The fact that people can't see how cruel and unreasonable Tony is in that scene, and how much like his mother he has become (despite the fact we all, myself included still like him) speaks volumes about how people view male and female relationships, especially on television. Tony didn't have the money, that's why he was harassing Carmela, he lost all of his play money and was losing control of his gambling, so he lashes out in anger at Carmela, and goes on a tirade, because he feels powerless and out of control.
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The fact that someone would demonize Carmela for the sin of "being with Tony for his money" is just ridiculous, in a show about the mafia. She was clearly in love with Tony from a very young age, of course his charisma, his confidence, (which came from money) and his success were factors, why wouldn't they be? She admits she made a deal with the devil. Who among us wouldn't make a similar deal? I know I probably would, if I fell in love with some organized crime up and coming woman, who I lost my virginity too.
Tony was angry with Carmella because he realized that Carmella has no clue about what he does or why he does it. She literally is only there for the money. Carmella had no clue about how Tony was able to procure wealth and security for her and her children, completely ignorant of the sacrifices made. She literally doesn't understand how to make money, and shes so stupid about it that she undermines Tony's business savvy and knowledge in an attempt to be some pseudo business woman, mainly out of jealously for angie. And really we see she is complicit in Tony's illegal activities as she sells a couple an unstable home by getting her mobbed up husband to force someone to sign off on it.
For all of Tony's sacrifices in the end none of it mattered. We as the audience come to the realization of the hypocrisy and falsehoods of both Tony's values of family and country. The entire show is a social commentary on American society, which is why you see so many references to American culture at that time, i.e. 911, War on Terror, etc. The decay of American values and American principles is encapsulated in the scene where Phil Leotardo is whacked. His wife gets out of the car and locked children in the car. The camera then zooms in on the FORD logo while the truck rolls over Phil's head.
And remember Carmella isn't the only one we see ignorantly leeching off Tony without a bit of thanks. AJ comes to an existential realization brought on by his depression and disillusionment with American society, but just as he reaches his existential turning point by burning the yellow SUV he decides to turn back to what he knows best and we see him driving a new Mercedes his father bought him. This disillusionment comes straight from Tony and AJ's resentment of his own family. The same thing happens with Meadow, as she decides to become a lawyer in order to represent those exploited by the system. Again, this is her rebeling against her father.
So by the last season we see Tony becomes disillusioned and disheartened by what his life is, what his Italian heritage means in the grand scheme of things, his family's faith in him as a father doing good by his wife and children, and by Americs as a whole.
Anyways, Tony was in the right in that scene. Yes he is powerless and out of control and on the verge of financial ruin, but instead of Carmella working with him to help further secure their financial position, she works against him out of ignorant greed.
How yall watchin this damn show?!?
