Worst Date /Sexual Experiences

[Silkk]

When I was in college This kid from sociology wanted the P.
So I entertained the thirst for a bit, he was fineeeee.
End of semester was near and I offered help with study guides for exams and what not.
Anything to get him in my house.
After a bottle or two I went in for the kill, He ripped my clothes off and got on top.


Only... As I laid there.... he was jackhammering me.
but.... not my p*ssy....

Just in between my thighs...

I was stuck, astonished, I wanted to laugh in his face so damn bad...
He started to talk dirty about how I loved him deep in my p*ssy.
I.. was ... WEAK. lmaooooo
After 6 mins of jackhammering he came.

I told him to pack his belongings, go home, and study by himself.

The disappointment was real that evening.

No fukking Way


No fukking Way

 

[Kings County]

so i've been dating this girl for a few weeks. she is by far one of the hottest girls i've ever dated. definitely top 3 of all time. like, i know how fortunate i am to be dating her right now.

anyways, she knows that i want to fukk her. like so bad. and she's been fukking with my head about it though. i haven't hit it yet, but gotten so damn close. like making out and under the clothes touching, but every time we almost get to doing it, she stops and keeps withholding from me. i think she gets off on my torture, but i'm cool with it.

then the other night happened. we went on a date and went back to her place afterward. in her ultimate move to fukk with me, she said "let me put on a show for you"; and started stripping. and got naked, she then got on her bed, and took out her dildo. it was fukking huge and black. anyways, she started fukking herself with it in front of me. it was so awesome. it was like those online videos, but in real person. i can't describe how sexy it was. needless to say, i had a raging boner and couldn't take it anymore.

i told her that she needed the real deal and went over to her on the bed. she then stopped me and said "i'll play with your toy.... if you play with my toy"; i was like, WTF? then she simultaneously put her lips on my dikk and put the dildo to my lips. "suck it"; she said. "i'll suck yours";. oh my god. it was weird. like, i was just so horny, and wanted her to suck my d1ck so bad, that i just went with it. then she started moving that sh1t in and out of my mouth, like, really mouth fukking me with a black dildo while she sucked my d1ck. i had a brief moment of "this shyts gay"; but i didnt want her to stop giving me head. before i knew it, i couldn't help it, and i came. with a dildo in my mouth.

have to be trolling I CANT BREATHEEEE RIGHTTT NOWWWW

 

[Smiley]

so i've been dating this girl for a few weeks. she is by far one of the hottest girls i've ever dated. definitely top 3 of all time. like, i know how fortunate i am to be dating her right now.

anyways, she knows that i want to fukk her. like so bad. and she's been fukking with my head about it though. i haven't hit it yet, but gotten so damn close. like making out and under the clothes touching, but every time we almost get to doing it, she stops and keeps withholding from me. i think she gets off on my torture, but i'm cool with it.

then the other night happened. we went on a date and went back to her place afterward. in her ultimate move to fukk with me, she said "let me put on a show for you"; and started stripping. and got naked, she then got on her bed, and took out her dildo. it was fukking huge and black. anyways, she started fukking herself with it in front of me. it was so awesome. it was like those online videos, but in real person. i can't describe how sexy it was. needless to say, i had a raging boner and couldn't take it anymore.

i told her that she needed the real deal and went over to her on the bed. she then stopped me and said "i'll play with your toy.... if you play with my toy"; i was like, WTF? then she simultaneously put her lips on my dikk and put the dildo to my lips. "suck it"; she said. "i'll suck yours";. oh my god. it was weird. like, i was just so horny, and wanted her to suck my d1ck so bad, that i just went with it. then she started moving that sh1t in and out of my mouth, like, really mouth fukking me with a black dildo while she sucked my d1ck. i had a brief moment of "this shyts gay"; but i didnt want her to stop giving me head. before i knew it, i couldn't help it, and i came. with a dildo in my mouth.

This is story in these exact words is pretty old and recycled,
always funny to read though.

 

[Rawtid]

Went on date a while ago with this guy and we met at red lobster. He talked about himself from the moment we were seated and wouldn't shut up. All through dinner "I this, I that". So soon after our food gets to the table he goes "Listen when we are finished eating, you get up and act like you're going to the bathroom and then I'll get up and act like I have to go to the bathroom and we'll just walk out". I was like WTF "Are you kidding?" but he was dead ass. After confirming he wasn't joking, I gathered up my stuff and left. He yells behind me "NOT NOW!!! WHEN WE'RE DONE EATING!!".

