What's the most c00nish thing you've seen or heard ?

[LA Fisher]

Knew this black kid who let his white friends call him the N word.

Me: That's disrespectful bro
Him: It's just a word bro

 

[Larry Lobster]

In Sociology class, we was discussing white privileged and this cac started going on a rant about affirmative action and countless other bs concerning black ppl. I get into a debate/argument with him which forced him to lean back on some of the ish he was saying. But he ended it by saying how he doesn't hate all blacks just the bad ones. And this black girl that sat next to him said" I'm one of the good ones right? you like me right? " This c00n bytch was dying for his approval when you can clearly see the disdain he had for black ppl coming from his mouth. I just looked at her and shook my head in embarrassment

You shouldve schooled her on these cacs...

 

[AntiHero]

why would that make you laugh?

Because she was de

btw your avi pic is

ho's in panties is the best mayne!

 

[Grand Eeezus Maxwell]

What's in the new chicken wraps?!?!?!?!



Wrapped up innah!!!!!!!!! (singing)

Yo, I forgot all about this shyt!!

 

[Uncle Kingpin]

The Uncle Ruckus looking nikka who details my car says "I only use white mechanics. I aint lettin no nikka work on my car"




How can you be a black working man but dont trust other blacks to work for YOU???

 

[duckbutta]

I guess it wasn't really c00ning because of the white womans reaction in the end...but the shyt still had me like

Years ago I was interviewing at some mortgage place for an Windows Admin gig...was all dressed up in my little suit...go in...go to like the third floor...talk to the secretary...she tells me the interview is up on like the 18th floor...I get back in the elevator...and racial hell breaks loose...

The door opens and their are two ratchet hoodrat chicks in the front...and when I say ratchet hoodrats...I mean they are wearing tall tee's with sweatpants and they have their hair like this...

Behind them are a couple of old white men in suits like

So I get on...and these chicks are talking loud as hell...and this elevator is slow as fukk...literally stops on damn near every floor...and one of the chicks, the one shaped like a goomba from mario bros....says "girl I told you she was a bytch" and "girl i told you that nikka wasn't shyt" while making this face ...she must have said nikka about 5 times...

By then it is full of white people looking at them like this

And I am just in the back lefthand corner like

So this loud ass white lady gets on...old as fukk...like golden girls old...and she is talking a bout a meeting and shyt...and then this crypt keeper looking bytch says..."Somebody smells like fried chicken!" while making this face

Man this shyt...burned me to my soul...the white people closes to me had to catch me like

...some of the white people...who i guess considered themselves liberal...were ashamed on some

Then the goomba black chick...no fukking lie...pulls out a greasy ass bag of chicken from her hand bag and says..."Girl that's me"

At this point my mind went to some place that only the most beaten down slaves probably went to...I didn't know whether to slap the black chick...slap the old white woman...randomly punch one of the white dudes...or what...I think in the end I tried to

Now this is where it takes a M.Night type of twist...

This old white lady...who was on the opposite end of the elevator...rushed through the crowd of people...I mean elbowing, leg sweeps, spotted arms pulls...all the way over to that black chick like ...and said "where did you get that chicken it smells so good!"

Ratchet chick says "girl I got it from the cafeteria down stairs"

Old white lady says "It's open?"

Ratchet chick doesn't even answer, she opens the bag of chicken and they both inhale deeply and start

White chick yells out in the elevator "Thomas till them I am going to be late for the meeting I'm going back down stairs to get some of this fried chicken"...and starts mashing the ground floor button on the elevator...

My floor finally comes up and I slide out the elevator...the damn bag is so greasy when I bump against it, it leaves a stain on they cuff of my dress coat...

I look back and the ratchet chick is like ...and some of the white people are looking at that bag of chicken like

 

[mrken12]

Don Lemon.

 

[Grand Eeezus Maxwell]

he ended it by saying how he doesn't hate all blacks just the bad ones. And this black girl that sat next to him said" I'm one of the good ones right? you like me right? "

Tell her to google what they think a 'good one' is.

