why do women punish the men they settle for?

[Reptile]

That is why you vet the woman. Don't allow your attraction to her to blind you to the red flag she is waving. Pay attention to what she says and what she does. Also, pay attention to her body language. A lot of times that can give away the truth about her feelings about you, because natural first reactions expressed in her body language are very hard to fake.

I.E. Be perceptive, because going into a marriage is one of the most important decisions you will make in your life. So it behooves you to do your best to make sure you are choosing correctly. So again, do not allow your emotions to over-ride your logic on this decision.

If I aint first, then Im the worst; at that point Im out.

 

[Reptile]

All of this! Misery loves company

Also, OP you’re asking why they mistreat their mate but you also need to ask why the mate stays with that toxic person?

Both are damaged/broken in some way to 1) treat people like shyt and 2) accept being treated like shyt. You can’t have one without the other

Different sides of the same coin.

 

[Vodun]

another day another one of these threads

you wouldn't happen to be #dogset would you OP?

Naw fishset breh! Lol

 

[Vodun]

This is hilarious after seeing the way TLR reacted to single women having in-vitro babies

Yall expect these women to just sit around and die?

Better to die alone then just be with somebody you don't really care for. That's pretty fukked up don't you think? That not fair to that other person

 

[Mordith]

I have no sympathy for any man who lacks the backbone necessary to stand up for himself....

 

[Max Power]

How is it crazy?...this is exactly how men treat their pickmiesha wives while playing around with that's every chance they get..

Your brain and spirit are completely broken

Imagine being a divestor and posting on a forum catering to black men... It's not enough for you to fukk off, you need to lash out.

 

[Won Won]

to hear your guys opinions on it. a lot of you guys got a lot wisdom

 

[High Art]

Your brain and spirit are completely broken

Imagine being a divestor and posting on a forum catering to black men... It's not enough for you to fukk off, you need to lash out.

Right? Every single post by her is a whole mess of shea bitterness. She can't even be arsed to post about some other topic like cookies or something. IF she ever did, she'd be saying shyt like "black men like vanilla cookies or white chocolate...you know they don't eat fudge ".

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

Basically. Flip the chessboard on them. If you can get them to believe you're the prize she'll settle into her role and behave herself. Easier said than done though.

This isn’t happening without the looks and income. This is why I keep telling y’all to stop expecting these women to settle with men they aren’t attracted to. Nobody is going to put a lot of effort into a person they aren’t attracted to. You wouldn’t be with her if you didn’t find her attractive, yet some of y’all are expecting women to only care about personality.

You would never approach this woman at the bar:

But if you learned she had all the other qualities you wanted, would those qualities make you lust after her? No! This is what brehs are expecting women to do. On the contrary, a woman who looks like this can’t expect to pull Jalen Hurts, but she may be able to get OG overweight Anthony Edwards. They would be equal in looks.

Other than looks, if you know a woman wants a certain lifestyle, and you can’t provide it, you can’t be with her. If she is highly educated, she is going to want an educated man. It’s that simple. But y’all want women to lower their standards with you. Let them be alone, and figure out what they want to do.

And stop thinking highly educated men don’t care whether or not a woman is educated. An educated man wants a woman who is going to instill the proper values, and have intelligent kids. He wants the kids who win the science fair. That is not happening with a waitress. Men can have standards too.

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

All of this! Misery loves company

Also, OP you’re asking why they mistreat their mate but you also need to ask why the mate stays with that toxic person.

Both are damaged/broken in some way to 1) treat people like shyt and 2) accept being treated like shyt. You can’t have one without the other

You have to have low self esteem/self worth to stay in a relationship with someone who disrespects you. People can only treat you how you allow them. But some people are so afraid to be alone, that they put up with bad treatment.

 

[BaggerofTea]

How is it crazy?...this is exactly how men treat their pickmiesha wives while playing around with that's every chance they get..

you need psychiatric therapy

 

[null]

As a man, my question to women why even get in a relationship anyways if you are going to mistreat your boyfriend or husband like shyt it doesn't make sense

its waste of time and effort with little returns and just plane evil

because the men let them do it.

you know deep down if a girl is really into you or not.

if she ain't then keep your distance and maintain respect/boundaries.

 

[lib123]

Some great points in here. I wanna talk about “settling”

I’ll add that the word “settle” inherently implies value over another. Sometimes people over inflate their value so they BELIEVE they settled but actually found their level.

Another point. Some in here were saying men do it too. In reality MOST men more so than women actually do settle because they don’t have the ability to attract the girl they wanted. Men on average don’t have the luxury of choice. So we get in where we fit in.

Women do have the luxury of choice. Problem is their mind gets polluted over the years by a wide range of men they’ve dealt with. Meaning, men that’s very attractive to them using them for sex over a period of time. I believe situationships with men that ordinarily they wouldn’t have a chance with poison women’s minds to make them believe they settled when they shouldn’t have even had the opportunity to begin with

Widen the pool and someone starts to believe they “settled”.

This. It’s interesting how articles and research always note how women are much more risk-averse when it comes to risky investments and gambling, but many “gamble” as far as trying to secure commitment from certain men. A lot of girls seeking marriage would be better off long-term if they stopped having casual relationships with these types after 24/25 and focused on getting the best man they can for a committed relationship. I’d imagine as they get older and look back they realize this and get bitter.

Also it seems that many women experience a societal and/or internalized stigma if they’re still single by a certain age similar to how men feel if they haven’t become financially stable by 40. As a young breh I was surprised to hear that some women feel embarrassed to attend weddings alone. If that’s the case, I see why many “settle” for men they don’t really like.

 

[RamsayBolton]

Better to die alone then just be with somebody you don't really care for. That's pretty fukked up don't you think? That not fair to that other person

I can agree in a detached way, but people are way too selfish for that

 

[xXOGLEGENDXx]

There is no such thing as settling. People are just upset because they came to the realization that this is what they qualify for.
But they FEEL different because they have delusions of grandeur.

If all you have is Toyota money, but you're in a Lamborghini dealership, you're not getting a Lambo because you can't afford it.
Would it make sense to say you settled for a Toyota?
No.