i disagree
and most BW would disagree IF their sons turns out to be worth something. that's when single black mothers accept all accountability, praise and accolades.
Why do so many men not take care of their kids?
and most BW would disagree IF their sons turns out to be worth something. that's when single black mothers accept all accountability, praise and accolades.
I say its this more than anything. People have these fantasy views of what parenthood should be like...married, with the love of their life and the whole nine and when it doesnt fit that mold they dip. Its not the life they wanted.
Born2BKing
Veteran
Men need to take care of their seeds, point, blank, period. It does work both ways and if a woman is not ready for a baby or suspects the dude would dip if she got pregnant, she should use contraceptives. It has become a culture for some folks to be a "baby mama" or "baby dehdeh". It's many reasons for this including government assistance, "trapping someone", being single at an older age, etc. We got to address it from every aspect and not just deflect attention back to the women. I had to switch barbers recently because he straight up told me he had a daughter in Philly and he been tryna duck her. Never going back to that dead beat nikka.
Desirous
Action expresses priorities
i disagree
and most BW would disagree IF their sons turns out to be worth something. that's when single black mothers accept all accountability, praise and accolades.
Any parent who is there for his/her child deserves accolades, period. Doesn't mean the dead beat parent is less responsible for being absent.
Not to derail the thread but I have a question for you: What do you make of the women who seek sperm donors or just wanna have a baby with men that have no interest of being with them?
I have had 2 women ask me to father their children. These are women that were in their early to mid 30s on the "clock ticking" mode. Their approach was "I just want a child, you dont have to be involved". Now, im no pretty boy super model or self-proclaimed "Alpha-male" type. So if i could have females making these proposals to me how do i know that there arent as many other mofos getitng the same from clock ticking females?
Edit: And this is NOT counting the "if i'm not married or have a child by the time i'm 36 i want you to be my sperm donor" I have about 3 more of those
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LucaBrasi
West Coast Legend
I'd say a mix of ignorance, fear and inability to be a responsible grown man.
It all leads back to the father figure
Like bullied kids are shown to in turn become bullies themselves, many men that grew up without a father their whole life will turn around and do the same.
Fact is I think many wouldn't know any better, they have no role model to show them how it's done at an early age.
I ain't saying every man that grows up without a father becomes a dead beat daddy that's obviously not the case.
Desirous
Action expresses priorities
That's different because it's not like the father wouldn't be around because he didn't want anything to do with the child. Just like if you're married and your husband dies...he's not going to be around, but the kid won't grow up with abandonment issues.
"men need to take care of their kids" is empty rhetoric that doesn't make anyone change their behavior.
nobody is even advocating for deadbeat dads. y'all just like hoping on this forum, pretending like coli posters are the reason y'all are either fatherless or the nikka these BW fukked ran out.
once again, i disagree. you dont deserve accolades JUST for showing up, especially when you're doing a piss poor job.
Are you sure those kids will be told the truth half the time?
Desirous
Action expresses priorities
once again, i disagree. you dont deserve accolades JUST for showing up, especially when you're doing a piss poor job.
That's why I said who is THERE for his/her child...not who "shows up from time to time." I meant, raising the kid.
i got what you meant, and i still disagree. just staying to raise your kids isn't good enough either. quality of life means more above all else.
Dafunkdoc_Unlimited
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Because being a parent is hard work and most of us had no role-models to show us how to get it done. So, imagine going to work everyday with no idea as to what you're supposed to do because you never got trained but EVERYONE expects you to know how to perform your duties and NO ONE gives you any help even when you ask for it.
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Born2BKing
Veteran
Naw I just feel like deflecting back to the women is giving these dudes a pass. There are thousands and thousands of children who are currently out there with absent fathers. The solutions you guys are giving will do nothing for them. I'm trying to think of what can be done to get these dudes interested in being in their kids lives and getting the mothers interested in having the child's father in their life.
was your childs father suitable for you in retrospect?