All of a sudden duke starts getting excited, and I hear him say "I know I dont deserve you, im black". She was trying to politely tell him to K.I.M, and in response he went on a c00n rampage and started mutilating himself, throwing black folks under the bus. He was rambling about how much he hated black people, hated being black, wished he were white so she'd give him a chance...

That's just fukkin' pathetic.

 

[ScottyG]

I guess it wasn't really c00ning because of the white womans reaction in the end...but the shyt still had me like

Years ago I was interviewing at some mortgage place for an Windows Admin gig...was all dressed up in my little suit...go in...go to like the third floor...talk to the secretary...she tells me the interview is up on like the 18th floor...I get back in the elevator...and racial hell breaks loose...

The door opens and their are two ratchet hoodrat chicks in the front...and when I say ratchet hoodrats...I mean they are wearing tall tee's with sweatpants and they have their hair like this...

Behind them are a couple of old white men in suits like

So I get on...and these chicks are talking loud as hell...and this elevator is slow as fukk...literally stops on damn near every floor...and one of the chicks, the one shaped like a goomba from mario bros....says "girl I told you she was a bytch" and "girl i told you that nikka wasn't shyt" while making this face ...she must have said nikka about 5 times...

By then it is full of white people looking at them like this

And I am just in the back lefthand corner like

So this loud ass white lady gets on...old as fukk...like golden girls old...and she is talking a bout a meeting and shyt...and then this crypt keeper looking bytch says..."Somebody smells like fried chicken!" while making this face

Man this shyt...burned me to my soul...the white people closes to me had to catch me like

...some of the white people...who i guess considered themselves liberal...were ashamed on some

Then the goomba black chick...no fukking lie...pulls out a greasy ass bag of chicken from her hand bag and says..."Girl that's me"

At this point my mind went to some place that only the most beaten down slaves probably went to...I didn't know whether to slap the black chick...slap the old white woman...randomly punch one of the white dudes...or what...I think in the end I tried to

Now this is where it takes a M.Night type of twist...

This old white lady...who was on the opposite end of the elevator...rushed through the crowd of people...I mean elbowing, leg sweeps, spotted arms pulls...all the way over to that black chick like ...and said "where did you get that chicken it smells so good!"

Ratchet chick says "girl I got it from the cafeteria down stairs"

Old white lady says "It's open?"

Ratchet chick doesn't even answer, she opens the bag of chicken and they both inhale deeply and start

White chick yells out in the elevator "Thomas till them I am going to be late for the meeting I'm going back down stairs to get some of this fried chicken"...and starts mashing the ground floor button on the elevator...

My floor finally comes up and I slide out the elevator...the damn bag is so greasy when I bump against it, it leaves a stain on they cuff of my dress coat...

I look back and the ratchet chick is like ...and some of the white people are looking at that bag of chicken like

My nikka that plot twist

 

[Larry Lobster]

I guess it wasn't really c00ning because of the white womans reaction in the end...but the shyt still had me like

Years ago I was interviewing at some mortgage place for an Windows Admin gig...was all dressed up in my little suit...go in...go to like the third floor...talk to the secretary...she tells me the interview is up on like the 18th floor...I get back in the elevator...and racial hell breaks loose...

The door opens and their are two ratchet hoodrat chicks in the front...and when I say ratchet hoodrats...I mean they are wearing tall tee's with sweatpants and they have their hair like this...

Behind them are a couple of old white men in suits like

So I get on...and these chicks are talking loud as hell...and this elevator is slow as fukk...literally stops on damn near every floor...and one of the chicks, the one shaped like a goomba from mario bros....says "girl I told you she was a bytch" and "girl i told you that nikka wasn't shyt" while making this face ...she must have said nikka about 5 times...

