xoxodede
Superstar
IRL - yes. On the Coli.... maybe.
See.... I think my definition is different that most on this board. I would say she is one... UGH.
#Classic example.
Would You Seriously Date and/or Marry A "Pick Me?"
- Thread starter xoxodede
- Start date
IRL - yes. On the Coli.... maybe.
See.... I think my definition is different that most on this board. I would say she is one... UGH.
#Classic example.
(Lean Ambrose)
" Your all going to diiiiiie, pew pew pew"
I know I don't agree but I know...
Seems disingenuous to define pick mes as 'typically just cute' or 'typically overweight' ...when there's no evidence anywhere to support the notion that non-pick mes are any more attractive or any more fit. So I strongly disagree with anyone making level of attractiveness apart of the definition. I think that attempt speaks volumes about the OPs bias.
To answer the question in the opening post, nobody wants a mate who goes too much in either direction, nobody likes extremes. Nobody wants a woman without a backbone or her own opinions, that's boring. But on a spectrum, it's better to be submissive than combative. It's true that if you're more physically attractive, you can afford to be more combative...but as a general rule, men want women to fall in line, not jump to the front.
To answer the question in the opening post, nobody wants a mate who goes too much in either direction, nobody likes extremes. Nobody wants a woman without a backbone or her own opinions, that's boring. But on a spectrum, it's better to be submissive than combative. It's true that if you're more physically attractive, you can afford to be more combative...but as a general rule, men want women to fall in line, not jump to the front.
BrokePhiBroke
Superstar
Only heard her for a minute and she's correct.
I don't see where she went wrong. Sorry.
Edit-and she has a ring. How is she a "pick" me? <--- that's my first time hearing that.
I don't see where she went wrong. Sorry.
Edit-and she has a ring. How is she a "pick" me? <--- that's my first time hearing that.
xoxodede
Superstar
Biscayne
Ocean air
@xoxodede and @Koco
Lets be real. The very origins of the term "Pick Me" came from 3rd Wave Feminist and Black Feminist on Twitter. I don't usually go on the typical Coli "I hate feminists" rant, but in this case you gotta know the origin of the term, and you gotta know how MOST women determine who is and isnt a Pick Me. And a LARGE enough segment of women don't have a clearly defined definition of what a "Pick Me" is as you do. ALOT of them really label any woman who deviates at least a tad bit from the feminist ideology, as a "Pick Me". I'm sure there are women with waaaaay less extreme views as the woman you posted, who have been labled a "Pick Me". No seriously, a BW could say "All Black men aren't bad" and that'll be considered treading "Pick Me" waters in alot of these women's eyes. It's either "Black Men Are Trash" or else you're just another "Pick Me". It's their term. They made it up. They (feminist) ultimately get to dictate who is and isn't a Pick Me. You don't determine that....
Be reality OP. Im sure you're on Twitter...
Lets be real. The very origins of the term "Pick Me" came from 3rd Wave Feminist and Black Feminist on Twitter. I don't usually go on the typical Coli "I hate feminists" rant, but in this case you gotta know the origin of the term, and you gotta know how MOST women determine who is and isnt a Pick Me. And a LARGE enough segment of women don't have a clearly defined definition of what a "Pick Me" is as you do. ALOT of them really label any woman who deviates at least a tad bit from the feminist ideology, as a "Pick Me". I'm sure there are women with waaaaay less extreme views as the woman you posted, who have been labled a "Pick Me". No seriously, a BW could say "All Black men aren't bad" and that'll be considered treading "Pick Me" waters in alot of these women's eyes. It's either "Black Men Are Trash" or else you're just another "Pick Me". It's their term. They made it up. They (feminist) ultimately get to dictate who is and isn't a Pick Me. You don't determine that....