 

[Teal.]

so i've been dating this girl for a few weeks. she is by far one of the hottest girls i've ever dated. definitely top 3 of all time. like, i know how fortunate i am to be dating her right now.

anyways, she knows that i want to fukk her. like so bad. and she's been fukking with my head about it though. i haven't hit it yet, but gotten so damn close. like making out and under the clothes touching, but every time we almost get to doing it, she stops and keeps withholding from me. i think she gets off on my torture, but i'm cool with it.

then the other night happened. we went on a date and went back to her place afterward. in her ultimate move to fukk with me, she said "let me put on a show for you"; and started stripping. and got naked, she then got on her bed, and took out her dildo. it was fukking huge and black. anyways, she started fukking herself with it in front of me. it was so awesome. it was like those online videos, but in real person. i can't describe how sexy it was. needless to say, i had a raging boner and couldn't take it anymore.

i told her that she needed the real deal and went over to her on the bed. she then stopped me and said "i'll play with your toy.... if you play with my toy"; i was like, WTF? then she simultaneously put her lips on my dikk and put the dildo to my lips. "suck it"; she said. "i'll suck yours";. oh my god. it was weird. like, i was just so horny, and wanted her to suck my d1ck so bad, that i just went with it. then she started moving that sh1t in and out of my mouth, like, really mouth fukking me with a black dildo while she sucked my d1ck. i had a brief moment of "this shyts gay"; but i didnt want her to stop giving me head. before i knew it, i couldn't help it, and i came. with a dildo in my mouth.

Copy and pasted

 

[Silkk]

so i've been dating this girl for a few weeks. she is by far one of the hottest girls i've ever dated. definitely top 3 of all time. like, i know how fortunate i am to be dating her right now.

anyways, she knows that i want to fukk her. like so bad. and she's been fukking with my head about it though. i haven't hit it yet, but gotten so damn close. like making out and under the clothes touching, but every time we almost get to doing it, she stops and keeps withholding from me. i think she gets off on my torture, but i'm cool with it.

then the other night happened. we went on a date and went back to her place afterward. in her ultimate move to fukk with me, she said "let me put on a show for you"; and started stripping. and got naked, she then got on her bed, and took out her dildo. it was fukking huge and black. anyways, she started fukking herself with it in front of me. it was so awesome. it was like those online videos, but in real person. i can't describe how sexy it was. needless to say, i had a raging boner and couldn't take it anymore.

i told her that she needed the real deal and went over to her on the bed. she then stopped me and said "i'll play with your toy.... if you play with my toy"; i was like, WTF? then she simultaneously put her lips on my dikk and put the dildo to my lips. "suck it"; she said. "i'll suck yours";. oh my god. it was weird. like, i was just so horny, and wanted her to suck my d1ck so bad, that i just went with it. then she started moving that sh1t in and out of my mouth, like, really mouth fukking me with a black dildo while she sucked my d1ck. i had a brief moment of "this shyts gay"; but i didnt want her to stop giving me head. before i knew it, i couldn't help it, and i came. with a dildo in my mouth.

i read this troll story before

 

[Smiley]

Assuming you're really a female, what do you mean he was jackhammering your thighs? Did he put it in or no?

no, literally, in-between my thigh meat.

 

[Black White Sox Hat]

I was talking to this bad ass jamaican chick with the greatest ass i ever seen.I thought i hit the fukking lottery.I start taking her pants off and playin with the p*ssy and then the flamejob hit my nose.She got that stankonia.p*ssy stanking like a ma fukka.I told her i forgot i had to go to my friends house and get something.And she jumped up grabbed her purse and stormed out.She was a ol ratchet actin hoe anyway but that ass

 

[Silkk]

no, literally, in-between my thigh meat.

Was he retarded?

 

[AITheAnswerAI]

I went out with this chick a couple times until she brought me back to her place. She was a 21 year old skinny hawaiian chick, about a 6. It was a dry spell for me, so I just wanted to smash I put the moves on her and we ended up in her bed I told her to take her clothes off and when she got to her underwear, I noticed she had some kinda vest/night gown thing on She kinda hesitated before taking it off, but I said "everything" and she took it off and a fukking beer gut spilled out like this bytch was pregnant I was thinking how the fukk she has a stomach like that at age 21?? I didn't wanna walk out right then....but I did. I made some excuse of having to wake up early the next morning and having to go pick up my friend.




:aiscust:

 

[Kings County]

Went on date a while ago with this guy and we met a red lobster. He talked about himself from the moment we were seated and wouldn't shut up. All through dinner "I this, I that". So soon after our food gets to the table he goes "Listen when we are finished eating, you get up and act like you're going to the bathroom and then I'll get up and act like I have to go to the bathroom and we'll just walk out". I was like WTF "Are you kidding?" but he was dead ass. After confirming he wasn't joking, I gathered up my stuff and left. He yells behind me "NOT NOW!!! WHEN WE'RE DONE EATING!!".

 

[Smiley]

Was he retarded?

Lmfao No.
But he sure proved otherwise.

 

[AITheAnswerAI]

no, literally, in-between my thigh meat.

 

[acri1]

no, literally, in-between my thigh meat.

I don't quite understand this.

Was he blind or something? Too dark to see? I mean...I just don't get what was going on.

I'm an absent-minded person at times myself, but I don't see how dude could possibly fail to notice that he wasn't in.

 

[AITheAnswerAI]

I don't quite understand this.

Was he blind or something? Too dark to see? I mean...I just don't get what was going on.

Either the dude had a tiny dikk or she's huge.