By then it is full of white people looking at them like this

And I am just in the back lefthand corner like

So this loud ass white lady gets on...old as fukk...like golden girls old...and she is talking a bout a meeting and shyt...and then this crypt keeper looking bytch says..."Somebody smells like fried chicken!" while making this face

Man this shyt...burned me to my soul...the white people closes to me had to catch me like

...some of the white people...who i guess considered themselves liberal...were ashamed on some

Then the goomba black chick...no fukking lie...pulls out a greasy ass bag of chicken from her hand bag and says..."Girl that's me"

At this point my mind went to some place that only the most beaten down slaves probably went to...I didn't know whether to slap the black chick...slap the old white woman...randomly punch one of the white dudes...or what...I think in the end I tried to

Now this is where it takes a M.Night type of twist...

This old white lady...who was on the opposite end of the elevator...rushed through the crowd of people...I mean elbowing, leg sweeps, spotted arms pulls...all the way over to that black chick like ...and said "where did you get that chicken it smells so good!"

Ratchet chick says "girl I got it from the cafeteria down stairs"

Old white lady says "It's open?"

Ratchet chick doesn't even answer, she opens the bag of chicken and they both inhale deeply and start

White chick yells out in the elevator "Thomas till them I am going to be late for the meeting I'm going back down stairs to get some of this fried chicken"...and starts mashing the ground floor button on the elevator...

My floor finally comes up and I slide out the elevator...the damn bag is so greasy when I bump against it, it leaves a stain on they cuff of my dress coat...

I look back and the ratchet chick is like ...and some of the white people are looking at that bag of chicken like

Idk if its some but gawddamn
Please share us some more stories brother

 

[MAKAVELI25]

I guess it wasn't really c00ning because of the white womans reaction in the end...but the shyt still had me like

Years ago I was interviewing at some mortgage place for an Windows Admin gig...was all dressed up in my little suit...go in...go to like the third floor...talk to the secretary...she tells me the interview is up on like the 18th floor...I get back in the elevator...and racial hell breaks loose...

The door opens and their are two ratchet hoodrat chicks in the front...and when I say ratchet hoodrats...I mean they are wearing tall tee's with sweatpants and they have their hair like this...

Behind them are a couple of old white men in suits like

So I get on...and these chicks are talking loud as hell...and this elevator is slow as fukk...literally stops on damn near every floor...and one of the chicks, the one shaped like a goomba from mario bros....says "girl I told you she was a bytch" and "girl i told you that nikka wasn't shyt" while making this face ...she must have said nikka about 5 times...

By then it is full of white people looking at them like this

And I am just in the back lefthand corner like

So this loud ass white lady gets on...old as fukk...like golden girls old...and she is talking a bout a meeting and shyt...and then this crypt keeper looking bytch says..."Somebody smells like fried chicken!" while making this face

Man this shyt...burned me to my soul...the white people closes to me had to catch me like

...some of the white people...who i guess considered themselves liberal...were ashamed on some

Then the goomba black chick...no fukking lie...pulls out a greasy ass bag of chicken from her hand bag and says..."Girl that's me"

At this point my mind went to some place that only the most beaten down slaves probably went to...I didn't know whether to slap the black chick...slap the old white woman...randomly punch one of the white dudes...or what...I think in the end I tried to

Now this is where it takes a M.Night type of twist...

This old white lady...who was on the opposite end of the elevator...rushed through the crowd of people...I mean elbowing, leg sweeps, spotted arms pulls...all the way over to that black chick like ...and said "where did you get that chicken it smells so good!"

Ratchet chick says "girl I got it from the cafeteria down stairs"

Old white lady says "It's open?"

Ratchet chick doesn't even answer, she opens the bag of chicken and they both inhale deeply and start

White chick yells out in the elevator "Thomas till them I am going to be late for the meeting I'm going back down stairs to get some of this fried chicken"...and starts mashing the ground floor button on the elevator...

My floor finally comes up and I slide out the elevator...the damn bag is so greasy when I bump against it, it leaves a stain on they cuff of my dress coat...

