Basically you had black folk come to a foreign land against their will stripped of everything and forced to work under servitude of white men who became something of a god- a paternal figure, now black men and black women reacted very differently under their respective oppressive conditions. Black men have always been aware that White men are THE threat. They didn't develop the same sort of complex that black women have with white women
because they realize that white men are the king piece, you take the king, you win the game. So black men have always been ambivalent about white women from the getgo.
Black women on the other hand developed a sort of resentful stepchild complex in regards to white women as well as a warped savior view of white men in general when it's really white men that's behind their unhappiness because without the white male power system, none of this white beauty shyt could even exist. Notice how black women gush whenever a white man pays them attention but when their own men does it, it's doesn't mean as much. They kind of want the white mans stamp of approval because it means that much more. Who's more important, your father or your brother? Black women's "loyalty" as a concept is dependent overall on whether or not they feel validated imo. It's one thing to be loyal when you have no offers and you know you're the last picked, it's easy to be loyal in that particular scenario, it's harder to be loyal when you're bad enough to hop that fence and you still stay where you at. That to me is loyalty.
I feel like a lot of the disrespect stems from slavery. A lot of black women came to view black men through the oppressors eyes and adopted the ideologies.
Black men want to kill the false god and take his place. Black women want the approval of the false god.