Why do so many men not take care of their kids?

[marcuz]

you wont get a serious answer on here because the coli is filled with bytch nikkas who like to point the finger instead of stepping up and taking responsibility. I guess that kind of answers the op's question and explans why the black community is in shambles. Its all on black womens shoulders.

who is to blame for you being a single mother?

 

[Blah1991]

Marcuz, why does the parent who actually raises the child (whether she is doing a good job or not is subjective) draw most of your ire, not the parent who abandons the child?!?!? It makes NO sense.

i got what you meant, and i still disagree. just staying to raise your kids isn't good enough either. quality of life means more above all else.

 

[FTBS]

This is the problem,

Marriage means NOTHING. How many women from our parents generation did y'all see become single mothers after their husbands fukked off something.

I don't know where these 'black' people on this forum live that they are ignoring the fact that this problem is not exclusive to single mothers. Husbands are leaving their seeds every day.

Lemme guess 'well she shouldn't have picked him for a husband!'

It's not just black people. For the majority of society marriage is nothing more than an excuse to throw and expensive party that you really can't afford. The concept of sticking with a person no matter what for the rest of your life is // to most people.

As far as the bolded goes there is actually some validity there. Before you marry some person you should vet them thoroughly. You should have a solid handle on your husband/wife's character. Too many things get either missed or overlooked because people are so caught up in a storybook, some good sex, or just plain thirsty.

 

[Taadow]

How old are y'all?

 

[Kitsune]

But wedlock means nothing if as you said the culture around it has a problem. Many single mothers were once married. Institutions are nothing without people being dedicated to them.

The only two parent households that im personally aware of come from one where the couples are married and above all, marriage is the most concrete representation of a mans commitement to the person he decides to marry; yes in this cultural climate it doesnt the significance it once had, but its significance is still greater than any other alternative.

 

[Theraflu]

@Born2BKing I have a family friend who the mum was with the dad for like 12 years, married he left them when we were approaching secondary school. We ain't seen this man since.

So many of my friends I grew up with, I have fuzzy memories of their dad and one day their dad just left. These ain't RayRaye and Tyrone of the street either, this was real black men leaving their wives and kids behind.

I look at videotapes from back in the day and see 'yea that was so and so's dad what happened to him ?' These men sometimes even forget their own kids birthdays.

A lot of men leave their seeds/wives without a single fukk given.

 

[Blackout]

80% of the threads in here are deflecting to the women. Does that not correlate into putting more blame onto them?

It correlates to men not being able to answer becaue they arent dead beat dads and/or dead beat dads are avoiding this thread so they wont be able to answer.

Are you trolling me? By saying if women should just chose better it wouldn't happen, while making no mention of men at all or saying both parties could exercise birth control is saying that. If you don't see that, then refer to the second sentence of my previous reply

Its saying a way to stop future cases like this from happening.

I hate dead beat dads as much as the next guy but a solution is what we need.

 

[Born2BKing]

It's fukking pathetic breh.

Legit no matter how u angle a question on here somehow it ends up being turned around on the woman.

fukk how u feel about the woman, don't fukking leave ur son. I don't get how u can have a black kid somewhere in this racist land and just not give a fukk or care about their existence. shyts foul.

Bu bu but his mama be stressing me man. Man the fukk up and call your son nikka.

 

[Mountain]

How old are y'all?

lol real sht.

 

[FTBS]

The only two parent househouse hold that im personally aware of come from a married householda and above all, marriage is the most concrete representation of a mans commitement to the person he decides to marry; yes in this cultural climate it doesnt the significance it once had, but its significance is still greater than any other alternative.

There are plenty of unmarried two parent households. I know some unmarried families that are stronger and more together than some married ones. Don't get me wrong, I am pro-marriage (I am actually married), but I just don't think marriage by itself can fix things that require a much deeper and more thorough cultural makeover. The biggest issue is people going around fukking any and everybody AND doing so raw. People actually taking responsibility for their own bodies as well as the well being of their future children would do far more to improve things in this regard than people entering into covenants that they don't understand and aren't fully devoted to.

 

[rogue_riezo]

Some nikkas just don't give a fukk . They don't want to accept the responsibility. They see the child as an indefinite money and time siphoning inconvenience and take the "easy" way out, especially considering it was the result of a few minutes of pleasure. I put easy in " " because I don't know how easy it really is letting your seed be raised by a single mom, or even that woman and another man.

Let's not ignore when the BM is a thot and the guy does not want to acknowledge that the baby is his because there is the strong chance it ain't his. No man wants to catch another mans 18 years.

There is no justification for it, woman need to choose who they let creampie them more wisely.

 

[intruder]

When I have kids again, that's the route I'm going. I wouldn't ask a particular individual to be the the father though would rather just search through the database at some sperm bank

While I am flattered by it when these women I've had relationships with or been intimate with do it . I still feel weird about the whole situation.. Imagine me coming up to you and asking you to have my child and you'd have to give up said child to me after you give birth

 

[Taadow]

This is what ever single male poster should have said. But instead it went right back to the women should have picked a better man as if we didn't already know that.

Really?

That's what all of us should have said?

Even those of us with no children? How do we need to "do better"? We didn't do anything wrong...

 

[Raava]

It correlates to men not being able to answer becaue they arent dead beat dads and/or dead beat dads are avoiding this thread.

Its saying a way to stop future cases like this from happening.

I hate dead beat dads as much as the next guy but a solution is what we need.

You are missing the point. I have answered the question you asked twice. Why is their only mention of women when they bring up stopping future cases? That is the point. The first thing they hop to is blaming the woman. Men have as much power not to father children they have no intention of caring for, yet they are never addressed.

 

[marcuz]

When I have kids again, that's the route I'm going. I wouldn't ask a particular individual to be the the father though would rather just search through the database at some sperm bank

and this is exactly what i'm talking about. you're just being more procedural about it, but most BW just want the seed; who cares about where it comes from.

with more BW choosing to use legitimate sperm banks, how could y'all still turn around and blame absent fathers?