I look back and the ratchet chick is like ...and some of the white people are looking at that bag of chicken like

LMAO, the plot twist

 

[Sinnerman]

I guess it wasn't really c00ning because of the white womans reaction in the end...but the shyt still had me like

Years ago I was interviewing at some mortgage place for an Windows Admin gig...was all dressed up in my little suit...go in...go to like the third floor...talk to the secretary...she tells me the interview is up on like the 18th floor...I get back in the elevator...and racial hell breaks loose...

The door opens and their are two ratchet hoodrat chicks in the front...and when I say ratchet hoodrats...I mean they are wearing tall tee's with sweatpants and they have their hair like this...

Behind them are a couple of old white men in suits like

So I get on...and these chicks are talking loud as hell...and this elevator is slow as fukk...literally stops on damn near every floor...and one of the chicks, the one shaped like a goomba from mario bros....says "girl I told you she was a bytch" and "girl i told you that nikka wasn't shyt" while making this face ...she must have said nikka about 5 times...

By then it is full of white people looking at them like this

And I am just in the back lefthand corner like

So this loud ass white lady gets on...old as fukk...like golden girls old...and she is talking a bout a meeting and shyt...and then this crypt keeper looking bytch says..."Somebody smells like fried chicken!" while making this face

Man this shyt...burned me to my soul...the white people closes to me had to catch me like

...some of the white people...who i guess considered themselves liberal...were ashamed on some

Then the goomba black chick...no fukking lie...pulls out a greasy ass bag of chicken from her hand bag and says..."Girl that's me"

At this point my mind went to some place that only the most beaten down slaves probably went to...I didn't know whether to slap the black chick...slap the old white woman...randomly punch one of the white dudes...or what...I think in the end I tried to

Now this is where it takes a M.Night type of twist...

This old white lady...who was on the opposite end of the elevator...rushed through the crowd of people...I mean elbowing, leg sweeps, spotted arms pulls...all the way over to that black chick like ...and said "where did you get that chicken it smells so good!"

Ratchet chick says "girl I got it from the cafeteria down stairs"

Old white lady says "It's open?"

Ratchet chick doesn't even answer, she opens the bag of chicken and they both inhale deeply and start

White chick yells out in the elevator "Thomas till them I am going to be late for the meeting I'm going back down stairs to get some of this fried chicken"...and starts mashing the ground floor button on the elevator...

My floor finally comes up and I slide out the elevator...the damn bag is so greasy when I bump against it, it leaves a stain on they cuff of my dress coat...

I look back and the ratchet chick is like ...and some of the white people are looking at that bag of chicken like

 

[QuintessentialBM]

Dark skin female talkin bout she don't date dark skin men..... "I only date Puerto Ricans."

I let that self-hating hoe go on her merry little way.

 

[duckbutta]

Idk if its some but gawddamn
Please share us some more stories brother

Nope that is exactly how it happened...it was years ago and i can vividly recall every little detail because it was one of the most mind blowing experiences of my life...

I totally blew the interview cause my head was just like ...and then i spent the rest of the day like ...because their are so many questions that were left unanswered...

1. Did the ratchet chicks work there? I was on the 3rd floor when I got back on and they were already on it, so that means they probably got on the ground floor. They were wearing tall tee's and sweatpants, everyone else was in a suit. What place could possibly allow you to wear that? Even crappy call centers make you were jeans and a decent shirt...

2. When I got off on like the 18th floor they were still on it, so what is going on above the 18th floor? Some sort of ratchet convention?

3. She had the bag of chicken and one of those huge oversized purses...who does that? Who just takes a bag of chicken, puts it in their purse, and keeps it moving? Did she not care about the other items in her purse? Was there any other items in the purse?

