothing with no women on their side.

 

[Gloxina]

I told people more of this would be happening for countless reasons why for years on this site. Hate to be right but it is what it is.

Women still have reproductive desires but are unwilling to put up with some insufferable male traits and characteristics. So this is what you get. Many are adopting as well and forgoing motherhood altogether.

If you can’t find a reasonable partner that you are attracted to who is relationship minded and on the same page, this is the next step.
Not to mention, there’s a legit numbers issue when it comes to blk males and females in major cities. Incarceration rates and early homicides along with systemic white supremacy are to blame there. Apparently according to National census bureau theres 88 black men for every 100 black women.

Where Have All the Black Men Gone?

There's a gender imbalance in many African-American neighborhoods. Mass incarceration is largely to blame.

www.governing.com

We keep ignoring the impact of incarceration and early death in black men on the community to skip straight to the “black women only want thugs” or “black women don’t know how to choose”.
But even if every blk woman was perfect, nearly 20% would STILL be without based on just numbers.

This is why some ladies will have to marry out. A lot of us only get the memo when we’re older. If the girls in “diverse” areas or PWIs get the memo they can date whoever is around that is a good fit, and the young ladies who have access to a greater network of upwardly mobile young brehs can focus on dating brehs only, if they choose.

 

[RedCloakBlackWraithe]

this way she can have her cake and eat it too (sleep with the young men she's attracted to on tinder and other apps) and raise kids alone to impart on them the wisdom of single-mothers.

 

[RareHunter]

the same way dark skinned women are invisible to black men.

They seem to be getting it in quite a bit, and have children, so they can’t be that invisible. We as a community need to stop making excuses and make better choices. Very simple.

 

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

So, are single parent households optimal or ok for children? I mean, we have data that says otherwise, but based on this, are we saying it’s now ok?

CONTEXT. most people responding negatively are thinking of the statistics and stereotypes. OP framed it as people have the means to have in vitro, had the wherewithal to not get randomly pregnant at a younger age, etc. I think you can assume they have the means to skip a lot of the downfalls that come with being a single parent that doesn't have all the resources. for example a recent thread about elon musk having hella kids nobody cared and they was like "i would have 20 kids and 30 baby mamas if i was him"