Why do so many men not take care of their kids?

[FTBS]

children born in wedlock would still curb a large segment of the potential single parented households; thats progress regardless if the circumstances may not solve the problem entirerly. Otherwise I agree with the rest, at the root of it all, its a cultural problem and until that gets addressed then these problem will continue to thrive; a cultural shift is what we really need

But wedlock means nothing if as you said the culture around it has a problem. Many single mothers were once married. Institutions are nothing without people being dedicated to them.

 

[Rawtid]

I can see why you say the bolded, but that's a two-way street as well...

I know some women who have gotten pregnant and perhaps (to your point) realize they don't want to raise their child with that
particular man. Because of that, they limit said mans' access to that child. That doesn't make that man a "bum" or a "deadbeat",
but it does explain why so many men don't have as full a share in child rearing as they would like. There are a lot of men
being kept from their babies.

- One woman I know straight up a dude "I want to raise her by myself - don't even send me money."
- A couple of women dipped out of state and never told the daddies.

It's cold game - but it is the game...

I definitely agree with the bold, I see examples of what you've written all the time.

 

[Rarely-Wrong Liggins]

Nice to see everything getting back to normal around here.

 

[Rawtid]

Not to derail the thread but I have a question for you: What do you make of the women who seek sperm donors or just wanna have a baby with men that have no interest of being with them?

I have had 2 women ask me to father their children. These are women that were in their early to mid 30s on the "clock ticking" mode. Their approach was "I just want a child, you dont have to be involved". Now, im no pretty boy super model or self-proclaimed "Alpha-male" type. So if i could have females making these proposals to me how do i know that there arent as many other mofos getitng the same from clock ticking females?

Edit: And this is NOT counting the "if i'm not married or have a child by the time i'm 36 i want you to be my sperm donor" I have about 3 more of those

When I have kids again, that's the route I'm going. I wouldn't ask a particular individual to be the the father though would rather just search through the database at some sperm bank

 

[marcuz]

You guys are constantly asking women who aren't single mothers to answer for women who are. What's the difference?

the female dapping this post being a single mother that avoided my question to her

 

[Theraflu]

Nice to see everything getting back to normal around here.

I hate TLR

 

[Smoke]

Damn, I deflected like shyt, I been here a week and I'm already doing it.

I believe it's an optional thing...as men we have the option of not being there that many men tend to choose. I believe that if women weren't the ones birthing the child, and had the ability to to not be around, quite a few of them would take it as well. You even have a pretty large sample size of children staying with their Grandparents, Aunties, etc because the mother wasn't ready to be a mother.

 

[Blah1991]

i disagree

and most BW would disagree IF their sons turns out to be worth something. that's when single black mothers accept all accountability, praise and accolades.

Lmao are you suggesting that the mom doesn't deserve the accolades? Who deserves it? The bum ass black man who abandoned his kids?

 

[Theraflu]

But wedlock means nothing if as you said the culture around it has a problem. Many single mothers were once married. Institutions are nothing without people being dedicated to them.

This is the problem,

Marriage means NOTHING. How many women from our parents generation did y'all see become single mothers after their husbands fukked off somewhere.

I don't know where these 'black' people on this forum live that they are ignoring the fact that this problem is not exclusive to single mothers. Husbands are leaving their seeds every day.

Lemme guess 'well she shouldn't have picked him for a husband!'

 

[marcuz]

Lmao are you suggesting that the mom doesn't deserve the accolades? Who deserves it? The bum ass black man who abandoned his kids?

might as well, y'all blame them for everything any other time

 

[thoushallhustle]

you wont get a serious answer on here because the coli is filled with bytch nikkas who like to point the finger instead of stepping up and taking responsibility. I guess that kind of answers the op's question and explans why the black community is in shambles. Its all on black womens shoulders.

 

[Strapped]

Chicks need to pick better men

 

[Born2BKing]

No-one is actually answering the question.

Why are some men not taking care of kids.

Why do some men feel comfy having seeds somewhere in whatever state and give no fukks how they're doing etc.

This is a genuine question I want to know the answer to......my only guess is when some dudes don't fukk with the kids mum they could give a fukk less about the kid.

This isn't exclusive to baby mama situations either. I've seen men who DIVORCE their wife, take off with a new woman and abandon their first family and never look back.

I know women who were married, happily so, husband cheats and husband runs off with a new woman, leaving the kids to grow up fatherless. Let's not pretend this is a 'single mum' issue. Cos it happens after divorce also.

And no-one is answering WHY ?!

Dude don't even call or ever visit the kids in a lot of cases. They send that lil check and could give a fukk how they are doing. I just don't get that logic man. I couldn't do that to my damn dog, so can't see how dudes do it to children. Wish someone had some answers in here.

 

[Theraflu]

80% of the threads in here are deflecting to the women. Does that not correlate into putting more blame onto them?

It's fukking pathetic breh.

Legit no matter how u angle a question on here somehow it ends up being turned around on the woman.

fukk how u feel about the woman, don't fukking leave ur son. I don't get how u can have a black kid somewhere in this racist land and just not give a fukk or care about their existence. shyts foul.

 

[HoLLaBaCK]

There is no absolute answer here...different situations have different answers.

- you have your straight bum ass dudes who are stuck in what Nas called their "2nd childhood"

- you got your dudes who are so feed up with their baby mothers that they don't even want to be involved with their child.

- you got dudes who never had a father and dont know what it even is to be a father.

- you got dudes who knocked up the side bytch and don't claim the kid for fear of fukking up their main situation.

I disagree with the main theory of this thread is its all on the women to stop fukking bum dudes. Men also need to be more selective with the women they impregnate.