Be reality OP. Im sure you're on Twitter...
xoxodede
Superstar
@xoxodede
Lets be real. The very origins of the term "Pick Me" came from 3rd Wave Feminist and Black Feminist on Twitter. I don't usually go on the typical Coli "I hate feminists" rant, but in this case you gotta know the origin of the term, and you gotta know how MOST women determine who is and isnt a Pick Me. And a LARGE enough segment of women don't have a clearly defined definition of what a "Pick Me" is as you do. ALOT of them really label any woman who deviates at least a tad bit from the feminist ideology, as a "Pick Me". I'm sure there are women with waaaaay less extreme views as the woman you posted, who have been labled a "Pick Me". No seriously, a BW could say "All Black men aren't bad" and that'll be considered treading "Pick Me" waters in alot of these women's eyes. It's either "Black Men Are Trash" or else you're just another "Pick Me". It's their term. They made it up. They (feminist) ultimately get to dictate who is and isn't a Pick Me. You don't determine that....
Be reality OP. Im sure you're on Twitter...
I don't do social media. Just not into it.
But, thanks for the lesson. I first heard it online - I don't remember where - but I liked it. It fit so well for some people I knew. So, I adapted it into my vocab.
I don't agree with your assessment. Because, I often have to take up for BM - or shut comments down if I see something I know is false and not representative of the Black men I KNOW, date, around and raised me. I am not a "pick me" - and even those who use the word wouldn't call me that.
So, I guess it's subjective and based on who uses it.
But, like a few posters said "generalizations" is causing disarray in our community.
Entropy Fan
Superstar
xoxodede
Superstar
I respect your opinion. We will agree to disagree.
The Real Definition or MY Definition of a "Pick Me:"
- a black woman or woman who wants a man so bad ; or is invested in keeping her man from stepping out - due to her "basic" homely status. A chosen "Pick Me" lives in fear that her man/husband and relationship can be taken away at any time - more so than the average woman.
xoxodede
Superstar
"typically" - does not mean always. But, it's usually true in the cases I have seen. It can be different for different people - that is why I said "typically.'
Bias - against what? Weight?
I totally agree with your second paragraph.
Thanks!
xoxodede
Superstar
It's not a generational thing
Lmao!!!!!! Not today Satan!
OP u really trying to start some shyt today!
Welp men and women need to be honest and realize that self-preservation and a healthy sense of self means that neither gender is going to go out of their way to cape for the interests unless they are in love.
So when you see "pick mes" and "female panderers" everybody gives em the
face b/c they aren't being genuine. They are seeking validation by telling people what they want to hear.
True growth comes from honest discourse which is why I give absolutely no fukks about rubbing men OR women the wrong way when it comes to discussing shyt.
The opposite is the true contrarian who feels the need to argue with EVERYTHING which is JUST as irritating as the simpering panderer who wants a pat on the head.
Neither extreme in any gender is attractive. The sad thing about pick mes and male panderers is that ya'll are flirting with a ticking time bomb. For reasons I explained earlier they are unstable. And when they can't nice somebody into loving them they become the WORST most bitter people ever. These are also the types most likely to play themselves in the friend zone being "nice" and getting played. Being agreeable doesn't equal being entitled to affection or love.
One day ya'll gon learn. Love don't work like that.
OP u really trying to start some shyt today!
Welp men and women need to be honest and realize that self-preservation and a healthy sense of self means that neither gender is going to go out of their way to cape for the interests unless they are in love.
So when you see "pick mes" and "female panderers" everybody gives em the
face b/c they aren't being genuine. They are seeking validation by telling people what they want to hear.True growth comes from honest discourse which is why I give absolutely no fukks about rubbing men OR women the wrong way when it comes to discussing shyt.
The opposite is the true contrarian who feels the need to argue with EVERYTHING which is JUST as irritating as the simpering panderer who wants a pat on the head.
Neither extreme in any gender is attractive. The sad thing about pick mes and male panderers is that ya'll are flirting with a ticking time bomb. For reasons I explained earlier they are unstable. And when they can't nice somebody into loving them they become the WORST most bitter people ever. These are also the types most likely to play themselves in the friend zone being "nice" and getting played. Being agreeable doesn't equal being entitled to affection or love.
One day ya'll gon learn. Love don't work like that.
They just like to call women who think logically pick me's.