College.
I’d say many dudes miss major opportunities by not attending college. A lot of people meet their spouses in college and school circles.
40+ Successful professional black women are getting in vitro to be "single mothers by choice"
- Thread starter Nigerianwonder
- Start date
I’d say many dudes miss major opportunities by not attending college. A lot of people meet their spouses in college and school circles.
the bossman
Superstar
This is my main concern. It's clear most older black women today are well-positioned financially to support a kid on their own. That's not a problem. But is that all that they will need? your brothers or uncles can help but they will never be able to truly fill that fatherly void that every kid would naturally yearn to have fill ed
Like you said that kid will have questions as they grow older about why mom decided to build me in a lab with no dad. That kid also gonna need a strong hand to help guide them when they enter their rebellious teenage years. I hope these single women choosing to go this route are really thinking all these things through
Figure 1. Women’s Marriage to Divorce Ratio and Marriage and Divorce Rate by Race Ethnicity, 2018
Source
^Black women are the least married and most divorced, with the highest out of wedlock birthrate (2x white women and almost 4x asian women) and the highest rate of obesity out of any demographic in America. I think it's quite clear from looking at the actual data that the rise of these 40+ black single career women that are running to in-vitro goes a little deeper than "there's not enough eligible black men".
But when you post black male mortality rates, suicide rates, health disparities, incarceration rates it becomes just as sobering as the pickle black women are in…only…get this…with only 88 blk men for every 100 blk women.
We can’t even get to collective problems until we literally reach parity in numbers. Homicide, early death, suicide, incarceration of blk men as a result of white supremacy has dramatically changed the landscape for dating.
I’m not even disaggregate data into the quality of the black men available. Whether they are unhealthy or obese or gay or unemployed or have self-hate or are living with parents as adult. We not even going there. Neither are we talking about blk women debt and thug love or obesity.
We literally underscoring the idea that in major cities that are black hubs, in colleges where most women in other races find their mates…in the places people would normally link up…black women outnumber black men by a 100:88 ratio.
Which is why I said time and time again that black women aren’t perfect. But even if they were, these disparities aren’t going anywhere.
68% of people surveyed responded that they met their significant other through friends. Many of those social circles are formed in school, universities, large metro areas. Areas where black women outnumber black men in statistically significant numbers.
I don't see the issue, I'm sure they're millions of kids out there who would rather have 1 rich parent instead of two poor ones, and it's better for those kid from a socio-economic standpoint.
Anyway professional woman everywhere are doing this at an increasing rate, in the end it's men who are gonna end up alone.
Anyway professional woman everywhere are doing this at an increasing rate, in the end it's men who are gonna end up alone.
OperationNumbNutts
Superstar
I actually know someone going through it now. 
I'm 40+ and I'm not sure what to think of it. Yes it's women nature to procreate. There is a serious mixed message black women are told since they are young to be independent and men are not really needed. I think we are seeing both internal and external indoctrination that work more against folks than for them. IMO that's the real issue.
I'm 40+ and I'm not sure what to think of it. Yes it's women nature to procreate. There is a serious mixed message black women are told since they are young to be independent and men are not really needed. I think we are seeing both internal and external indoctrination that work more against folks than for them. IMO that's the real issue.OperationNumbNutts
Superstar
Not really. You would be surprise how many good looking chicks will admit dudes don't approach them anymore.
the bossman
Superstar
they could be missing out, that wasn't my point. my point was toward people who think this is some kind of disaster or something. i don't think it is. i think it's different from having a deadbeat dad as opposed to never having a dad from the beginning.
i think most people are thinking of it from a "statistics show this or that..poor single mothers, teenage parents, etc" point of view. but these women don't seem to be the statistic, they are clearly the exception
Guarantee the kid with a dad that just doesn't care about him or his well-being and only shows up once every now and then feels much worse
I'm not sure what is worse tbh. To at least know you have a dad, even if he's a deadbeat who doesn't come around? or to know your mom online ordered you into this world by going to the Amazon checkout page and clicking no father included?
Like she didn't even allow you the option to have one at all, let alone one who's a deadbeat
bourgeoisie tall freak
Superstar
or... they would not be here at all to even ponder anything if the mother just chose not to have kids because she couldn't find a man
it's levels to it.so we got
1. not being
2. being with a rich mom only (who may possibly still have a partner in the future btw, i didn't see where OP said they would be abstinent lol)
3. being with a parents that dont love each other or are too poor for you to thrive
4. perfect family
like i said, there are worse options lol
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If you cannot find a mate to have children, then you should not have children. Nature is literally telling you to remove your undesirable characteristics and belligerent personality from the human gene pool. However these women have now found a way to subvert nature. I can't wait to see the result of these fatherless test-tube freaks in adulthood.
I think the option where you don't have to feel rejected and unwanted is the better one. Knowing that you have a parent that went through in vitro, which is painful and expensive probably means they REALLY wanted a baby and will love them unconditionally. I'm sure there are exceptions, but I don't personally know anyone that went through in vitro that doesn't go above and beyond for their children (I only know two parent homes that have done this though). A woman that craves motherhood usually will be a good mother. Most of these dead beat trash mothers y'all talk about are usually ones that didn't want kids in the first place. But that's a different conversation
.RareHunter
All Star
WrongI think the option where you don't have to feel rejected and unwanted is the better one. Knowing that you have a parent that went through in vitro, which is painful and expensive probably means they REALLY wanted a baby and will love them unconditionally. I'm sure there are exceptions, but I don't personally know anyone that went through in vitro that doesn't go above and beyond for their children (I only know two parent homes that have done this though). A woman that craves motherhood usually will be a good mother. Most of these dead beat trash mothers y'all talk about are usually ones that didn't want kids in the first place. But that's a different conversation
Henri Christophe
Son Of Afrika
I think the option where you don't have to feel rejected and unwanted is the better one. Knowing that you have a parent that went through in vitro, which is painful and expensive probably means they REALLY wanted a baby and will love them unconditionally. I'm sure there are exceptions, but I don't personally know anyone that went through in vitro that doesn't go above and beyond for their children (I only know two parent homes that have done this though). A woman that craves motherhood usually will be a good mother. Most of these dead beat trash mothers y'all talk about are usually ones that didn't want kids in the first place. But that's a different conversation
This juelz'ing only works if you got a daughter
If you got a son - he's gonna be pissed that he's fatherless
And he's probably gonna be a soft ass nikka cause he was raised by a rich woman.
Henri Christophe
Son Of Afrika
If my father wasnt around - I would definitely be a felon.
I was a wild ass kid and I stopped listening to my mother at 12 years old.
I was a wild ass kid and I stopped listening to my mother at 12 years old.
shyt is rough if you dont already have someone in some capacity. I see whats out there these days, I just shake my head sometimes and feel bad for everyone involved actually looking for something. Im in a situationship thats been off and on for years but it works for me because im flakey. Or it had worked but now she wants more because she's 30 and that clock hitting her. Ive been able to slide in and slide out at my discretion and every time, what I see out there gets worse and worse. Maybe I give her what she wants and sit my ass down, maybe I dont. But its definitely not because theres a plethora of great women at every turn to choose from.What’s your 1st hand account of how the dating scene is for a single 35+ man who has older kids in the city beans?
I been married for a few years now and Im out of the game, but it looks like a lot less is actually going on out there. Just a bunch of people spinning their wheels.
@Sterling Archer @Barnett114 @CHICAGO @Wildhundreds
TLDR: Slim pickings.
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