4. To me...this is the most of all...where was she going? If she really was going up...was it to a job and she was going to share the chicken with co-workers...i doubt it...cause she never once mentioned the chicken to her ratchet friend when they were saying nikka over and over...the chicken only came up when the white women smelled it...was it understood her ratchet friend was going to get some chicken...had they done this before and she knew she wasn't so why even bring it up?...or what if there is just some sort of convention or public speaking thing they are going to...those things last at least an hour...she was just going to pull fried chicken out and eat it? She was just going to let fried chicken sit in her purse until it was over?

5. How did the white women smell that damn chicken? I was on the elevator before her, standing right behind the chicks, and I didn't smell any chicken at all? Does that mean I'm not black enough to smell chicken unless I see it? Was the white women one of those rare country/accidental racist/ratchet white women...I know a white chick from Fort Worth like that...chick is in her late 20's...never been out of the dallas area...I saw her flip out at a taco bell cause she asked for the "rd sc" and they were like "you mean hot sauce?"...she pulled the "you know what I fukking mean"...but who the fukk says "red sauce"...you should hear her talk.. you see how I left the vowels out of her asking for red sauce....it's because she never uses vowels when she talks...everything she says is full of hard c's...stressed m's...and hard g's...

I got another story about some corporate c00ning stuff that was lame at the time but looking back at it...it was kinda funny...if it's still on my mind later I will post it

 

[Box Cutta]

I guess it wasn't really c00ning because of the white womans reaction in the end...but the shyt still had me like

Years ago I was interviewing at some mortgage place for an Windows Admin gig...was all dressed up in my little suit...go in...go to like the third floor...talk to the secretary...she tells me the interview is up on like the 18th floor...I get back in the elevator...and racial hell breaks loose...

The door opens and their are two ratchet hoodrat chicks in the front...and when I say ratchet hoodrats...I mean they are wearing tall tee's with sweatpants and they have their hair like this...

Behind them are a couple of old white men in suits like

So I get on...and these chicks are talking loud as hell...and this elevator is slow as fukk...literally stops on damn near every floor...and one of the chicks, the one shaped like a goomba from mario bros....says "girl I told you she was a bytch" and "girl i told you that nikka wasn't shyt" while making this face ...she must have said nikka about 5 times...

By then it is full of white people looking at them like this

And I am just in the back lefthand corner like

So this loud ass white lady gets on...old as fukk...like golden girls old...and she is talking a bout a meeting and shyt...and then this crypt keeper looking bytch says..."Somebody smells like fried chicken!" while making this face

Man this shyt...burned me to my soul...the white people closes to me had to catch me like

...some of the white people...who i guess considered themselves liberal...were ashamed on some

Then the goomba black chick...no fukking lie...pulls out a greasy ass bag of chicken from her hand bag and says..."Girl that's me"

At this point my mind went to some place that only the most beaten down slaves probably went to...I didn't know whether to slap the black chick...slap the old white woman...randomly punch one of the white dudes...or what...I think in the end I tried to

Now this is where it takes a M.Night type of twist...

This old white lady...who was on the opposite end of the elevator...rushed through the crowd of people...I mean elbowing, leg sweeps, spotted arms pulls...all the way over to that black chick like ...and said "where did you get that chicken it smells so good!"

Ratchet chick says "girl I got it from the cafeteria down stairs"

Old white lady says "It's open?"

Ratchet chick doesn't even answer, she opens the bag of chicken and they both inhale deeply and start

White chick yells out in the elevator "Thomas till them I am going to be late for the meeting I'm going back down stairs to get some of this fried chicken"...and starts mashing the ground floor button on the elevator...

My floor finally comes up and I slide out the elevator...the damn bag is so greasy when I bump against it, it leaves a stain on they cuff of my dress coat...

I look back and the ratchet chick is like ...and some of the white people are looking at that bag of chicken like

I can't breathe....

The image of the bytch pulling the bag of chicken out her bag....

You standing in the back of the elevator on some shyt....

The greasy ass bag fukking up your outfit....

Too fukkin' much....